by C. A. Harms
I’d felt a knot in my stomach every second of every day since Jay said he was sorry too and then walked away without looking back. I’d not shared the events of that night with Darcy even when she continued to drill me over my sulking mood.
She’d tried more than fifty times to get me back on track with her so-called must do list and I’d shot her down every time. It was fun at first, even exciting. Now it’s the last thing I wanted to continue on with.
Pausing over Jay’s name that showed in my thread of texts, I considered opening it once more and torturing myself. Only the sound of Darcy’s screeching tires and my phone being catapulted toward the dash immediately stopped me.
“What the―” I looked up and the words I’d had on the tip of my tongue disappeared. A large group of guys and maybe even girls covered from head to toe with mud were barreling in a herd across the road. They were jumping around, hooting and hollering as if they’d just won the Super Bowl or something. We both sat watching as they crossed in front of us, moving from the open field on one side of the street toward the side streets lined with big historic homes.
Most of them were so covered with mud you couldn’t tell what they truly looked like beneath it all. They were a mess.
“I’m not imagining this, am I?”
Darcy remained quiet and I looked around from the people and toward her.
“Right? You see this too?”
“Mud wars.” Two words was all I got and her nostrils flared as she continued to stare.
“Excuse me?”
“Fraternities, they have mud wars.” She seemed so bitter. “It’s some macho thing that they do. Isaac…” She practically growls his name and her chest heaved. “He’s such a child, but it’s their big yearly war with the other fraternities and it’s this big thing. Like a way to prove who’s dick is bigger or something.”
I really needed to ask her what on earth went on between her and this Isaac guy.
Before I could say anything more I jerked in surprise when there was a tap on the window at my side. Slowly and cautiously I swiveled around and found a very muddy and adorable Jay standing at the side of Darcy’s car. He was leaning forward with one hand resting on her door, his eyes level with my own.
He motioned for me to roll down the window and I swear I could hear a swooshing sound in my ear from the rapid beat of my heart.
With a shaky hand I pressed the window button and it slowly started to go down. His face had so much mud on it that the only clean space was his left cheek and his eyes. It was mostly dry, making the scruff on his chin and lip seem crunchy. I pressed my lips tightly together to keep from laughing.
Honestly, I was a nervous wreck considering the way our last encounter had ended. He walked away and I felt like I’d probably never talk to him again. Seeing him across campus with not even a wave was how I pictured things would now be.
But here he was.
“Go ahead.” He smirked and I felt the wall I had up crumble just a little. “You know you wanna laugh.”
“Maybe,” I said, the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.
“Darcy,” he offered my friend a nod and I knew he was doing so more for me than her. “Missed you this year, would have been fun to pay you back for last year.”
Again I wondered what my friend had actually participated in that she’d neglected to share.
“I’ve outgrown mud wars.”
“Shame.” Jay looked back at me and I had yet to take my eyes off his dirty yet beautiful face. “So last time we talked it didn’t go over so well, did it?”
Shaking my head, I felt the wall slowly start to slide back into place, until he leaned in a little closer and smiled that gorgeous smile. My heart fluttered, my stomach tightened.
“I meant what I said about not being a bad guy.” I heard Darcy’s humph of disapproval. It irritated me really, because I remember her once pushing me to talk to him and go out with him. But this time, I wasn’t going to let her take this moment from me. “We’re going back to the house to celebrate, have a drink or two.” He cocked his head, looking back at a few of the guys that had hung back to wait for him. “If you’re not busy, maybe you’d like to join us.”
“We―” I held up my hand to stop Darcy and I heard her surprised gasp.
“I’d like that.” I was doing something for me for once, like he said before. I was living my life based on my own wants. “Should I come now?”
“If you don’t mind walking with a group of idiots covered in mud.” His chuckle as he pushed back off the car made me laugh. I pulled the handle and looked back to Darcy. “You should join us.”
“Go on.” She forced a smile. “I’m good. Just be careful.”
“I don’t want to be careful.” She seemed surprised, almost as much as I was. “I’m tired of being careful, tired of living every day walking a straight line. You were the one who told me I should be living and I want to do that. But I know I’d love it more if you were by my side.”
I could tell she wanted to tell me no, and my heart ached for her. But she nodded her head instead. “Go ahead and walk with your guy.” My guy. Not yet, but maybe if I stopped living based on what ifs, and let my guard down, who knew. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
Reaching out, I touched her arm and she offered me the same smile I’d seen so many times before.
“I really want a frozen yogurt.” She nudged my leg with her hand. “Go,” she insisted, “live.”
I took in a deep breath, turned back toward Jay, and climbed out of the car. I realized at that moment that I was wearing my old ratty cut-off shorts and a tank top that said Feed me tacos and tell me I’m pretty across the front. I paused, looked down, and then closed my eyes, feeling my cheeks heat. When I looked up at him he too was looking directly at my shirt.
I shrugged, really not knowing what to say and his smile widened.
“Come on.” He threw his arms over my shoulders and started to drag me along. I didn’t even care that I was now covered in mud too.
