by Kaylee, Katy
He shook his head. “No. He has a reputation because of his actions.”
“He’s misunderstood.”
“That’s still not your fault.” I could hear the frustration in Danny’s voice. I wondered how much was at me or for himself for initiating the event that led us to this place. After all, if he’d believed Ryder four years ago, we wouldn’t be in this position.
“It’s not fair, Danny. Ryder has so much to give, and everyone refuses to see that.”
He shrugged. “The bad boy persona is part of his appeal, I expect. Women seem to dig it.”
He wasn’t wrong about that, and yet, the bad boy persona was partly the media’s doing.
I didn’t say anymore as the opening music to the show started and I crossed my fingers that I could make America see just what a great man Ryder was.
26
Ryder
My first reaction to the TMZ news the next morning was, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” But I quickly resigned myself to its depiction of me. Of course, that’s what they’d say. They’d never talked to me, and I suspected they hadn’t talked to Katie either. Not that there hadn’t been calls. Ray had called me earlier to tell me his phone was ringing off the hook for me to make a statement. He recommended ignoring them all and instead sue Katie and her firm.
I doubted Katie or her firm was the source of the story, but I was too detached to care. My reputation was already bad. This probably wasn’t going to make it any worse, and would solidify what people already thought of me; I was an arrogant, self-absorbed, player. Although it rankled that people would think I’d abandon a child. Even so, I didn’t have the head space to deal with this. Right now, my focus had to be on football.
My only reply to my teammates and coach was that the story wasn’t completely true and that my manager was dealing with it. Once practice was over, I hid in my room instead of hanging with the guys.
“Hey Ryder,” Speedy poked his head into my room. “You need to come see this.”
“What is it?”
“Your baby mama is on TV.”
What the hell? My first instinct was to ignore it, but I couldn’t help but feel bad that Katie was being dragged through mud too. She might have betrayed me, but she didn’t need the media hounding her, especially since she was pregnant.
I left my room and went to the common area where a large screen TV was playing an entertainment show.
Katie looked a little pale as she sat in the chair across from the lady interviewer. “What is she doing?”
“So, it’s true?” Sly asked. “You gonna be a daddy?”
I nodded, but kept my eyes on the screen, wishing I hadn’t put Katie in a position to be tainted in the media.
The host looked to the camera to open her segment. “This morning TMZ broke a story that Ryder Malloy had gotten his publicist, Katie Lawton pregnant, but wanted nothing to do with her and the baby. This evening, Ms. Lawton is here to set the story straight. Katie, thank you so much for being on the show tonight.”
“Thank you for having me.”
Jeez, she volunteered for this? What was she up to?
“Katie, I know you’re trying to put the record straight, but when I look at this picture,” Kallie said as the picture of Katie crying and me stalking away appeared on the screen behind the two of them appeared. “I see a man walking away from a woman who’s just told him she’s pregnant with his child. He doesn’t seem to care.”
“What you see is wrong. Ryder already knew about the baby and was ecstatic.”
The interview went on with Katie admitting she’d hurt me and doing her damndest to take the blame, even though the interviewer seemed to keep trying to paint me in a bad light. I was an asshole for not taking her back.
In a huff, Katie blurted. “Ryder is a textbook example that you can’t always believe what you hear or see in the news. And he shows why news outlets should do their due diligence to get the story straight. Ryder has a strong case if he decides to sue.”
Sue? I wasn’t going to sue. What would be the point?
“So you’re saying these photos don’t accurately depict what was reported?”
“No. Ryder is very excited about the baby, and eager to be involved.”
The interviewer looked up at the photo on the screen behind her where I was stalking away and she was crying.
“Why is he walking away?”
“Well for one, he’s at training camp and needs to focus on getting the Orcas to the Super Bowl.”
“Damn straight,” Speedy said.
The rest of the team let out a whoop at the mention of the Super Bowl.
“My tears are because I’m sad, but that’s my fault. I hurt Ryder. Very deeply. Too deeply for him to give me another chance.”
I winced. I didn’t want the world knowing my business.
“I was crying because I’d hurt and lost a wonderful man.”
“I have to say, what we know about Ryder doesn’t gel with what you’re saying. He has a reputation for fighting and womanizing.”
“I can’t go into too much detail about Ryder because he’s a private man, but if you go back and look at each time he was in a fight, chances are a woman was being victimized or hassled, and Ryder is big enough to intervene.”
There was a small upward twitch of my lips that she’d used my words to describe why I felt compelled to engage assholes with my fists.
“In fact, there was an article not long ago that indicated Ryder had stopped his own father from harassing a waitress when he was seventeen.”
Okay, she didn’t need to rehash my whole sordid history.
“That true, Malloy?” one of my teammates called out.
“Yep.”
“You took out your old man?”
“He had it coming.” I kept my eyes on Katie, wondering why she was doing this. She knew I didn’t give a shit about what people thought, and now, she was putting herself in the spotlight.
“And the womanizing?” the interviewer asked.
“Ryder is a handsome virile man.” Katie looked at the camera. “Is there a woman out there that wouldn’t want to spend time with him?”
