by C. A. Harms
“Jade said you stopped by to see her, does that mean you’re still in town?”
Again I heard noise in the background, rustling of papers, a conversation he was attempting to muffle by possibly covering the receiver of the phone. I waited for him to find the time to continue this conversation, again fighting against the urge to say the things I’d bottled up for so long.
“I leave tonight.” Again he covered the phone and talked to someone else.
Irritation within me grew thicker and I was already climbing up into the cab of my truck. My keys sat in the ignition as I waited for the call to connect to the Bluetooth.
“Business in Berlin.” I’d missed the first part of what he was saying during the connect, but to be honest, I didn’t truly care. All I wanted was five minutes of his time―hell, I would settle for two. Long enough to say what had been on my mind for longer than I could remember and then I’d be out. He didn’t even have to respond, because frankly I couldn’t care less what he felt.
“You got five minutes to say hello?” Keeping the resentment I felt toward my father out of my voice was one of the hardest things to do.
“Don’t you have class?”
“Just finished.” I instantly picked up on his hesitation and I knew it was due to the fact that his buffer, Jade, would not be present. She was a talker and left little time for he and I to converse, which was perfect for him. I wasn’t blinded by him and he knew this. Jade strived for his approval, I welcomed the distance he provided. Hating your father was a difficult thing, but in my defense he never tried to change that, only tried to bury it with gifts and money.
“My flight leaves in a little less than three hours—”
“Perfect, all I need is a few minutes.”
“What is it you need?” His question broke the barrier of my anger.
“I think asking your father for a few minutes of his time shouldn’t be that difficult. I’m sure your newest conquest could spare you for at least that.”
Silence settled between us. I could almost imagine him worrying his lip, something he’d done often when things weren’t exactly going his way.
“I’m staying at the Hilton.” The bastard was only a few miles away and had no intentions of reaching out. “I can meet you in the lounge in fifteen minutes.”
“Maybe you should just meet me outside.” I was sure he didn’t want everyone lingering around to hear what a piece of shit he truly was. “I’ll be there in ten.” Ending the call, I tried to rein in my irritation. With each turn I could feel myself growing more frustrated, which I knew could only end badly.
Pulling up seven minutes later, I parked in the nearest empty space and instead of climbing out I took the few extra minutes to calm myself. Closing my eyes I leaned back, resting my head on the seat behind me. The music still played on the radio, my hand drumming to the beat against my thigh.
When I finally felt like I could maintain some control I opened my eyes and that’s when I saw him. Standing just to the left of the front entrance of the hotel, he was staring straight ahead toward me.
Tall, much like me, with the same sandy blond color of hair. I despised the fact that I resembled him so much. But the alternative wasn’t much of a step up. Both my parents were piss poor excuses of family. Jade was the only true family I had.
With one deep breath I grabbed the handle and climbed out of my truck. Fisting the keys in my hand, they bit into my palm.
My father looked around, almost to ensure he was alone before moving toward me. Pausing near the curb he crossed his arms over his chest. An intimidation tactic that may have worked when I was a child but no longer amounted to anything more than a humorous attempt.
“Jay.”
“John.” A father is someone so much more than he’d ever offered.
“You look well.” This was pathetic. The man had absolutely no idea how to talk to me. He was already struggling after less than a minute. “Jade said you—”
“Why don’t we both stop pretending this is a friendly visit between a father and son?”
“So then what is it?”
“I’ve thought about how this conversation would go so many times.” My head felt like it was spinning. “I’ve gone over it and over it, but in the end I always end up at the same place.”
“What place is that?”
“Disgust.” He narrowed his eyes and again it did absolutely nothing to faze me. “You’ve had so many chances to be better, yet it’s always the same. Blow into town, only to rush out and leave a path of destruction in your wake.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Jade.” She is the only fucking reason I give two shits about any of this. “I’m talking about your daughter.” His eyebrows crease in confusion and I wonder to myself if he really is that oblivious. “Make a choice. Be a father, or just walk away. Playing with her head, making her feel like you care only to be let down time after time isn’t doing her any good. In fact, you’re screwing her up. You’re leading her into the arms of all the wrong kinds of men. She’s out there actively seeking a man who will give her all the things she is missing. Do you even care that the last guy she was with beat her up more than once? But because she didn’t want to be alone she took it, she let him hurt her. Somehow in her warped mind she’d convinced herself that having a man that hurt her was better than having no one at all.”
For a split second he looked remorseful but I didn’t back down.
“Be a father. Ask her about her life, show up when you make plans to, call other than to just apologize for missing a dinner. Stop trying to make everything better by throwing money in our accounts. If you can’t be more than just those things, if you can’t be there when you’re needed, then stop trying at all. Because the disappointment that Jade feels every single time you bail on her is harder than just facing your constant absence. Be a fucking man for once in your life. Be the father she needs, or disappear.”
