Ares wanted to take it.
But he couldn’t.
Keras’s gaze drilled into him as Ares backed off a step, placing more distance between them. He didn’t look at his brother, couldn’t take his eyes off Megan as tears filled them.
And filled hers.
She shook her head, sent them tumbling down her cheeks. Tried to lunge for him but his mother took one look at him and seized hold of her shoulders, keeping her in place.
Megan jerked backwards, trying to dislodge Persephone. She clutched her belly and she shook her head again, sending more tears chasing down to her jaw.
He swallowed to dislodge the lump in his throat and husked, his voice tight as tears choked him, “Keep her safe.”
“No.” Megan tried to break free of his mother.
Managed it this time.
She hurried to him and his heart broke when she gripped his arms, when he felt the panic mounting in her.
“I don’t want to stay here.” Her eyes darted between his, the tears that filled them ripping at him.
Tearing down his strength.
“Don’t make me stay here.” Her brow furrowed as she looked up at him, as her belly pressed against him and she held his arms. “I don’t want to be away from you. I can’t do this without you.”
Ares wavered.
Steeled himself as he blinked and cleared his vision, sending hot tears down his cheeks.
He slid his hand around her nape and pressed his forehead to hers, wished with all his heart that he could do as she wanted.
But he couldn’t.
“I need to know you’re safe,” he croaked and clutched her to him. “Sweetheart… this kills me too.”
She shook her head and dug her fingertips into his arms, desperately clinging to him. “I’m a healer. You need me. Don’t do this! Please, don’t do this. Don’t leave me.”
He cursed the tears as they flowed down his cheeks, couldn’t stop them no matter what he tried. He dipped his head and kissed her, long and slow, savouring the feel of her lips against his as she kissed him back, as she clung to him. When it became too much, he tore himself away from her.
Megan stared at him, the pain in her eyes calling to him, making him want to give in and let her have her way, because he hated seeing her cry.
He hated hurting her.
Persephone came forwards and gently took hold of her shoulders.
He stepped forwards again and placed his hand on Megan’s belly, smiled as she placed hers over it and looked up at him, a flicker of understanding dancing among the pain in her dark eyes. She hated that he was doing this, was going to be angry with him for a while, but when she calmed down, she would understand why he’d had to do it, and she would know how much it had hurt him as well as her.
He felt as if he was ripping his own heart out of his chest as he looked into her eyes.
Severing a vital part of himself by leaving her here.
“I love you both,” he whispered. “Won’t be long.”
Words he had said to her countless times whenever he’d had to leave her over the last couple of months as her pregnancy had progressed and the need to protect her and remain with her had grown stronger.
He waited, desperate for her to respond as she always did, to show him that she understood and to give him the strength he needed to do this.
And something to keep him going while they were apart.
She broke free of Persephone, tiptoed and grasped his nape.
“I love you too,” she breathed against his lips.
And kissed him.
A kiss he would never forget.
Full of hurt, full of hope.
Full of love.
And a plea to come back to her.
He swore that he would.
He stepped back from her.
“Are you really going to do this?” Keras murmured.
Ares nodded, but didn’t have the strength to leave.
Keras took the decision out of his hands, gripped his wrist and pulled him into the portal. The moment it closed behind him and he felt the connection between him and the Underworld sever, he sank to his knees on the tatami mats.
“What’s wrong?” Esher rose from the couch and hurried towards him, the rest of his brothers and their women doing the same.
Ares stared at the mats, unable to muster his voice as his heart ached, as the need to force Cal to open another portal tore through him. He lifted his hand and swiped the back of it across his cheek, sniffled like a damned girl as he thought about Megan, as that need to return to her pounded inside him.
“Megan?” Esher’s gaze darted from him to Keras. “Did something happen?”
Ares drew down a deep shuddering breath, aware that he needed to answer his brother because if he didn’t Esher was liable to believe something bad had happened to her and the baby, and he would go off the deep end again.
“No,” Keras said for him, his tone soft, calming. “Ares decided it was best Megan remain in the Underworld with Mother and Father.”
“I just want her safe,” Ares croaked.
He just wanted her at his side, but he couldn’t let her remain in this world where she would be in danger, and he couldn’t remain in the Underworld with her. He had a duty to do. His brothers needed him in this fight.
Keras placed a hand on his shoulder, and it was weird that he could do that now, could touch him without fear of Ares’s fire burning him thanks to the spell Cass had woven into the bracelet he wore with his limiters. That spell gave him control over his fire, made it easier for him to keep it in check in this world.
Although, that control still slipped from time to time.
He looked up at his brother, his aching heart warming as he saw the concern in Keras’s green eyes and the need to support him, to be there for him.
Ares nodded, silently thanking his brother. He needed all the strength he could get right now, and was grateful that Keras had helped him with the hardest part of leaving Megan.
