I hesitate. I like my artwork, but I’m not sure if Zander will, or anyone else for that matter. I don’t paint it for others; it’s only for me.
“I think I have a picture here in my cell somewhere,” I mumble.
“Can I see?” he asks, his tone filled with inquisitiveness that makes me want to show him.
I dig out my cell from my clutch and flip through the photos until I find a picture of one of my paintings. It’s on the darker side with a woman lying down on a bed while looking out of a small window. It’s not some picturesque painting. Not a classic, like a gorgeous landscape of rolling green hills and an azure blue sky. She’s haunted by something that keeps her in her room, although I don’t know what.
My throat is dry as I pass him the phone, my palm feeling sweaty and my nerves making me nearly regret showing it to him. Zander takes more than a moment to look over it, his eyes moving slowly across the screen before passing my phone back. “That’s beautiful, Arianna,” he compliments me, a note of respect entering his voice. “You’re very talented.”
“It’s a little…” I trail off as I try to think of the right word to defend it before he can question it, but he fills in the word for me.
“Haunting,” he says and his voice is firm. “It’s in her eyes.”
I nod my head, not trusting myself to respond verbally. “It really speaks to how well you’re able to paint emotions. Not everyone can do that.”
I blush furiously at his praise, my self-confidence rising several notches. “Thank you,” I say softly.
The waiter returns with both of our plates and I’m shocked to see how quickly time has gone by. The smell of sweet butter and herbs wafts toward me, and my mouth waters.
We’re both quiet as the meals are set in front of us, although I notice Zander checking his phone.
“Is everything alright?” I ask him when we’re alone again.
He gives me a smile, picking up his utensils and answers, “It’s perfect.”
Chapter 13
Zander
I’m rewarded with a small smile as I set my hand on Arianna’s thigh as I readjust in my seat in the back of the Mercedes. I wonder if she’s ever been treated this way before. It’s not so difficult. A sweet gesture here and there, and alone time over a nice meal.
“I had a really nice time,” she says so quietly I almost don’t hear her. But then she clears her throat and looks up at me through thick lashes and speaks more clearly, “It was more than I expected, thank you.”
But the way she’s acting, it’s as if she’s never been fed. Like she’s never been told that she’s beautiful.
It’s hard to believe it’s true.
“Thank you for accompanying me,” I tell her as the car slows down in front of her house.
I expected dinner to be filled with uncomfortable silence, but there wasn’t a moment that conversation didn’t happen easily and naturally. “We have a dinner this weekend as well.”
“Another?” she says and her voice brightens and forces a small laugh from me.
“Yes, you may find it hard to believe, but I eat almost every day. Sometimes several times a day.” The joke comes out easily and makes her smile. That sweet one that shows she’s honestly happy. It warms my chest to know I put it there.
As Marcus stops the car, I’m quick to open my door and wait for his eyes to catch mine in the rearview mirror. I’ve got her from here. He stays in his seat as the car remains in park and I quickly shut my door and move to hers to help her out.
“I’m excited to do this again,” she says with a sweet smile. She brushes a stray strand of hair from her face as the wind blows by and goosebumps grow along her arms. “Thank you... again,” she says for at least the fifth time and this time rolls her eyes recognizing how absurd it is that she keeps thanking me. If nothing else, Arianna is full of gratitude and not afraid to show it.
“I am as well.” I walk her up to her steps and stop, making sure that she knows I have no intention of going in. It’s not about sex. I don’t want her to feel pressured and judging by the soft look on her face, she’s not in the least.
She turns on the first step, and rocks on her heels as she asks, “This weekend?”
I nod my head and answer, “Four days.”
“Will I see you before then?” she asks me. There’s a flash of hope in her eyes and I’m not sure if it’s because she wants to see me, or if she thinks she won’t have to be with me again until this weekend.
“I have a good bit of work to do,” I tell her, although in the back of my mind I can’t help but to think I’ll have time in the evening. Late evening. She could always come and warm my bed. I brush off the thought but the hint of disappointment in her voice as she answers, “Oh, okay,” makes me want to offer it to her.
Maybe not this week, but next.
“I’ll be calling you. And you can do the same if you’d like. I’ll message you if I think of anything,” I tell her without thinking. I have no fucking reason to call her whatsoever, but just the offer brings that beautiful smile back to her face.
She tucks her hair behind her ear. “I’ll call you then,” she says and closes her eyes and shakes her head slightly. “Or you call me. I’ll wait,” she adds, then nods her head, looking so serious. “I’ll wait for you to call me.”
A rough chuckle rises up my chest as I lean forward and give her a chaste kiss goodbye. “Alright then, sweetheart.”
Even in the darkened night, I can see that blush on her cheeks as she turns to go upstairs.
“Oh, Miss Owens,” I call out her proper name, reaching forward and grabbing her hand in mine. “I had a package delivered for you,” I say and pull her closer to me, and she doesn’t resist my touch. I wrap my arms around her waist, letting them rest on the lower part of her back, dangerously close to her ass.
Although her eyes dart from my cheek up to my own, she doesn’t push me away. I can see how her chest is rising and falling with quicker breaths now, and I fucking love it. I’m addicted to the way I so easily affect her.