***
“You feel like a dumb ass now, don’t you?” I paused with my drink near my lips and looked to my left. A brunette sat down next to me, mud covering her cheek and the corner of her mouth. It didn’t take a genius to figure out just how she got it, the question was from who.
“Em!” We both looked across the yard to a tall blond guy holding up a beer. “You want one?”
“No.” She waved him off and turned back to look at me. “I was like you, thinking Clay was nothing more than an asshole who would break my heart.” I stared at her, wondering where exactly this was going. Then it hit me that Jay had talked about me to her, there was no other explanation. “Jay is one of the good ones. I know it’s hard to tell but I’ve been around this group long enough that I can say that and feel completely confident in it. He’s fun, crazy at times, and loyal as loyal can be, but he is also very sweet and considerate.”
She paused and I searched out Jay, finding him standing near a group of guys. The sound of his laughter echoed over the crowd and as if he felt me watching him, he looked in my direction.
“I do feel like a jerk.” Or maybe a dumb ass. “I regret not giving him a chance to prove me wrong.”
“Looks like you’ll have that chance now.” She got to her feet and that’s when I noticed Jay walking toward us. “Don’t screw it up.” I’d feel small if she weren’t smiling at me knowingly. She wasn’t being bitchy, I knew this. She was simply sticking up for a guy who deserved it. She was watching out for him. I found that to be humbling.
“Ladies.” He offered Em a little nod and she bumped him with her hip.
“Now’s your shot to prove your friend wrong.” He looked at me, trying to hide his worried expression, but I saw it clearly. “Have fun, kids.” And with that she walked away, leaving Jay and me alone. Uncertainty still wavered in his eyes and I patted the now empty space beside me.
With hesitation he sat down and I didn’t even attempt to move away. He
was still damp from the hose. Five minutes after they all arrived they turned the hose on one another and the yard was filled with a bunch of screeching weirdos running around. It was amazing and nothing like I’d ever witnessed before. They were just having fun, not caring what anyone else thought, just set free.
I loved it.
“Sorry.” Jay began to move away and I grabbed for his arm. My actions were so out of the ordinary but I refused to focus on them. “I’m still wet.” He grabbed his shirt and pulled it away from his body. The sound of wet material as it slapped back against his chest when he let it go made me laugh.
“A little water won’t kill me.”
Truth was I wanted him here. Close.
“What were you and Emelie talking about?”
Em was Emelie. And she was with Clayton. How I would keep them all straight was still a big question.
“Girl stuff.” No need to tell him that she called me out on my dumb moves from before.
“Anything I should know about?”
I shook my head, and though I could sense he wanted to ask me more, he didn’t.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jay
It’d been a couple of days since Ruby hung out with us. A couple of days filled with the guys and their women drilling me for details. Well, all of them but Emelie. She knew the story and I was thankful she’d chosen to keep it between her and I.
Two days of Ruby and I sharing random texts throughout the day and even into the night. She’d relaxed. I could tell by the way she talked and laughed when we were on the phone. She was less tense than before, less timid. Don’t get me wrong, that girl was still there, surely, but I was also getting a glimpse of the side of her that very few got the chance to see.
“Pepsi or Coke?” I heard her hmm, as if she were really mulling it over before she answered. “Babe, you shouldn’t have to think about it for that long.”
“What if I prefer Mountain Dew?”
“Then I say that you and I are a match made in heaven.” I could almost picture her smiling. Maybe lying back on her bed, her body tucked in under a huge comforter. Maybe she’s wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties.
“Chocolate or strawberry?”
“A scoop of each.” I said this without pause and she laughed. “Why limit myself to just one? Hell, I say toss in some vanilla too, maybe some sprinkles.”
“Sprinkles? Really?”
“Just because I’m a guy I can’t like sprinkles?” There was a pause and again I knew she was smiling and I closed my eyes to picture it.
When Ruby smiled it reached her eyes, and damn if it didn’t feel like it knocked me on my ass each time. She was beautiful.
“I really should go to sleep, I have class in six hours.” She yawned and I looked over at the clock. We’d been talking for more than four hours about nothing honestly. From movies to music, colors to favorite cartoons, we’d just been bouncing from one topic to the next.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” I’d held out, wanting to take my time, but the truth was I wanted to be near her. “Lunch, coffee, walk you to class, whatever I can get.” A candy bar outside of the quick mart for all I cared, ten fucking minutes. Okay fine, ten minutes wasn’t even close.
“A movie.” Okay, not what I was expecting, but sure, we could do a movie again. “At your place?” Well, damn.
“You bring the movie, remember you get to choose this time.” I was still baffled by her wanting to hang out in my room. Talk about a one-eighty. “I’ll supply the tacos.” She laughed when I mentioned tacos.
“How about pizza?” The memory of her embarrassment when she looked down at her shirt the day of the mud wars and realized she couldn’t hide it was priceless.
“Fine, pizza, but I’m still gonna tell you how pretty you are.” More like unbelievably sexy and heart stopping gorgeous, but pretty would do for now.
“Is six okay?” she asked with another yawn and I felt guilty keeping her on the phone as long as I had.