He was grateful to all his brothers and their women as they gathered around him. Marek helped him back onto his feet, and Aiko wrapped him in a tight hug that had Esher growling at him. Daimon came to him and gripped his shoulder, offered a smile that said he was there for him.
“I can probably put together a spell that would allow you to see each other, although I would need to enter the Underworld to set it up on that side too. Like a magic mirror.” Cassandra’s words were a balm to his heart, the thought of being able to see Megan whenever he needed to soothing some of the hurt.
“She’d like that,” he husked, struggling to deny another wave of tears.
“I can cast a portal so you can visit her,” Cal said.
Ares nodded. “I’d like that… but I don’t want you tapping yourself out.”
Using his favour mark to create a portal was draining for Cal, and he needed his brother strong, didn’t want to be responsible for anything that might happen to him because he had weakened himself by casting portals for him to visit Megan.
Cal shrugged, lifting the hem of his black T-shirt. “Whenever you want one, you’ve got one. Okay?”
He nodded again.
Noticed that Enyo had remained at a distance, near the end of one of the couches, and looked unsure what to do.
Megan had filled him in on what had happened when he had come around, and he couldn’t deny that he hadn’t been happy about what Enyo had done, or her timing, but as he looked at Keras, he could see a glimmer of the man he had been back in the Underworld.
So he wouldn’t hold it against her.
Keras’s gaze shifted to the goddess, a light entering his green eyes, warmth that Ares hadn’t seen in a long time, not since they had left the Underworld.
It felt good to see his brother happy again.
Now he just wished the two of them would quit dancing around shit and get together.
Maybe he could help a little there, could bring Enyo into the insanity that was his ever-growi
ng family and make her feel at home.
And give his brothers a reason to stop ragging on her about what she had done.
“Enyo.” Ares jerked his chin, beckoning her.
It probably wasn’t wise to treat her like someone who should obey his commands, but he was too tired to go to her, didn’t trust his legs right now.
Her jade eyes widened.
She looked as if she wanted to point at herself to check it really was her that he was asking to come to him.
He arched an eyebrow at her.
She moved forwards, hesitantly at first, casting wary looks at his brothers.
Ares could only imagine how they had treated her while Keras had been away. One of them must have said something, because it wasn’t like the goddess to be this sheepish.
He had seen her kick Keras’s arse on numerous occasions in the Underworld.
His brothers were no match for her.
It dawned on him that she was holding back around them because she wanted them to accept her.
Well, that only made him want to do this even more.
When she reached him, he kept his focus on her, shutting out his brothers.
“I have a favour to ask.” He ran a hand around the back of his neck. “And I don’t want to hear a no from you.”
Her black eyebrows met hard. “Issuing me an order, Ares?”
He shrugged. “More like a request, but one that might appear to be an order if you don’t look at it from the right angle.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “I am listening.”
There was that haughty, take-no-prisoners female he had known growing up. The one who had smacked Keras around in the training ring more times than he could count, had laid him out flat half of those times, and had sent him home with a sparkle in his eyes and a grin plastered to his face every time.
Something Ares had always found disturbing.
Spending the evening with a grinning Keras always felt wrong, especially when his brother hadn’t seemed able to wipe it off his face.
His brother had been one sombre bastard before meeting Enyo, and had returned to being that way after they had come to the mortal world.
He glanced at Keras and caught a familiar twinkle in his green eyes as he watched Enyo. Although, it seemed Keras was slowly turning back into that grinning idiot again. Ares couldn’t blame him. Sometimes he found himself grinning from ear to ear too, smiling as he watched Megan, feeling lost in her and how much he loved her, and how blessed he was to have her.
He knew that when the baby came, the number of times he found himself smiling like a crazy person would only quadruple.
And he wanted that.
He wanted to be able to smile and not worry.
Which was why he needed to ask Enyo for this.
“My favour involves your favour.” And gods, a lot rested on her granting it, he felt that deep in his soul. “I want you to bestow it upon my kid. You’re strong, capable and brave, and no one can fight like you do, and I want to know she’ll be like you. I need to know she’ll have your protection.”
Her eyes widened again, a hint of rose climbing her cheeks. “You really want that?”
He nodded. “You have no idea how badly I want it. A little girl. Shit… I need to know she’ll be safe, able to handle whatever life throws at her.”
He had watched her train Keras. She had been dedicated and thorough, and he knew in his heart that she would take even greater pains in teaching his daughter how to fight, how to protect herself from anyone who meant her harm.
Enyo held her hand out to him. “It would be an honour.”
She smiled, one that lit up her eyes and wobbled a little, telling him how much this meant to her. Her brother had held her back for far too long. It was about time she got to shine, was treated like the powerful goddess she was, not forced to walk in her brother’s shadow as he stole all the glory.
Ares took her hand. “Might hire you as her personal trainer too. Don’t think Dad knows squat about training girls.”
The ground shook beneath his feet.
He wouldn’t take that one back, no matter how many earthquakes his father caused. Hades wanted to treat girls like they were precious and delicate, shielding them from the darker side of the world.
