by Kaylee, Katy
Logan agreed, kind of. “Right, lots of other girls.”
Jordan smiled. “This is awesome news, bro. I’ll order us some drinks to celebrate.”
Logan told Jordan that he agreed but deep down, he had no idea what he was going to do. He cared deeply for Amber and she had just given up Yale for him. He couldn’t just pick up and run to the other side of the country. At the same time, this was his answer; it was exactly what he needed to start fitting the puzzle pieces together. He didn’t know if he could just shut it down like that.
Jordan handed him a beer and cheered. “To the future, bro.”
Logan tapped his cup to Jordan’s. “To the future. Hey, do me a favor and keep this between us for now.”
Jordan understood. “Yeah, of course, man. This is your news to tell how you want to. I won’t stand in your way. Just, such great shit man.”
Logan sat back in his chair and looked out the window as the plane started down the runway. His mind was completely shattered. He didn’t know what to think. He cared so much for Amber and she had given up her dream for him. But how was he ever supposed to be the man she deserved if he didn’t take the opportunities to build his future? It was frustrating, to say the least. Everything always ended up being so damn complicated.
He drifted through the rest of the flight with Amber on his mind, his anxiety building and building. When they landed they collected their bags and headed out to the street to catch a cab. They climbed inside and Jordan gave the home address.
“Actually, can you drop me at Sixth at the Whole-Body Gym?” Logan asked.
Jordan looked at him strange. “Working out already?”
“I need to clear my head. Just got so much rattling around up there. It’s hard to concentrate.”
The cab dropped him off at the gym and he went inside, changing his clothes and jumping straight on the treadmill. He put the incline to max and took off at a sprint. He ran and ran, trying to get his brain to work things out. It almost always worked, but this time, he just felt worse the more he climbed. After about thirty minutes and a gallon of sweat, he slowed it down to a walk and dropped the incline. Working out wasn’t working, but at the same time, Logan wasn’t ready to go home and face Amber just yet. He didn’t know how he could look her in the eye knowing that he had agreed to leave her.
He stopped the treadmill and wiped off the equipment, realizing that working himself into a coma wasn’t the answer. He didn’t know how to handle telling her the news, but in the end, he was going to have to. She deserved to know so that she could make her own decisions on life not based on where he was. Maybe they could work something out, and maybe they couldn’t, but Jordan was right; this was his chance to start his life and build the business he had promised himself he always would. Any other time in his life this would have felt like winning the lottery or finding the genie in a bottle, but at that moment, it was nothing but heartbreak.
Logan grabbed a cab and headed back to the house. When he got inside no one was downstairs, so he headed up to take a shower. As he passed by Amber’s room, he noticed the door was open and her light was off. Apparently, she wasn’t even home to tell. It was a bit of relief, but something he knew wouldn’t linger. Eventually, he was going to have to face her, and blowing her off would only cause her more pain.
When Logan walked into his room, he dropped his bags on the floor and sat down on the side of his bed. He took off his shoes and rubbed his hands over his face, just wanting his brain to be calm and quiet for at least a moment. He looked around , then opened the top drawer of his side table, pulling out his journal. It was old and faded. He had started using it the day his parents died. He didn’t write in it every day or even every week, but when things were really heavy, good and bad, he would pull it out to get the thoughts out of his brain.
He sat back on his bed, resting against the headboard, and opened up to a blank page. As soon as the pen hit the paper he started writing, talking about the internship and what it would mean for his future. He wrote down his concerns, and his conversation with Jordan. Then it hit him, he knew what he needed to do. It felt like the coward’s way out, but facing his entire family and saying goodbye, he just didn’t feel like he was strong enough to do it. In the end he knew they would understand but, in the moment, they would be hurt.
His plan was simple; the day his flight was booked, he would gather up his things while everyone was sleeping and leave without anyone knowing he was going. That way he wouldn’t have to deal with the repercussions of dipping out, and he wouldn’t have to see the hurt written all over Amber’s face. He wouldn’t have to feel the sting of her pain vibrating through his chest. He already knew no matter how he handled it, telling her or not, she was going to be devastated. He knew his own heart was going to be broken into a thousand pieces.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want Amber in his life; he couldn’t imagine his life without her. It was the fact that this opportunity was the key to him having a future. Amber would succeed whether she went to Yale or the community college. She was smart, dedicated, and came from an affluent family. No matter how much he loved the Stark family, he wasn’t one of them when it came to the nitty gritty. He was an orphan, a man without parents, and he was going to have to do everything he could to make it on his own.
All that Logan could hope was that he was making the right decision and that some day, Amber would be back in his arms. He knew that was a very small possibility after he dipped out on her, but it was the only way he knew how to handle it. His life had to move forward, or he would be stuck in the movie industry for the rest of his life and never become the man he was supposed to be.