I didn’t care what he had to say in return. Even as I turned around and began to walk away, I ignored when he called out for me. Because I knew what’s coming, more excuses. And if I had to hear one more I might not be able to stop from knocking him on his arrogant ass. Walking away was better, for his safety anyway. I just hoped that one ounce of what I had to say sunk in.
For my sister’s benefit I hope he heard me. Because I didn’t need him, but for some unknown reason she thought she did.
Chapter Ten
Ruby
It felt nice spending time with Vera, though I’d been doing it secretly. While my father believed me to be studying I was enjoying laughs with her. Pictures of my mother growing up, stories I knew for a fact my father would never have told me. Over the last week I’d laughed to the point of tears, I’d eaten more junk food than any one person should, and I’d watch more bad television than I’d ever imagined.
But I felt alive. I felt like me, like the girl who had been caged up for so long was set free. She’d managed to give me back a part of my mother, and in doing so she woke up the girl I’d hidden away for fear of my father’s disapproval.
Vera and Darcy had become not one but two devils on my shoulders, each ensuring me that the joy I was feeling was okay. Each urging me to continue to live my life the way I should be living it and to break free from the chains my father had me shackled with.
No, as I stood in the center of the two of them and look up at the glowing red sign before me, a little bit of that free feeling fades. “I don’t think I can do this.” I took in a slow, deep breath and I gripped the photo in my hand a little tighter. “I can’t remember ever sweating this much. I’m freaking out here.”
“Well, if you find a master of number ten, you should be sweating a heck of a lot more that you are now.” Vera snickered at Darcy’s comment and I chose to ignore the two of them. I swore they were clones of one another. Get them together and all clarity flies right out the window.
Looking down at the picture in my hand I felt a small sense of
calm. It was a picture Vera had given me of my mom right after she got her tattoo. A heart, not filled in, only a delicate outline. It looked almost graceful, or as graceful as a tattoo can be. So sweet looking, just below the hem of her pants. No bigger than two inches in height and width. It was simple, but perfect.
“You know that if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to?”
“Yeah, we can get a temp and improvise.”
I continued to stare at the sign.
Infinite Ink.
I thought over the person I’d been for the last couple weeks now. I remember the laughs and the freeing feeling that each thing I did on my own felt. Not once did I contemplate the ramifications of my father finding out―in fact, he was the last thing on my mind. I couldn’t remember ever feeling this good, feeling this settled.
“I want to,” and that was the truth. I did. It wasn’t about feeling pressured. It wasn’t even about the list anymore, it was about me. It was about finally being who I wanted to be, living my life how I wanted to live it. “Let’s do this.” With a deep breath in I grabbed the handle and pulled open the door.
The girl behind the counter looked up, a silver ring glimmering in her nose and instantly I admired her. Wild hair, tattoos on her arms, and piercings in not only her nose but her brow too. She was her own person, she was comfortable in her own skin and it was obvious that she owned it.
“So which one of you is getting inked?” She smiled when Darcy commented about how dirty that sounded. Choosing to ignore both crazies that tagged along, I moved close and showed her the picture.
“I want this, just like it, in the exact location.”
“Okay.” She offered me a nod. “I think this is perfect.” And it was, because it was just another thing that made me feel closer to my mom. Closer to the person I knew I was meant to be.
***
“I still can’t believe you did it.” Again Darcy leaned in and looked at not only my tattoo, but the jewel in my belly button too. “You rebel.”
“Why go back later when I was already there?” Plus once I was in the room getting inked by Sonia, the daring tattoo artist, I thought why not.
“Are you sure it didn’t have anything to do with Max?” I spent twenty minutes watching both Darcy and even Vera drool over the piercing artist after I exited the room with him hot on my trail. He was good looking, there was no doubt about that. Dark hair, dark eyes, and those lips. Even I considered knocking off number three on my list when he flashed me that killer smile of his.
But it wasn’t him or even his hands and the idea of them touching me that made me go forward and knock out another item on my list. It was Sonia, and seeing how sexy her own piercing looked.
“Though Max was a master at his art, it was more for me. But feeling him touch me was a pretty great bonus if I do say so myself.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my quiet little virgin friend?”
Ignoring Darcy, I turned from side to side admiring both my tattoo and piercing, feeling more confident than I had in a long time. “I’m still here,” Biting my lip to hide the ever growing smile on my lips I suddenly feel four inches taller. “I’m just tired of hiding.”
1. Rock a pair of heels like the hot girl I am.
2. Get my girlie bits waxed.
3. Share my red lipstick with a gorgeous guy. (That means kiss him)
4. Skip class, because I’m hung over.
5. Forego panties and go dancing in a short dress.
6. Give my number to a random guy.
7. Pick out my favorite nail polish and forget it landed in my handbag while tossing it in the cart. (Shh, it’s not stealing if it’s an accident.)
8. Get a tattoo in a secret hidden location.
9. Pierce something, like a nipple or a further south region.
10. Cash in my innocence, to a well-endowed peer.
Chapter Eleven
Jay
“You’re Jay, right?” The brown-haired beauty asked when she’d finally reached me. Those fuck-me eyes she was giving me made me momentarily lose my mind. So I just nodded. Like a damn adolescent virgin boy, I nodded.
