by Kaylee, Katy
Overwhelmed by it all, I was in a daze as the doctor finished the exam and then let us out. Back out on the sidewalk, Sofia looked up at me expectantly.
“Do you need a ride home?” I asked.
Disappointment crossed her face. “No. I’ll call a car.”
I nodded as I looked back toward the doctors’ building. “That was fucking amazing.”
She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yes.”
“I’ll have to stop saying fuck.”
She laughed. “Eventually.”
I waited until the car she ordered arrived and I helped her. “Do you need anything?”
“No. I’m fine.”
“Good. Great.” My brain had definitely short-circuited.
“I’ll talk to you later?” She said.
“Yes, oh, I think you should hire another person. I’ve allocated the funds. We can talk about it another time.”
“Yes. Okay.” She looked like she was going to say something, but the driver asked for her destination, so I shut her door and sent her on her way.
As I watched her go, she turned her head to look back at me through the window. I had a déjà vu back to the anniversary party when I’d put her in a car then, too.
Jake, I love you. I wanted you to love me too.
I do love you, but I couldn’t do anything about it right now. Not yet. Knowing how she felt and seeing my child caused a profound shift in my heart and mind. Everything was put into perspective. What was important and what was bullshit.
As I hailed a cab, I was determined to end the bullshit and focus on what was important; Sofia and the baby. But that required some planning and preparation.
29
Sofia
There was a moment, actually several moments during the doctor’s visit, when I thought I’d had Jake back. When he showed up, I told myself that I was happy simply that he was there. I didn’t deserve to expect more.
But then he took my hand, and I could see the effect seeing and hearing our baby had on him. He was in awe of the miracle we created, and I thought maybe that had led him to forgive me and want to raise our baby together.
After the visit, I realized that he was more dazed by the experience. His focus was the baby, and the overwhelming emotion he felt hadn’t expanded to include me. Instead, he put me in a car and sent me home. He said something about hiring another person at the bakery which made no sense unless he thought I’d need the extra help. I probably would with a baby, but it wasn’t the response I’d have hoped for.
When I arrived back at the bakery, I finished out the day and then prepped for tomorrow with Drew. All my staff and I had a system now. Everything was baked fresh daily, but we did prep a lot of doughs in advance that we’d freeze ready to bake. For example, we’d freeze cookie dough in little cookie sized balls. When it was time, we’d let the dough thaw and then bake.
Later that night, Tony called. He’d agreed to not tell my parents about the baby, but in return, I had to keep him up-to-date on how I and the baby were doing, so I’d told him about my appointment and inviting Jake.
“Are the baby and mother healthy?” he asked.
“Yes.” I rubbed a hand over my belly as I sat on my couch with a cup of tea. The bump was still relatively small so it almost didn’t seem real, except during the sonogram.
“And Jake?”
“He was in awe. Emotionally overwhelmed. It was beautiful to watch, actually.”
“And you and him?”
I shifted on the couch; not sure if I liked this question. “I don’t feel like I can answer that in any way that you’ll be okay with. If I say we made up, you’ll be mad and if I say he didn’t forgive me, you’ll be mad.”
“You and him together is weird, Sofia, but I want you and my niece or nephew to be happy.”
I had to give him that. It would be weird if my brother had dated a friend of mine. “He wasn’t angry and he indicated he’d be involved, but we won’t be together.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you really?” I found it hard to believe that, since he punched Jake when he learned we’d been together.
“I’m sorry that you’re unhappy. Like I said, it’s weird thinking of you and Jake together.”
“What’s going on with you?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.
“Vera agreed to couple’s counseling, even though I’m the shit in the family.”
“That’s good. What about you?”
“I’m looking at getting a life coach. My problem is I have no dream. No purpose. I figure a coach could help with that part and the counselor can help me be a better husband.”
It was something at least.
He continued on, “I only hope that if it turns out my dream is to be a marine biologist in Miami, that Mom and Dad will forgive me and Vera and the kids will come with me.”
I laughed. “Tell Vera in the winter when it’s cold and you’re snowed in with the kids. She’ll go then.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Marine biology?”
“I don’t know. I was just saying something. My point is, if I leave the restaurant, Mom and Dad will be disappointed.”
“Yes, they will, but in the end, they want you to be happy too,” I assured him.
“Listen Sof, you can put off this baby thing for a while, but they’re chomping at the bit to see your bakery. I told them I’d bring them over this weekend.”
“What about the restaurant?” I wasn’t sure I was ready to see my parents. I was proud of the bakery, but emotionally, I was raw with the baby and Jake.
“They’ve got people to cover. I’ll bring Vera and the kids too.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“I know I’m an asshole sometimes, but I’m proud of you starting your bakery even though you got it by fucking my friend.” His voice sounded teasing so I didn’t take offense.
“I married him first.”
“Jesus. Are you still married?”
“He said he left the divorce papers on his desk.”
“Want me to call him?”
I scoffed. “The guy who hit him in front of his partners? No.”
“Let me know if you change your mind. I can be reasonable when I want to be.”
