Found And Lost

by Deanna Hall

  At first, Mia was blushing. I kept singing along while I looked in her eyes. Finally, as the words sunk in, I was rewarded with that brilliant smile. She relaxed against me, letting herself go.

  “I wanna lay down each evenin'; With you right, here by my side, I wanna get drunk on your laughter, And wipe all the tears when you cry, You can scare me with your darkness, You can blind me with your light, Throw your worries out the window, baby, On your wildest night, Hold on to me when your, world's turnin' cold, When it feels like your life's spinnin' out of control, You're hopin', prayin', tryin' so hard to believe, Hold on to me when there's no middle ground, And every emotion is comin' unwound, And you don't know if you can hold on to your dreams, Baby, you can hold on to me, Hold on to me when there's no middle ground, And every emotion is comin' unwound, And you don't know if you can hold on to your dreams, Baby, you can hold on, I said, "Baby, you can hold on, I said, Baby, you can hold on to me.”

  We were dancing and spinning around the floor like we’d been dancing together our whole lives. Mia was graceful, following my every move perfectly. When I’d spin her away, her dress twirled around, revealing more of her shapely legs. The florescent lights glinted off her copper hair, making it shine. She was so gorgeous I couldn’t look away.

  Evidently, neither could anyone else. Everyone had stopped dancing and were watching us. Mia didn’t even notice as she stared into my eyes. As the song ended, I dipped her, bending over her then back up. The crowd that had gathered starting clapping while Mia turned about fifty shades of red. I hugged her, whispering. “That’s our song, Mia. I love you so much.”

  Ignoring the crowd, Mia kissed me then said the words that made my heart leap for joy every time I heard them. “I love you too, CJ.”

  At that point, the night was just about perfect. Then, as we walked back to our seat, it went straight to hell, along with my life. I heard a familiar voice say, “Wow, I don’t remember you dancing with me like that.”

  Penny, my ex, came sauntering over to our table, hips swaying provocatively. Joining us, uninvited, she leaned in, giving me a big kiss on the mouth before I could stop her. “Hey lover, I’ve missed you.” She eyed Mia up and down. “Whatcha been up to, besides trying to forget me? Which we both know is impossible.” Great, just what I needed.

  I felt Mia’s stiffen. Her hand gripped the chair. Her reaction was about as evolved as mine had been with Peter. “Hey, Penny. This is Mia. Mia, Penny.”

  Mia said, “Nice to meet you, Penny.” Penny ignored her.

  “You know me, Penny, just working the ranch you hated. How about you? When did you get back from Denver?” I asked sullenly.

  “Last night. I was going to call you then I remember the annual dance was tonight and decided I’d surprise you. Do you like my dress? I picked it out just for you. It’s your favorite color.”

  Penny was wearing a tight, red, strapless dress. She was pretty enough, tall, slender, shapely with bleached blonde, shoulder-length hair, and blue eyes. I guess some would think she was beautiful as long as she wasn’t standing next to Mia.

  We’d been pretty serious. We dated my whole senior year, and hers. We were even talking about marriage at one point. Penny didn’t want to, and I quote, “Spend the rest of her life in our hick town, on my stupid ranch.” When I refused to go to Denver with her, we broke up. She’d been gone almost a year now. Just my luck, our old song, “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow,” came on.

  Penny started dragging me out to dance. “You don’t mind if I steal your date, do you?” Penny cooed at Mia. I started to refuse; however, despite the jealousy, I felt radiating off Mia, she insisted I go. “Go, I want you to. I shouldn’t be the only one having fun.”

  Pete added, “I got you covered, Cuz.” Wonderful, I thought to myself as Pete led Mia onto the dance floor. Mia had danced all the slow songs with me, yet she didn’t hesitate to let Peter led her off for this one.

  Penny pulled me into a tight embrace as we danced, resting her head on my shoulder. I barely noticed. I was too intent on watching Mia and Pete. Penny turned my head to look at her. “What’s the deal with you two? You just doing your hero complex thing, or is there something going on between you two.” Penny asked.

  “Yes, there is,” I answered distractedly.

