“So how did you find out about Club X?” Lucian asks suddenly, looking at me with an intensity that makes me forget about all my worries for a moment and causes a shiver to run down my spine. Although I’m still slightly on edge, I love the way he’s looking at me; like I’m the only one in the room. And seeing as how we’re surrounded by beautiful, wealthy-looking women that make me feel insecure, I feel pretty fucking special right about now.
I pause for a moment, lowering my gaze, my skin pricking at the soft emotions swelling my breasts. I’m unsure if I should tell him how Carla approached me and swore me to secrecy, but I decide there’s little harm. He’s a member of Club X, not an outsider. I won’t be revealing anything about the club he doesn’t already know. “My friend, Carla, told me about it one day out of the blue,” I say softly.
Lucian arches a brow, his fingers running along the stem of his glass. “Any particular reason?”
I blush slightly at the memory, but I’m glad that we’re talking. The conversation is helping me relax, and focusing on Lucian is making it easy to tune out the people around me. “She invited me because she said she could tell I’d like it. She said I was an obvious Submissive and that I’d enjoy it.”
Lucian takes a sip of his chardonnay, still looking at me in a way that makes my skin prickle. “So, you said your friend’s name is Carla?”
“Yes,” I reply. “Her Dom is named Bruce, and he’s actually her boyfriend.” Including that small bit of information makes my blood heat with insecurity. She’s more to him than I am to Lucian. I have to look away from Lucian and clear my throat before continuing. “I don’t know if you know him or not.”
A thoughtful expression graces Lucian’s handsome face. “Hmm. Can’t say that I’ve heard of those two before, and I usually know who the couples are within the club.” Lucian’s eyes grow distant and I know he’s thinking about some event in the past, something that troubles him because his demeanor has shifted. “But then again, I’ve been away from the club for a while.”
I clear my throat and ask, “Will we be going back to the club anytime soon?”
“If you’d like, we can.” He straightens in his seat and clears his throat, the hard lines on his face softening. “In fact, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”
“About what?” I ask curiously.
“I think it might be beneficial for you to be around other couples, get used to how they interact. It’ll help you with training.”
I nervously half smile. I’m anxious about trying something outside my safe zone, and I prefer the privacy of Lucian’s playroom, but I’m anxious to see more of the club. “I think so, too,” I agree, a small thrill running through me.
Lucian seems pleased at my response and he once again gives me that look that makes my skin prick. “You’re so beautiful, do you know that?”
I blush furiously, my heart doing backflips at his unabashed praise. That compliment was totally unexpected. Lucian’s really making me feel like that we actually are a couple, even though this is supposed to be pretend. I have to shake my head and remind myself that this isn’t real. It’s all make-believe. “Thank you,” I say in a soft voice, a shy smile on my lips.
Lucian shakes his head. “No thanks needed here. So why is it that you decided to enter the auction?”
I freeze as his question triggers those dark memories that are always waiting for the right moment to pounce. The very reasons that drove me to Club X. Several painful images flash in front of my face and I have to grip the edges of the table to keep my composure. I lower my gaze, breathing deeply, slowly, fighting to push those horrible images away. Not here. Not now. Go the fuck away.
When I look up, Lucian is staring at me with concern in his eyes and my heart is suddenly aching for him. Maybe I should just be open with him. Doesn’t he have the right to know? A powerful urge presses down on my chest, bidding me to tell him everything.
I respect your needs and your submission, and you do the same for me and my dominance. It’s about trust, respect and communication.
His words bear heavy on my conscience. If I truly want our relationship and contract to be successful, shouldn’t I be truthful with him and let him know who he’s really dealing with? Isn’t that what trust is all about?
“Treasure?” Lucian’s deep voice snaps me to attention.
I open my mouth, ready to tell him everything, but no words come out. I can’t bring myself to say it, can’t bring myself to reveal my dark secret. A secret that could possibly push Lucian away. Fuck. I feel ashamed. I wish this wasn’t so fucking awkward, too.
