by C. A. Harms
***
“I’m hosting the faculty dinner tomorrow evening at five.” I rinsed my cup in the sink with my back to my father. “I expect that if you plan to be present you will be presentable. Dressed accordingly.” He scanned over my current attire and I felt my stomach grow hollow. I was in my pajamas, but after all, it was after nine at night and I was on my way to bed. “Conversation isn’t necessary on your part, as adults prefer to be in the company of other adults.”
Turning around to face him, I faked a smile and pretended that on the inside I wasn’t calling him an asshole. “I’m not sure I will even be home.” I braced myself and waited for what I knew would come. “Darcy mentioned a movie and dinner, just us and a few other girls.”
“Hm.” My father stared at me as if he could see right through me. I knew he was looking for the smallest indication that I was lying. I’d gotten better at keeping my cool, no longer did my nerves spike the second I told him the tiniest fib. I was a young adult, I deserved a life. But it’s all about control with him, it was with my mother, and it’s the same with me. “Darcy hardly seems like the type to spend a Friday evening at a dinner and theater.”
He was not a fan of my friend. She was the exact opposite of who he wanted me to be.
“In her defense, you don’t know her that well.”
“You forget I have access to all kinds of inside information on all your friends.” The earlier emptiness that had been lingering in my stomach filled with a sour feeling. “Surrounding yourself with the right kind of people is key to a successful future, you really should remember that.”
Looking at him, or should I say looking through him, because honestly I couldn’t truly see him at all, I tried to hold back the harsh words and feelings I had storming inside of me. Each day was the same, I worked and I worked hard, only to leave him needing more. I was dedicated and obedient, like a good little doggy. Always thinking twice, wondering what my actions would make my father think, yet each day he remained disappointed.
That’s when it hit me, you cannot please the unpleasable. So many days, years even, and actions with him in mind, it was all a waste. It would always be a waste.
“I understand.” There was no reason to argue or inflict a debate. I didn’t have the desire to prove an unprovable point to a narcissist . “I’m going to go to bed now.”
I didn’t wait for him to respond, hurrying from the kitchen and practically running up the stairs to create as much distance between us as possible. Once inside my room I began gathering my things for tomorrow evening. Texting Darcy, I agreed to whatever shenanigans she had planned for us and alerted her that I was staying at her place afterwards. There was no point coming home, not when I would have my father’s prying eyes and unthoughtful words to follow after I once again managed to somehow be less than he thought that I should be.
The reality was that I would never be enough, I would never be what he expected me to be because his expectations were too astronomical to satisfy and they were constantly changing.
I wished my mother was still here, I wished I had her to talk to. Missing her was a huge part of every day. I knew that no matter what she would be on my side, she always was.
1. Rock a pair of heels like the hot girl I am.
2. Get my girlie bits waxed.
3. Share my red lipstick with a gorgeous guy. (That means kiss him)
4. Skip class, because I’m hung over.
5. Forego panties and go dancing in a short dress.
6. Give my number to a random guy.
7. Pick out my favorite nail polish and forget it landed in my handbag while tossing it in the cart. (Shh, it’s not stealing if it’s an accident.)
8. Get a tattoo in a secret hidden location.
9. Pierce something, like a nipple or a further south region.
10. Cash in my innocence, to a well-endowed peer.
Chapter Fifteen
Jay
“I’ll do it,” I volunteered, holding up my hand. I had no intentions of drinking, I’d learned my lesson. I shivered as I remembered my last run in with alcohol. Fuck that. “No debate needed, I’ll take it.”
A few of the guys laughed, tossing jokes around about my ass hurting, but I chose to ignore them. Shit in this house was never forgotten, hell, even outside of this house. That shit would follow you forever. I should know, my list had grown and expanded over the last four years and none of my brothers let me forget any of my embarrassing moments.
“What if your girlfriend and her ape come back for more? Don’t you need to be liquored up for that kind of fun or are you going in sober this time?” Xavier poked as Isaac chuckled at his side. “Wanna be able to remember every magical moment this time?”
Looking back toward the television, I stuck my middle finger in the air and flipped him off over my shoulder.
No alcohol. No open cups of any sort, only bottled water, and only if I was the one who opened it. I was still shocked as fuck that I’d been drugged by such a sweet, innocent girl. Okay, so she wasn’t so innocent looking, she was more like a temptress, but still, fuck that.
Sober.
“All right, so Jay is sober brother tonight.”
They continued to make plans and prepare for the party. Continuous remarks about me loving teddy bears so much, cuddles by the big ape, and an entire list of other bullshit digs followed me wherever I went. They had jokes, they should know all they were doing was setting themselves up as targets later. I envisioned shaving some heads and gluing a few of them together ass to ass.
***
The music was loud, the laughter and squeals of girls were louder. There were body shots in the kitchen, with some blonde lying across the bar while one of my brothers hovered over her ready to take the challenge. The living room swarmed with sweaty bodies dancing and grinding with one another. Xavier and Morgan sat in a chair in the corner, she curled in his lap while he looked up at her all doe-eyed. I had no doubt the two of them would be together forever. He was sunk.
