by J. J. Egosi
“Your face. Your hair. Are those boobs?” Julianna asked, getting a closer look.
Tears rolled down his face as his transformation became too much to handle.
“That fucking snake of a salesman,” said Alexa.
“He’s kind of cute, though, if that helps,” Ursula commented on Michael’s new state.
“That’s not the point,” said Alexa.
“Sorry.” Ursula whimpered with a downhearted glare.
“This is unacceptable what happened. We’re marching back to that shop right now. And Michael, you’re coming with us.”
“I can’t!” said Michael, covering his face with his now much longer hair.
“You can and you will!” said Alexa.
“But, why do you need me? I’m sure they already know they gave me this potion to take. It was probably out of spite,” said Michael.
“Exactly. That is why we want you to come along. We want them to see what that little joke of theirs did to you and we want you to see what happens to people who get on our wrong side,” Alexa said, grinning.
Michael reluctantly nodded.
“Oh, but you can’t wear that,” Isabella said, referring to the outfit he put on.
“Why not?” Michael said, confused.
“Because it’s too boyish. You need more ladylike clothing like dresses and skirts and jewelry,” said Isabella.
“Don’t force him. This is already difficult enough for him,” said Alexa.
“I knew the church fancied degrading people, but their belief that turning a man into a woman is supposed to be some sort of trick is offensive on countless levels. I’m not even sure where to begin.” Julianna’s face turned as red as her hair.
“It’s alright,” Michael began.
Their eyes widened in unison.
“Are you sure? You really don’t have”—
“I don’t mind.” Michael took a deep breath. “Those people can insult me all they want, but I won’t let them pull such a tasteless prank and get the last laugh.”
Julianna smiled. “Good. Let’s be on our way soon then.”
“You get him changed and we’ll get our things ready,” said Alexa.
“Got it!” said Isabella.
The girls walked out of the tent. Michael tossed and turned as Isabella helped him get dressed.
Isabella stepped out of the tent and said, “We’re all done!” The girls looked back around, curious to see what she had prepared for him. “Come on out.”
With a nervous gulp, Michael shambled out of the tent. He stood in front of them in a long flowing white dress with a small gold necklace and earrings to match, and slippers. He looked the other way, brushing the hair out of his face. The girls looked at him, wide-eyed.
“Meet Michelle. A simple artisan who seeks to make it big in the light realm by sewing handbags. What do you think?” said Isabella.
“I think it’ll do,” Alexa said with a smile.
“…and may I say; I’m impressed by your openness to the idea,” Julianna said.
“Well, I didn’t expect I’d be wearing something this feminine.” Michael blushed, feeling the outlines of his undergarments press under his dress.
“You look beautiful!” Ursula commented.
“You think so?” Michael asked.
“Yes, you’re very pretty. Now, let’s go.” Alexa placed her hand on his back and gave him a gentle push to get going. The rest of the girls followed. With a blush, Michael nodded and started the walk, determined to face the man who played the trick on him.
The leering men on the village streets only made Michael feel worse this time.
“These creepy looks are so much worse when they’re directed at me. I have no idea how you girls do it.”
“You’re about to see how,” Julianna said as they walked back into the potion shop. “You, sir!” She pointed directly at the man at the counter.
The man looked up with amusement. The look on his face silently screamed, ‘It worked!’ He asked, “Something I can help you with?”
Julianna ran up to the counter and grabbed him by the tie of his vest. She slammed his face against the wooden table, scattering blood from his mouth. The whimpering man looked up at her in horror.
“Don’t get fucking smart with me. You just couldn’t handle the fact that our friend associates himself with demons, now could you?” Juliann shouted, “So, you turned him into a woman. For what? To get a good laugh? Well, the joke’s on you!”
Julianna looked at the terrified salesperson. “Now, you’re going to give me an antidote and a refund or I’ll burn this fucking place to the ground.”
The man grinned. “Go ahead and make your threats. Even if you dare to follow through, a woman like you would never last in prison.”
Julianna scoffed with derision. “That’s assuming they can catch me.”
The man looked at her, wide-eyed.
She turned around at the group. “Everyone, get out, or burn alive!” Michael and the girls scampered out of the shop. The occasional patron joined them in exit while most others in the shop hanged around with doubtful looks on their faces.
“You’re bluffing!” said the man.
“Assassins don’t bluff about these sorts of things. It’s your funeral,” Julianna said, grinning.
A harsh orange glow broke in through the window along with the smell of smoke. A crackling sound caught the man’s attention as the fire began catching from the canopy outside the shop.
“What’s this?”
He walked towards the flame to investigate. The fire spread to the walls and ceiling too. The remaining patrons rushed out with screams of terror.
This can’t be, he thought. Those damn demons.
The inferno grew into chaos, claiming everything in its way as it traveled onto the bookshop and wand shop on either side.
Julianna walked through the debris, unscratched, hurling gas lamps to feed the fire on her way out.
“Not very subtle for an assassin.” Alexa looked around, watching the city collapse under the fire of Julianna’s vendetta.
