by Kaylee, Katy
I laughed at myself. “What a waste.” All this effort to look good, and no woman to impress. I tried to remember the last time I had sex. The image of Sofia on the bank of the lake came to mind. She wasn’t the last woman I’d slept with, but she was the one that stood out for blowing my mind.
What a fucking mistake that was. I should have never touched her. She was Tony’s little sister. Since Tony hadn’t killed me, I guessed he hadn’t found out. Still, every time I saw him, I would assess his mood just to be sure.
I’d deserve it if he kicked my ass. Sofia never said, but I felt certain she’d been a virgin. She’d been so tight. The memory of it made my dick perk up. But for her? Shit, what a shame it was to have a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am for the first time.
But Jesus, she’d been so alluring. If I was honest with myself, I’d noticed that Tony’s annoying little sister had become bothersome in a different way when I’d come home from my junior year in college. She’d been at the lake with a group of friends wearing a bikini that didn’t hide her curves. Tony punched our friend Jimmy for gawking at her. But Jimmy admitted later it had been worth it. I thought he was right. Sofia was sexy as hell. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t jerked off a few times that summer with her in my mind.
But there was a difference between a private jerkoff and actually fucking her. I’d crossed that line. It was fantastic too. Wrong, but fantastic. My guilt was heightened when she showed up at my place one Saturday when I was studying for the bar with Val. She’d acted cool, but I knew she’d expected more from me. She certainly deserved more from me.
I stared at the man in the mirror. “Celibacy has been your punishment for fucking your friend’s sister.”
With a shrug and conceding that I couldn’t change the past, I headed out, taking a car I ordered to the restaurant hosting the party.
The night was warm as I got out of the car and headed into the restaurant. I strode to the back where the celebration was being held in a ballroom-sized room. I arrived at the right time; not too early, but not late. I headed straight to the group of executive partners to say hello. Let’s get the brown-nosing shit out of the way.
“Jake, so good to see you,” Mr. Akerman, an executive partner said. He looked around me. “Here alone?”
I nodded, wondering if that married shit was true. “Just me.”
“You know what they say about all work and no play?” Mr. Wallace, one of the founding partners with my uncle asked.
You won’t make partner?
“I’m dull?” What was the deal with these guys? They’d told Val they were worried I’d hurt the firm’s reputation by being a playboy and now were suggesting I needed to get laid.
“You’ll make them all look lazy,” Val said, coming to stand next to me.
The men frowned, and I hid my laugh.
“Come on, Jake, let’s get a drink,” she threaded her arm through mine.
“Gentlemen,” I nodded to them and then went to the bar with Val.
“It’s not nice to antagonize the partners,” I said to her.
“I’m already a partner, and I know you want to be one so you can’t do it. I did it for you.”
I clinked my vodka and tonic glass with her whiskey. “Thank you.”
I took a long swig and then scanned the room. It was filled with mostly middle-aged men in dark suits, young associates like me, and women in dark cocktail dresses.
“It looks like a funeral.”
“Law firm, funeral…not much difference,” Val quipped.
I was getting ready to head to the buffet when a flash of red caught my eye. I focused on the curves outlined in red, and long dark locks cascading down her back. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. The woman was standing by Gina who turned slightly and looked in my direction. She said something to the woman in red, who also looked my way.
Holy shit.
“She’s stunning. Wait…why does she look familiar?” Val asked.
“Sofia.” Our gazes caught and it took me a moment to propel my feet into motion. “Excuse me, Val.”
“Go get ’em, tiger.”
I set my glass down and then turned to find her, but she’d disappeared in the crowd.
3
Sofia
Oh my God. Tell me that wasn’t Jake Dunne.
I’d come to the party ready to network for business customers and maybe an investor. I wasn’t sure I’d find any leads for a new apartment as Gina suggested, but I was open to that as well. The only thing I wasn’t open to was finding a husband. I knew Gina had been joking about that, but it was exactly the sort of thing my mother would have said.
Gina was excited about the macarons and shared them with her boss who set them on the buffet. I considered talking to the restaurant manager to see if they’d want to buy my yum yums. But Gina took my arm and guided me into the center of activity, which was mostly middle-aged white men, and a few sharply-dressed women.
“Now, if I didn’t think lawyers were too intense or stuffy, there’s the one I’d set my sights on marrying. Mr. McHottie,” Gina said, nodding over toward the bar.
I looked to where she indicated and my jaw fell to the floor. Jake Dunne. No f-ing way. His gaze caught mine and at first, they narrowed in confusion, and then they showed recognition. He was standing with a woman who seemed familiar. Seeing Jake took me back to that horrific moment I’d shown up at his apartment, which then led to recognizing the woman with him now as the one who’d answered the door. I supposed it said something that after five years, he was still with her.
He turned away. I guessed he was about as excited to see me as the last time. He probably thought I was going to embarrass him by throwing myself at him again. Not likely. While I didn’t completely blame him for breaking my heart, seeing him was painful and brought back the mortification I’d felt the last time I’d seen him.
“I need air.” I turned and headed to the door.
“What? We just got here. And you need to meet Jake. He’s coming our way.”