I winced, and the interviewer laughed.
“Do you think she’ll tell the world the size of your dick,” one of the linebackers asked. I ignored that question.
Katie turned her attention back to the interviewer. “But is he really different from any man, or any person his age that dates? The truth is, when he and I were together, he was with me.”
“How can you be sure?” The interviewer had an expression that suggested Katie was being naïve.
But Katie, to her credit, looked the interviewer in the eyes. “Because I am sure. Had I been smarter and more…” she paused as if she was checking her word choice. “If I had more faith in him and put less into what the media was saying, he and I would be together and planning a life with our child.”
“That true? You were going to marry her?” Speedy asked standing next to me.
“I tried. She turned me down.”
“So, what’s she doing here?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
The interviewer eyes widened in surprise. “Are you saying he was going to marry you?”
Katie nodded. “He asked me.”
Jesus, wasn’t anything sacred. How much grief was my team going to give me over a rejected marriage proposal?
“What happened? Why would you turn Ryder Malloy down?” the interviewer asked.
“I said no and will regret that for the rest of my life. But make no mistake, Ryder is going to be a part of this baby’s life.”
The interviewer studied Katie for a moment. “You’re here trying to paint a better picture of Ryder, to clear his name, and yet he won’t give you a second chance. That seems harsh.”
Katie’s gray eyes narrowed into slits. “Why do you do that? You all do that.”
The interviewer jerked back. “Do what.”
“Turn everything
about Ryder into something sordid.”
“Look out, angry woman on the warpath,” a team mate called out. “When they get that look in their eyes, it’s time to take cover.”
Katie did look fierce as she told the interviewer, “I’m telling you that I’m the person who did wrong. That I deserve his anger and if I were him, I wouldn’t risk being with me again either, and yet you turn it around so that he’s the bad guy.”
Katie looked to the camera again. “I hate to tell you people, Ryder Malloy is about as good-hearted, kind, and loving a man as you’ll ever find. I’m sick and tired of people making him out to be something he’s not.”
The interviewer regained her composure. “He doesn’t do much to change his reputation.”
Katie smirked. “Can you blame him? All you do is look for the bad. You tried to do it just now. The truth is, Ryder doesn’t a give a f… Ryder doesn’t care about what the media says. He cares about what his closest friends and family think, and on that front, I let him down.”
My heart was a mangled mess. I wanted to high-five her for her spunk in sticking up for me. I wanted to kiss her for putting herself in the spotlight, even though I hated what that could mean for our baby. More than anything, I wanted to believe her, believe in her. I wanted to love her. I wanted to put my heart in her hands for safe keeping. But could I?
I continued to stand in the middle of room, lost in thought as the show went to commercial.
“She telling the truth? You wouldn’t take her back?” Speedy asked.
I nodded.
“I’ll take her,” Sly said. “She’s got smokin’ curves.”
My inner possessive animal burst to life. “You touch her, I’ll kill you.”
Sly held his hands up in surrender. “If you want her, why don’t you have her? Do you think she’s going to be single forever? Baby or not, someday, she’ll find someone else.”
Fuck. The idea of that made my blood boil. She was mine dammit. And no other man was going to help raise my child.
I marched down the hall to my coaches’ room. His door was open, so I entered. He was on the phone, so I waited.
“Gotta go, hon. Give the kids a hug. Love you too.” He hung up and looked at me. “Something on your mind Malloy?”
“Can I take off tonight?”
One brow lifted. “Saw your girl on TV.”
I nodded.
“Is she why your game is off?”
I nodded again. “Just tonight. I’ll be back first thing, ready to throw rockets.” Luckily, our training camp wasn’t far from Los Angeles. I could get to Katie’s in forty-five minutes. If things didn’t go well, I’d be back tonight, but if they did, well… I might want to stay the night.
My coach studied me and then stood. “The heart is a fucking organ, Malloy. When it’s got love, there’s nothing you can’t do, but when it’s broke, well that’s like living with an anvil crushing it.”
“Yes, sir.”
“So, I’m going to give you permission to take off. Just tonight. No drinking.”
“Understood.”
Coach gave me a stern stare. “You better come back ready to take this team to the Super Bowl.”
“Yes, sir.” I hurried out in case he changed his mind. I’d been in sweats, so I changed into jeans and a button-down shirt, and hurried out the door to my car.
Forty-five minutes later, I arrived in front of Katie’s condo but was suspicious of the cars out front and movement in the trees. Chances were that the media was hiding out to see if I appeared wanting to get a scoop on my reaction to her television interview. Not wanting the world to witness my private life, I texted Danny to ask for his help. Then I drove back out of town and found a location that the media wouldn’t think to look for me or Katie. Then there was nothing I could do but wait, and hope, and even dream a little.
27
Katie
“Hey, Katie, let’s go for a drive.” My brother came out from the kitchen without the beer he’d gone to get, shoving his phone into his back pocket.
“Why?” I was watching and re-watching the interview, feeling less and less sure about helping Ryder. What if I’d made it worse?
“Because you’re going to make yourself crazy watching that over and over. And make me nuts having to listen to it.”