18
Amber
Amber stared out the window of her mom’s SUV as it raced down the highway. They were going to visit her mother’s childhood friend, Elise Crenshaw, who just happened to be the head of admissions for UCLA. They had pulled some strings and got her late application accepted and pulled her in for an interview. It was definitely not a college on her list, but it was a good school and it would keep her close to Logan and the rest of her family.
She watched the buildings pass by outside and the kids running along, enjoying their summer. She wished for just a moment that things could go back to as simple as they were when she was that age. She wished it was all still simple, but she lived in the real world, and life always had ups and downs. For Amber, Logan was enough of an up to change everything she had planned for.
Amber looked away and over at her mom, reaching across and rubbing her hand. “I just want to thank you for supporting me. I know this is hard on everyone, with me just up and changing all of my plans, but it is the best for me. I’ve put a lot of thought into it.”
Her mom squeezed her hand and glanced over as she drove. “I will always be there for you sweetie and so will your father. Know that your dad will come around eventually; he just needs to adjust to you not going to his Alma Mater. You know how he is about those things. Sometimes I think he’s spent too much time in Hollywood around rich people. But in the end, he just wants what is best for you. You know he is a stubborn man and when he doesn’t get his way he can be ruthless. But he really does love you.”
Amber sighed and put her hand back in her lap. “I know he does. It’s just the first time in my life that he hasn’t whole heartedly supported a decision I wanted to make. It’s really disconcerting not to have him on my side.”
Her mom scrunched her forehead. “Amber, honey. He may be mad at you, and mad at the decision, but he is always on your side. He just has to come to terms with the fact that you are an adult now and you are going to make the decisions that are best for you. He won’t always know what is best, but as parents we sure try to make the best guess at it.”
Amber smiled. “You guys have been incredible parents, to all of us, including Logan. I couldn’t ask for better role models in my life.”
Her mom sniffled like she was going to cry, then took in a deep breath, composing herself
. “Are you excited about the idea of going to UCLA? Some really brilliant minds have come out of here and I think you will fit in nicely.”
Amber looked over as they drove up onto the campus. “I am. I think that it will be a great place. And who knows, when I get to my doctorate status, maybe I’ll go back to Yale and finish it all up there.”
Her mom pulled into a parking space and gave her a warm hug. “As long as you are happy and fulfilling your dreams, then we will be happy for you.”
Amber blew out air and puffed out her cheeks. “Okay, here we go.”
The two women walked across the campus to the admissions building and into Elise’s office waiting area. Before they could even speak to her secretary Elise walked out the door with her arms wide. “Lisa. Oh, it’s so good to see you. Oh my gosh, and this is Amber. The last time I saw you, I think you were in fifth grade. What a beautiful young woman you have become.”
Amber shook her hand. “Thank you.”
Elise stood to the side and opened up her office door. “Come in, both of you. I’ve been looking forward to talking to you all day long.”
She showed Amber and her mom into the office and they sat down in the chairs across from Elise’s desk. The tall, slender woman in Dolce and Gabbana sat down and opened up a file. “So, Elise. I was excited to get your file on my desk. Valedictorian of your high school, 4.0 student, and president of three different clubs. You were definitely a busy girl. Tell me, what it is about UCLA that made you want to come here?”
Amber smiled enthusiastically. “Well, there is so much. UCLA is consistently ranked among the top universities in the world for academics, research, and community impact. You offer over five thousand different courses, which makes finding what I want incredibly easy. You have a diverse student population and a very high matriculation rate. I think my research said seventy eight percent for freshman and ninety percent for six-year students. On top of that, you have some of the most prestigious professors in the country teaching here. Nobel prize winners, Pulitzer Prize winners, and so much more. I just love your community involvement as well. It’s very important to me.”
Elise looked extremely pleased. “You really did your research, though with the application essay and the transcripts in front of me I am not the least bit surprised about that. I’ll be honest, we had already made up our mind about you before you got here, but just listening to you talk makes me so proud to say that I am convinced that you would be a perfect fit for us. You can consider yourself a student at UCLA.”
Amber clapped her hands together and wrapped her arms around her mom. “Thank you so much. This is so exciting.”
She shook Elise’s hand. Elise paused for a moment. “I do have one question. I heard you were accepted into Yale and then withdrew. Can I ask why?”
Amber shrugged. “I guess I wanted to make sure that the place I fulfilled my necessary duties for my future was a place that I felt like home in.”
Elise smiled. “Good answer. We will get all the necessary information out to you as soon as possible and you can set up a meeting with admissions to get your placement exams completed.”
Amber, her mom, and Elise sat there talking about Amber’s future at UCLA as well as family life, and so much more. She knew that they had only even considered her late application because of her mom, but that didn’t matter to her, she had found a place she could call home. When they were done, Lisa happily drove them back to the house.
Amber walked into the living room to find both Jordan and Logan sitting on the couch. They muted the television and looked at her curiously, noticing just how excited she was. Amber was almost bursting, even more so than when she had gotten her acceptance letter to Yale.
She put her hands out and took a breath to calm herself. “Guess what, guys?”
