by Deanna Hall
Her arms went around me. “It was horrible. There were wolves. They, oh God, they killed, um, someone. Dakota, it couldn’t be just a dream. It was not the kind of thing your imagination makes up. I think it was a memory. It might be why I was running away.”
“I won’t let anyone ever hurt you again, I promise.”
When Miakoda looked up at me, her eyes were haunted and terrified. She whispered, “Would you lay down with me until I go back to sleep.” Without giving it a second thought, I slipped under the blankets pulling Miakoda against me. I could feel her racing heart start to slow down as she snuggled against me. “Thank you.” She said as she drifted off to sleep. I laid there holding her, thinking I could hold this girl in my arms forever.
When I woke up, Miakoda was gone. I found her in the kitchen. She was sitting in the room with Mom, in wolf form. When she walked past me, she rubbed against my leg before she walked down the hall. I noticed she wasn’t wearing a bandage. I looked at Mom. “She’s all healed. Good as new. It’s a remarkable recovery, even for a werewolf.” Mom explained.
Miakoda came out in human form, all smiles, as she ruffled Donnie’s hair. “Hey buddy, thanks for letting me use your room.”
Donnie beamed at her. “Anytime, I got to stay up real late and play video games.”
“I can’t remember if I’ve ever played video games. Would you teach me.”
Donnie was thrilled. “Sure will.”
Miakoda ate two helpings of pancakes and sausage. I couldn’t stop looking at her. She practically glowed with health, from her rosy cheeks to her ruby lips. The thought of kissing them made my mouth water. Did I even have a chance with a girl like her? She almost seemed too perfect to be real.
Dad walked in. “Good Morning, Miakoda, you’re looking much better.”
“I’m feeling much better. Thank you.” She replied with a warm smile that made Dad smile back.
“Dakota, can I have a word with you?” I followed him to his room. My mother joined us. “Your mother and I can’t help but notice your infatuation with our guest.”
I shrugged. “You have to admit there is something special about Miakoda.”
“Your right there is. There is also something you need to know about her.” Dad handed me a copy of an old Arizona newspaper article. There was a picture of Miakoda at a much younger age. The article was titled Missing Girl. Her name was listed as Mia Hathaway. As I read the article, I became acutely aware of why Miakoda was having nightmares.
“Great Spirit Dad, that must have been when Jackson killed her parents? She was there. It says they believe she wandered off after a horrible animal attack, probably in shock or injured, but no one ever found a trace of her. That was five years ago. Where could she have been all this time? How’d she’d end up way up here?”
“Those are excellent questions, Dakota. One’s only Miakoda can answer, I suspect. I guess those answers will have to wait.”
“We aren’t going to tell the authorities we found her, are we? She’s barely seventeen. Her spirit is terrified; now I know why.”
“We have to let them know we found her, Kotah. Nevertheless, she has family here. Unless another family comes forward, this is her real home. I’ll make some calls. I’d like you to take her to meet the Chief when she is feeling up to it.”
“What if the people she’s been living with try convince her to come home? I won’t let them take her, Dad; I can’t.”
Dad gave me a knowing smile. Laying his hand on my shoulder, he said, “Since whomever she has been living with isn’t her biological family, and it appears she might have run away from them, I doubt you have anything to worry about.”
Mom gave me a concerned look. “I knew, as soon as I laid eyes on Miakoda, she was special. She is a Spirit Healer. The first in generations. Miakoda was born to heal our kind, Dakota. We almost lost her. She needs to be better protected. I noticed the way you hover over her. Not to mention the way you look at her. Is there something we should know?”
“I think she might be my mate.” I stated matter-of-factly.
“I suspected as much. Your spirit lights up around her. Keep in mind this girl has been through a lot; this could end in heartbreak for you. I don’t know what she was running from, but it is clear she was on the run. I don’t want you to get involved with her if it means misery for you, Kotah.” Dad nodded in agreement.
