by Amiee Louise
“Fuck! Jax, look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, mate.”
I quickly end the call and throw my phone down on the bed. She spins around, slapping me hard across the face.
“FUCKING LET GO OF ME!” she screams, and I growl. Fucking women!
“Not until you tell me what you were dreaming about, angel. You scared the fucking shit out of me.”
She carries on struggling.
“Ugly things. I don’t need them in my head, and I’m damn sure you don’t fucking need them in yours.” She starts pounding my chest and hitting me. “Just fucking let me go! Why won’t you let me go? Why Sam? WHY!”
She lets out a sob, and the noise breaks my heart. She collapses in a heap on the floor at my feet and sobs hard and hysterically. I sink to my knees and gather her in my arms as she begins to relax in my hold.
“Shhh, I’ve got you, angel,” I soothe, as I hear the front door close.
“Sam, babe, it’s me. Where are you?”
Ruby’s voice echoes through the house.
“Up here, babe, in my bedroom,” I call out as Peyton’s head snaps up, and she scrambles away from me, like a frightened, wounded animal.
“I need to go home.”
She gets to her feet and runs straight into Ruby on the way out.
“Oh, babe,” Ruby soothes and wraps her arms around her. “Shush, it’s alright, I’m here.”
Peyton sobs so hard it makes my heart clench.
“Please, take me home, Ruby.”
I sit on the edge of the bed and scrub my hands down my face. This definitely isn’t the way I imagined my day ending.
“Take me home, Rubes, please. I can’t be here, I just can’t,” she sobs and Ruby rubs her back reassuringly.
“Ok, babe, keep calm for me, yeah? I’ll take you home, it’s going to be alright.”
I stand up and pull my jogging bottoms on.
“You can take one of my cars, honey. Take the Aston.”
She nods, and a grin crosses her face. She is wearing a leopard print onesie, and she jumps up and down clapping excitedly. I smirk at her enthusiasm.
“Yay! Thanks, Sam!”
She kisses me on the cheek and takes Peyton downstairs. I follow them both and take the set of keys for my fire engine red Aston Martin V8 Vantage from the hook in the hallway.
“Be fucking careful, babe, or Jax will have my balls; and I happen to be quite fond of my balls!” I warn and Ruby laughs.
“Cross my heart. Careful is my middle name, Newbolt.”
Ruby winks as I toss the keys to her and she catches them. Peyton’s head is down and my heart breaks for her. I take one of my hoodies from the coat rack and start to pull it over her head. She complies as I pull it on for her.
“Thank you,” she whispers. I smile as she pulls the sleeves over her hands.
“You’re welcome, angel.”
She doesn’t look at me and Ruby looks from me to Peyton.
“Do you two need a minute?”
Ruby’s voice breaks the silence and Peyton shakes her head.
“No, I’m done.”
I can’t help but think that her phrase has more than one meaning.
2
Peyton
I wake up the next morning and I have the hangover from hell. Ugh...whose idea was it to get completely shit faced? Oh yeah, mine. I pull the duvet back over my head and a hand reaches to pull it back.
“Oh no you fucking don’t, missy,” Ruby says sternly. “Coffee’s in the machine. Shower, get dressed, and then you and me are going to have a long fucking talk,” she snaps abruptly.
I peel the duvet away and get up to make my way to the bathroom. I feel like a chastised teenager. I look at my reflection in the mirror and gasp. I look like shit, my eye makeup is smudged, I have dark circles under my eyes, my face is pale, and my hair looks like the rats have been at it. Great. I peel off the Rancid Vengeance hoodie, which smells of Sam, and drop it on the floor. I step in the shower and turn the water to scolding hot. The hot water feels so good against my skin and I sink down to the floor. I hug my knees to my chest and try to remember what happened last night. I close my eyes.
The bar…vodka…Jack…Sambuca…Sam. Shit, Sam. Fuck!
Half an hour later, I am out of the shower, and I feel so much better. I feel almost human; I get dressed and opt for denim shorts, a Superman vest and my Converse trainers. I dry and straighten my hair, wearing it down. I go into the kitchen and Ruby is sitting at the breakfast bar. She scowls at me and pushes a cup of coffee towards me. I take it from her and take a long sip, relishing the hot, sweet black liquid, as it slides down my throat.
“You and Jack Scott, really, babe?”
I look puzzled over my coffee cup and she narrows her eyes at me.
“How did...?”
She stops me by holding up her finger.
“Sam’s not stupid, he only said the name of the bar to me and I knew instantly. What the fuck, Peyton? I mean Jack Scott, of all people; if you thought Sam was a slut, this guy takes the cake. Then page five, pictures of you and Sam. What the fuck were you thinking?”
