by J. L. Wilder
“I mean, she left. Up and left with no warning, but she’s the darling and I’m the pariah.”
“That’s a big word. Don’t hurt yourself.”
Leslie slapped the table with an open hand and Axe jumped. His beer sloshed over the rim of the glass, spilling down his shirt.
“Damn it, Leslie! What’s got your fur in a bunch? Kiki isn’t Pack. It’s not like she’s going to compete for Omega. You’re in no worse position now than you were yesterday.”
Leslie gestured to the bar where Kiedra laughed at something Roland said.
“He doesn’t talk to me like that. I’ve been here my whole life. Been part of the Pack since my first change when I was five. I’ve been to birthday parties at their house, celebrated the ups and downs of the Pack in their home, but Roland never talks to me like that. What makes her so special?”
Axe let his gaze follow Leslie’s gesture. Kiedra laughed up at Roland, her eyes bright, her smile genuine. Axe’s chest tightened when Kiedra lay her hand on Roland’s arm.
He let his mind wander back to earlier days, simpler times. He and Kiedra playing in the creek that ran beside Sylvia’s house. The water sparkling on her long, dark hair. The way she grinned at him behind Mamma’s back when they got caught tracking mud through the house following an epic mud battle. Her eyes when she stood beside the taxi that took her to the airport the day she left for college. All these images swirled together in Axe’s mind, roiling with the emotions attached.
Leslie smacked Axe’s shoulder, jerking him out of his reminiscences.
“Are you listening, asshole?”
“What? No. I’m not listening to you.” Axe stood, grasping his half-empty beer. “Give it up, Leslie. Kiki isn’t here to make you miserable. You’re the only one who can do that.”
Axe walked to the bar, leaving Leslie staring after him.
KIEDRA glanced at the table where Axe and Leslie talked. Roland cleared his throat and she snapped her gaze back to the older man.
“He’s missed you, you know.”
“I know.” Kiedra sipped her drink.
“There are a lot of us who have missed you, Kiki. Even this old man.”
Kiedra smiled. “I know you’re fishing, Roland, but I also know you value honesty.”
“Right on both counts. What’s it all mean?”
Kiedra sighed. “Honestly, I haven’t thought of Whiteridge, or the Pack, since I got on the plane to go to Washington five years ago. It’s like, once I left, my life here disappeared.”
“Are you...you really didn’t think of us?”
“I really didn’t.”
Roland took a deep drink of his beer and frowned at the glass when it was empty. He avoided Kiedra’s eyes until the bartender put a new beer in front of him.
“You know, when you were a child, the Pack officially adopted you.”
“I remember. It was a party that went on for a few days.”
“Well, all of that wasn’t for you, you know. Some of it was for Hawk’s first voluntary change. That rite of passage is important to a wolf.”
Kiedra laughed. “See, I thought I was just that special.”
Roland patted her arm. “You’ve always been special, Kiki.”
“Well, thank you, Roland, but what does that big party have to do with my spotty memory?”
Roland tapped his fingers on the bar. Kiedra let the silence stretch out, unwilling to interrupt him or make him change his mind about what he was debating telling her. Finally, he shook his head.
“It’s nothing, I guess. Nothing that will change anything. I suppose you’ll go back to Seattle when this is all over?”
“That was the plan. My boss said I could have as much time as I needed, but I think after a couple of weeks he’ll start looking for my replacement.”
“Then I hope you’ll spend some time enjoying Whiteridge and the Pack. Reconnect with friends and whatnot. Maybe let an old man take you to dinner?”
Kiedra patted Roland’s hand. “I’d really like that, Roland.”
Axe set his beer glass on the bar behind Roland with a crash and both Roland and Kiedra jumped. Roland twisted on his stool.
“Axe, good to see you. I hope you’ll be treating Kiki to all the sites that have sprung up in Whiteridge in the past five years.”
“Yes, sir. I mean to take her to the Dairy Queen at least once a day so she can be stunned by its beauty.”