“I knew the minute I looked into her eyes; we were meant to be together. I’m a big boy; if I get my heart broken, I’ll survive. I have to act on my instincts. My instincts tell me I am hers if she wants me. I think it’s worth the risk.”
Mom smiled. “I’m very proud of you, Kotah. You have grown up to be a good man.”
“What about this article, should we give it to her? It has a lot of answers to her questions.” Dad asked.
My mother and I both adamantly said, “No!”
Mom clarified, “This accident was probably one trauma too many for her; that’s why she can’t remember. Her spirit is severely damaged. Her mind is blocking what is too painful to remember.
Her memory will return when she is mentally and physically strong enough to handle it. Until then, let’s just make her feel safe and loved.” We all agreed. I burned the article in the fireplace before going to look for Miakoda.
Dakota
Miakoda
The sun felt good as it cast its warmth on my face. Only days before, I’d felt so cold, I thought I’d never be warm again. I was convinced as I lay on that table gazing into Dakota’s eyes for the first time, I was dying.
Now, I was outside playing soccer with Donovan. I wasn’t even sure if I’d ever played soccer before. At any rate, I was thankful the Great Spirit had let such wonderful people, my people, find me, and that he’d spared me.
I was having a great time chasing the ball around the yard with Donnie. Donnie was a cool kid. I enjoyed his company. A little while later, Dakota came out. Just the sight of him took my breath away; he was soooooo handsome. “Feeling up to a ride this morning? Dad wants you to meet our Chief, who is also your great uncle.”
Grinning at him, I answered, “I feel wonderful. Let’s go.” Truth be told, I couldn’t help grinning. Just the sound of Dakota’s voice made my heart beat faster.
Dakota grinned back, with a look that made my knees go weak. “Good, I’ll go get the horses,” he told me.
“Wait, horses? I don’t know if I ever learned to ride a horse.” I informed him.
“Guess we’ll find out. I have just the horse for you.” He brought out a beautiful, reddish-brown paint named Cinnamon. Dakota’s was a black and white paint named Dusk. Once Dakota threw a blanket over the horses back, he laced his fingers together, bent down, and offered me a boost. While giving me a leg up, Dakota explained, “She’s very calm and gentle. When I give you a boost, just swing your leg over. There you go, perfect. Now just relax. Talk to her. Let her get to know you.”
I was all smiles as I leaned over, petting the horse’s neck, cooing to her how pretty she was. She whinnied. I could feel her spirit surround me. She was excited and eager to go for a run. I let my spirit blend with hers, letting her know I was putting my trust in her.
“Okay, now you hold the reins in your right hand. That’s it. Just move them to the left or right a bit when you want to turn. Pull back a little if you want Cin to slow down. A little harder if you want her to stop. Cin is very well trained; it won’t take much effort. She’ll stop if you say whoa and go if you say walk or run. You can give her a nudge with your heels if you want her to go faster.”
“Ok, I think I have it.”
“You can grab her mane if you feel like you need more stability. Mostly just squeeze with your upper leg muscle here.”
When Dakota touched my leg to show where he meant, I felt a jolt of energy pass between us. Startled, I looked down at him at the same time he looked up. I found myself staring into the darkest brown eyes I’d ever seen. Well, as far as I could remember, anyway.
The way he looked at me made my breath catch in my throat. I could easily get lost in the depths of their darkness. I gave myself a little shake. “Anything else I need to know?” I asked breathlessly.
Dakota blinked. “Um, yeah, just become one with the horse. Feel her body under yours. Move with her.” I watched as he jumped over his horse’s back. The muscles in his body tightened as he did. God, he was beautiful. I felt a sudden urge to run my fingers over his firm, well-defined muscles.
When we started to walk the horses, I concentrated on feeling the way Cinnamon’s body moved beneath me. I closed my eyes, relaxing into her stride, letting myself move with her. With our spirits merged, it wasn’t long before I felt so in tune with her, I gave her a small nudge. She started to trot. It took me a bit to settle into her rhythm again. Dakota, who had been riding just in front of me, dropped back beside me.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve done this before; wanna try a slow run.” I smiled, nodding. Dakota took off. I pressed my heels to Cinnamon, and we started to run. It felt wonderful. Almost as good as running the forest. I lost myself in the feel of Cinnamon’s powerful body moving beneath me as I urged her to go faster.