I looked up at him. It was eight in the evening. What did he want to do? “Where do you want to go?”
“Someplace away from the jerkwads hiding in your bushes.”
I hadn’t completely thought that through when I rushed headlong into the interview, which was stupid because media was my business. I’d now put myself into the story, and I had to hope that over time, I’d be too boring for them to care about. Until then, I knew several people were camped discreetly outside my condo building hoping to catch Ryder. They’d be disappointed. Ryder was done with me. They’d probably write something nasty about him being a no-show. God, I probably did make it worse for him.
“I don’t know that we can get away from them. They’ll just follow us.”
“I’ll lose them,” Danny said confidently.
I quirked a brow.
“Without endangering you or the baby. Although I might get a ticket.” He held out a hand. “Come on.”
I took his hand and stood.
“Maybe you could get dressed.”
I looked down at my yoga pants and long t-shirt. “Where are we going that it matters what I wear?”
“In case you do get caught by the paparazzi, is that what you want plastered on the Internet?”
He was right. “Fine.” I changed into a simple cotton dress and sandals. I combed my hair and put it back into a ponytail.
“Hey, you look human again.”
I smirked. “Asshole.”
He grinned and for a moment we were back to how we’d been as kids.
We drove quite far, and I was wondering what he had planned. “I don’t think the media is interested enough in me to come out this far.” We were halfway to the town where Ryder’s training camp was held. For a minute, I wondered if we were going there, but then my brother pulled into a parking lot of a diner next to a small inn.
“What’s this place?” I asked as I got out of the car.
“To be honest, I don’t know.” Danny got out on his side, but didn’t shut his door. Instead he looked over the top of the car and nodded behind me. “Ask him.”
I turned, and my heart stalled in my chest. Tears sprang to my eyes at the sight of Ryder walking toward me. He was so handsome. I couldn’t breathe every time I saw him knowing that I’d hurt him.
“Ryder.” I was doubly glad my brother had me change my clothes.
“Thanks man,” Ryder said to my brother. To me, he said, “Can I talk to you?”
I was nodding before he could finish. I couldn’t stop hope from blooming, even though odds were he was going to chew me out for talking about him on TV.
“I’ll be in the diner. Text me if… well… you know.” Danny headed to the diner door.
I didn’t know and didn’t care. Ryder motioned toward the side of the inn lush with trees and flowers. Because it was night time, it was dark and I couldn’t see the bright blooms, but I could smell their pretty floral scent. He motioned toward a bench and I sat, looking up at him expectantly.
“I saw you on TV tonight.”
“I’m sorry,” I blurted.
One blond brow arched. “Sorry?”
“I know you don’t like being in the media, but I just couldn’t let them say those things about you, Ryder. But I’m terrified I made it worse.”
He nodded and sat next to me. I could feel the heat of his body and smell his manly scent. I wanted to climb into his lap, hold on to him, and never let go.
“I keep telling you, the truth doesn’t matter.”
A terrible thought came to me. “You didn’t get kicked out of camp did you?”
He laughed. “It would take more than leaving a pregnant woman to get kicked out of the
league.”
“Oh, yeah… Brady.” I swallowed, feeling nervous and wishing he’d tell me what was on his mind that he’d gotten my brother to drive me out here.
“You put a target on yourself, Katie.” His eyes were soft, and I knew he cared. Maybe he didn’t love me, but he wanted me and the baby to be okay.
“I know. I’m sorry about that too. I figure over time they’ll get bored with me. It’s you they like anyway, and since we won’t be together much except for the baby…” I let my sentence drift off.
He stiffened. “Tell me what you want.”
“What?” I looked into his blue eyes, wishing I understood what he was asking.
“When you came to see me yesterday, what did you want?”
I sniffed as new tears came. He would make me relive hearing him tell me he couldn’t forgive me. I supposed I owed it to him to grovel. “I wanted your forgiveness and another chance. I wanted to prove to you that I believed in you. That I loved you.”
He gave a slight nod. “Do you still want that?”
I was feeling lightheaded from the hope and the effort to squash the hope in case I was reading all this wrong.. “I’ll always want that Ryder. Always.”
His intense blue eyes stared into mine. I hoped he saw my love and total devotion to him.
His finger gently drew across my cheek where a tear had fallen. “I forgive you.”
My breath hitched as joy bubbled up. But I held back. Giving forgiveness didn’t mean he would give me a second chance.
“Thank you. I meant what I said Ryder. I love you. I know I don’t deserve you and I don’t know—”
His finger pressed over my lips. “I’ve got more to say.”
I nodded.
His lips drew up into a smile and my heart sang from the beauty of it. “I love you, Katie.”
“Oh my God, Ryder.” I threw my arms around him and held him tight. Even though his arms held me, I still wasn’t quite sure I was getting my second chance. I pulled back. “Does this mean we can try again?”
“If you still want me, Katie, I want you.”
“Yes, yes, Ryder, I want you.” I strew kisses all over his face, until he held my cheeks, steadied my head, and then kissed my lips so tenderly, I thought I’d swoon.