“There’ll be no evidence once the bodies are burnt to ash,” Julianna replied.
She then handed Michael a potion.
“Take this.”
“What is it?” Michael asked.
“It’s a nullify potion. As it suggests, it undoes any potion you took within the last twenty-four hours,” said Julianna.
“That’s gotta be expensive!” said Michael.
“Yes, usually five hundred gold. This one’s on me. Well, technically on the store, since I stole it at the last second,” Julianna said, as the fire burst in size, roaring as the melted flesh of the shop owner peered through the crumbled wood remains.
“Glad I’m not that bastard.” Michael thought.
The potions within the shop spilled from their shattered casings, forming pools of runoff in the alleyways. Slowly, the effects of all the potions from the shop began to take effect on the village: humans turned to frogs, water turned to blood, what remained of the townspeople killed each other in a psychotic rage, and the village became plagued with cattle and bears. All this while fire and ice rained from the sky.
Michael and the girls marveled at the disarray filling the streets. They huddled up to shield themselves from getting infected.
“One more thing. You should take it when you get home,” said Julianna.
A mess of giant black-bear-wolf hybrids covered in blood ran through the town. Flying books, blades, and other objects followed, each coming from various directions, as minuscule vegetation protruded from the ground.
“Sounds like a plan,” Michael said, noticing his skin turn purple and green as boils formed on it. The side effects of the many potions spilling through the streets sank in. His heart thundered out of control.
“Let’s make it quick before he gets worse,” said Isabella.
The group ran back to their campsite, arriving just as the moon began to hang in the sky by i
tself, leaving the village in its carnivalesque and catastrophic state behind.
Thirty minutes passed before they sat around the table, looking at the strangest Michael they’d ever seen: morphed skin, a whole different gender, and animal-like features.
“Whenever you’re ready, Michael,” Ursula said.
“I’m not sure I can reach,” he replied through swollen cheeks, as the thick boils and fur around his arms kept his arms from bending towards him.
“Apologies. Let me help.”
Julianna emptied the flask down Michael’s mouth. A massive burst of light covered him the moment Michael gulped the last of it, blinding the girls for a moment before revealing him in his original state.
“You’re back!” Isabella said before jumping into a tight embrace with him. “And you’re still wearing those clothes.”
“I’ll be sure to change. Into my old clothes, I mean,” Michael said with a nervous laugh. “Though, I must say; they’re rather comfortable. Rather, they were when my body better fit them.”
He crossed his legs with embarrassment.
“You really are strange.” Ursula laughed.
“Coming from someone who sniffs people,” said Julianna.
“It’s how we say hello in the first dimension,” Ursula insisted.
“That aside, it’s strange none of us was affected by any other potions,” said Isabella.
“I’ve heard rumors of a potion on the black market that absorbs the effects of any other potions once someone drinks it. It prevents any others from getting ill. They call it the black sheep potion,” said Julianna.
“How fitting for me.” Michael smiled.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Said Ursula. “And that you’re able to keep that sense of humor through all this.”
“Of course. So long as I’ve got you guys and the shop owner is burning away, what is there to be bitter about?” Michael replied.
The girls shared a laugh.
“Feeling ready to quit drinking and focus on regaining your memories now?” Alexa asked.
Michael looked back at the four of them and smiled back.
“I sure am.”
Chapter 6
Dragged Down Memory Lane
A
n expanse of darkness surrounded Michael. It was devoid of sound, but for the howling wind past him and his heightened heartbeat. Michael looked around the entrapment of endless blackness. He waved his hand forward to ensure there were no obstacles and took a cautious step forward before walking on. He moved aimlessly into what seemed to be eternal nothingness when the sound of disembodied murmurs faded into his ears.
“Become the real you,” a voice whispered.
“Leave this you behind and embrace the true you,” said another voice.
The haunting whispers with a common message grew into torturous distortion. Michael didn’t even realize his cautious walk had turned into a frenzied sprint for his safety, fighting to escape the torturing howls in his mind.
“Shut up. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m me. Michael. That’s it.” He covered his ears as he ran, hoping to block out the voices.
“No, Michael. You’re not who you think you are, but another person, entirely,” said another voice.
“I have no idea what that even means. Fuck off! Just leave me alone!” Michael shouted.
He stopped in his tracks, met now by a materializing shadow of demonic faces. They grinned maliciously from every direction, like a prison with no escape.
“Embrace yourself, Michael. For it is only through reconciliation that you may find any salvation.”
“Damn it. Just shut up,” Michael screamed as he fell to his knees.
“Hey, Michael? Earth to Michael?” said Ursula.
He suddenly realized someone was calling out to him and he turned around, only to find himself far from any dream. The world around him had now transformed into a woodland where he saw Ursula and the other girls.
“Hey, are you alright?” Ursula asked.
“Yeah, sorry. I guess I got lost in my thoughts,” said Michael, realizing he’d dozed off again. He took a sigh of relief.