Leaning forward, squeezing with my thighs, I pressed her to go even faster. She was eager to comply. My heart raced with hers. It was the most exhilarating feeling. I loved the feel of the wind blowing on my face. I felt like the wind itself as we blew past Dakota.
He caught up and as we raced down the road. I had laid the reins down, guiding Cinnamon with just my legs. Raising my arms above my head, I laughed gleefully. I felt like Cinnamon and I were one creature.
Dakota leaned over and caught the reins slowing us down. I frowned at him. He explained, “As outstanding as it is to watch you ride, we missed our turn.”
I blushed. “Oops, sorry, guess I got carried away.” I took the reins back up, turning to follow him down a dirt path.
“Miakoda, there is something about yourself you should know.” Dakota went on to explain the whole spirit healer theory.
“Okay, I know I’m the crazy person, who can’t even remember my own name, but I think you all have lost your minds. I’m no spirit thingy. I’m as far from special as you can get. I can’t heal anyone. I can’t even heal myself. You know more about my life than I do. Dakota, I know we’re Indians and have lots of legends and all, but you don’t really buy into this mystical mumbo jumbo, do you?”
Instead of answering my question, he asked, “What can you sense about me?”
I closed my eyes, letting myself feel his presence. I found I could indeed sense his spirit. It was glowing, bright, and warm. Honestly, it was as bright as a star. “Confidence, compassion, warmth.” I opened my eyes, looking at him intently. “You’re kind of remarkable actually. I don’t sense any unhappiness or darkness of any kind. You’re a very giving person. However, I don’t need any magical powers to know that. All I have to do is look in your eyes. It’s right there for anyone to see.”
Dakota looked at me, quizzically, “Do you really see all those things in me, Nuttah.”
I blushed. “Yes.”
“I do believe all that mystical stuff. You see, I am a spirit walker. Though I can’t heal a damaged spirit, I can see them. Your spirit is wounded. In order for you to reach your full potential, your spirit will need to mend itself.”
I was mesmerized by Dakota’s words. “Can you see what I need to heal?”
Dakota watched me intently. “You need to feel safe; you need to learn to love yourself and feel joy. You can give compassion, though you have received very little of it lately. You need to receive it as much as you need to give it. You need to find your inner strength; you have more than you know.”
Suddenly I felt exposed and uncomfortable. Looking away, I replied, “It’s hard to value yourself when you don’t even know what kind of person you are.”
“Your spirit is beautiful, Miakoda, just broken.” Dakota jumped off his horse, walking over to my side. He looked up at me with a look that promised unbridled passion. “I think that’s why you were led to me. I think I can help you heal.”
“I don’t think …” Before I could finish, Dakota put his hands around my waist, lifting me off Cinnamon. His hands were large and powerful. They wrapped all the way around my waist. His muscles barely bulged as he lifted me off, Cinnamon. He stared into my eyes so intently I was speechless, as he set me on my feet. My heart was thundering so hard in my chest I thought it might explode.
Once my feet touched the ground, Dakota leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. Fire tore through me. I could feel the wolf in me, reaching for him, pulling him close as I felt myself wrap my arms around him involuntarily. As the kiss deepened, I felt like I was drowning in a lake of burning desire.
I felt like I was being sucked under it, yet I was unable to fight my way to the surface. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to. My fingers tangle in Dakota’s long, silky, black hair, pulling his head closer as our tongues searched each other desperately. Eventually, we reluctantly broke apart. The look in his eyes made me tremble.
Suddenly I felt panicked. I pushed away from Dakota, as the urge to run almost overwhelmed me. I searched my surrounding. I felt a desperate need to get away from this tall, dark warrior, even if I didn’t know why. Dakota must have sensed I was ready to bolt because he held my shoulders firmly.
