Isaac’s strong hand cups the nape of my neck and he leans down, pressing his lips to mine. I melt into him, reeling under the force of his powerful lips. It’s a passionate kiss, one that makes me forget the pain summoned by thinking about my past. Just when I think the kiss is going to lead to something more, Isaac breaks away, resting his forehead against mine.
I swallow the disappointment that follows, knowing that I must accept what he gives, even if it’s not as much as I want. “You think of me and only me when I’m with you,” Isaac says firmly. “I don’t care what is on your mind. Only I matter. Only pleasing me matters. Fuck everyone else. Do I make myself clear?”
My heart nearly jumps from my chest. He’s right. He’s the only thing that matters. I know better. But I’m worried I’m going to keep disappointing him. “Yes, Master,” I say. Shock runs through me as I say the words. I hadn’t planned on saying the title; I don’t know if I’m ready. But too late now.
Without warning, Isaac pushes his hands between my legs and up my dress roughly, shoving me back onto the bed. I fall back onto the velvet pillows, my head coming dangerously close to slamming against the headboard as Isaac exposes my glistening sex and ruthlessly shoves his fingers inside of my pussy, causing me to gasp out.
“Say it again,” Isaac demands, his voice hoarse, but filled with both authority and desire.
I arch my back, my walls clenching around his fingers, wet sounds filling my ears as he thrusts his fingers in and out of my pussy like a mad man, forcing my arousal to pool down my thigh and all over his fingers. My body ignites with passion and pleasure. My limbs stiffen with an impending orgasm. “Master!” I cry, my voice filled with aching pleasure. I’m already close to climax, my core heating up like a fucking furnace, my stomach twisting into tight knots.
Isaac is obviously pleased by my obedience and he picks up the pace of his punishing fingering, and kisses along my jawline, his strong body lying against mine, forcing me to be still and take everything he gives me. I blush as I know the guard outside must be hearing the sounds of my pleasure, but I don’t care.
“Good girl, cum freely.” His rough voice sends a chill of desire through my body. “Cum for your Master.” Isaac lowers his head and bites down on my hardened nipple with a stinging force as he continues to assault my pussy. It’s more than I can bear. It’s what takes me over the edge, and rewards me my release.
Throwing back my head, I cry out as thousands of shockwaves blast through my body. My limbs jolt with each spasm of my pussy around his fingers. My breathing stills, and my body feels paralyzed with the intensity. When it’s all over and he finally pulls away from me, I lie still. Waiting for him to command me. I settle back onto the bed, lying limp with a shuddering sigh as Isaac walks over to get a small hand towel off one of the dressers where they’re neatly stacked. He smiles down at me as he wipes gently between my thighs, the rough texture sending a residual wave of pleasure through me, though there are still fluid spots all over the bedding.
When he’s done, he tosses the towel aside and sits next to me, petting my hair and comforting me.
After a moment he whispers, “I’d rather not be here, kitten.”
My pulse spikes with fear. Had I done something wrong? “I don’t understand.”
He lifts me into a seated position in his lap, calming me. I’m exhausted and I lean against him slightly, although I pay close attention to his reaction, in case that’s not what he wants.
“I want you in my home,” Isaac clarifies, filling me with slight relief. “I have a room ready for you there. But I need your complete submission.” Isaac reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of folded paper. “You need to read these now and you’ll tell me if you find them acceptable to follow.”
What’s this?
My heart racing, I slowly take the folded piece of paper from his hand and open it, my eyes hungrily devouring every single word on the neatly creased paper.
RULES
1. You will wear my chain. Always. In and out of the club with pride, signifying my ownership of you.
2. You will not allow anyone to touch it, and you will also not touch the chain.
3. When we are apart, you will write my name on a body part of my choosing. You attire and the place of my name will be decided by me and sent to you the night before.
4. You will stay with me when you’re able. Conditions may be discussed.
5. You will serve, obey, and please your Master. And you will never show disrespect for your Master.
6. You will worship my body, and I will worship yours in return.
7. To receive pleasure, you must earn it.
8. You will trust me in all things.
9. You will not hesitate when responding to me, and you will be specific in your speech.
10. You will thank me for your discipline and punishments as much as your rewards.
11. You will always be in submission to your Master.
12. All of your choices will be based on whether or not they will please me.
13. Your eyes will never be cast down, and your head never bowed. You represent me, and you will demand respect.
14. You will keep your sex shaved and never wear undergarments. In my presence, your sex and ass will be available to me at all times. As well as your mouth.
15. All of your worries and fears will be the burden of your Master.
16. You will not hesitate to obey your Master.
17. You will always be ready to please your Master.
18. You are my greatest treasure, and your trust in me will not be taken for granted.
19. You will never reach an orgasm without explicit permission given. Should you do so, you will be swiftly and severely punished. I own your pleasure.
20. Through discipline and reward you will learn to behave properly and become a better slave for your Master.
21. You are allowed to suggest ways to further your training or your preferences, so long as you address your Master properly.
22. You must always respond both physically and verbally to whatever I choose to do with you. Your expressions are important to me, and you will not hide them.