I take another welcome sip of coffee. I really don’t need this shit right now.
“Sam needs to mind his own fucking business. As for me and Jack, it was no big deal, just a bit of fun. I needed to let my hair down and blow off some steam.”
I shrug, and she cocks her perfectly groomed eyebrow at me.
“Or blow him, by the looks of it,” she says sardonically.
I put my coffee mug down forcefully and narrow my eyes at her.
“So, what if I did? I’m single and just because I’m a mum now and I’m not with Sam, I need to become a born again fucking virgin?” I shout.
“I’m not saying that, I’m just looking out for you, babe, that’s all. I know you and Sam still love each other, any fool with a pair of fucking eyes can see that,” she says softly, and I shake my head.
“So, what, he’s been innocent and kept his dick in his pants the whole time I was gone? Don’t insult my fucking intelligence, babe. You know me better than that.”
She stands up and strokes her bump.
“What the fuck has happened to you, Peyton? Have you no regard for his feelings at all?”
I scrub my hand down my face. His feelings? What the fuck?
“Whose side are you on? You’ve got no fucking idea what I’ve been through! I’m fucking broken, Ruby! You don’t fucking get it! I ended things with Sam because he doesn’t deserve this broken version of me!”
My voice breaks, and Ruby’s face is marred with concern.
“Then talk to me, you know I’m here for you. I’m on your side.”
I shake my head. I can’t, not now.
“Just fucking forget it, Rubes. It doesn’t matter.”
I pick up my coffee and finish the remains of the cup.
“Of course it fucking matters, Peyton!” she says exasperated.
I love Ruby to death, but I won’t subject her to that.
I put the cup on the breakfast bar, go into my bedroom and change into my running gear. I need to run; pounding the pavement at six thirty in the morning is exactly what I need. I pull on my cropped jogging bottoms, purple and grey Nike Shox trainers, my sports bra and a tight black vest. I pull on a grey hoodie and pull my short hair into a small ponytail.
“Where are you going?”
I pick up my iPod and grab my Beats headphones. Music and an early morning run are just what I need to clear my head.
“I need to run, Ruby. Please, just give me this.”
She nods.
“Ok, whatever you need, babe, call me when you’re back. I’ll drop Freddie off and we can talk properly?”
I nod; maybe talking to Ruby will help.
She leaves, kissing me on the cheek and promising to come back later. I leave shortly after her, plug my iPod in, and do some stretches outside the flat before setting off on an early morning run. I set a steady pace and before I know
it, I am entering the Green Parks. I am in a world of my own, lost to my thoughts, as I am greeted by the smiling face of Jack Scott.
Shit.
I pull out my Beats earphones and smile at him. He looks especially gorgeous this morning, wearing long black shorts, a black t-shirt that clings to his tight tattooed muscles, and his iPod on an armband. There is another man beside him, and he resembles Jack. They have the same silver-grey eyes and the same smiles.
“Good morning, petal.”
Jack grins and I smile.
“Good morning, Jack.” I suddenly feel awkward. Ground please open up and swallow me. “Erm...”
I look to the floor and my heart is thundering in my chest.
“Peyton, this is my brother, Nate.”
I look up at him and he beams. The only difference between the two, is that Nate has dark collar length hair falling in his eyes and is greying at the temples. He is obviously older, clean shaven, and he is as handsome as his brother.
“Peyton, I’m so pleased to meet you. Jackers has told me a lot about you since last night.”
Nate smiles warmly, and we shake hands. If he feels my clammy palms, he doesn’t say anything.
“Pleased to meet you, Nate.”
I have never felt so awkward in my whole life. Is this really how actual one-night stands go? I’m relieved I didn’t go back to his place; I would have had to endure the infamous walk of shame.
“Erm...I should...go.”
Jack stops me.
“Don’t go, petal. We didn’t get a chance to swap numbers last night, you just took off. Was my company really that riveting?”
I look to the floor, extremely embarrassed at my pathetic drunken behaviour.
“I’m sorry, it wasn’t you...”
Jack throws his head back and laughs bitterly.
“Don’t finish that sentence. Let me guess, it wasn’t you it was me, right? That’s how the notorious blow off goes, isn’t it?”
I shake my head. Shit, how do I explain without sounding like a complete psycho?
“Jack, it wasn’t like that at all, I’m in a bad place right now. I never act like this, ever.”
My voice is barely a whisper and Nate regards us both intently.
“Please, let me make it up to you, give me your number at least. I know I said I wouldn’t call, but Nate is my witness, you absolutely have my word.”
Nate holds his hands up.
“I solemnly swear, I will make sure this dickhead calls you, treasure, I promise. Even if I have to dial the number for him myself.”
