by Nikki Landis
I watched him walk away and slide into the driver’s side of the car as my heart did a funny little lurch. That boy was the one good thing I did right in my entire fucked-up life. He was the reason I kept on breathing and didn’t give into the dark shit that could easily pull me under.
If his mother were still alive, she’d have my ass for the freedom I gave him. Colter came and went as much as he wanted. I rarely said a word as long as he kept his grades up.
I loved that he’d grown up to be such a strong, independent, charismatic young man.
A son I was proud of and loved more than anything else on this earth and that included my Harley and my club. Just a few more months and he would graduate.
What the fuck was I gonna do if he decided to move out?
I wasn’t ready for that shit.
“Papa.”
I blinked, staring across the table in the chapel of the Crossroads as Grim gave me one of his knowing smirks. “Yeah?”
I’d been caught reliving my past again.
Memories popped up at the worst times and I didn’t always have the will to block them, especially if they were about Colter before the accident.
“Need your input.”
Nodding, I swept the past into the back of my mind and focused on the present.
“I’m listening.”
“The Denali Brothers are expanding business ventures and wanted us to know their various interests. Guess our last conversation helped convince them we meant business.”
“That’s because Rael drilled a hole in Vince’s cheek. Antonio nearly pissed himself when Rael threatened to come after him next.”
Grim let out a dark chuckle. “Served those fuckers right. They should have come clean when the Scorpions were messing with our shipments and deliveries.”
“I don’t think it’s a lesson they’re forgetting anytime soon.”
Grim shrugged. “Not my concern. If they forget their place again the Crossroads has an excellent motivational training program in the basement. Better than prison.”
Fuck. That was no lie. “With Warden Rael. Crazy fucker.”
We both had a good laugh at that.
“So what gives? Vince and Antonio thinking of taking on more business? We don’t need those trucks compromised with the cargo we’re pushin’.”
“No, I agree.” Grim scrubbed his hand over his face. “Private investigators for one. That shit could be useful to the club. There are a few things I want to bring to table. Church is tomorrow and I want you there.”
“Done.”
“I also need to know what you think about switching our business ventures into other less illegal franchises.”
“You want to cut ties with Guerrero Cartel? Salazar is one mean motherfucker. He’s not gonna like that,” I warned.
“No, not completely but I’d like to scale down a little. To be honest, I need to fuckin’ think about the future of this club. I’ve got a kid on the way, brother. Bodie and Sasha have a new baby. Brothers have ol’ ladies to protect and families. Shit with the Scorpions and the Black Market Railroad is bad enough. Pushin’ drugs to NOLA is just another risk I don’t want to continue long term.”
“I hear you. I do, Grim. Just need to know what direction you’re thinking.”
“Bonds, debts, repo, more legal than drugs and stolen goods. Guns are mostly the past for us now. Took a long fuckin’ time to get here. I don’t want to raise my son to grow up and deal with the same shit as his old man. You feel me?”
“Yeah, I got you, pres.”
“Which brings me to the other idea.”
Ah, here it comes. “Hope’s Refuge.”
Most of the members knew I was involved with the Ghost program. A few had been interested but nobody formally asked to become involved before today. It wasn’t my call though.
“You know I can’t say. It’s not my creation. Mercy makes that call.”
“Precisely. It’s his gig. I get that. Think you can set up a meet?”
“Sure. I can find out if he’s planning to come this way soon.”
“Good. Appreciate it, brother.”
“I know.” Tugging on my beard, I was deep in thought. “Ghosts are all over the U.S. We never know the identity of one another. That’s how the setup works. Mercy is the liaison. Not sure how he’s gonna take to this but it’s worth a shot.”
Grim let out a slow breath and leaned back in his chair. “He know what we are?”
“I gave full disclosure when I signed on. So yeah.”
“Then he can’t be disappointed with the idea of having a dozen more Reapers to take on the abusers and rapists of the world. Fuck. We’re already knee deep in the shit with the Black Market Railroad. This business move makes sense. I hope he can see it that way.”