“You did?” she asks with equal amounts of surprise and delight in her voice. The streetlights shine down on her in a way that casts shadows along the soft curves of her face. She looks up at me and all I can see in her green eyes is sincerity. I could get lost in the swirls of deep jade that shine back at me.
“I did,” I say before I quickly kiss her lips. The kiss is soft and easy and I need to keep it that way.
It was only one night. An evening just to get to know her, just an interview, but I can feel it turning into something more. A desire for something I shouldn’t want.
The reminder of why I’m holding her in my arms, why all of this is even happening is enough to break the spell of her hopeful gaze.
She’s temporary. And a mistake I’m merely trying to fix. The knowledge makes my smile slip, but it’s instantly replaced by the one I hate.
“I’ll see you this weekend.” I deliver another small kiss to the tip of her nose and step out of her embrace. She doesn’t seem to notice my change in demeanor. “If you need anything in the meantime, you’ll let me know.”
“Of course,” she replies and bats her eyes, moving the clutch from one hand to the other. “Really, and truly. Thank you for tonight, Zander.” Her voice is so full of happiness, that I find my reasons for leaving so quickly disappearing into the dark night. But she turns from me before I can go back to her, her hips swaying and taunting me as she walks closer to the front door and grips the railing.
As I watch her walk up the steps, those gorgeous curves tempting me as the soft sounds of the night air swish by and make her dress cling to her, I finally answer her beneath my breath. “My pleasure, sweetheart.”
Chapter 14
Arianna
My pleasure, sweetheart.
Zander’s words linger in my mind as I step into my shared apartment and gently close the door behind me, feeling a heavy mix of emotions coursing through my chest. Zander has been such
a gentleman. It was so unexpected; I don’t know how to process it. It’s hard not to feel butterflies, even knowing it’s all fake.
I suck in a heavy breath, remembering how it felt to be held in his arms at the end of dinner. Zander made me feel special, like I was the only woman in the room. And even though I felt unworthy to be there with him, I wanted it to be real. I wanted desperately to think that he truly wanted me beside him.
It felt like that. It felt real.
I run my finger down the side of the package that was left for me. It’s not hard to imagine that it’s a dress for this weekend. The white box is large, yet light. My heart beats with anticipation to open it.
I spin around when I hear Natalie’s shocked voice.
“Jesus Ari, what are you dressed up for?” She walks into the living room and adds, “You look beautiful!”
Natalie’s in her favorite pair of pink polka dot pajamas, a half-finished cup of Greek yogurt in her hand, her jaw hanging slack. The television’s on and running in the background, playing some rerun of one of the Real Housewives reality TV shows she likes to watch.
She sets her yogurt down on the end table next to the couch and walks over to inspect my dress.
My tongue is tied. I don’t know how to tell her the truth. It all feels… dirty. “I was out with a friend,” I lie.
Natalie studies me suspiciously. “What sort of friend? And since when do you go out dressed like that for a friend?” Although she’s practically interrogating me as she crosses her arms, she has the hint of a smile playing on her lips.
I’m unable to answer her question. The butterflies fluttering in my stomach want to tell her about tonight. About dinner and how Zander treated me, but it’s not real and it’ll only complicate things to involve anyone else. Plus, I'm not sure what I'm allowed to reveal given the non-disclosure agreement I signed at Club X. I really wish she would stop prying. It puts me in such an uncomfortable position. She peers closely at me when I don’t answer right away. “And what’s this…” her voice trails off as if she realizes something. “Wait a minute… you weren’t out there with Danny, were you? Is that why you don’t want to tell me what’s going on? 'Cause you told me you were taking a break with him, and you’re really not?” Her voice raises, and the smile vanishes.
I roll my eyes at where her mind goes, holding the package a bit closer to me. I wish it were that simple.
Natalie persists, insisting, “I know you were with someone. I can smell cologne on you.”
“It wasn’t with Danny,” I say.
Natalie presses. “Who then?”
I grit my teeth, wishing I didn’t have to do this. “I can’t say. Just a friend.”
Natalie scrunches her face into a frustrated scowl. “You know what? Your sudden secretive ways are really starting to get to me.”
I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, Nat. I just don’t want to say anything right now.”
Natalie places her hands on her hips. “Well, when will you be able to say anything then? The suspense is killing me.” She lightens the mood by exaggerating her last line and moving to snatch her cup of yogurt up again.
I remain tight-lipped. “I don’t know. Soon.”
Natalie stares at me for a long moment before letting out a resigned sigh and taking a spoonful of yogurt. “Okay. I’m going to let you off the hook for now. But can you promise me one thing?”
I’m on edge. “What?”
“Don’t see that piece of shit Danny ever again, pretty please?”
“He’s not a piece of shit,” I say reflexively. I don’t know why I say that. Everything Danny has done to me recently leading up to the auction says he is. And after what Zander told me, I should never want to see him again. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t get over what he did for me.
He saved me. I really wanted to kill myself. I would have if he hadn’t stopped me.
Natalie’s jaw drops. “Are you kidding me? He beat the hell out of you for the past couple of months, and now you're defending him? What the hell is wrong with you?”
