by J. L. Wilder
“You want to leave? Now? I thought we were sticking this out for the good of the Pack?”
“To hell with the Pack.”
Axe hugged her harder and Kiedra’s anger drained away. Reason returned, leaving her defeated and exhausted.
“Can we sit down?” she asked.
Axe led her to the couch and sat across from her in the wing chair. He crossed his right leg on his left knee. Kiedra watched the effects of the beers Axe drank at the bar drain away as he wrapped his befuddled brain around her demand. She gave him the time to come to himself, taking that time to settle her own turmoil.
She wanted to get in the car, drive to the airport, get on a plane and never look back. But she also wanted to do the right think for the Pack. Mamma had always instilled in her a sense of obligation to the Pack. It was a tough part of her heart that she hadn’t yet clawed out and burned.
“I thought you were dead set on making the best of this,” he said. “We talked about it last night.”
“What would happen if it came out that Hawk didn’t use whatever mystical hoo-ha Alphas use to choose the Omega, but picked me because he thought I had money?”
“It’s not possible.”
“Why not?”
Axe leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “When a man becomes Alpha, he’s not just saying he’s the strongest in the Pack, there’s a magical component to it. Part of the magic is the imprinting on the Omega. The Alpha feels an irresistible pull to the Omega. A pull so strong that it would be physically painful to the Alpha if he ignored the call and chose another woman.”
“Isn’t the Omega supposed to feel the same pull? Isn’t that why the Alpha/Omega relationships work?”
He nodded. “The legends say that’s how it works, but there have been a few Omegas who weren’t happy. The Alpha before Roland...his Omega ran away after a few months. No one has ever seen her again.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. The stories of their epic arguments are cautionary tales told to help our women be more careful in their choice of men. Pack men can...well, imagine a normal, testosterone-pumped teenage boy and multiply that hormone flood by one hundred.” Axe shook his head. “Puberty is hard enough without the extra adrenaline rushing through your body every full moon. Unfortunately, many of us—like Hawk—never outgrow that awkward, particularly violent stage.”
“How did you break out?”
“I had you in my life,” he said.
Kiedra waited for Axe to explain, but he remained silent.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered.
Axe stood and crossed to sit beside her on the couch. He put his arm around her and she leaned in, laying her head against his chest.
“At first it was just that if I was mean to you, you cried. It broke my heart every time. You’d screw up your face and your lip would tremble. Then the tears would start, but you stayed silent. Never made a sound when you cried.”
“I didn’t want Mamma to yell at you,” Kiedra said, looking up at Axe. “The first time...Do you remember? She screamed at you until I thought your ears might bleed. And then she didn’t let you come over for two weeks.”
“Longest two weeks of any summer of my life,” he said. He kissed the top of her head. “But that was when I realized that if I wanted to spend time with you, I had to control myself. Control my temper.”
“So you just stopped being controlled by your hormones? You should bottle that. You’d rule the world.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, it wasn’t that easy. Why do you think I ran cross country track? Long runs, by myself, were a great way to run the anger out of my system and keep my body tired enough that I could control my wolf.”
Axe’s hand moved up and down on Kiedra’s arm. She relaxed under his touch and lay still, listening to his heart beat under her ear. They remained like that, silently taking comfort in each other while memories rushed through her mind.
Axe running the paths through the woods to reach Mamma’s house, always more agile and better at navigation than she was. Axe standing guard while she wiped away the tears that had come when Alice had pushed her down in the playground at their elementary school. Axe stepping between her and danger every time it came to her door. And in every single memory, Axe had been calm. Collected. Nothing like he’d been since she returned.
She looked up at him again. “What changed?”
Kiedra sat up and locked her gaze with his. “Why are you different now?”
“Because I can’t have you. No matter what happens from now on, I’ve lost you. As much as I want to go to Seattle with you, I can’t. I know I can’t stay away from the Pack. Wolves need to be in the company of other wolves or we go mad.”
She shook her head and held up a hand. “Wait. You were different from the day I got here. More agitated. Quicker to anger.”
“True.”
“You didn’t know then that we’d be caught in this mess.”
“True again.”
“Then what? Why were you so fast to anger?”
“For the same reason. No one was certain you’d come back when Mamma called. Or that you’d want to stay. I still couldn’t have you. And I was bulking up to fight for Alpha. The weight lifting didn’t have the same calming effect that running had.”
“You didn’t take any steroids, did you? To bulk up?”
“Hell no. As dangerous as they are to humans, they’re more dangerous to us. Our metabolisms are twitchy about how medications and chemicals are treated. A wolf runs the risk of having ‘roid rage from even the smallest dose.”
“So what do we do now?” Kiedra asked.
“I think we call my father,” Hawk said from the living room doorway. “He should know that I’m not getting the fair chance the council called for.”
