by C. A. Harms
“Who said we kissed?” I teased, feeling my cheeks heat.
“You’ve got that look, girl, now spill.”
So for the next hour I told her all about the many kisses and the way he held me while I slept. I even told her about the abrupt wakeup and the stink bombs that we had to endure until the smell subsided. She didn’t seem surprised at all by the crazy antics, apparently that was mild compared to most of the things she was lucky enough to witness.
***
I was fully invested in the books sprawled out before me. Researching information, looking for the perfect facts to support my argument.
I’d felt the pressures weighing down on me of acing my paper. I hated that my father was friends with most of my professors and he watched over me so closely. He preached almost daily that I’d better not be an embarrassment to him.
I hated going home now, especially after sleeping in the arms of Jay for two separate nights now and feeling so safe. I’d never slept more peacefully than I had in his bed. He made me feel like I was enough…actually he made me feel like I was everything and that alone made my heart feel as though it was overflowing.
I’d been at it for more than an hour, lost in the depths of old case files that I was using as reference that I didn’t notice I was no longer alone. It wasn’t until a set of strong arms wrapped around me from behind that I was pulled out of my haze.
“Hey babe.” Jay leaned around me, pressing a kiss to the corner of my mouth, and I closed my eyes, absorbing everything he offered. “I’ve missed you.” It had been three days since he’d seen me. We had just had a nightly call where I’d end up falling asleep on the opposite end of the line.
“You too.” And I had missed him.
He paused, looking me over, and he frowned, his brows creasing. “You sleeping at all?”
Yes, but not enough.
“I’m good.” He didn’t look convinced. “Honestly, I’m okay.”
I looked away from him because his accusatory eyes made me feel awful for lying. I was hanging on the edge of exhaustion. I couldn’t remember that last time I’d slept soundly. Okay, that’s a lie, it was three nights ago when I fell asleep with my head on his chest while watching shitty reality TV in his room.
“Ruby.” He brushed the hair away so he could get a better look at me from the side. “Baby, you can’t keep going like this.” The words on the paper before me blurred as I tried to focus. “Come on.” He reached over my shoulder and closed the book.
Spinning around, I glared at him, but he was completely unfazed by my irritation.
“Let’s go.” He didn’t wait for me to agree before he started gathering my things and stuffing them into my bag.
“What are you doing?” I tried to grab for my things but he held it out of my reach. “Jay…” My voice rose and I received a few hushes from fellow students trying to study.
He snickered and started to walk away, hooking my bag on his arms and holding it securely. He looked pleased with himself, which only pissed me off more.
Once he was outside of the building and I was tailing behind him, rehearsing an anger-filled speech in my head, I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and crossed my arms over my chest.
After a few seconds he realized I was no longer following him and he stopped, turning around to look back at me. “Come on, woman,” he hollered out. “I have a warm comfy bed that awaits you.”
I glared but again he ignored me and continued on. Truth was that did sound perfect. The idea of curling into his side, closing my eyes, and once again feeling safe and secure sounded like heaven. So I walked along, still wearing a scowl, but on the inside I was smiling and couldn’t wait to tuck myself beneath his oversized comforter and gain some much needed sleep.
Chapter Thirty-One
Jay
“Shh!” I glared at Xavier and then looked down at the passed out girl at my side. He’d come barging into my room with Morgan and Palmer tailing close behind. They’d been oblivious to my guest, but when I arrived home the house was pretty empty.
“Damn, sorry.” He motioned behind him, telling the girls to lower their voices as they all moved further into the room. “It’s not even nine o’clock.”
Around here a normal bedtime was well into the morning hours.
“She’s wiped,” I said in explanation. It pissed me off how she’d let herself get drug down so far trying to please a man that couldn’t ever be satisfied. Her father was a prick, a control freak who daily made his daughter feel as though she wasn’t good enough. Her insecurities were because of him, the need to be perfect, the stress I’d seen her drowned in since I’ve known her.
“We’re ordering pizza,” Morgan said in a shushed tone. “Do you guys wanna join us?”
I was hungry.
Before I could answer, I felt Ruby stir just before her body tensed against mine.
“Hi.” Blake waved awkwardly and I rolled my eyes. She was such a fucking dork but I loved her like a sister.
“An audience.” I heard Ruby’s soft, unsure whisper. “Hey,” she added a little louder so the group hovering around us could hear.
“You hungry?” Morgan asked with a smile and I knew it was to make Ruby feel a little less awkward.
“Um…’” She tried to scoot away but I held her tighter against my body.
“They just came in to ask if we wanted pizza.” I wasn’t about to let her get up and move away from me. I didn’t let her refuse or agree, I told them we’d be down in a few and they slunk back toward he exit, closing the door behind them.
“I should go home.” She tugged against me and I gripped her tight. Instead, I rolled over and covered her body with my own. “Jay.” With her palms pushing my chest, I smiled down at her and saw her resolve crack. “You’re heavy.”