I smiled, liking having a big brother to watch out for me. “The problem is, you hardly ever want to be.”
“Yeah. I’ve got to work on that.”
I went to bed early. There was a lot to do over the next few days to get ready for my parents’ visit. I immersed myself in my work and tried to ignore the sadness that Jake didn’t reach out to me over the rest of the week. In fact, it was probably a good thing. If he did call me, it would be to deliver divorce papers.
On Friday night, I spent much of the evening prepping to serve our usual, but also added cannoli and my dad’s favorite, tiramisu. On Saturday morning, I walked into the bakery at four-thirty. I pulled out the frozen cookie, croissant, biscotti and scone dough we prepped earlier in the week to let it thaw before baking.
Then I started on the cannoli, taking the dough I made the night before out of the refrigerator, rolled, cut and deep-fried in rolls. I took out the ricotta that I’d drained overnight and whipped up the filling, then filled the rolls, dipping the ends in chopped pistachios, almonds or chocolate.
Loraine joined me at five and together, we baked the pastries and scones first, as those were popular with the morning crowd. Then we made the cookies and other treats. Loraine opened the doors to the bakery at six, while I continued to pull things from the oven and started on the tiramisu.
Jenn arrived at eight to work the front, and Loraine joined me in back to finish baking the rest of the day’s treats. By ten, I felt like I’d run a marathon, and took a short break to have tea and one of Loraine’s delicious biscotti.
Jenn poked her head through the swinging door. “You’ve got company. A lot of company.”
I checked my watch. I’d hoped they’d come later, but
I’d probably more tired by then. “I’ll be right out.”
I checked my chef coat to make sure I looked like I owned a bakery and pushed through the door.
“Oh my God, there she is. Look at my baby owning a fancy bakery in Manhattan,” my mom gushed. I took a quick look around the bakery and saw that we were about a quarter full with patrons. I hoped my large Italian family wouldn’t scare them out.
“Mama, thank you for coming.”
“Of course, baby. We’d have been here sooner if you invited us.” I heard censure in her voice but ignored it.
“I’ve got cannoli and tiramisu just for you today,” I hugged my dad.
“Well, I hope so,” he said.
I hugged my two nephews. “I’ll send you home with some extra cookies.”
“Yay!” They jumped up and down.
Then I hugged Vera.
“This is lovely, Sofia. Really lovely.”
I studied her. She looked sad and tired. “Thank you.”
Then I hugged Tony. “You owe her,” I whispered in his ear.
“I’ll dedicate my life to paying her.”
I pulled back to look at him to gauge whether or not he was being sincere. Deciding he was, I invited my family to check out the menu and tell me what they wanted.
It took nearly twenty minutes, but eventually, everyone had finally decided what they wanted and were served. They sat at tables along the wall, poking at each other, laughing and being a family.
I rubbed my belly. “I hope you’re ready for them,” I said to my baby.
The ding on the door sounded, letting me know someone else had come in. I turned, and my heart stalled in my chest when I saw Jake. He scanned the restaurant until he saw me. God, he was so handsome. He looked more relaxed than the last times I’d seen him. I tried not to be offended that now I was out of his life, he was happier.
I wanted to rush to him; one, to hug him, and two, to tell him my family was there so he needed to be discreet.
“Oh look, it’s Jake,” my father said.
Jake waved. “Mr. Bellini, Mrs. Bellini, how are you?”
I frowned. How come he wasn’t surprised to see them?
I moved up to him and whispered. “I haven’t told them about the baby or anything.”
He smiled. “That’s okay.”
My eyes narrowed. Was he still in a daze from the doctors’ visit? “Why are you here?”
“To see you.”
Oh God, he had the divorce papers. “Maybe we could meet about the divorce later,” I whispered.
His bright blue eyes stared down at me. “There won’t be a divorce, Sofia.”
Huh? He took my hand and led me to where my family sat. I eyed my brother to gauge his reaction, but he was busy wiping his son’s mouth.
“Great bakery Sofia has here, huh?” Jake said to my family.
“Oh it’s wonderful, Jake, just wonderful,” my father said. “I heard you’re her silent partner.”
What? I looked at Jake.
“I did help her, yes, but I was hoping that my partnership wouldn’t be so silent anymore.”
“Oh?” my mother looked at Jake and then me. I looked at my brother, who was still acting like nothing was going on.
“The thing is, I’m in love with her.”
I whipped my head around to Jake. “What did you say?”
His beautiful blue eyes looked at me. “I said I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time. Even before you started baking,” he said with a nod to my belly.
I sucked in my lips to keep from laughing at his reference to the bun in my oven.
“I was too much of a coward to say anything then and like an idiot, I let you walk out of my life. And then like a bigger idiot, I walked out of yours.” He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me intently. “Sofia, I want you.”
He accentuated the word “you” and I knew then he wasn’t saying these things to do the right thing for the baby. He was doing it because he wanted me.
My heart swelled with emotion that stole my breath. “Jake.”
“I’m hoping you love me too.”
“I do. I do love you, Jake.”