  “Well, I came home to tell you, after our weekend together, I realized I made a huge mistake. I don’t want to be anywhere you aren’t. I’ve missed you so much, CJ. I love you. When you came to Denver and asked me to come home and marry you, I made the wrong choice. If you still want to marry me and live here, I accept.” Penny told me.

  My attention had already drifted back to Mia and Peter. Her words went in one ear and out the other without even registering. Mia was looking up at Peter intently, laughing and smiling. He was holding her way to close. When she danced with the other guys, she couldn’t keep her eyes off me. Now she hadn’t even glanced my way once. “Whatever, Penny,” I muttered, not even sure what Penny had said.

  Penny leaned up, kissing me passionately. Of course, that was when I felt Mia’s eyes on me. “I knew you still loved me. You won’t regret this, CJ. I’ll make you the best wife ever.” Penny said, then she walked over to the band.

  I saw her whisper something to the singer before he handed her the mic. “Hey, everybody. You all know me and CJ had been an item for quite a while. Well, I thought city life was what I wanted. I was wrong. They don’t have anything that compares to my home town or my CJ; therefore, I’ve agreed to marry him. As soon as we have all the details set, there will be one hell of a shindig.”

  The crowd starting clapping, all except for my folks, Dan, Claire, Sara, and Charlie, who were all staring at me like I had two heads. I looked to where Mia had been desperate to tell her it was a mistake, only she was gone. Along with my cousin.

  I searched the room as Penny came back, taking my arm. People swarmed us to give their congratulations. I couldn’t see Mia anywhere. Excusing myself, I pushed through the crowd to get outside. I scented the air then followed Mia’s scent to the parking lot. My heart sank as I saw Pete’s car driving away in the opposite direction of the ranch. I’d turned to get my truck, intending to follow them, when Penny walked up.

  “CJ, what are you doing out here? Did you wanna go someplace so I can show you how much I missed you?” She asked as she wrapped herself around me, running her fingers through my hair.

  “Not now, Penny. We need to talk, but I need to find Mia first. She doesn’t know how to handle teenage boys.”

  “I’m sure Pete can teach her. He taught me plenty. He was as good a lover as you. I’m sure Peter will make her a very happy girl.”

  I turned on her, consumed by anger. “Don’t ever say anything like that about Mia again. If Peter lays a hand on her, I’ll kill him.”

  “Why are you yelling at me? You just said you wanted to marry me. Why are you acting like this?”

  “I never said that, Penny. I wasn’t even paying attention to you. I’m going to marry Mia. I love her. I’m sorry I wasn’t listening when you were talking. The next thing I knew, you were announcing our engagement. It was my mistake.”

  “I haven’t been able to forget how good we were together. How wild that last night we shared was. I gave everything up to come home and be with you. I love you, CJ. You said you loved me, too.” Penny demanded.

  I took Penny by the shoulders, looking into her eyes. “That was before you shut me down, again, remember. I swallowed my pride and came after you only to have you refuse my proposal for the third time. Three strikes and you’re out.

  If you’d come home with me, I would have married you. I probably would have been miserable because I would have never met Mia. I never asked you to give up anything for me. I’m sorry, we’re history. Now I need to go.” I stated firmly before I got in my truck and drove off.

  I knew exactly where Pete had taken Mia. The bluff. It was the make-out spot in town. I killed my lights, pulling up slowly next to his car. It was all
I could do to restrain myself when I saw his arms around her. Mia’s head was against his chest. I stalked over, banging heavily on his door. Mia’s head popped up in surprise. Pete rolled down his window. “Hey, man…”

  Then Mia interrupted, “Chase, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your fiancé?”

  Her calling me Chase was a bad sign. “Can we talk? Alone.” Without uttering a word Mia got out, walking around the car.

  She didn’t yell or scream at me. Instead, looking off into the distance, she told me, “Penny is as beautiful as her picture. You two look great together. I’m happy for you. You got your girlfriend back. That’s awesome. You get a happy ending after all. You don’t need to worry about me, Pete said he’d bring me home.”