Kiedra laughed out loud, drawing the attention of most of the bar patrons. She smiled up at Axe while Roland looked between the two. A secretive smile played along Roland’s lips. He sipped his beer and stepped down from his barstool.
“I’m going to leave you young’uns alone and go drink with my son.” He leaned down and kissed Kiedra’s cheek. “I’ll call over to Sylvia’s house to set up that dinner tomorrow, okay?”
“I look forward to it.”
Roland crossed the room to take a seat at the table with Hawk, leaving his back toward the bar. Hawk glared over his father’s shoulder at Kiedra who offered her sweetest smile before stepping down from her own barstool.
She put several bills on the bar, grabbed Axe’s arm, and pulled him toward the exit.
KIEDRA pushed Axe through the door leading to the parking lot and punched him in the shoulder as he turned to face her.
“Hey! What the hell was that for?”
“That’s for being a crazy asshole! What the hell are you thinking? Hawk is going to kill you.”
Axe rubbed his shoulder. “You could have a little faith in me, you know. I wouldn’t have thrown my hat in the ring if I hadn’t thought I had a chance.”
Kiedra shook her head and leaned against the front of Axe’s truck. He leaned beside her. He took her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers.
“I didn’t think you were coming back, you know,” Axe said.
“So you thought you’d get yourself killed?”
“I don’t plan to die. I might even win, you know.”
Kiedra snorted.
“ Hey. A little faith in me isn’t too much to ask.” Axe crossed his arms over his chest. “You left, remember. Without even a Christmas card once in five years. I had to move on and let’s face it, none of the women around here are interested in me. Not with Hawk and his minions looking like they just stepped out of some fitness magazine. I finally figured the best way for me to get married and have kids would be to step up when the next Contest came around.”
“So you...you want to marry the Omega? Who is it?”
Axe shrugged. “No idea yet. Another one of those annoying mystical things about being a wolf is imprinting, but only when you have the power to back it up.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Look, Kiki, there were a lot of details Roland made us keep from you because you’re not really Pack.”
Kiedra jerked as though Axe had hit her.
“Well, then I guess I don’t need the details. Good luck in the Contest. I hope you don’t die.”
Kiedra pushed off the front of the truck and started toward the bar. If he wanted to be an ass, Kiedra was fine with it. She’d ask Roland to drive her out to Sylvia’s place. Axe grabbed her arm, spinning her into his body.
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Axe said.
Kiedra shook her head. “You didn’t.”
Axe looked down at her and Kiedra’s heart thumped heavily in her chest. Those blue eyes of his ramped up every nerve in her body and she realized she was pressed against him from shoulder to hip.
Axe met Kiedra’s gaze and smiled. She felt an undeniable urge to match his smile, but as the corners of her mouth lifted, Axe leaned in for a kiss. Kiedra put her hand on his chest and leaned back.
“Whoa! What the hell are you doing?” she asked.
“I thought? But you seemed like....”
“Like what? You’re about to get yourself killed. The last thing I want to do is get any more attached to you.”
Axe blinked slowly. “W
ow.”
Axe backed away and Kiedra’s heart clenched. She reached for him.
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Axe.”
“You didn’t,” he said, his pouting lips putting lie to his words.
“Look, the only memories I have of you are as a skinny kid who could barely hold up his own head. Even on full moons...well, you were never a big guy.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
Axe pulled the truck keys from his pocket and headed for the driver’s side. He got in the truck and cranked it up, leaving Kiedra staring after him.
After a moment, Axe honked the horn and leaned out the window.
“Do you want a ride home or not?”
Kiedra circled the truck to the passenger side and stepped up into the 4-wheel drive monster.
Axe put the truck in gear. “Put on your seat belt,” he barked.
Kiedra buckled the strap across her body as Axe jerked the truck out of the parking lot and onto the road.
AXE pulled the truck to a stop in front of Sylvia’s house. Kiedra stared at the peeling paint and broken banister gracing the front porch. From her memories, she pulled the last sight of this house she’d had as the taxi had pulled away to take her to the airport.