God, I don’t want to fight. I toss the package down feeling like I’m in a no-win situation. But it's a tight spot that I put myself in. I seriously want to go into my room and curl up into a little ball. “Please, Nat,” I plead, “I’m tired and don’t want to talk about this right now.”
Natalie stares at me long and hard, before finally shaking her head. “Fine. But I don’t think I’ll ever understand this relationship you have with him, and I don’t think I ever want to.” My throat feels tight as I take in her words. I didn’t ask for her support and I understand that she doesn’t like it, but it still hurts. “I’m going to bed. Don’t forget to turn the lights off.”
She disappears down the hall, leaving me alone.
I suck in a heavy breath as tears sting my eyes, my gaze going down to the package sitting on the sofa. I feel like crap having to lie to Natalie, but I don’t know what else I can do.
Sighing, I slump down on the couch, running my fingers over the package.
I tear it open and stare in shock at what’s inside. It’s a beautiful gown, a white sparkly number, with glittering rhinestones that shimmer like diamonds. I run my fingers over the exquisite tailoring, thinking that it’s the nicest gift anyone has even given me.
But just like tonight, just like the butterflies in my stomach, it’s a lie.
I cover the dress up with the thin piece of white tissue paper and let my head fall back against the sofa.
None of this is real, and I need to protect myself and remember that.
Chapter 15
Zander
I turn down the radio as I pull off of the highway heading down to Arianna’s place. It’s nearly eight on a Friday, but it’s the only night I can make time for her.
My turn signal clicks as I turn onto her street and remember the article in the paper this morning. It’s nothing huge, and I doubt Arianna’s read it. The picture of her is perfect, capturing the moment and sending the message that I’m no longer on the market. She may never even know about it unless she searches her name or someone points it out to her.
I want to be the one to show her. I can’t wait to see her reaction when she sees. Although it does say, “mystery woman.” The next one will have her name; I made sure of that.
I pass a row of condominiums. I hate this area in the city. The brick is old and worn, and graffiti covers half the buildings. She doesn’t belong here. I grip the steering wheel tighter as I park out front of her building and look up to her apartment window. The lights are on.
It’s a weird feeling, something like nervousness as I pull out my phone. It doesn’t make sense, and I ignore it as I text her that I’m outside. I stare up to her window, waiting for a response. I let out a small laugh as I see her pull the curtains back to look outside.
The phone pings as I open my car door and I glance at it to see what she’s said as I jog up the stairs. Come on up.
My heart flutters as I walk into the warmth of the building and see her standing in her open doorway.
“Hi,” she says sweetly as she opens the door wider and bites her lower lip.
Her nightgown looks nothing like what I’d expect on her. It’s a simple cotton thing, so thin that I can see the outline of her nipples. It’s the colors that I don’t expect. Patches of bright and neon colors.
“It’s my roommate's,” Arianna says, answering the unspoken question. She shrugs slightly before saying, “It’s laundry day.”
I turn to take her in, and something shifts. The flutters in my stomach turn to stone as she crosses her arms across her chest and avoids looking at me.
That smile I’ve been thinking about for the past few days, the one that’s invaded my every waking moment, is nowhere to be seen.
“How are you?” I ask her out of curiosity as I walk into her apartment.
“Fine, how are you?” she answers with a politeness I’ve come to expect from her.
“Alright,” my
answer is a bit absent as I glance around her place. I’ve never seen the inside before. The walls are an off-white, typical in apartments, but there are so many photos on the wall that color the room. On the far wall of the living room there have to be at least thirty photos, all framed and hung in the shape of a heart above a lime green Ikea sofa littered with pillows in different colors. It takes me by surprise.
“Those are Natalie’s,” Arianna says and nods toward the living room.
“Ah,” I walk in a few steps and lean against the banister.
“I didn't expect you,” Arianna says in a way that makes it obvious she’s uncomfortable with me dropping by unannounced like this. She tucks her hair behind her ear as she looks past me and back into the living room as she says quietly, “I would have cleaned up.” Her entire demeanor has changed since I saw her last. My heart feels heavy in my chest, as if it’s falling, it’s an unnatural feeling, something I’m not used to.
“I thought I would surprise you,” I tell her. “I wanted to make sure you got your dress.”
I expect a smile, but instead she only nods and answers respectfully, “I did, and it’s beautiful. Thank you so much.”
My heart thuds once, then twice. Maybe this was a mistake. I run my hand through my hair, not knowing what the fuck to do. I don’t have a significant other for a reason.
“I’m sorry,” Arianna’s voice comes out small. “I should have texted you to thank you.”
My gaze travels over her entire body. She’s uncomfortable, but presenting herself. Just like the auction. There’s a small bit of paint on her elbow, and at first it looks like a bruise, but it’s definitely paint.
“Have you done any more artwork?” I ask her, trying to change the subject. I can’t leave her feeling like this. The gala is tomorrow and I don’t trust whatever’s going on in her head right now.
She nods her head, a bit of brightness lighting her dark green eyes. It makes my lips kick up into a smirk. “Let me see,” I tell her.
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