“You never know,” I agreed. “It would be a wise move for Mercy. Hope’s Refuge could use all the help it can get.”
“I’m gonna present this in Church. Don’t be late.”
I rose to my feet, ticking my head in his direction. “I’ll swing by my club when I’m ready.”
“Fucker,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Always a smartass.”
“You know it,” I called over my shoulder, chuckling as I walked away.
A couple of hours later I stood on the front porch of the Parker house, balancing a pizza box in one hand and a few grocery bags in the other that contained salad mix, a 2-liter of soda, and beer. Couldn’t have the pizza without the beer. That shit wasn’t right. Preferred skipping the rabbit food too but women usually liked the stuff, and I was all about giving Bess what she wanted, whether she knew it or not.
I managed to ring the doorbell and heard running footsteps followed by a squeal when Noah peeked out the window before opening the door. Smart kid.
“Let me in, son. I brought dinner.”
Noah threw the door open wide as Bess gasped and I strode in, greeting them both with a booming “hello.”
“Pizza!” he exclaimed excitedly.
With one booted foot, I kicked the door shut behind me and ticked my head toward the dining room table. “Let’s eat,” I announced. “I’m starving.”
Bess looked a little taken aback but she didn’t refuse. Good.
“Go grab some plates and forks, Noah.”
He helped his mother set the table as I tried to clean off my boots before I walked further into the house. I noticed how clean it was the last time I was here. Little knickknacks and shit were scattered around along with vases of flowers and splashes of color. Fuck. I lived pretty plain, and dark compared to this.
It wasn’t long before we were eating, and I noticed there was something this house was missing.
Clearing my throat, I chased my bite of pizza with a long pull from my beer. Bess was chewing on her own slice but also had a salad in front of her. Noah was eating both as well. Obviously, I was the only one with an aversion to the veggies.
I sat back, watching them both with a contentment that was hard to ignore. “There’s some place I’d like to take you both after we eat.”
Bess’s eyebrows lifted. “Where?”
I winked at Noah. “It’s a surprise.”
He smiled, pizza sauce dripping down his chin.
“Wipe your face, Noah.” Bess handed him a napkin before directing a question my way. “I don’t know about this, Jayce.”
Leaning forward, I cupped my hand to block Bess from seeing my mouth move like I was about to tell Noah a secret. “I don’t think she understands what a surprise is.”
He giggled. “Nope. No one gives her surprises.”
“You should tell her why they’re good so she knows.”
I sat back as Bess rolled her eyes at me.
“Mama, surprises are great because they give you happiness in your heart and your belly. They make you smile, and your smile is the best.”
Wow. This kid was something else.
I caught the tender look Bess sent him as she blinked rapidly. “I think you’re ri
ght, Booga.”
As they finished eating, I sipped on my beer, trying hard not to focus all my attention on the tight red top Bess was wearing or the way it stretched across her chest, revealing the creamy luster of her skin in the light. My mouth watered at the sight and my Reaper urged me to spring from my chair, pick her up, take her into the bedroom, and fuck her until she no longer denied the attraction between us.
I felt like a perv staring at her tits and ass whenever her eyes weren’t locked with my own. Couldn’t help it. Honestly, I should have cared. She was a mother. Not to mention she was young enough to be my own daughter. Twenty years between the two of us. Did that stop me?
Fuck no.
Only made me want her more.
This entire situation was so out of character for me that I didn’t know what to make of it. My Reaper had been oddly content since she popped into my life and it made me wonder if I was going crazy or senile or if the devil was fucking with me somehow.
Maybe a little bit of it all.
She was sexy and graceful in her movements, gentle with her son and fiercely protective. My body felt alive around her like I’d been coasting through life in shades of gray and when she appeared everything burst into color. No longer muted or dull. Vibrant, radiant, and full of light now.