“What happened here? Where are the shrubs? Mamma’s flower garden? The pristine paint job she made us put on the porch every summer?”
Tears burned Kiedra’s eyes as she opened the truck door and stepped down. She stood, open-mouthed, unable to look away from the ruin of the house she’d grown up in. Gone was the gingerbread trim she’d once thought made the house the most beautiful in town. When she looked for the shrubs that had once surrounded the house, Kiedra found the rotted remains of the trim lying in piles next to the foundation. Windows showed cracks in many of the panes and the screen door hung by one hinge.
Axe joined her at the foot of the broken stairs leading up to the porch, her overnight bag thrown over his shoulder.
“I don’t know,” Axe said.
Kiedra shot him a look and he raised a hand to ward off the anger she felt boiling up from somewhere deep inside.
“You don’t know? How could you not know? She’s your aunt! Your blood family. I get it if you don’t think I deserve your consideration—I asked for that when I left—but Mamma−”
“Hey, hold on. I came out here every week to take care of the lawn and the garden until she told me not to.”
“And you listened to her?” Kiedra wanted to punch him. “How could you let her keep you away? She’s an old woman. Who did you think was taking care of her? Of the house? Of the farm, you jerk? Was she out on the tractor, plowing the fields and harvesting the crops?”
Kiedra leaned closer and closer, poking Axe in the chest with each point until Axe had backed his way up the stairs to the front door. The screen door crashed to the porch when his back touched it. Kiedra let out a startled yelp and then cursed. She bent down to pick up the screen door.
Axe watched her, anger and sadness warring in his heart. Anger won out.
“You’ve got some nerve!”
Kiedra’s head snapped up. “What?”
“You heard me, Kiki. You’ve got some nerve blaming me for this. YOU left. You got in a taxi, got on a plane, and never looked back. Not once. YOU walked away from an awful lot and you have no remorse.”
“That’s not true.”
Axe raised an eyebrow. “Really?” He shrugged Kiedra’s bag off his shoulder and slammed it to the floor beside her.
“Oh, you’re right. I forgot about the phone calls and visits. Oh, wait. There weren’t any. NONE in five years, Kiki. You broke Mamma’s heart and I’m to blame for this?”
Kiedra’s throat closed over a hard knot. She sat on the porch and let her shoulders slump. When she looked up at Axe, she felt the tears slide down her face.
Axe shook his head. “Damn it, Kiki,” he whispered. He reached for Kiedra, but she held him off with an upraised hand.
“No, don’t. You’re right. I left. And the minute I passed the town limits, every thought of this place left me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t call or send cards or visit because I forgot Whiteridge. I forgot Mamma and Roland and Hawk and....”
“And?” Axe prompted.
“And you.”
Axe stuttered before snapping his mouth shut. He sat on the floor across the broken screen door from Kiedra and kept shaking his head.
“You forgot me? Completely?”
Kiedra nodded. “Until I saw you in the hospital, I hadn’t thought of you in five years. Your name was just there when I saw you, but it had been wiped out before then. Along with every moment of my life before I left.”
“That’s not possible,” Axe said.
“I don’t expect you to believe me....”
Axe grabbed Kiedra’s arm as she tried to get up from the porch floor.
“That’s not what I meant.” Axe pulled Kiedra to his side and put an arm around her shoulders as she cried.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Axe. You were my best friend, my only confidant, and I left and never looked back.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“You’re just being kind now.”
“No, really, I’m not. I’m thinking maybe you’re more Pack than any of us believed.”
Axe stood and pulled Kiedra up with him.
“Let’s go inside and see if the damage is as bad in there as it is out here. If it is, you’ll come stay with my family. If not, we can talk here.”
Kiedra let Axe take the keys from her and open the front door. The entrance way was clean and just as bare as Kiedra remembered. She reached in and flipped the switch to turn on the pendant light that hung from the second floor ceiling. The pale light wavered in the growing darkness coming in from outside. Axe and Kiedra looked around, their tension draining away as they turned on lights and revealed a well cared for home.