I give Lucian a light, fraudulent smile and shrug. “I don’t know... I just... wanted to try it.” I feel shitty for lying, and it’s so fucking obvious that I am, but what else can I do? I’m not telling Lucian about my past. At least not right now. I don’t want to mess up our arrangement in any way. It’s just sex. And it’s over in less than a month. I don’t owe him anything more.
Lucian peers at me, his eyes piercing me with their skepticism. “Are you sure there isn’t something else you aren’t telling me?”
I almost fold beneath his questioning gaze, my heart hammering in my chest. It’s funny how the tables turn. A minute ago I was prying into his past, but now he’s prying into mine. And he didn’t open up to me. The reminder hardens my resolve. I duck my head, tearing my eyes from his and look down into my glass of water. “I’m sure,” I repeat firmly, injecting as much strength into my voice as possible to get him off my back.
It’s about trust, respect and communication, his words scream in my head, making me feel even more like shit.
Lucian stares at me intently, looking like he wants to press the issue, but then he straightens, a smile curling the corner of his lips as he takes a sip of his chardonnay. I relax slightly, realizing he’s letting me off the hook. Thank God. He’s definitely not buying my lie, though, and for some reason he seems content on letting me get away with it. For now.
A feeling of relief flows through me when the waiter returns with our food balanced in each hand. My stomach quietly rumbles as the rich aroma fills my nostrils and he sets the plates down in front of us.
“Anything else, sir?” the waiter asks.
“No, thank you,” Lucian’s quick to reply.
“Enjoy,” he says. And with a flash of a smile, the waiter’s gone.
Grabbing my heavy fork, I take a bite of the tender meat dipped in sauce, and my eyes widen as the sweet tangy flavor fills my mouth. Damn. Lucian is right.
“This is delicious,” I remark, waiting for Lucian’s gaze to meet mine. “Thank you.” I hope he knows how serious I am.
Lucian grins. “I knew you would like it,” he says confidently.
“So how did you become the CEO of your company?” I ask after a few more delicious bites. Having read the article about his rise to success, I pretty much know what Lucian is going to say, but I’d like to hear him tell it. I figure now is a good time as ever to hopefully turn this date around and focus on something that will lighten the mood.
Lucian eyes me. “How did you know I was CEO? Much less own my own company?” There’s a bit of humor in his voice. I’m sure he knows I cyberstalked him.
I freeze mid-bite, my mind racing with an explanation other than the obvious. Fuck. Lucian never told me what he did, and I never asked. Nor was there any mention of his occupation in the contract. I open my mouth to say, “I just assumed that,” but then snap my lips shut, feeling a bite of shame. It’s one thing to tell a lie because you’re hiding something too personal to share, it’s another to tell one to cover something harmless.
A blush reddening my cheeks, I sheepishly admit, “I looked you up on the net.”
I brace myself, half expecting Lucian to go into a rage for my intrusion on his privacy, but he just chuckles. “I was sure you had, my sweet treasure,” he says. “I’d do the same thing if I were in your shoes. Hell, it’s the smart thing to do. I would never advise anyone to enter i
nto a contract with a stranger without knowing something about them, especially someone you’d be entrusting with your safety.”
I’m relieved that Lucian hasn’t taken offense to my prying. For some reason, I keep waiting for him to punish me for any blunders. It’s like the line is blurring between Dom Lucian and real Lucian. I don’t know which one I’m talking to. “One thing the articles I read kept going on about was how young you were to head a successful startup,” I add. “That’s impressive.”
Lucian nods. “I had some help from a friend. He’s a silent partner now.”
“What about your family?” I ask. “Did you come from,” I wave my hand in the direction of the other guests, “this?” I don’t know how to word it.
“No,” Lucian says simply. “I’m from a blue collar family.” The ease in his voice is gone, and I can tell I’ve struck a nerve. “They’re dead to me now,” he says quietly.