She and the other girls looked at him with visible concern as they continued walking through the forest in search of firewood.
“You seem to daydream a lot these days,” said Isabella.
“Yeah, things have been a bit weird for me, lately. I guess it’s because I haven’t been drinking anymore,” Michael said, collecting his thoughts.
“I know things can’t be easy for you now, but we’re proud of you. You’ve gone a whole week without drinking and we’d like to celebrate with a bonfire tonight,” Julianna said, resting her hand on his shoulder.
He looked over at her and smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“No problem at all,” she said, smiling back.
“Anyway, do you guys have any idea what you want to eat tonight?” Alexa asked.
“Oh, I have an idea,” Julianna said, snickering.
“Really? What did you have in mind?” Unamused, Michael looked at her. He knew exactly what she was going to say.
“How about a nice roasted black bear,” Julianna said with a laugh. Isabella joined in on the laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Ursula inquired as she and Alexa looked at them, confused. Isabella and Julianna whispered something in their ears. Michael didn’t have to hear it to know they were talking about his history with black bears. The girls looked at him and giggled.
“Hilarious, guys. I told you that in secrecy. And for the record, that baby bear was way stronger than it led on,” said Michael. The girls burst out with laughter as they pointed at him. “It’s not that funny, guys.”
As Alexa’s laughter dwindled, she placed her hand on his shoulder, hoping to say something that could distract her from the amusement that coursed through her. She succumbed to even more laughter that she could do nothing about.
“I preferred when we were talking about my drinking problems,” Michael muttered to himself.
“Alright, I’m sorry. But if it’s true a couple of bears beat you, you and I have to battle again. I can’t allow myself to share in your shame,” said Alexa.
“Glad to know you’re worried about how I feel,” Michael said with a dim-eyed glare. “Although, a rematch isn’t all that important at the moment.”
“Unless you want to get your ass kicked for a second time.” Julianna snickered.
“Do you want to get your ass kicked?” Alexa tightened her hand into her fist with eyes flaring in Julianna’s direction.
“Michael’s right,” Isabella began, “We’ve got bigger things to worry about, like preparing a counterstrike against the legion of Morningstar.”
Michael gulped, remembering he still hadn’t told them.
“That’s a good point. We have no clue when they may strike. Though with four titans against their two, we should be fine,” said Ursula.
“Just in case though, we should recruit some extra teammates. Maybe some black bears,” said Isabella.
She and the girls burst into laughter again. It didn’t bother Michael this time as he drowned in guilt and fear for not disclosing his encounter with Lucifer yet.
Why haven’t I told them? Am I afraid?
He could only recall the demonic faces from his previous dream. He shuttered at the memory of them. He couldn’t take it any longer. When he turned towards the girls, their faces morphed into the very faces in his dream.
“Michael?” Isabella asked.
“Hey, we’re sorry. We’ll stop making fun of you. Really,” said Julianna.
His vision faded. His breathing heightened as he prepared to storm into the woods, as far away from them as possible.
“Just where do you think you’re going?”
Michael’s heart raced as the grip of his nightmares took hold. He looked over his shoulder, seeing Alexa’s worry-ridden face. His breathing slowly calmed.
“Just what’s
your deal? Are you really that enamored by a silly joke you’d try running away like a child?”
Michael looked at their faces, seeing they had returned to normal. He took a deep breath and smiled.
“My apologies. I’ll try to build thicker skin,” he said.
…and hopefully, fast. I can’t keep hiding this secret from them forever.
“No, I think we should just try to refrain from teasing you. Funny as it is.” Ursula covered the snicker coming from her mouth.
“Don’t worry about it,” Michael replied in a startled state. “Besides, we’re making terrible progress with wood collecting.”
“Well, that’s because you’re hardly contributing,” Ursula said, looking at the lone twig in his hand. The rest of the girls laughed.
“Yeah, is that all you can carry?” Alexa said, annoyed.
“Maybe all the whiskey numbed his muscles?” Ursula suggested.
“That makes no sense,” Julianna replied.
“Clearly, you’ve never been drunk,” Ursula said with a grin.
Michael only realized how much wood the girls carried. Each of them held considerable amounts of logs on their shoulders. He looked down at the single twig in his hand and frowned, realizing he’d allowed his nightmares to distract him.
“Sorry. I guess the wood collecting got away from me with all my dozing off.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Ursula said, smiling.
“Really. To thank you for the other day, let me take care of the wood. I’ll even handle the hunting,” Michael said.
“You? Hunting?” Isabella smirked.
“I think you mean getting hunted,” Julianna joked.
“You walked into that one, I’m afraid.” Alexa laughed.
Michael groaned. “Laugh all you want, but I’m serious.”
“Michael, do you have any idea what you’re even saying? You can’t handle wood collecting and hunting on your own. Even with all of us, it could take hours upon hours,” said Isabella.
Michael smiled. “Perhaps that was true before. Now that I’ve realized my abilities as the archangel, I think I can get it done in five minutes.”