“And you’re beautiful.” Something flickered in her expression, skepticism maybe. “You are.” She attempted to ignore my words as she looked away but I kept going. “And you’re smart.” She closed her eyes and kept her head to the side. Cupping her jaw, I forced her to look at me. “Sexy.” Her eyes locked with my own. I’d managed to hold back most thoughts I’d had when we were together, unsure of what was acceptable and what wasn’t. The last thing I wanted was to scare her.
But I was done censoring my thoughts and my words.
“You have no idea what you do to me.” So many things I’d never felt before. “I’ve never been content with just holding someone all night. I’ve never spent hours kissing someone and being completely satisfied with what it offers. I think about you all the time.”
I felt her relax slowly beneath me.
“I want you here.” I don’t think she had ever really been made to feel like she was truly wanted. “When you’re not, I feel like something is missing. Because you, Ruby, make me feel whole.”
Tears pooled in her eyes and I knew that I’d managed to penetrate the fucking walls her father had caused her to build in her head.
“So stay. We can go downstairs and eat pizza. Or we can go get some and bring it back up here. It doesn’t matter as long as you’re here. Truth is, I’d keep you here every damn minute of every day if you’d let me.” I felt the overwhelming urge to protect her racing through me. I knew her father was not doing the job and that pissed me off to no end. She deserved more, she deserved better.
“Okay.” Ruby smiled up at me, and unable to hold back any longer, I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. Our kiss started out slow until I felt her tongue trace my lower lip and I gave in quickly, needing more.
I knew without a doubt that she was inexperienced but her eagerness was a killer. The way she rubbed up on me, the way her hands roamed as if she were trying to test herself, it was all sometimes too much. Ruby had no fucking idea what she was doing to me, and the desire she was creating inside of me was beginning to overflow.
One of her legs was tossed over my hip and I felt her lift herself, grinding against me. The heat of her arousal, the way her kiss had changed
and she was now sucking on my tongue, fuck, I was dying a slow death from all the blood rushing to one central location.
“Baby,” I whispered, ignoring how she continued to pump her hips as if she were only seconds away from getting herself off. “We should…” Hurrying to cover my lips with hers, my words were lost. Her fingernails dig into my shoulders and her breathing grows more ragged.
With her eyes squeezed together so tightly, I watched her without her knowing. The shift of her hips quickened, the pressure growing more intense. I was so fucking hard I felt like I was going to explode. I pushed forward, giving her just a little more friction and one of her hands went to my hair, gripping the ends tight. She tugged and it was both painful and pleasurable at the same time.
The way she was moving was much like the way she would move if I were buried deep inside of her. Her hips pumping, fuck, I couldn’t remember the last time I dry humped a girl. Maybe when I was sixteen.
My heart was racing, my body humming with a want so thick I could barely breathe.
Then it happened.
Her body stiffened, with only a few short quickened thrusts, and she pulled my hair so hard I thought I may just have a bald spot by the time she’s done.
I knew without a doubt that Ruby had just come. Question was, had it been her first. I thought I knew the answer just by the way her cheeks reddened and she couldn’t look me in the eye. Now as a guy who was head over heels for the girl beneath me, that alone was the best damn feeling ever.
“That was hot.” When she shied away I placed my finger against her chin and her gaze found mine. An unsure look was on her face, and I didn’t want to smile and make her uncomfortable. But on the inside I was grinning like a fool. “Next time you get off like that, I want to be inside you.” Hell with the filtering of my words. She brought it on, so I felt like I was in the clear. “Your body naked against mine, my cock hard and moving inside you, hitting the perfect spot.” I lifted my hand and cupped her chest, it just filled my hand. “I have never wanted anyone more than I want you, Ruby. To please you, to hear you whisper my name when I make you come. It’s clouding my thoughts after what just happened.” Again the embarrassment rose to her cheeks. “Unbelievably hot.” I kissed the corner of her mouth softly and moved closer to her ear, whispering, “You honestly have no idea just how perfect you are, but I’m not gonna stop telling you.” I kissed the space on her neck just beneath her ear and her grip tightened on my shoulders. “You’re making me lose my mind, and not just because of what just took place.” Okay, at the moment that was a huge part, but in my defense I just had this sexy girl ride my clothed cock until she came. Give me a little bit of a break. “I want it, Ruby. You, me, every day. I want you.” Pulling back, I looked her in the eyes and found that she was watching me closely.
Lifting my hand, I traced along her jaw with the tip of my finger. “I want us.”
This is what the guys were talking about, I knew it. That moment of clarity, that second that it hits you and you just know that you want the one before you at your side through all the good and even the bad.
I wanted this girl, I needed this girl.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ruby
When we first came downstairs I could barely look Jay in the eyes. I was so embarrassed by my actions upstairs. Honestly. I had no idea what came over me, it was almost like an out of body experience. A kiss, meant to be short and sweet, only I demanded more. It was almost as if the second his lips touched mine I lost all rational thoughts and control.
Before I knew it I was exploding with the most intense orgasm I’d ever had. Granted every other time I’d experienced one I had been alone and had to remain quiet for fear of my father hearing me outside the room.