I sit there awkwardly, frustrated that we somehow keep making each other upset, but not quite knowing what to do. The anger in Lucian’s voice... it’s raw. There’s pain there. And pain is an emotion I’m well accustomed to.
Moved by emotion and instinct, I swallow back a lump in my throat, and reach over and place my hand atop of his. His gaze drops to where our hands are joined, and my heartbeat slows. For an instant, I fear I’ve crossed the line. But he surprises me by giving me a glimpse of a smile and running his thumb gently over the back of my hand.
I tell him softly, my voice filled with empathy, my eyes finding his, “Sometimes family can do you worse than a person on the street would.”
Trust me, I should know, I think to myself as those dark images threaten to come back. Nausea twists my stomach, and I’m angry at myself for even thinking about them right now.
My words seem to have a profound effect on Lucian because he visibly relaxes in his chair. “Thank you,” he says warmly to me. He pauses and takes a deep breath, then lets out an explosive sigh. “And there’s something else, too.”
My heart jumps in my chest. Maybe he’s about to reveal something. “What’s that?”
“I was going through a divorce at the same time,” he forces out.
I raise my eyebrows, surprised he would bring this up, but I’m hopeful that I’ll find out what caused it and maybe find out what kind of man Lucian is.
Lucian nods, his eyes burning with anger and a hint of sadness. “It wasn’t pleasant.”
I lean forward slightly. “Did it have anything to do with…” I trail off, but I know he gets my meaning, though I feel like I’m once again walking on the edge by prying where I shouldn’t. Yet, I can’t help myself.
Lucian is quiet for a moment, digesting my question. Finally, he shakes his head. “No. My ex was into the same lifestyle, actually. We both enjoyed it.” He huffs out a dry, humorless chuckle. “She craved the money more.”
Damn. Why do I keep bringing these things up? “I don’t know what to say,” I say slowly.
“There’s nothing for you to say,” Lucian says dismissively. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”
“Well, I feel awful for even having brought it up. Sorry I asked.”
Lucian waves my apology away again. “What's done is done.” He looks at me, his eyes assessing me in a way that makes me feel fuzzy inside. “I’d rather focus on the here and now.”
Unable to take his gaze, a blush comes to my cheeks and I lower my head.
“Look at me,” Lucian commands.
I raise my eyes, my cheeks burning all the hotter. “Sir?” Crap. Why do I keep doing that?
“Lucian,” he says firmly.
“Lucian,” I repeat.
Fingering his wine glass, Lucian studies me, a slight smile on his lips and my skin pricks at the emotion that grips my chest. I recognize the feeling and it makes me nervous. Lucian said this was all for show, but why do I keep feeling like it’s something more?
I need to just focus on the sex, I repeat to myself, because that’s all this is. For thirty days.
“Would you like to go for a walk after dinner?” Lucian asks, his beautiful eyes still focused on me. “There’s a cobblestone trail that leads to a bridge overlooking the water. On a night like this, I’m sure you’ll love it.” He pauses a moment, glancing at my blouse before adding, “I’ll have a coat brought for you.”
I pause, thinking, No, what I want you to do is take me back to your place and make me beg for that big fat cock, but I only feel more confused. I’m not sure what’s to gain from taking a walk as a couple, if it’s not supposed to be real. I thought he just wanted to show me off in public and then whisk me back away into privacy.
I part my lips, feeling an urge to decline. I’m already having trouble separating my sexual energy from my emotions and Lucian is sending me mixed signals, making it worse. But at the same time, I’m scared of angering him. He’s a man that won’t be denied, and I still feel like I’m his Sub, even out in public. “Yes,” I reply dutifully, flashing a weak smile, my cheeks turning red yet again. “I would love that.”
I don’t miss the satisfaction that flashes in Lucian’s eyes. “Good.”
We continue eating our meal, our conversation turning to lighter things, and despite my nervousness, I find myself relaxing. Lucian’s charm makes me feel at ease and he’s showing a tender side of himself that I didn’t think he possessed. Several times throughout the meal, I have to go back to reminding myself that he’s just doing this for show and that he doesn’t care one way or another about me, except for being his paid sex toy.