Oh hell no. How did I not know Gina worked with Jake? I supposed for one, she always referred to her firm as GWD, not Gordon, Wallace and Dunne, which I knew his uncle had helped start. Second, she referred to her colleagues by nicknames. How could I know Jake was Mr. McHottie?
The room was crowded and I was having a hard time weaving through the people. Several of them I bumped and got several annoyed glances.
“Sofia?”
Crap. I stopped in my tracks and took a deep breath.
“You know Sofia, Mr. Dunne?” Gina asked.
I plastered a friendly smile on my face. At least I hoped it was friendly. It was quite possibly a grimace. “Jake.”
“How do you know each other?” Gina’s expression suggested she thought I was holding out on her.
“Jake’s my brother’s best friend.” She didn’t need to know how I’d seduced him and gave him my virginity, or that it had meant nothing to him.
“No kidding. So you grew up together?” Gina asked.
As Gina talked, Jake kept his eyes on me. This time I wasn’t foolish enough to think he liked what he saw.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I brought her,” Gina said. “She needed a night out.”
Not wanting her to give away all my woes, I said, “I live in the city now. I work at the Worcester Hotel as a pastry cook.”
“You should taste the macarons. They’re to die for.” Gina made a yum sound.
“I’ve tasted Sofia’s sweets.”
My body went hot as I remembered his lips on my body. But no, that’s not what he meant. He meant the baked goods I’d made while growing up and for my parents’ restaurant.
“I’d have thought Tony would have mentioned to you I was here,” I said.
Jake shrugged. “Tony is busy with his family and restaurant. The few times we’re together, we’re usually involved in something else.”
And you never asked him about me, I thought.
A waiter passed by and Jake stopped him. “Can you get me vodka and tonic? Ladies, do you want something?”
“White wine. You too Sof?” Gina asked, looking at me.
I nodded although I hoped I wouldn’t still be here talking to Jake when the waiter returned.
“How are your parents handling you being here?” he asked as the waiter walked off.
“They’re saving my room and baking tools for when I fail and have to move home.”
He frowned.
“But that won’t happen, will it Sof? You’ll start that bakery yet,” Gina bumped my shoulder with hers.
He smiled like he was pleased. “Good for you. Chasing the dream.”
“Gina here is chasing a dream,” I said, wanting to move away from the subject of my dreams.
“I know,” Jake said. “I understand you’ll be in law school this fall.”
“Yep. Someday I’ll have your office. Once you finally get partner, that is.”
A darkness crossed his face but he quickly recovered. I wondered what it was about and then reminded myself I didn’t care.
As it turned out, I didn’t get away fast enough, and the waiter returned with our drinks.
Jake took his drink and then asked me, “are you living in Manhattan?”
“Yes.” But not wanting to elaborate or have Gina give the details of my living situation, I said, “I heard about your uncle’s passing. I’m sorry.”
“A life of liquor, cigars and women will do that to you. My guess is he didn’t regret any of them,” Jake said.
The woman from before came up to him. “Jake, I’m sorry to interrupt, but Mr. Gordon is here. You should go talk with him.”
He looked at me and then over to where the man just walked in. He was bow-legged and hunched over, with a shock of silver hair on his head. He looked like he was a hundred years old.
“He could put in a word for you,” the woman said.
He nodded. “I’m sorry, Sofia. I need to—”
“Yes, of course.” Please go. My nerves couldn’t stand to be around him anymore.
As he walked off, I tried not to watch.
“Poor Jake,” Gina said.
“Why?” I drank half my glass of wine, working to get my nerves back in place.
“He’s earned partnership, but the partners won’t vote him in. I think they’re upset about nepotism, but Jake does more business than most of them. Mr. Gordon is retired but he’s on the board and has a vote in the partnership, so a good word from him might help Jake.”
“Jake seems to be doing alright. He’s got a woman and good job.”
“What woman? Val?” Gina laughed. “It’s not like that with them. She’s his mentor and friend.”
“Are you sure it’s not friends with benefits?”
Gina frowned and looked over to where Jake and Val were talking with Mr. Gordon. “I don’t think so.” Then she shrugged. “But who knows.” She turned to me. “So what was he like growing up? Mr. McHottie?”
“Typical.”
“I imagine he was captain of the football team, valedictorian and a hellion.” She said it with the wistful dreaminess I’d expect from a high school girl.
I laughed. “Pretty close.”
“So…did you and he ever…” Gina quirked an inquiring brow.
I chanced a look at Jake, and caught him looking over my way. I turned away. “He’s my brother’s friend.”
“So?”
“Tony would kill him if he touched me.”
She made a sad face. “Too bad. I bet he’s really good in bed. He looks like he’d be good, doesn’t he?”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know. How does that look?”
“Like Jake Dunne.”
I hung out with Gina a little longer, but when Jake finally broke away from Mr. Gordon, I decided it was time to leave. Not that he was seeking me out. No, his face was strained, maybe even angry as he strode to the bar. The woman, Val, followed him, saying something but I couldn’t hear it.
“I need to go,” I said to Gina.