It took me a bit to warm up after we joined his friends downstairs, but the longer I was near them the more comfortable I became. Granted, they also seemed to refuse to allow me to remain hidden in a corner.
“No!” someone hollered out, just before about three guys jumped at another. The big one, I think I heard some of them call him Red, and then others referred to him as Eli. He seemed completely unfazed that he now had a few not so big guys trying their hardest to take him down. One hung from each arm and another was on his back. A fourth guy moved in and wrapped his body around one of his legs.
I couldn’t stop myself from laughing, these guys were completely crazy.
I jerked in surprise when a set of arms wrapped around me from behind. “I love seeing you enjoy yourself,” Jay whispered near my ear just before kissing the side of my neck. With his chest pressed tightly to my back, I leaned against him and welcomed his closeness.
“Are they always like this?”
It took him a few seconds to respond because he was too busy kissing my neck. Which was extremely distracting and made it hard to concentrate, but in the best kind of way.
“Yes, and worse.” I could feel him smile with his lips still at my neck. “I’d say it’s harmless but that’d be a lie. It gets pretty crazy around here.”
But to have this many people you can count on. This many people that no matter what they were on your side, they were in your corner, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what that was like.
I noticed Jay’s hand spread out over my lower stomach, the sound of his laughter in my ear as he watched the guys rough housing. I’d imagined may times what it would be like to have a guy hold me the way Jay was. To stand near me, to touch me like he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off me, but nothing compared to the real thing.
I’d never felt the things I was feeling.
The tip of Jay’s finger made contact with the bare skin just above the hem of my jeans and I felt the chills break out over my skin. Without even realizing what I was doing I moved my ass against him and felt his grip tighten on my hip and stomach. I should have stopped there, I knew this, but I didn’t.
Wiggling my ass, I smiled when Jay bit the side of my neck. “You shouldn’t tease a guy who has been barely hanging onto his control already for days.”
“Who said I’m teasing?” I was asking for trouble.
Slowly I allowed him to turn me around and face him. His hand that was once on my stomach was now on the small of my back. The other rested on my ass, with his thumb hooked on the pocket of my jeans.
I could feel the semi-hardness of his cock against my stomach and I knew in that very moment this was the time to pump the brakes or stomp on the gas pedal.
The way he was watching me, scanning over my face in search of something only gave me more confidence to do what I already knew I wanted to. Gliding my palms over his chest, I linked them together behind his neck and pulled him in closer. The way he had to slouch just a bit in order to let me kiss him was just another thing I loved. His height, his arms that weren’t big and bulky but strong, and his shoulders, my God, I loved his shoulders.
Just before his lips touched mine I paused and locked my eyes on his. “I really need a shower.” He arched a brow and I almost laughed at the confused look on his face. “Would you mind washing my back for me?”
Instantly confusion shifted to interest and I covered his lips with my own.
Forget the brakes, I was over slowing down and overthinking things.
***
The click of the bathroom door followed by the twist of the lock should have made me nervous, but I only felt excitement. I waited for him to walk across the bathroom as I stood just outside the shower wearing only my bra and panties. He paused, his gaze roaming over me from head to toe. I visibly saw his throat bob as he swallowed hard.
I turned him on. Me.
I’d never been desired. I’d never been looked at the way Jay looked at me. He made me feel beautiful.
Stepping closer, my eyes fluttered shut when he traced over the length of my arm with the tip of his fingers. I swear I felt that simple touch in every single fiber of my body. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered but I heard him clearly in the silence of the bathroom. “Are yo
u sure about this?”
“Yes.” There was no need for hesitation.
Gathering the hem of his shirt, I lifted and immediately he started to help me. Almost like he couldn’t move fast enough. He was nervous, which only excited me more.
I affected him. I unnerved him.
Me!
“There is no rush.” I knew this. “We can shower, then go crawl in bed and watch a movie. There’s no pressure for more.”
He was adorable, the way his hands trembled as I glided over his now bare chest with the very tips of my fingers.
“Ruby.” Lifting my head, locking my eyes with his, I found him staring back at me. “I can’t do this.” My heart sank. “I can’t be the guy you thought I was only weeks ago.”
Reminded of that time I felt instantly guilty. Jay wasn’t who I thought he was. He didn’t make me feel like just another girl, the way he looked at me, the way he held me close for no reason other than he wanted to feel me there.
“I know you’re not that guy.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my body close to his and he didn’t hesitate for a second to hold me like I was the most delicate thing he’d ever held in his arms. “You’ve proven that over and over, and I will never not regret placing you in that category.”
I took a deep breath. “I know that I don’t have to do this. I know that you would wait and not once pressure me for more. But I want this. There is not one ounce of doubt in my mind that I want you to be the one I share this with.”
Something flashed in his eyes. “Ruby, have you―” He paused, his held tilting just slightly as if to gain a better view of my eyes prior to continuing. “Are you―” I knew what he wanted to ask, but he couldn’t seem to get the words out.