  I was so angry at Pete for taking advantage of this situation. I hadn’t even noticed the tears Mia was wiping from her eyes. “What the hell are you doing up here with him? You didn’t even give me a chance to explain. You barely know him. It sure didn’t take you long to end up in someone else’s arms, did it?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I saw anger in Mia’s eyes for the first time, along with the tears I hadn’t noticed.

  “How dare you? Peter followed me outside after your big announcement. He was concerned about me, which is more than I can say for you. You could have at least warned me instead of blindsiding me like that. I swallowed every word about being your mate, about how much you loved me, that song, all of it. No wonder you didn’t want to take our relationship too far. You were still pining away for your ex.

  I know I’m naïve, Chase, but I trusted you. Being around you was so amazing; I believed it all. How could I ever have been stupid enough to believe you could love someone like me after having someone like her. Maybe you and Penny can share a good laugh over the poor, naive girl who was so eager I was to fall in love with you.

  I was about to leave when Pete came out and offered me a ride home. I wasn’t ready to go home yet, so I asked him to take me anywhere else. I needed time to pull myself together. Go away, Chase. Go back to Penny!”

  The single streetlight up on the hill was making the moisture in Mia’s puffy, red eyes sparkle. I finally realized Mia had been crying. Pete had been consoling her, nice move Pete.

  When Mia started to turn away, I grabbed her arm. “Mia, I’m sorry. What I said was way out of line. Everything we shared was real. In your heart, you know that. Things with Penny are not what you think. I just want to explain…”

  Mia didn’t let me finish. “There’s nothing to explain. You didn’t know Penny would come back, so you were getting back in the game. I get it. Pete said they call that a rebound relationship. I don’t blame you; you probably thought it was real too. I can feel how sorry you are. There’s nothing else to say.

  Penny’s back, you’re going to marry her, and all’s right with your world. It’s ok, Chase. I never really was good enough for someone like you anyway. I knew that. I was just letting myself believe in fairytales. It was stupid and childish. I, of all people, know fairytale endings aren’t real. Now please, LET ME GO!” Mia said as she pulled away.

  When I started to reach for her again, Pete got out of his car. “I think she said to let her go. You need to back off and give her some space, Cuz.”

  That was the last straw; Mia was mine. There was no way I was going to let my punk-ass cousin leave with my girl. I lunged at him, taking him to the ground, punching him in the face at the same time. Pete was as strong as I was. He quickly rolled over, slugging me back. Werewolf fights are pretty intense, even in human form. Being extra strong, we can take and give a lot of abuse.

  As we fought, Mia pulled us apart, screaming, “STOP IT! Just stop.”

  Peter stepped back, grabbing Mia’s hand. “Let’s go.” I leaped at him, swinging with all my might. Mia jumped in front of Pete just as my fist connected.

  I ended up hitting her instead. As she crumpled to the ground, Pete caught her. I fell to my knees. “Mia, are you all right?” She was out cold, bleeding from the lip and nose. “Oh, God, what have I done.” I cried out as I ripped a piece of my shirt off to press against her bleeding face.

  When we couldn’t wake her up, Peter picked her up, putting her in the car. He gave me a dirty look when I got in beside her but didn’t say anything. As we raced to the 24-hour clinic that served as a hospital for our small town, I called my parents.

  Peter carried Mia in, putting her on a gurney. She was still out when they wheeled her away. The doctor demanded to know what happened. Pete spoke up, “We had an accident. She hit the dashboard.”

  “Right. Was someone’s fist on the dash? I think we’ll let the police sort this out.” They refused to let us follow as they wheeled Mia into an exam room. Pete and I were both pacing when my folks and the whole gang showed up. We were both pretty banged up, making it was clear we’d been fighting.

  “Want to tell us what happened.” My father demanded.

  Before we could say anything, the doctor came out. “She’s awake. She has a broken jaw, nose, and a concussion. Lucky for you, she confirmed your accident story, even if it is bullshit. I wanted to keep her overnight; however, she is refusing to stay. She asked that someone named Peter bring her home.”

  “That’s me,” Pete said.