“Why didn’t she call you, or Roland, for that matter?” Kiedra asked.
“Pride, I guess. You know Mamma hated asking anyone for anything.”
“Yeah, anyone but us.”
“Well, yeah.” Axe ducked out the front door and scooped up Kiedra’s overnight bag. He held it up to her. “Where do you want this?”
“Living room. I think I’m going to stay down here. I’m not ready for anything above the stairs tonight.”
Axe sat on the ottoman in front of the couch, putting the bag on the floor beside him. He gestured to Kiedra to sit.
“What did you mean I might be more Pack than you thought?” Kiedra asked.
“Did you ever wonder why no one here ever leaves for longer than an afternoon?” Axe asked.
“I really hadn’t thought about it. What does it have to do with the Pack?”
“It’s a way the Pack protects itself. If you leave Whiteridge, you forget about it...all of it...until a member of the Pack reaches out to you. If you don’t remember, you can’t betray the Pack.”
“But I’m not Pack. You said it yourself. I’m just the....” Kiedra swallowed hard, dredging up the cruel name many of the kids she’d grown up with had thrown at her again and again. “I’m the mongrel the Pack picked up on the side of the road.”
Axe patted Kiedra’s leg and grinned. “You were never a mongrel.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“When did you remember, exactly?”
Kiedra thought for a moment. “When Roland called, it took a minute for me to realize who he was. As soon as I did, though, I remembered everything. Everything.”
Memories rushed in, submerging Kiedra in a warm feeling she hadn’t felt in years. Axe at seven, running from his father’s truck to Mamma’s front door, her name spilling from his lips before his feet hit the floor. Middle school dances when Axe first held her in his arms and swayed around the gym in time to the music. High school hallways where Axe held her hand to keep Hawk away. Senior prom and her big dress overshadowed by Axe i
n a vintage 1970s ruffled, pale blue tuxedo.
“That settles it,” Axe said.
“Settles what?”
“You’re Pack. It’s the only explanation. You forgot because the Pack made you forget.”
Kiedra shook her head. “I’m not Pack. You know I’m not. My parents weren’t...and I never−”
“You should talk to Roland about this, but I’m telling you, you’re Pack.” Axe’s grin stretched his lips to the limit, revealing nearly all his teeth.
“What are you grinning about?”
“You’re Pack! That’s great news.”
“Speak for yourself. I don’t know what it means.”
Axe’s grin grew even wider. “I do.”
Kiedra shot Axe a look. “What?”
“You can help me train.”
Chapter Three
Kiedra opened her eyes and was blinded by the morning light streaming in through the thread-bare curtains covering the living room windows. She blinked and pushed herself upright, squinting against the glare and wishing someone had made coffee for her.
She sniffed and her eyes snapped open. She smelled coffee. Dark, rich, and beautiful, the scent wafted out of the kitchen down the hall from the living room. That heavenly smell was followed by another, even more divine one—breakfast.
Kiedra got up and strolled toward the kitchen, unable to believe her luck. Coffee and food she hadn’t had to make herself? She thought she must still be dreaming until she stepped into the bright kitchen and found Axe at the stove, spatula in hand. He sang along with the music coming from his phone and flipped pancakes before sliding some bacon out of the pan and onto a plate covered in paper towels.
“Who is this domestic god, and what have you done with Axe?”
Axe turned and winked at Kiedra, deftly catching the pancake he’d just flipped with a flourish.
“I thought you might be hungry when you woke up.”
“I am, and don’t get me wrong, I love that you’re doing this, but how? The Axe I knew couldn’t make a bologna sandwich without losing a finger.”
Axe shrugged. “Things change.” He pointed to the table where plates, silverware, and mugs awaited. “I don’t know how you take your coffee and Mamma didn’t have any milk that hadn’t gone over. I put creamer and sugar on the table. Help yourself while I finish up the food.”