Kiedra popped up from the couch. “What are you doing in my house?”
“I wanted to apologize, but I think you’re the one who needs to be sorry.” He waved a hand toward the couch where Axe still sat. “What’s he doing here?”
“It’s really none of your business.”
“The hell it isn’t. You’re going to be my wife!”
“Hawk, let’s stop pretending that’s ever going to happen. You don’t want to marry me anymore than I want to marry you.”
“What we want doesn’t matter. We have to do what’s right for the Pack.”
“And you think this...” Kiedra waved a hand back and forth between them. “This is good for the Pack? To have their Alpha forcing a woman into marriage because he wants her money?”
“Do you really believe that?” Hawk asked.
“Drop the innocent act. You wanting my money makes far more sense than you getting a mystical message from the universe declaring me your soulmate.”
“You’re not my soulmate,” Hawk growled.
“That’s for sure as shit.”
Kiedra and Hawk stared each other down. Hawk blinked first.
“You coming to my dad’s or not?”
Axe stood up. “Not.” He went to Kiedra’s side. “We can meet with Roland at the end of the week in front of the council like we planned.”
“What about the promise you made to keep away from Kiki to give me a chance.”
Axe locked eyes with Hawk. “I think we can all agree that’s not necessary anymore.”
“Definitely,” Kiedra agreed.
“Then what’s the point in waiting a week?” Hawk asked.
“The Pack needs the ceremony of it all to accept whatever the outcome is. We’re going to give it to them.”
Hawk threw up his hands. “Whatever.” He turned to go out the front door, but stopped before he opened the door. He turned back to face Axe and Kiedra.
“Nothing ever changes with you two. No one else is allowed in, right? It’s been that way since elementary school.”
“Drop the ‘poor me’ act, Hawk,” Kiedra said. “No one’s buying it.”
Hawk shook his head and left.
“What
are we going to tell Roland in a week?” Kiedra asked.
Axe shrugged. “I have no idea, but something will come to us, I’m sure.”
Chapter Nine
Kiedra sat in her car, staring at the bank. She clutched the steering wheel like it was a life ring.
“What are you waiting for?” she whispered to herself. “It’s just a bank, for heaven’s sake.”
She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel. She still hadn’t gone through the papers from the lawyer. Something just didn’t feel right about it. Maybe she just wasn’t ready to deal with the lies Mamma had told her all her life. But life continued on no matter your preferences. She had bills to pay for the house and groceries to buy. To do that, she needed the money held in that bank and represented by the papers in the glovebox.
When she heard the knock on her roof, Kiedra let out a startled yelp. She looked up to find Roland looking down at her.
“I’ve been watching you sit here for the last twenty minutes,” Roland said. “What’s going on?”
“I can’t get up the nerve to go through those papers to find the debit card the lawyer mentioned. I need groceries and I’m out of money.”
“Kiki,” Roland shook his head. His eyes bored into hers. “You can’t run from your past, or your future.”
He waked around the car to the passenger side and got in. He opened the glovebox, pulled the file out and pushed it into Kiedra’s hands. She stared at the file like it might bite her.
“What do you fear is in there?” Roland asked.
“I don’t know.” She turned to look at Roland. “Do you know the secrets that are in here?”
“Some, yes. But I’m sure I don’t know them all.” He patted her hand. “You don’t have to read them all, Kiki. Just shake the debit card out and promise me you’ll take these papers into the house and go through it.”
Kiedra nodded. “I promise.” She shook the file until a debit card fell out onto the seat. She picked it up and smiled at Roland.
“Can I take you anywhere? Maybe lunch?”
Roland shook his head and swung his legs out of the car. “I’m on my way to my doc or I’d take you up on the lunch.”
“What does the doctor say?”
He smiled. “Nothing good. You go on and do your shopping. And don’t forget, Olivia is waiting for you at the dress shop.”
“Crap. That’s today, huh?”
“Yes. Don’t disappoint me, girl.” Roland hit the top of the car twice and walked away.
Kiedra watched him go and realized he looked a decade older today than he had when she’d seen him in the Greensward only a few days ago. Guilt washed over her, cold and painful. The Pack, including Roland, needed a new Alpha now, before they had no choice. Roland deserved the peace of knowing it was settled so he could focus on beating the cancer.
She got out of the car and walked to the ATM on the wall. She moved to put the card into the machine when it dawned on her she had no idea what the PIN number was.
“Damn it,” she muttered. She went back to the car and threw herself into the driver’s seat.
She snatched the folder from the seat and pulled the cover open so violently that it tore. She looked at the piece of the folder still in her hand while the cover flapped on her lap.
“Well, hell.” She took a few deep breaths to calm the trembling in her chest.