Corbin and Clay were in the den, battling it out over an intense game of bags while their girls, Emelie and Palmer, laughed at their antics. Every house had the clowns and the two of them were ours. Insane, full of big ideas that normally backfired, but they never let that stop them from creating the next one. Never a dull moment.
Of course I found Elijah standing in the living room, his arm around Blake securely, holding her safely to his side. He was brutal when it came to her but I couldn’t say I blamed him, she’d gone through too much already. Her life was a mess and none of us knew what she’d been living with. Right under our noses she’d go home every night to her own form of hell. He refused to give anyone the opportunity to threaten her safety. He was her own personal bodyguard, and with her there was no playing around. He’d destroy first and ask questions later.
I stood back and watched my brothers, all with their girls, and smiled. When I first joined this fraternity I questioned my sanity, I mean who willingly signs up to live in a zoo? Knowing that I was going to be surrounded by the grossest, vulgarest guys and was still accepted with a smile.
Lifting my bottle to my lips, I emptied the last small amount of water. Yeah, a beer would be better, maybe a shot, but I’d made a promise to myself. So instead I turned around to head back to the kitchen for another bottle from the fridge when I froze, staring ahead.
Long brown hair falling over her shoulders in waves. Timidity rolling off of her as she looked around the room. I immediately sensed her discomfort as she stood so close to her friend that she was almost hidden behind her. Biting her lip, worrying it while she tugged on the end of her shorts. They weren’t even that short, not compared to most of the girls that were running around here, but it was obvious she felt they should be longer.
I remained off to the side of the large open archway that led to the kitchen, leaning against the frame, watching her, though she’d yet to notice. Something about her stood out, maybe it was the fact that she wasn’t trying to
gain the attention of every guy in the room but the complete opposite. I caught myself smiling when her friend said something to her and her eyes grew even wider.
“What are ya staring at?” Clay’s southern drawl from my right did nothing to pull my attention away from the girl. I continued to watch her, wanting, and maybe hoping a little that she’d look my way. “It’s not the ape, is it?” Ignoring his chuckle, I squeezed the bottle in my hand and heard the plastic crinkle in my fist. “Or is it the devil in red? Did she come back to find another target?”
“Shut up.” Shoving him away, he stumbled before laughing as he wandered away.
Looking back toward the brunette, or where she once was, I found the space empty. Disappointment filled my chest as I quickly scanned the entire room and into the next. My heart raced the more time that passed. Fear that I might have missed a chance to meet her hits me.
Loud chants rung out behind me as a group of guys and girls started jumping around to some song that came on the radio. The room erupted and Isaac took off running just before jumping into the crowd and being lifted in the air as they moved him across the group.
The noise became too much, so I stepped out onto the front porch where it was quieter. The house next to us showed no signs of movement inside, most of them being here for the party. Walking around the covered porch, I sat on the bench tucked back into the darkest part of the area and lounged back, stretching my long legs out before me. Allowing my head to rest back against the tall back, I closed my eyes and listened to the muffled laughter and music from inside.
“Too loud for you too?”
I was stalled by the soft voice of a female and jerked up in surprise. Looking around, I saw the girl from before. She was sitting on the front step leading down to the driveway, hidden in the shadows perfectly. I could barely see her face, but I remembered the shirt she was wearing and the light blue practically glowed in the darkness.
“Sorry.” She shifted her body and that’s when her timid eyes came into view. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I didn’t see you there.” Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees. This gave me the opportunity to bring myself in a little closer. She didn’t attempt to back away, only leaned her body against the railing of the stairs. “Being out here in the dark alone probably isn’t the safest place to be.”
“Why, are you frightened of the dark?”
Laughing, I saw her fight her own smile and felt myself relaxing a little more. Sliding off the bench, I sat on the stairs beside her, but not too close. I didn’t want her running off.
“I was referring to you.”
“I know.” She shrugged and looked out over the driveway, giving me the perfect view of her side profile. “I was in there though, and out here seems much less destructive.” I found myself watching her lips as she talked. The way they moved as she formed each word. “I’m not one for parties.”
“They’re trouble.” She shifted her gaze back to meet my own. “I live here and I can assure you that shit always goes sour.”
“Meaning?”
“Let’s just say that when you get a bunch of frat guys in one house and you add alcohol, they tend to find ways to torture the others.” She arched her brow, causing me to chuckle. “Nothing too horrible, just shaving heads, drawing on each other with permanent markers, piercings, those kinds of things.”
“That sounds kind of horrible, if you ask me.”
Her innocence was refreshing.
“Have you had those things happen to you?”
I clammed up instantly. The last thing I wanted to tell this perfect girl was that just a week ago I was drugged and dragged off so a she-devil and an ape could have their way with me.
Chapter Sixteen
Ruby
I couldn’t look away, and honestly I didn’t want to. I had no idea what his name was but I knew that being here talking to him, it didn’t make me want to run and hide. That was a new feeling for me.