Relief shone on his face as he smiled at me.
“Well, that’s unexpected,” my mother said, but she didn’t seem to have any emotion behind it to indicate how she felt about it. I figured that was probably good. If she was unhappy, we’d have known.
“Now that we have that all cleared up, there’s another thing we need to deal with.” He held up a manila envelope and then tore it two. “We don’t need that.”
“What was it?” my father asked.
I assumed it was the divorce papers.
Jake ignored the question. “Now, I want to give you this.” He dropped to his knee. “It was my grandmother’s and I was instructed to give it to someone special. Someone I wanted to spend my life with.”
I was nearly hyperventilating. I couldn’t believe what was happening.
“That someone is you, Sofia. I want us to build our dreams together. To have babies and help them build their dreams.”
“Say yes before he changes his mind,” Tony called out. Had he known about this? Did that mean he and Jake had made up?
“Yes. Yes.” Of course, I was already married to Jake, but this time I wasn’t just saying yes to marriage. I was saying yet to building a life with the man I loved. When he stood, I launched myself into his arms.
“Did we know they were dating?” my father asked my mother.
“No. But we never know what Sofia is up to.”
I held on to Jake, not wanting to ever let him go.
“You’re my biggest dream, Sofia,” he whispered in my ear.
I lifted my head to look at him. “Funny, you’re mine.”
He grinned and then in front of my family, staff and customers, he kissed me. Firmly and thoroughly. I heard clapping and “awws.”
“Alright, we get the point,” Tony said. “You can stop with the kissing or go get a room.”
“Don’t be crass, Tony,” my mother said.
As much as I loved my family, I wanted them to leave. I had so many questions for Jake. And kisses to give him. But instead, we spent another hour together.
My family asked when we’d gotten together, I looked at Jake, wondering if he’d tell them how I’d thrown myself at him five years ago.
Instead, he said, “Sofia was at my firm’s anniversary party, and I took one look and that was it.”
“That’s romantic,” Vera said.
“He’s embellishing,” I replied.
He winked at me.
“How do you feel about Jake and your sister?” Vera asked Tony.
“It was weird at first.”
“He didn’t take it well at all. I have the bruise to prove it,” Jake said jovially.
“Oh goodness, Tony, you didn’t beat him up, did you?” my mother said disapprovingly.
“He was fu—Yes, she’s my sister and it’s my job to protect her.”
“From Jake?” my dad said, shaking his head. “I always thought you were a nice boy.”
“Thank you, sir.” Jake grinned at Tony.
“Don’t gloat, Jake. You hurt my sister, I’ll mess you up more,” Tony said, but there wasn’t any menace behind it.
Jake took my hand. “You have my word that I’ll love her right.”
I snorted.
“That’s funny?” Jake said to me.
I leaned closer to him. “My sex hormones are crazy so I translated love to sex.”
He kissed my temple and said against it so my family wouldn’t hear, “are you seducing me again?”
“Is it hard?”
He pressed my hand into his lap under the table. Yep. It was hard.
When my family left, loaded up with cannoli and tiramisu and cookies, I wanted to run off to be alone with Jake, but I had a bakery to run. While I could leave them alone for a few hours, it was only lunchtime when I said goodbye to my famil
y.
“I know you need to work—”
“I don’t want to.”
He smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. I was thinking that while you finished the day, me and a few helpers could pack up your place and you could come home with me.”
I didn’t think my heart could get any fuller. Sure, we were engaged even though we were already married, but the idea of starting our lives together today, it was my dream come true.
“Yes.” I nodded and wiped a tear. These hormones were crazy. “What will we do with the apartment?”
“I’ve got everything all planned, baby.” He leaned forward and kissed me. “You trust me to get your stuff packed up?”
“Yes.” I pressed my hands to his chest, wanting to get one last feel of him before we had to spend the day apart. Then I took the key to my apartment and handed it to him. “I trust you, Jake. With my life, my heart…everything.”
He inhaled sharply and emotion swam in his eyes. “I love you, Sofia.”
Yep, all my dreams just came true.
30
Jake
Well, that went well, I thought as I exited the bakery and led a group of men up to Sofia’s place to pack up her things and move her back to my place. I knew from the last move here that she didn’t have too much. We’d leave the furniture unless there was something she wanted.
Several hours later, her things were at my place and I was heading back to the bakery to bring her home.
Home. How fucking awesome was that? Finally, after all my preparations and planning, Sofia and I would be together.
I hated that it took me nearly a week to get my shit together, but I wanted to be totally one-hundred percent focused on her and the baby.
After I put Sofia in the car and sent her home after the doctor’s appointment, I sprang into action. I went back to my office, planning on tearing up the divorce papers, but then decided it could be my grand gesture to win her heart. Of course, with her family there, they couldn’t know what it was, but I knew she would.
Instead of tearing up the papers, I picked up the phone to call Tony. I’d have preferred to see him in person, but I didn’t want to waste time driving home or waiting for him to drive here. I hashed everything out with him, including how I’d had her the first time on her twenty-first birthday.