I placed my empty bottle on the table when something caught my attention by the window. A shadow in my peripheral that instantly put me on edge. We weren’t alone.
“Be right back,” I announced. “Gonna make a call while you finish up.”
Bess nodded, helping Noah clear the table.
I slipped outside as I let my Reaper rise to the surface. Hissing in a deep breath I listened for any sounds that were out of place. Footsteps caught my attention when I noticed someone was running. I took off fast, ready to cut off whoever had been on the property when one of the neighbors jogged past the house.
I lifted a hand and waved, placing a smile on my face to prevent suspicion. Someone who wasn’t supposed to be here had been in the yard. Shoe prints were close to the windowsill a few feet from where we had been eating. Stale smoke from a cigar still lingered in the air along with a heavy dose of cheap cologne. My upper lip curled into a snarl and I searched every inch of the yard and outside the house to be certain nothing was out of place, missing, or tampered with.
Nothing.
I knew I didn’t imagine the whole thing and that meant I’d be watching Bess and Noah even more than I did now. In fact, I was going to make sure I was here every single day in case someone was planning to show up and cause trouble.
“Jayce?”
Bess was calling to me from the front porch.
“Coming, sugar!”
I didn’t like the feeling that settled over my skin, a hint of something sinister looming on the horizon. Feeling far more protective than I should, I stomped toward the house on a mission.
One – keep Bess and Noah safe.
Two – kiss the sexy single mom tonight.
I’d have to buy some mistletoe to bring over tomorrow. That kiss wasn’t going to be the last.
“Christmas trees!” Noah shouted, his eyes big and round. “Yes!”
“Wait for us, Noah,” Bess admonished as Noah opened the car door and slid from the seat.
He was hopping from foot to foot as we joined him and I reached for Bess’s hand, intertwining our fingers as we began walking forward.
“You know what to look for?” I asked, getting a kick out of how excited the kid seemed.
“Yeah. A big one!”
“Now, hold on.” We reached the lot and Noah was glancing around at the lights strung up on poles that sectioned off the trees. “Not too thin or too many gaps between the branches. Not too tall so it will fit inside your house. Watch for too many needles on the ground. Got it?”
“Yes, Santa.”
“Alright. Don’t go out of our line of sight.”
“What’s that?”
“Line of sight means I can see you and you can see me from wherever you are. If you can’t see me or your mom, you’ve gone too far.”
Noah nodded.
“Go find us a tree!” I shouted, laughing when he shot off in front of us.
Bess opened her mouth and then closed it again. A smile lingered on her lips. “You’re good with him. I’m impressed.”
“I had practice.” Saying that took a lot. I was giving a part of myself to her and she didn’t know what it cost. Not a single soul ever asked me about Colter and that was because I’d made it clear years ago that I couldn’t handle it. Why I felt I could finally talk about it now, I wasn’t sure. Still caused havoc in my head and hurt like hell but when I gazed into Bess’s eyes, I saw a kindred spirit who could understand and share my pain.
“You’ll have to tell me about that someday.” She wisely sensed there was more, and this wasn’t the place for it.
I squeezed her hand as we strolled through the lot, patiently trailing behind Noah as he spent the next thirty minutes deciding on the perfect tree. He finally found one and jumped up and down excitedly as we approached.
“Wow!” Bess smiled wide. “It’s beautiful.”
“Well done, son. You did good.”
Noah beamed with pride and strutted around as I nodded to the salesman.
“We’ll take this one.”
Bess tried to protest but I paid for the tree and we loaded into the bed of my truck. I’d purposely taken the cage because I didn’t want to scratch her car. Once we were back in the car, I pretended to be cold.
“Sure is chilly. I could use some hot chocolate. What about you, Noah?”
“Yes!”
Bess shook her head but relented. “Fine. Just this once.”