“You’re kidding. It’s barely nine-thirty.”
“Pastry cooks have to be at work before dawn.” I moved toward the doorway of the large room. “But you stay. I’ll get a cab.”
She had the look of being torn between wanting to stay and wanting to be a good friend and leave with me.
“Seriously, Gina. You stay. I’m just going home and going to bed.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.” I gave her arm a reassuring squeeze. “Come see Rosco at lunch tomorrow. I’ll meet you there.”
She smiled. “I can’t tomorrow but I can on Friday.”
I left the room, walked through the main restaurant and made it to the street when I heard a deep masculine voice call my name.
I closed my eyes, hoping beyond hope it wasn’t Jake, and yet knowing it was.
I turned. “Jake.”
“You’re leaving?” he weaved through the walking traffic to reach me at the edge of the sidewalk.
I looked up the street and, spotting a taxi, I raised my arm. “Pastry cook hours. Gotta get my rest.”
“Can I take you home?”
My body screamed “yes”. Traitor. “You need to stay at your party. I understand you’re close to making partner.”
That dark look crossed his face again. “It’s a little early in my career. Or so I’m told.”
The cab drove by, so I tried again with another cab making its way up the street. “You’ll get there. Chasing the dream and all.”
“You sure I can’t take you home?”
“Nah. I’m just going to call it a night.”
He studied me for a moment. What was he looking at? Or for?
He put his hands in his pockets. “Listen, about…before—”
I stepped out into the street and yelled, “Taxi.” There was no way I was going to talk about before. I wasn’t even sure what before he was talking about. The one where he fucked me senseless on the shore of the lake or the one when he’d dismissed me like a lovesick child?
“I’m sorry—”
I especially didn’t want to hear his regret.
“Long forgotten, Jake.” I waved my hand, wondering why it was so freaking hard to get a cab in the city. I thought I should probably call an Uber.
Jake stepped off the curb, then putting his fingers to his lips, he let out a shrill whistle. A cab pulled up to the curb.
He opened the back door for me. “We should get together some time. Catch up.”
“Yeah, sure.” Not. I got in the back seat.
He stared at me like he knew I was giving him the brush-off. “See you later then.”
“Later.”
He shut the door and I leaned forward to give the driver my address. I really should have been taking the subway to save my pennies, since I was about to be homeless. But I’d promised my mother I wouldn’t take the subway after nine at night.
As the cab pulled away from the curb, I chanced a look out the back window. Jake stood on the curb, his gaze on the car. He must have seen me turn because he lifted his hand and waved. I felt like a bitch, but I turned forward in my seat without acknowledging him.
Certain times of the day had more congestion than others, but traffic was always busy in New York City. Twenty minutes later, we’d made it to my neighborhood and building. I paid the driver and entered. Once in my apartment, I poured another glass of wine and willed it to calm my nerves. Why was seeing Jake making my insides go haywire? I hadn’t seen him for five years. He’d been home while I still lived there, but I made it my business to stay out of sight, so tonight was the first time I’d laid eyes on him since embarrassing myself on his front doorstep.
He had those same piercing blue eyes set in olive skin, accented by dark brows. I’d never seen him in a suit before. If his law work didn’t pan out, he had a lucrative future modeling suits because he wore his like he was born to it. The coat highlighted his broad sh
oulders. The blue tie brought out his eyes. The legs tapered in around the ankle, making me think of James Bond in Skyfall. He wore a suit well.
Despite my outward unaffected appearance, I’d certainly noticed that he was still sexy as hell. Mr. McHottie. Gina was right about that.
I wondered what he saw when he looked at me. I realized that while it had been five years, and I was smarter about the world and men now, I still felt like that twenty-one-year-old girl with a crush. That was why my nerves were a tangle. But I wasn’t that girl anymore. If I ever saw him again, which I hoped wouldn’t be for a long time if ever, I would have to remember that.
I got ready for bed and as I climbed in, I realized it was time to let my bitterness and humiliation go. My actual time with Jake at the lake had been sweet and satisfying. As first times went, I couldn’t complain. I needed to focus on that and forget the part where I acted like a lovesick puppy. All that was in the past anyway. I didn’t need love or a man. What I needed was to stay focused on my goals; find a place to live and open a bakery.
4
Jake
I watched the cab pull away from the curb, wondering about the woman who looked like Sofia but didn’t act like her. Her head turned in the back window, so I waved. She ignored me and turned away.
No, not the woman I remembered. The Sofia from before was vibrant, funny, daring and always smiling. Tonight, I saw a woman who was none of those things. Had life in the city worn her down? Or was her behavior toward me specifically?
I thought about going back to the party, but what the fuck for? It wouldn’t help me in my career. I certainly wouldn’t have a good time. Instead, I waved down a cab to take me home. During the ride, I reflected on Sofia again, and my regret for taking her virginity and for not being better to her when she’d shown up on my doorstep. There was a reason men had a bad rep with women. I was proof of it. After our evening at the lake, guilt nearly had me running back to New York sooner than I’d planned. I wasn’t so much afraid of Tony kicking my ass, as I was of losing his friendship and the respect of the Bellini family.