But the sour look that had now formed on his face made me wonder if I’d been wrong.
“I’ve had my share of pranks pulled on me.” He finally broke the silence that had settled between us. “But I’ve pulled plenty of my own too.”
“Should I be nervous?”
“Nah, I don’t torment pretty girls.” My smile faltered but I quickly recovered. Pretty, me? “You didn’t come to this thing alone, did you?” He looked back over his shoulder, scanning the area as if in search of something. He actually looked a little concerned.
“My friend is here too, she’s just a little more comfortable in this type of setting.”
“Not the partier?” I laughed at his question and instantly felt foolish. He probably thought I was a freak.
“Far from it.” Taking in a deep breath, I worried my hands in front of me, trying to fight off the anxious feelings that were starting to pool deep in my stomach. “This is my first one.”
He said nothing, and when I chance a glance at him I found him staring at me like I’d grown a second head or something.
“Like ever?” I’d already said it, there was no backing out now. So instead I just nodded and his eyes widened.
“My dad’s strict and it’s always been easier to just sit back instead of giving him reasons to feel disappointed.”
“He doesn’t need to know everything,” he said, but somehow my father always did. I didn’t say that, but it’s true. I always felt like he was looking over my shoulder, waiting to lecture me on missed opportunities and poor choices. “Every college student should experience the college life.”
I’d allowed so many to pass me by but being here, with him, it felt freeing. It was simple, nothing close to the items on the list that Darcy expected me to complete, but nice.
“I’m Jay.” He held out his hand I looked down at it and took in a slow, calming breath before placing mine in his.
“Ruby.” I never intended to whisper my name but feeling his warm palm caressing mine made my heart race unbelievably fast.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ruby.” His smile was distracting. Slightly crooked, the left side tipped up a small fraction higher than the right, showing a little sliver of bright white teeth. It was alluring, a little dangerous maybe but also so inviting. He had yet to release my hand. “I don’t really like the idea of you being here alone.”
But I wasn’t alone, I was with him.
He looked around once more and I heard the sounds of yelling coming from inside. Jay suddenly looked even more worried, only it wasn’t aimed solely toward me any longer.
“Why don’t you let me help you find your friend?” I nodded, though the last thing I wanted him to do was pass me off to Darcy. I wanted to stay right where we were, doing exactly what we were doing.
Standing slowly, he helped me up and I had to tilt my head back to look up at him. He was so tall, and I loved that. The way he too was staring at me made me wonder what exactly it was that was going on in his mind. Was he looking at my lips and imagining all the things I was? Slow kisses, leading to more intense and hungry ones where we just couldn’t manage to get enough no matter how hard we tried to ease the need.
“I―” His words were interrupted by a loud crash from inside that made me jump in surprise. “Shit.” Without warning, I was being led toward the door, his hand still holding my own firmly. As the door opened and he led me inside, I was tucked in close to his side, protected from the crazy goings on around us.
A few guys were rough housing in the middle of the living room, people stood around laughing and some encouraging them on. It looked innocent enough but things quickly began to shift. Jay wrapped me up closer, and had it not been for the wild scene before me, I would have taken the time to enjoy his embrace. Frankly, I was a little worried as things began to escalate.
“Isaac.” The rumble of Jay’s voice echoed in the ear I had pressed to his chest. His free arm trailed outward, motioning toward something or someone. His other arm was still holding me, and I knew
if I were not near he’d be doing what he could to tame the wild himself.
So without thinking, I attempted to back away, and as I spun outward, I immediately regretted my movements. Something unforgiven collided with the right side of my face and things went dark for a few seconds. Lifting my hand to cover the now throbbing spot on my cheek, I heard the muffled sounds of my name.
“Ruby.” His voice was angry. “Back the fuck off!” I knew he wasn’t talking to me.
“Oh my God!” A shrilling squeal made me squint and my head throb. “What the hell happened to her?” It was all happening so fast.
I was lifted and carried off. I knew who held me just by smelling the intoxicating cologne. I curled in tighter and allowed him to rescue me as a sick feeling began to pool in my stomach.
Bile rose in my throat, and even though I tried like crazy to fight it, it was unstoppable.
Covering my mouth, I looked around for a place to hide, but I was in the middle of a bedroom with no escape. Darcy and Jay, as well as a guy I didn’t recognize, hovered over me. It was coming and fast.
“She’s gonna throw up.”
No, I’m not. I refuse to have this be the memory of the night I met him.
***
I felt horrible, and I’d barely drank a thing. My head honestly pounded, as did my face. “Oh.” My face hurt so bad. I tried to open my eyes, but the right one wouldn’t budge.
Lifting my hand upward, the second it touched my cheek I cried out in pain.
“Wait!” Darcy hurried in closer and I noticed the ice pack she was holding. “Here.”
“You say this was an accident.” Once again I tried to open my right eye and when I still had no success, I swiveled around and found I was face to face with Vera. “Oh sweetheart,” she offered me a sympathetic look. I knew then that I wasn’t going to like what I saw.