I winked at Noah through the mirror and went through McDonald’s. Before I handed over his drink, I reached into the glove compartment and pulled out the package of candy canes I picked up the day before. Unwrapping one, I stuck it into his hot chocolate.
Just the way Colter used to love his own.
“This is the best way to drink hot cocoa around the holidays,” I announced. “Trick is to let the candy cane melt into your drink but it’s okay to sneak a few licks now and then.”
“Awesome! This is the best night ever.”
Bess shot me a look. “He won’t sleep tonight with all that sugar.”
“Don’t worry. I have a plan for that.”
Bess didn’t seem convinced, but I drove to Walmart and parked. Two pairs of eyes stared with curiosity.
“Well, we have a tree, but we need to decorate it, right?”
Noah’s mouth dropped open with awe. “Wow, you really are Santa.”
I couldn’t help a laugh. “All that training, remember?”
Didn’t take long to purchase what we needed and wanted and then I drove back home. I didn’t bother to park in my driveway. I was making a statement and one I hoped Bess would understand.
Noah left the car and began unloading bags as I reached for her hand.
“I know this seems like a lot. I’m not trying to make you feel pressured, but I really wanted to do this for the both of you tonight. It means a lot to me.”
Bess raised her hand, and her fingers caressed my beard. Her touch felt like velvet and my eyes closed briefly. “You’re not at all what I expected, Jayce.”
“I hope that’s good.”
Amusement danced in those eyes I was beginning to adore. “Yes. For you, it’s very good.”
Leaning in, I took my chance and pressed my lips to hers. The connection fused together our mouths and I groaned low in my throat, needing to taste her more and knowing it was too much and too soon. Cupping her face, I deepened the kiss even when I knew Noah could see. Kid wasn’t stupid. He needed to see I felt something special with his mama.
“Santa! You kissed Mama!”
I broke the kiss, nearly panting with desire and something far more potent. “I sure did, son.”
His laughter echoed around us as he finished c
arrying bags of ornaments and garland up to the house. Took a lot of trips with one arm in a cast but he didn’t complain. We exited the car, and I unloaded the tree, heaving it into the house with an impressive strength that could only come from my Reaper.
Once inside, we began opening boxes and packages while Bess found holiday music to play on her phone. Noah was so excited he hung ornaments too close together and clustered on the same part of the tree, but I didn’t correct him. Bess never said a word. Her eyes filled with tears as she watched her son and if I wasn’t already feeling something strong for this woman, I was sure that moment would have done it.
I’d bought a big plastic tote with a red lid and we placed all the boxes inside so when the tree came down, we could store it all for next year. The final thing to add was the star. Memories flashed in my head of all the years I helped Colter place the star on top, but I didn’t leave the present to dwell on it. My heart was full and happy, and for once I let myself enjoy the moment without adding more heartache.
“Hey, Booga.”
He glanced upward, smiling from ear to ear. “Yeah?”
“The most important part is last. We need to place the star on top. Can you help me with that?” I handed him the star and ticked my head, indicating where he should place it. I picked him up by the waist and he popped the star on like he’d done it a hundred times before. When I set him down, his arms surrounded my waist.
“You’re the best Santa. I know what I’m asking for Christmas.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I can’t tell you because the magic won’t work.”
“That’s okay. I don’t want to lose the magic either.”
We turned off all the lights in the house and plopped down on the couch. I sat in the middle and both Bess and Noah leaned over, placing their heads on my shoulders. It was natural to surround them with my arms as they snuggled closer. We watched the lights twinkle in bright colors as the minutes slowly ticked by. None of us spoke for so long I thought maybe they’d both fallen asleep.
“He’s out,” Bess whispered, lifting her head. “He had a wonderful night thanks to you. I don’t know how to express my gratitude, Jayce. You’re walked into our lives in a whirlwind and I wasn’t sure a big biker was what we needed with all that’s happened to us.” She moved onto her knees and then pressed a kiss to my whiskered cheek. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to us since we moved here. Thank you for your kindness.”