I nod in defeat. He takes out his phone and I recite my number off to him. He punches it into his phone.
“I promise I’ll call you, better yet, let me take you for a coffee, petal.”
He looks at his watch.
“I’ve got time now before work, I don’t have to be at the bar for a while yet.”
My heart starts pounding, and it isn’t because I’ve done too much running. I have to get out of here. I don’t answer him and take off at full speed around the perimeter of the park.
“Peyton! Peyton! Shit! Don’t run away from me.”
He sprints to catch up with me and runs backwards in front of me.
“Please stop.”
I look at him and his grey eyes are full of conflict.
“I’m not like this with women, ever! Fuck, please will you just stop for a second?”
I stop running and he comes to a stop in front of me. He smiles a megawatt smile, and I look up at him. My blue eyes lock with his grey ones.
“See, that was fairly painless, wasn’t it? Wow, you look even more stunning than last night; your eyes are...absolutely breath taking.”
He reaches towards me to tuck a strand of hair that has come loose from my ponytail, and I reluctantly let him.
“Do you want to tell me why you left last night? I was starting to think it was something I did.”
I avoid his gaze and stay silent.
“Was it my imagination, or did we have mind blowing sex and then you ran out on me? You couldn’t get away from me fast enough, what did I do?” he pleads.
I shake my head and bite my nail nervously.
“Look at me, petal; we were both drunk, but I’m not the bad guy. Contrary to popular belief, I’m one of the good guys, depending on who you talk to.” His attempt at a joke falls on deaf ears as I look up into his eyes. “I’m a saint compared to say, Samson Newbolt,” he says sarcastically.
I place my hands on my hips, slowly losing my patience with this infuriating man.
“Don’t you fucking dare mention him, Jack, you’ve got no right! He’s...” I say defensively, and he stops me.
“You’re still fucking in love with him. Yeah, I get that, but I’m still willing to take a chance on you, Peyton. Doesn’t that say something about me?”
I shake my head and my eyes glaze over. I will not cry, I will not cry.
“I’m fucking broken, Jack; don’t you get that?”
He takes a step closer to me, and with every step forward he takes, I step back.
“FUUUCKKK!” he roars.
My heart beat kicks up a notch and I take a few deep breaths.
“Are you scared of me, is that it?” he says softly and I hang my head in shame. “Do I scare you, petal?” he presses.
A stray tear slips down my cheek and I quickly swipe it away, hating that I look so pathetic.
“Christ.”
He moves forward, and I move backward. As I take my final step backward, I collide with a hard wall of muscle, causing me to gasp out loud.
“Fuck me, what the hell have you said to her, Jackers?” Nate says sternly.
I look from Nate then back to Jack and shake my head.
“I’m so sorry, I can’t fucking do this, Jack.”
I turn and sprint as fast as I can, away from Jack and away from the park. Right now, I think I am living in a nightmare.
3
Sam
I need to run, to get some of my pent-up frustration out. So, I set the treadmill in my gym to a steep incline and begin to pound a steady pace, until I experience that delicious ache in my calf muscles.
“Fuck me, dude, you must be desperate to get that frustration out.” Brody chuckles from the doorway, and since his stint in rehab, we've rebuilt our relationship.
To replace his drug addiction, he uses regular intense exercise to keep his brilliant mind occupied, and he's become my work out buddy. He speaks when he has something to say, calls me out when I’m being a dick, and he questions me when he thinks I have something I want to share. He has kind of taken Jax’s place as my best friend. Jax has been preoccupied with Ruby and his impending fatherhood lately, which is understandable. Brody and I have come to a mutual understanding: he is there if I need him and I’m forever grateful to him for that.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I slow down to a walk.
“She had a bad nightmare, dude. She punched me in the cheek; it scared the fucking shit out of me.” I point to the faint purple bruise forming on my right cheek. “I asked her about it, but she just...clammed up and point blank refused to talk to me about it.”
He lets out a breath.
“Fuck,” he curses.
I know he cares about her, just as much as I do. He got close to her, and I'll never really know what happened that night on the bus, but I'll be eternally in his debt for the friendship and the unbreakable bond it created.
“She had this...haunted look in her eyes, and it broke my fucking heart, Brody.”
I stop the treadmill completely and go over to my rowing machine and sit down. I scrub my hands down my face and shake my head.
“She’s a mess man, and it’s fucking terrifying me. She left here at three this morning, Ruby took her home. I’ve hardly slept, I’m fucking exhausted.”
Brody is sitting down on the bench press lifting weights, and he places the dumbbell in the rack.
“Fuck me,
dude, that’s some heavy shit.”
Typical Brody, says it like it is.
“What do I do? how can I make it right?”