“Six sounds good.” I couldn’t remember smiling so much. It felt odd but in the best kind of way. “Sweet dreams, Ruby.” She tried to respond but another yawn took over her words. Then a silence fell over the opposite end of the line and I sat quietly listening. The longer I waited the deeper her breathing became, accompanied by the softest of snores.
Again I smiled. I knew right then that I was sunk. Smiling because a girl was snoring, what the hell had happened to me?
***
“Hey Jay.” I looked up from the position on the floor near my television stand to find Isaac in the doorway of my room. “You expecting company?” I noticed the smirk on his face and my stomach instantly knotted.
“Why?” Standing, I tossed the controller to the DVD player on my bed and took a step in his direction.
“There’s a sweet little thing downstairs.” I tried to step around him but he sidestepped to stop me. “What’s the rush? The boys are keeping her company.”
I pushed against his chest, he stumbled backwards, and I darted for the stairs.
“She may have already ran.” My heart rates spiked at the idea. “Corbin was showing her some old footage of your streaking days.”
Motherfucker!
Clearing the last four steps, I slid on the handrail and almost landed on my ass. Gripping the doorframe, I righted myself and what I found made me feel sick. Corbin and Xavier stood near the desktop computer, one on each side of Ruby. But it was what was on the screen that terrified me.
“Oh my God.” I hung my head and instantly wanted to kill my brothers. What in the fuck were they thinking? “That is hilarious.” Ruby’s words shocked me. “I’ve heard about this video but truth be told I never looked it up. Now I wish I had.”
I wasn’t sure what exactly it was that laced her voice. Interest? Humor? Whatever it was it wasn’t disgust as I had feared.
Releasing the doorframe, I crossed my arms over my chest and waited. Xavier was the first to see me and the other two slowly turned around when they’d noticed he was no longer participating in the video replay.
Corbin appeared pleased with himself, which put him on my radar. I’d get him back, and he’d never see it coming.
Ruby pressed her lips together tightly but the need to control her laughter could not be shielded as her cheeks hollowed and she lost control. Laughter bubbled in her chest and she hurried to cover her mouth with her hand.
“You enjoy the video?” I couldn’t help but smile. She did that to me, her smile, her laughter, it was contagious.
“Come on.” She lowered her hand and pointed to the computer. “Who wouldn’t? That is epic.”
Walking across the room, I hooked her around the waist and began to drag her toward the stairs. She didn’t hesitate, which I loved. She’d obviously grown more comfortable with me.
When we made it to the bottom of the stairs I paused, her chest pressed firmly to my own. With her head tipped back, her eyes on mine, I held her gaze. “You bring the movie?” It was time to change the subject. There was no reason to linger on my humiliation. When she nodded, still looking up at me, her eyes dancing over my face, my eyes, my mouth, I knew I’d managed to regain some kind of control. “Let’s go upstairs.”
Again she focused on my mouth and her lips parted slightly. When the tip of her tongue slid crossed her lips to moisten them I knew she was back with me completely. In that second I wanted to kiss her. I’d wanted to from the first time I saw her sitting only a few feet away in the darkness of the porch. Her lips were perfectly heart shaped, plump, and I just knew they’d feel so soft against my own.
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard and I used all the restraint I had left to turn her around and lead her up the stairs. From this angle I got the perfect view of her ass, swaying with each step she took, and I bit my lip. This was fucking torture, taunting me, tempting my control to break.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ruby
I thought I would be nervous, but I wasn’t. I
thought my focus would be on what not to do, trying my best not to embarrass myself, but the thoughts hadn’t even crossed my mind. Being here in Jay’s room, in his space surrounded by all these college guys and all their crazy, I felt comfortable.
Truth was at home I lived a life where I was constantly worried of disappointing someone. Always trying to ride the thin line, fearful of stepping out for even a second, so this felt like I could finally relax. I could be me, and I knew he wouldn’t judge me. He’d made that clear. He’d long forgotten about me jumping to conclusions and we’d started over. This time around I made a promise to myself. I would just feel and not question it. Fear was okay, questions were acceptable, and mistakes, they were nothing more than a learning curve. No judgment to follow.
“What movie did you bring?” He sat down on the bed and I paused in front of the large entertainment stand. A large stereo system, a huge tv, and so many DVDs lined the shelves.
“From the looks of it we could have just chosen something here.” I ran my finger along the cases and looked back over my shoulder at him. I didn’t miss how his gaze roamed over my legs and then moved back up to meet my own.
The way he looked at me, it made me feel desirable. That was something I’d never felt before. It was such a high. I wasn’t the seductive type, but he made me feel like I could be. A shift in my thoughts, the way my body reacted when he was near, I loved how he made me feel and he hadn’t even touched me. We’ve not even kissed.
“I enjoy action movies, thrillers too. Thought maybe you’d want something different.”
With that I turned completely around and held out the movie I’d chosen to bring with a big smile on my face.
“Honestly?” He chuckled and slid to the end of his bed, standing up. His shirt pulled tight over his chest and it was my turn to look him over appreciatively. “Saw?”
When he grabbed the case and looked up at me, I shrugged. “I’m sure you’ve seen it more than ten times but―” Looking back at his collection, I just felt stupid.