Ares wanted his daughter to be strong, a warrior in her own right. He wanted to know that no male would dare mess with her.
He also wanted her to never date, but that was something he would be discussing with her the second boys went from gross to great.
Which gave him plenty of time to get Hephaestus to forge an unbreakable chastity belt in her size.
“Deal,” Enyo said, her smile growing wider. “Anyone so much as looks at her in the wrong way, they will have to deal with me.”
Ares grinned as relief swept through him, lifting some of the weight from his shoulders, and couldn’t wait to tell Megan that he had secured them the best damned godmother the world had ever known. No one was going to mess with their daughter.
“Ah, and since no one has said it yet and my older brother still seems incapable of putting feelings into words, I’m just going to go ahead and say it.”
He shook her hand.
“Welcome to the family.”
Chapter 16
Keras forced himself to let what Ares had said slide, partly because his brother had just put himself through an ordeal that Keras could feel was still hurting him, and in part because he didn’t want to let his emotions master him.
Even when they wanted to.
He tamped down the urges that flooded him, battling the hunger to lash out at his brother for not only daring to insinuate that he couldn’t control his feelings, but also for the fact he had implied that Keras felt something for Enyo.
Something deep enough that he wanted her to join their family.
Which he did, but it wasn’t his brother’s place to tell her that.
Enyo slipped her hand from Ares’s and glanced at Keras, a blush scalding her cheeks, one that tugged at him, had him aching with a need to go to her and gather her into his arms.
And kiss her.
She was no dainty maiden, didn’t need anyone’s protection, but gods, she looked sweet and innocent, a delicate beauty whenever she blushed like that.
Blushed for him.
He couldn’t remember her ever blushing for another male, not in all the years he had known her. With everyone else, she was the goddess of war. With him, she was the woman locked beneath that armour she wore to protect herself.
The urge to usher her out into the garden so he could finally tell her how he felt was strong, a pressing and demanding need that made it hard to think, hard to focus on anything else.
It took all of his will to keep his mind on the task at hand.
Something that would give Ares the distraction he needed, and might bring the final battle he could feel brewing forward, alleviating the tension that was building inside not only him but all of his brothers, and their women.
He was growing impatient, tired of waiting.
He needed to kick this battle off, and not only because it made strategic sense to force the enemy’s hand right now, not giving them time to build their forces up any more. He needed some action, a good brawl to help him unleash the pent-up energy that was steadily growing inside him, and to help him focus on other things, things that were not black, oval and numbing.
Just thinking about his pills had his stomach cramping, his mind racing to think of every place where he might have stashed some as a backup.
Someone touched his hand.
He blinked and lifted his gaze.
It collided with Enyo’s.
She smiled softly. “Back with us?”
He shook his head and then nodded, and her smile widened.
“Which is it? Yes, or no?”
“Yes.” He ruthlessly shoved thoughts of pills out of his mind, focused on Enyo and her gentle touch, using her as the shield to protect him from the
ravenous hunger that gripped him.
Not for food.
But for the chilling numbness, the freedom from his feelings.
Feelings were a positive thing to have. He told himself that on repeat as he twisted the silver band on his thumb around it, the warm feel of the metal soothing him together with doing this simple action. His thoughts fell into order again, head slowly clearing and the urges fading again.
“You’re getting better at that,” Ares said and Keras glanced at him for an explanation. “Pulling back from the brink.”
It struck him that he was.
Since Enyo had taken matters into her own hands, he had experienced countless moments when the need for a pill had grown too strong, had almost overwhelmed him and sent him into a silent battle against his addiction and the voices that goaded him, that tried to make him believe that it didn’t matter if his family disowned him, or if Enyo turned her back on him.
The pills were all he needed.
The battle to resist that inner voice was steadily growing easier to win.
And for the first time in a long time, he felt more in control, he felt stronger.
Better about himself.
Enyo didn’t release his hand. She toyed with his fingers, giving him something to focus on as he faced his brothers, helping him keep that voice at bay.
“We should close another gate,” he said.
As predicted, his brothers erupted.
“No. Not a chance in hell,” Ares snapped and looked at the others.
Daimon shook his head and Valen scowled at Keras.
“You crazy?” Cal barked, his eyes stormy, verging on grey rather than blue. “The only gates left are Hong Kong and Tokyo.”
“He’s right. We cannot risk condensing the power spread between the two down into one gate,” Marek put in.
“I could close Hong Kong,” Esher murmured, earning himself a few glares and a black look from Daimon.
“That is not going to happen.” Daimon gripped Esher’s shoulder, hesitantly at first, but tighter once he clearly remembered he could touch without hurting anyone now thanks to the bracelets Cassandra had made for him and Ares.
The black gloves he couldn’t bring himself to take off blended with Esher’s black shirt.
Keras: Guardians of Hades Series Book 7 Page 17