Still, I’m so charmed by his behavior, I find myself wondering if it would be better to just tell him the truth. Outside of the playroom, he seems like such a nice guy, and I feel guilty about lying even more now after hearing the story about his ex. Maybe disclosing the truth would improve my experience as his Sub instead of negatively impacting it.
If only I had the courage to find out.
Seeing my distressed expression, Lucian asks, “Something you want to tell me?”
Anxiety crushes my stomach as I look into Lucian’s eyes. He’s been so gracious to me tonight, even if it wasn’t real, revealing things that he didn’t have to share with me. But as much as I want to, I don’t think I can bring myself to tell him. I feel like he wouldn't understand. How could he? Being a Dom is just a lifestyle to him, but being a Sub is a need for me.
Feeling sick to my stomach, I shake my head, plaster a fake smile on my face, and answer, “No… I was just thinking I didn’t save room for dessert.”
Chapter 17
Lucian
I lean back in my chair, facing the large window at the back of my office. From here, the skyline is quiet, moving slowly underneath me. Nothing at all like the reality of being on the busy streets of the city. From up here, it’s calming. The steel and glass shine with a sleek beauty that radiates a sense of power.
I tap my thumb along the armrest of the chair, thinking about the other night. The phone on my desk rings and it draws my attention, but I hit the button to silence it. I don’t need any interruptions right now. I rise from my seat and walk to the window. Last night was more enjoyable than I thought it would be. It was a success as well. Andrea and the agency are pleased with the article that’ll be going live at some point today online and hitting the magazines tomorrow.
Most Eligible Bachelor is on the Dating Scene. …how inaccurate. I sigh deeply and ignore the ill feelings stirring in the pit of my stomach. I’d rather stay away from the press altogether, but I’ve chosen this course of action. I’ll see it through.
One thing I hadn’t quite prepared was my reaction to taking my sweet treasure out. Her lack of understanding is drawing me in more than I ever thought it would. I’m actually excited to take her to the club tonight. I never thought I’d get the same thrill from Club X that I once had. But it’s ringing in my blood.
There’s something bothering her though. It was obvious with the way she was hesitating last night. I don’t like it. I don’t like
her keeping secrets from me.
I’ve arranged for a private room tonight so I can get to the bottom of it. I’m sure a little orgasm denial will get her talking. Especially considering how disappointed she was last night before I took her out. An asymmetric grin kicks my lips up. She didn’t fuss with her punishment though. She didn’t argue with me. She’s so fucking perfect, and she has absolutely no idea.
It’s hard to believe she had no experience as a Sub before this. I remember our conversation about her ex, and the curiosity rises in me once again.
I walk back to my desk and click on the emails. Isaac should have a good bit of detail for me on Dahlia’s last relationships. She’s had social media profiles for years, so her background check and history will be sent to me shortly. Maybe I should feel ashamed for digging into her past and violating her privacy… but I don’t. Not in the least. She’s my Submissive, and therefore my responsibility.
Isaac’s a professional. He’s worked in security for years, and I can trust him. It’s not the first time I’ve asked him to look into someone and he’s done it with no questions asked.
My phone rings again, and I stare at it with irritation before finally lifting it off the hook and begrudgingly answering it.
“Stone.”
“Mr. Stone, it’s Andrea.” I recognize her voice instantly. Andrea sounds less than her usual chipper self. She sounds nervous, and the realization makes me stand tall.
“Yes,” I say in an even tone.
The sounds of her clearing her throat fill the phone as I wait with tense shoulders. Whatever it is, she can just spit it out. It better not have a damn thing to do with the article or my comment though. “My comment about Miss Days-”
“Mr. Stone, it’s about your wife.”
“Ex-wife.” I’m quick to correct her. Unconsciously my ring finger twitches as I think about how a ring will never lay there again.
“I’m so sorry, sir. Your ex-wife. She’s taking this to a different level now.”
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