Jordan opened his eyes wide. “What?”
“I had a meeting at UCLA today, and I’ve been accepted!” Amber jumped up and down excitedly.
Jordan jumped up from the couch and picked Amber up in the air, hugging her tightly. “This is freaking fantastic, little pixie. Oh man, I have to admit, I’m really glad you aren’t going all the way across the country for college. It was causing me some really serious anxiety. I can keep a good, clean eye on you here, even if you decide to live in the dorms. I gotta make sure those frat guys don’t fuck with you.”
Amber shook her head. “Hey, I’ve got my pepper spray and my sweet moves. I can take a dude down.”
The two of them started sparring with each other in the living room. Her mom laughed and edged around them, heading into the kitchen. Jordan grabbed Amber and threw her over his shoulder laughing loudly. “See, you need me little sis. The world is a big, bad, scary place and you have the honor of having one, no two, of the most protective men on the planet looking out for you. We’ve faced those dickheads and we have taken them down.”
He put Amber down and she laughed, giving Jordan another hug. “Thanks, big bro.”
Jordan turned to Logan and put his hands out. “We would have her back and look out for her even if we have to go there and walk her to her classes. Right, Logan?”
“Hell yeah,” Logan jeered.
Jordan gave him a high five. “That’s right, my brother.”
Logan stood up and gave Amber a hug, making sure not to linger too long. “Congratulations and your brother is one hundred percent on point. I will protect you from any loser who thinks he can get within ten feet of you. These guys haven’t seen protection until they’ve met me, and your brother, but he’s wishy washy on his upper cut.”
Jordan narrowed his eyes. “I’ll show you an upper cut.”
Logan laughed and turned back to Amber, looking her straight in the eyes. “I’m serious, we both are. Anything that you need, you just let me know. There isn’t a soul out there that I would let harm you.”
Jordan jumped up from the couch and wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulder. “And maybe one day you will meet the man of your dreams, who is just as awesome as us.”
Logan glanced at Jordan. “Well, almost. It’s hard to live up to these standards.”
Amber smiled but on the inside, she felt like she was going to boil over. The way that Logan was being protective turned her on to no end. She had never had someone like him pledge their protection to her like that, and immediately visions of him shirtless carrying her away from a trauma flashed through her mind. She shook her head and tried to focus on her brother.
“Let’s grab a beer from the fridge and put on a movie. We can chillax and wait for Dad to get home so you can tell him the good news.” Jordan motioned for the couch.
Logan nodded. “Yeah, I’ll grab the beers.”
Amber shook her head. “You guys are too much. And as far as Dad is concerned, I don’t think anything would make him happy at this point. I think that Yale is the only word he wants to hear.”
As Logan walked away, he secretly winked at her, making her stumble over her feet. Jordan grabbed her before she could fall. “See, you definitely need protection. You can barely walk on your own anymore.”
Amber sat down on the couch and put up her feet, relaxing back into the sofa. She was trying to get the heat to dissipate from between her legs, but as soon as she saw light Logan walked back around the corner. Everything about that man, from the way he moved, to the way he talked, to the way he treated her turned her on. The fact that she switched colleges was starting to look like the smartest choice she could have made.
She didn’t know where things in the future would go with Logan, but she was so stoked that she was going to get the chance to figure that out. She realized right there that she would sacrifice just about anything for him, and she had a really good feeling that he would do the same for her. They were not meant to be together, but now that they were she was going to enjoy every last minute of it. He was the guy for her, she knew it, there was no doubt in her mind. All she had to do was to eventually convince the others.
19
Logan
Logan stood in his room, tying and retying his tie. He straightened his suit jacket down and picked a couple of pieces of lint off of it. He didn’t mind wearing a suit when it meant he got to spend the evening with a beautiful woman. He had planned the perfect date for him and Amber, a beautiful dinner at private table at a very exclusive restaurant. Jordan had actually helped him get the reservation, though he didn’t tell him who his date was.
Logan knew he was leaving, but he didn’t want to waste the time that he had. He and Amber had been dying for some time alone. Ever since he left for Colorado, things had been non-stop, and with Amber enrolling in her new school, her mind was completely frazzled. It had been nearly a week since they had been able to even talk to each other alone, much less be together without interruption, and it was driving Logan absolutely nuts.
Everywhere he looked he saw her, every thought he had was about her, and he just couldn’t continue living like that. She had snuck into his room the night before and told him she wanted a date and he was not going to refuse her. He had tried to get her to stay, but Jordan was still up on the phone with the girl he had been seeing and they were too afraid to get caught.
He walked over to the bed and picked up the dozen red roses he had gotten for her. The deal was she was going to get ready at Taylor’s house, and that was where he was going to pick her up. They figured it would be a little suspicious if they left together all dressed up in the same car. In fact, it would be a dead giveaway. Everything was perfect at that moment, and he didn’t want to ruin it with an unnecessary burden, like the family trying to murder him in his sleep.