She smiled, leaned in a little closer, and shocked me to my fucking core. “My name is Wren, and call me curious, but I was hoping you’d give me a private showing of your performance last year. Maybe without the streamers of course, I don’t really want anything to obstruct my view.”
She said this as she looked down at my cock, then to top it off she bit her lip and tilted her head just slightly. And again I was fucking speechless.
Maybe getting drunk on tequila and swinging my dick around at a party that over a hundred people were at wasn’t such a bad thing. Or was it?
“What are you drinking?” Wren grabbed my glass and brought it to her lips. “Mm.” The girl didn’t even flinch as the Tequila coated her mouth and slowly made its way down her throat.
I should have been scared of her forwardness, but I was feeling good so why not?
“Let me get you a fresh one and you and I can go somewhere a little more private. Get to know each other a little better.” Again her gaze was averted and I felt my dick harden with anticipation.
***
I woke and attempted to roll over only I couldn’t move. The weight of someone was restricting me. Without opening my eyes, I reached out and immediately my hand came into contact with something solid. Not delicate, not pretty, but thick, and as I continued to explore I grew rigid from head to toe when a displeased groan echoed in the silence.
I was afraid to look, knowing already whatever I see could never be unseen. Somehow I’d managed to convince myself if I could somehow get up, find my clothes and escape, all while my eyes were closed, I could forget about whatever it was that took place. That I didn’t see it for myself so in no way could it be true.
I remembered last night, I remembered the sweet one who walked up and propositioned me without a second of hesitation.
I’d heard of beer goggles, hell, most of my brothers had shared stories of going to bed with a princess and waking up with an ogre, but that shit had never happened to me. And I refused to accept that it had happened to me now.
Gently and with great caution I began to move. Inch by inch, I slid then paused, weighing out the situation, listening for any signs that my unwanted guest was alert before proceeding once more. With one arm stretched outward, I could feel the shaggy carpet beneath my hand, and at this point my body hung half off the mattress. Head down, shoulders off, and my ass teetering on the edge. That moment when things could go exactly how I needed them to or backfire and make all the hard work of a fast break irrelevant.
My shoulders hit the floor, followed by my waist, not gracefully I might add. There I was suspended with my upper half pressed tightly to the floor, bent in the most awkward position. My right leg still remained pinned beneath I swear to fuck someone as big as a gorilla. I had yet to look. All this had been done with my eyes closed so tight it was painful.
I had no idea my body could actually bend at this angle.
One loud groan echoed through the silent room and my stomach flipped. Hell with that, my entire body grew tight, including my ass.
Taking a chance, I jerked my leg out quickly―it was the only thing keeping me suspended in the air. I hit the floor with a thump and again I froze, silently praying that whoever, or should I say whatever it was in the bed above did not wake.
Please, oh God, please.
When it was all clear and I heard no movement, I began to move on hands and knees, only peeking through squinted eyes to search out my clothes. Let’s not forget I was naked with my bare ass extended in the air. Yeah, I didn’t think this thing through clearly.
My hand came into contact with something lacy, and I paused. No fucking way could this lacy red item belong to what I’d felt in bed only moments ago. The instant reminder of my hand sliding over a thick stocky…I shiver at the thought and fight the urge to gag. This cannot be happening.
Holding up the item, I inspect it and sure enough, what I’ve found is a red thong. Sexy little item, barely a sliver of material, and again I wonder if maybe I was wrong. Without a second thought I glanced back over my shoulder and immediately I regretted it. My stomach felt like it was falling out my ass, a nauseated wave of tension knotted my gut.
“No,” I groaned, shaking my head, refusing to accept what I was seeing. “No, no, no! What the fuck? Chastising myself for looking, I knew immediately that what was permanently imbedding in my brain would haunt me every day for the rest of my life.
A big burly dude with a hairy back, and a hairy ass all on display like a beacon refusing to allow me to forget it was there. My chest ached, my stomach tightened, and all the alcohol I’d apparently consumed the night before began to rise in my throat.
I had no memory of this person, only of the petite girl who strolled up and offered me her come hither smile.
I was a guy, and come on, I took the fucking bait.
Again the bile rose and I knew I had to get out of here, and I had to do it fast.
I found my jeans, hurried to stand and put them on, before practically tripping out of the door and into the large living room. I froze, balancing, or trying to, as the room slowly came into focus. I was dumbfounded, as in completely blank. What in the fuck had I gotten myself in to? There were bodies, both male and female, lying around the room, half naked and oblivious to their confused guest.
An orgy. A God damned full-blown, balls on display, tits bare, fucking orgy.
I found myself smack in the middle of a sausage circus and I remembered absolutely nothing. From what I’d seen that may be a good thing, but then again, the unknown was a fucking killer too.
What in the hell happened?
Chapter Twelve