23. If you choose to be marked by your Master, you will never tighten your body when you are being whipped, caned, cropped, slapped, paddled, belted, spanked, or anally or vaginally fucked. I want to see your flesh squirm and when you tighten your body, it hurts more. You will be proud to wear the marks I give you.
24. You will not be shared at any time, and you will not offer yourself sexually in any way to anyone else.
25. In my bondage, you will be made free. In submission you will find your true self.
The words burn into my memory as I look up from the paper at Isaac. I expected some of the rules and they’re easy to agree with, but I wasn’t expecting a list this long. As far as I'm concerned, there is only one rule. Obey my Master. I look back down at the paper and consider each one with careful diligence.
Isaac is staring at me, his green eyes boring into me with intensity, as if waiting for me to protest. “Understand that the only relationship I want with you is one in which these rules are followed. Some issues may be negotiable, but others are not.”
Unconsciously, I bring my hand to my throat, my fingers trailing my scars. This all feels so real. I try to swallow but a lump grows in my throat, it’s painful and threatening to suffocate me.
Isaac’s next words causes my blood to turn to ice. “I have a contract for you to sign.” I already signed so many, but I know this one will be different. One where I agree to be his Slave. It won’t just be something I can do as I please. Coming into the club when I want to play.
My heart skips a beat as anxiety washes over me. I want this. I know I do… but I don’t know if I can allow this. I part my lips to speak, but no words come out. I didn’t anticipate this happening so quickly.
“You can walk away at any time without fear of losing me as your Master.” Isaac rests his hand gently on my thigh as the paper crinkles
in my hand.
I want to take solace in his words, but it’s difficult. “I was a Slave before,” I nearly whisper.
Isaac nods. “I know you were trained in some ways, but I have different tastes and preferences. I think that should be clear from some of the rules.”
“It is,” I say. I certainly could never look at my other Master without bowing. I couldn’t look him in the eyes without permission. I learned those rules the hard way. They were never written out, nothing ever was. Nor was I able to demand respect from others. I was to act like I was nothing. Because I was nothing. It’s hard to breathe as I compare the two. Isaac is not at all like my previous Master. Shame and guilt flow through me. The memories of what I went through consume me, the same chill and fear take over. “I can’t,” I blurt out, standing up quickly and nearly falling off the bed. I need to get out of here. I feel lightheaded and I need air. I can’t breathe.
Isaac places a hand on my shoulder and another on my hip, bracing me, steadying me from falling. He can tell that I’m not alright, and he’s not pressing me. I’m grateful.
“Shh, you’re with me, kitten,” he shushes me. Calming me, but I still can’t breathe.
“Bathroom, please.”
“Of course,” he says and leads me out of the room, the men watching us as he takes me to a private bathroom in the hall. I grip onto his hands as he tries to leave me, not ready to let go.
“I’m here. I’ll be here when you get back. I promise you, it’s alright.”
Slowly, I leave his side and concentrate on the click of my heels on the tiled floor and taking one breath at a time.
Inside, I slump against the sink, bowing my head, my mind racing with panic. Slowly the sound of the blood rushing in my ears is replaced by the dull hum of the music I heard when I first walked in. I’m safe here. I’m safe.
I whisper the words to Fire and Ice over and over again. Slowly, my pulse calms, my vision clears. I blink away the flashes of memories and look at the woman staring back at me.
I’m strong. I’m healthy. I’m healed.
Healed? I don’t know. I don’t know anymore. I’m unsure about everything. Sucking in a deep breath, I turn on the faucet, letting the cool water wash over my heated skin and greedily drinking some of it to soothe my dried, aching throat. The sound of the door opening causes me to jump, but I relax just as quickly as Madam Lynn walks in, her vibrant red heels clicking against the floor.
She walks directly over to me, her eyes wide with concern. “Are you alright, Katia?” she asks me gently, placing a hand on my shoulder.
I turn off the faucet, concentrating on the sound. My lower lip trembles as I answer her honestly. “I don’t know… I’m trying.” I let out a ragged sigh, feeling tears sting the back of my eyes, but I don’t cry. “It’s hard to let go and to trust that everything is going to be okay.” Despite my confusion, I know I still want Isaac as my Master. All of him. But I can’t submit so much power and control so quickly. I can’t do it. I won’t. I’m just worried that he won’t be able to wait for me, that he might think I’m too broken to fix. But I won’t do it. Not yet.
“This is about your Master?” she asks me. “Is he even your Master?”
“I don’t know.” Again I answer honestly, and it pains me as I realize he isn’t. A Master needs control in all things. “No, he’s not.”
“Do you want him to be?” she asks in a comforting voice.
“Yes,” I answer quickly. “I’m afraid I can’t submit right now though.” I have to close my eyes and push the emotions down. I know I can’t fully submit to him, even though I want him. I want him as my Master. But I just can’t.
“And you’re afraid he won’t wait for you?”
I nod my head, brushing the bastard tears away from my heated cheeks as I whisper in a choked voice, “Yes.”