“Miakoda, why do you want to run from me.”
My breath was coming in gasps, my heart pounding even harder in my chest, as panic set in. “You frighten me. I don’t want what I see in your eyes. I’m supposed to be alone. I don’t want to hurt you.” I blurted out.
“You will never hurt me,” Dakota assured me.
“Yes, I will. I hurt everyone I love, and they hurt me. I can’t go through this again. I don’t remember why; I just know my other life was too painful. Please, Dakota, let me go. I feel you tugging at my heart already, and it scares me to death.”
Rather than release me, Dakota grinned. Staring at him incredulously, I asked, “I just told you, you scare me. Why are you smiling?”
“You also admitted your heart recognizes me as mine does you.”
My panic disappeared as quickly as it had come. I punched Dakota in that spot on the arm that gives you an instant Charlie horse. “Ow!” Dakota exclaimed with a laugh as he rubbed his arm. “Feel better?”
I couldn’t help smiling at him. “Yes.”
I jumped back on my horse. The rest of the way, we chatted about life here in Sioux territory. I found out he was home for the summer from his third year of Veterinarian School. Apparently, thanks to the college courses Dakota had taken in high school, he was able to go directly into vet school and was in his final year at a mere twenty-one. He told me he’d always loved and had a soothing effect on animals.
He worked in the summer, breaking and training horses. Mostly the difficult ones no one else could handle. Color me impressed. I also learned his mom was the reservation doctor, and his dad was chief of the tribal police, as well as pack beta.
Soon enough, we arrived at my great uncle’s house. He was a stern-looking, albeit, ruggedly attractive man for his age. He stood looking me over from head to toe. I was starting to feel very self-conscious by the time he spoke.
“I am Chief John Whitecloud, your grandfather’s brother. You have the look of your father; there is no doubt you are his child. Welcome home, Miakoda Whitecloud. Would you care to learn about your heritage and see pictures of your family?”
“I would like that very much,” I answered.
Dakota tied up the horses, then we followed us inside. My uncle told me about tribal history as well as the packs. I found out the pack, which was once one of the largest in the country, had dwindled to seventy-four members as many of the youth had left the reservation or died during the first shift.
The Chief got out an old photo album, showing me pictures of my grandfather and him through the years. Then one of my grandmother. She had been beautiful. She had pale blonde
, almost white hair, light blue eyes, and fair skin.
“Though your grandfather and I competed for her affection, there was no doubt he was her mate. He was madly in love with her and never able to accept her loss. In the end, he killed himself.” John explained.
“She wasn’t Indian?” I asked.
“Not in the true sense, though many believe all American Indians descended from the Vikings. Etu was from a Norwegian pack. In the nineteen sixties, we had a great clan gathering from all around the world. Many warriors found mates among other clans.
Then my uncle showed me a boy, about fourteen or fifteen, who had my eyes and hair color. “Your father, Wildfire, returned to us at fifteen. He met your mother, Honiahaka, at a gathering of the tribes and fell hard. When he was forbidden by her father to pursue her, he left the pack going out on his own.
The pull was strong between them. Your mother ran away and found him. They fled the area in hopes of never being found. Your father would contact Dakota’s father every so often with an update. They went by the names Rowan and Hana Hathaway then.
Wildfire was very happy when you were born. Your Indian name, Miakoda, means power of the moon. Your proper last name Is Whitecloud. Your grandfather Jackson, a cruel man, hunted them down. He informed us the entire family was deceased.
Had we known you’d survived, we would have brought you home. I am sorry you were left without any of your family to care for you. You may keep that picture if you like.” I had a lump in my throat as I gazed at the picture of my dad. I could only nod. I wanted to remember him so badly. Dakota took my hand in his, giving it a squeeze.
“Niece, Dakota’s father, has found you went missing from Arizona five years ago, at precisely the time of your parent's demise. It is our wish that you remain here with your family. The Great Spirit has brought you back to us because this is where you belong.”