  “Follow me, please.”

  Pete muttered to me as he walked by, “Tough break, Cuz. You really should learn to control your temper.”

  I lunged after him; only my father grabbed my arm. “Explanation, now!”

  “I got in a fight with Pete. I went to slug him when Mia jumped in the way. It was an accident.”

  I heard Mom suck in her breath. “Accident or not, that’s appalling. You boys know better than to fight. And what about Penny? Have you lost your mind? How could you ask her to marry you again? How could you do that to Mia?” My mother demanded.

  “I didn’t. Penny was rambling on as usual. I wasn’t even paying attention. I guess she said something about getting married. I, I don’t know, she just assumed it. I made a huge mess of everything. Mia wouldn’t let me explain. Peter kept pissing me off. I don’t know how to fix this.” I told them dejectedly.

  “Be honest, then beg Mia to forgive you. You’ll have to give her time to get over being angry. She’s your mate; she’ll understand and forgive you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but your dad and I have had our fights.

  Finding your mate doesn’t mean everything will always be perfect. It just means you love each other enough to work it out. You need time to have that bond grow and strengthen. Mia’s been hurt and alone for a long time, meaning there will be a lot of ups and downs. Mia is very strong yet fragile at the same time.” My mother told me.

  My father just glared at me. “I asked you to watch out for her CJ. I’m very disappointed in you.”

  Ouch. Never once in my entire life had Dad expressed disappointment in me. My father’s silent disapproval felt worse than if he’d yelled at me. Although, the disappointment I felt in myself for letting Mia down was ten times worse.

  Blindsided

  Mia

  When I got back to the house, Peter told me to shift so I’d heal. I did. Peter let me into the loft then followed me inside. I went into the bathroom, changing back. Physically, I was all healed as good as new. Emotionally I felt like a train wreck. After slipping on some clothes, I came back out. “Thanks for all your help tonight,” I told Pete.

  “It was a rough night. Sorry.”

  “It did kinda suck. CJ really hits hard.” What hurt was the hole I had in my chest where my heart had been torn out.

  “Tell me about it. It’s not the first time my cousin and I have come to blows over a girl.”

  “Penny, right?”

  “Yup. That would be the one.”

  “Heck, CJ barely knows me. How could I have been foolish enough to think he could want a girl like me? I’ve lived like a wild animal so long I’m barely more than one. I know nothing about people or how to act around them. Cl
early, he was just rebounding from Penny like you said.”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never seen CJ react like that. Not to mention he left Penny in the lurch to look for you. Maybe you ought to listen to what he has to say. CJ can be bossy and has a high opinion of himself, but he’s a good guy for the most part. I’ve never known him to lie. Anyway, I should get going and let you get some sleep.”

  I hugged Pete, kissing his cheek. “Thanks, Peter.”

  He grinned, “Anytime, Sunshine.” Pete turned to leave, then looked back. “Mia,” He hesitated. I could feel the conflict in him.

  “What is it, Pete?”

  “You’re wrong about him wanting a girl like you. Any guy would be lucky to have you for his girl. You act more human and compassionate than anybody I’ve ever met. If CJ doesn’t know that he’s an idiot.” Pete left before I could respond.

  I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how this had happened. I knew what I felt for CJ was real. It had felt real on his part too. Was I just imagining it because I wanted it to be true?

  Had I miss judged what I felt in CJ that badly? Had I just been filling a void in his life, Penny had left. Was that some of the sadness I’d sensed in him? Maybe he even believed all the mumbo jumbo about the mate thing being a predetermined force of nature. Maybe he thought it was real until Penny showed up, reminding him of what he’d lost.

  Pete had told me all about them. How they had been almost inseparable for two years until she broke his heart. I now understood the kind of pain he must have endured when she left him because this felt almost as bad as when my parents died. I truly wanted to die.

  I knew I couldn’t stay here now. There was no way I could face CJ day after day. Never mind him and Penny together. That I definitely couldn’t handle. Maybe I was being a coward. If I was, so be it. I’d almost had a real home. I was going to miss the friends I’d made here.