Madam Lynn is eyeing me with cool compassion as her words pull me out of my reverie. “Something tells me that he’d do anything to have you, Katia. So don’t underestimate the power you have in this relationship.” She rubs her hand down my back as I try to pull myself together. “Be honest with him, and what you want will come to you. I promise you.” She lets her words sink in before leaving me alone with my thoughts.
God, I hope she’s right.
Chapter 11
Isaac
I cannot let her leave like this. I run my hands through my hair, pacing the hall outside the women’s restroom. I know this is a lot for her. I do. But I need her commitment so that I can start her training and help her.
I'm all in. I'm taking this completely seriously. I need her to commit.
Maybe I’m asking too much? But I don’t see how I could be. She says she wants this, and I know she needs it.
Madam Lynn walks out first, and I stop in my tracks.
“I saw what you did,” she says and I know she almost says my name, but someone walks behind us, stealing her attention and reminding her where we are. “You need to be gentle.”
I stare at her, my blood heating with anger. “She is not your concern.”
“Correction, she is not yet your concern.” She takes a step closer, lowering her voice. “Maybe if you tried a different approach?” Her eyebrows raise as though I’m missing something obvious.
“You know I don’t do subtleties,” I say beneath my breath. I know I’m fucking this up royally. But how? I have no fucking clue. I only need her to agree, and then this will all be so much easier.
“Maybe show her what it’s like first. Give her a taste, ease her into it.” Ease her into it. How the fuck am I supposed to do that?
I let her words resonate with me as the sound of the bathroom door opens and my kitten walks out with her hands clasped and her head down, a solemn look etched onto her face.
“Think about it,” Madam Lynn says quietly before walking off, leaving me with the bit of advice she’s cared to offer.
“Katia?” I close the space between us, waiting for her to look at me. When she does, my heart breaks for her.
“I’m sorry, Isaac -” I press my fingers to her lips. She instantly silences and her sad eyes widen, her breath hitching.
“No need to apologize. You have done nothing wrong. I am only displeased with myself.” I move my hand away and plant a chaste kiss on her lips and then her neck, taking her small hand in mine.
I turn her hand over and kiss her pulse. “I need you to come back with me and talk to me. I have to know what you’re thinking so I can make this right, kitten.” I keep my eyes on hers and gently rub her wrist with the pad of my thumbs in strong soothing circles.
“Yes, Master.” A smile threatens to slip across my lips, but I don’t allow it. Not until I figure out what I’m going to do with her.
As I lead her back to the room, I’m quiet. Lost in thought. I don’t want to take it slow. I don’t want to let her return to her own home and be without me in the evenings. I have needs, but more importantly, she has night terrors. I’m supposed to be her Master, and what good would I be if I allowed her to suffer through them alone?
I can’t. I only need her to realize that.
I unlock the door, ignoring the fact that my own men are standing outside the room. The door opens with a loud click as I realize something.
She can’t know that. Because she doesn’t understand what a true Master is.
She only knows what an abuser is like in the guise of a Master.
I close the door, feeling a surge of renewed strength.
“Come here, kitten,” I say as I sit easily on the edge of the bed and pat the seat next to me. She obeys obediently, placing the palms of her hands on her thighs. I’ll show her what a good Master is worth.
“You do some things so well, Katia.” I compliment her. “Like this.” I place my hand on hers. “You know how to kneel and bow, how you’re expected to sit and stand while you wait for me.” Her eyes stay on mine, but in the soft, pale blues stirs a wealth of sadness and self-consciousness. She’s waiting for the oth
er foot to drop.
“Are you self-taught?” I ask her.
“No,” she says and her voice is weak. “I had a Master.”
“Just one?”
“He shared me, so I had many Masters.” Although she remains still and gives me her attention, her body tenses and the shine in her eyes dulls. We need to get through this, but I hate that it’s happening now. Without my collar, and with the very real chance of her leaving without a commitment to me. I can do this gently though.
“Did you enjoy being shared?”
“No,” she replies and her breathing picks up with fear. I’m quick to calm her worries.
“That pleases me. I don’t share well with others.” I give her a small smile and gently rub her neck.
Her eyes close for a moment as I rub strong soothing strokes with my thumbs down her neck and her shoulders. She’s tense, and her muscles extremely tight.
“Was it your Master who left these marks?” I ask her casually. Some M/s prefer permanent marks. But I already know that these weren’t her preference.
“Some, and the others were left by another man.” The way she says the words leaves a chill to run down my body. I already have an idea of which man she’s referring to. I’ve been investigating his whereabouts. And several others in case I can’t find him myself.
I knead her shoulders, hating that I’m bringing up these memories.
“I don't like leaving permanent marks,” I say easily. I do want to mark her. I want to give her pain to heighten her pleasure. But not like this.
“Were these punishment or pleasure?” I ask her.
“My punishment, and their pleasure.” I stop my ministrations at her confession.
“Your Master enjoyed your punishment?” I pause for effect and continue rubbing her shoulders as I speak quietly. “I don’t know a Master that would enjoy punishment. It should be carried out with disappointment.” I plant a small kiss on her neck. “I assume this Master wasn’t very good to you?”
“No, he wasn’t.”
“I want to be good for you.”
Her eyes lift to mine with a spark of desire, breaking through the negative air surrounding the conversation.
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