Kiedra flipped through the first few pages in the folder. She’d seen them at the lawyer’s office as they were copies of the forms she’d signed in Matt’s office. The first personal document in the folder made her heart stutter.
The photograph showed a young couple smiling at the camera. The woman held a baby whose little hand touched its mother’s cheek. Knowing what she’d find, but unable to stop herself, Kiedra turned the photo over. There, in Sylvia’s precise handwriting, were the names William, Sarah, and Kiedra, and a date.
She turned it over to see the faces again, her fingers unconsciously stroking the image. These were her parents. Sylvia had always claimed she didn’t know who they were and had no photographs. Here, in her hand, was proof of one lie. How many more were in the folder, she wondered.
“Screw this,” she muttered.
Kiedra flipped through the papers quickly until she found the paperwork with the PIN number on it. She snatched that paper, slammed the cover of the folder shut and tossed the folder on the floor of the passenger seat. The papers spilled out on the floorboards, leaving the photograph visible. Kiedra cursed, got out of the car and slammed the door.
“Don’t you look...” Olivia stopped to look more closely at Kiedra’s face. She sighed and patted Kiedra’s hand. “I’d hoped you would look better, but it could be worse.”
“Do we have to do this?” Kiedra asked.
The blizzard of white on white in the dress shop make Kiedra feel the need to call for a St. Bernard to rescue her from the avalanche that was surely coming.
Olivia squeezed Kiedra’s hand as the clerk came into the lobby. “It won’t be as bad as you think.”
“I’ve heard that before,” Kiedra muttered, but she turned a bright, if slightly brittle, smile to the clerk.
“This is the bride?” The clerk eyed Kiedra with a critical cast to her gaze. “She’s too thin, but she’s pretty enough.”
“Emily, be nice. Kiki’s a little nervous.”
Emily shrugged. “What bride isn’t nervous?”
She walked around Kiedra twice, mumbling to herself. “Okay. What did you have in mind, young lady?”
“I have no idea.” Kiedra looked at Olivia, silently begging the older woman to help her.
Olivia spoke up. “I think we want something simple. Tea length. No train.”
“And no lace at my neck, please”
“Why not?” Emily asked.
Kiedra shrugged. “It creeps me out. I don’t like the feel of lace.”
“Good!” Emily smiled for the first time. “I like a woman who knows what she doesn’t want. That’s often easier for me than the ones who think they know what they want.”
Emily gave Olivia a shrewd look. “Do we need to talk price?”
Olivia looked panicked for a moment, but Kiedra stepped in.
“Not really, but I don’t want to spend more than I have to.”
“So the top limit is...” Emily trailed off.
“Show me what you think will look nice and I’ll decide if I want it. Then we can look at the price.”
Emily nodded and disappeared into an alcove. She called over her shoulder, “Have a seat, ladies. I’ll be back in just a minute.”
Olivia and Kiedra sat side by side on a white loveseat set in the middle of the showroom.
“I’m sorry. I should have asked before we came here what your budget was for the wedding.”
“I’d honestly rather not spend the money, but spending it or not won’t make a dent in what Mamma left me.”
Olivia glanced around to see if Emily might be close by. “I had heard something along those lines, but I didn’t want to assume.”
“I wish I knew who blabbed. We wouldn’t be here if they’d just kept their mouth shut.” Kiedra rubbed her temples.
“What do you mean?”
“Someone told Hawk about the inheritance. That’s why he picked me. Not some Alpha/Omega mumbo-jumbo. Just greed.”
Olivia’s jaw fell open. She stuttered a few syllable, but shut her mouth with a click when Emily came back into the showroom with two dresses draped over her arms.
“I found two so far,” she said, hanging them from a rack near the dressing room.
Kiedra got up to look at the dresses. Olivia kept trying to make eye contact, but Kiedra didn’t want to have the discussion Olivia obviously wanted, so she ignored the council member and looked the dresses over.
The first looked like someone had enlarged a first communion dress. It was so plain it was painful. Kiedra knew Emily had brought this one to act as a foil for the second one.
The secon
d dress was stunning. It wasn’t white, but rather a candlelight colored satin. The neckline was a sharp V, but not too deep. Three quarter length sleeves would fit tight against her arms. The sheath style bodice and skirt were the perfect length for a wedding in the Greensward.
Kiedra heard herself sigh and smiled. “You know it’s gorgeous.”
Emily shrugged. “Of course I do. That’s my job.” She lifted the hanger off the rack and pressed the dress into Kiedra’s hands. “Try it on.”
Kiedra took the dress and walked into the dressing room.
“Do you need a strapless bra? I could bring one.” Emily asked from the other side of the door.
“I think I’m fine with the one I have on now just to try it on.”
She stripped off her jeans and t-shirt after shedding her sneakers. Then she slipped the dress off the hanger and stepped into it, sliding her arms into the sleeves. The satin whispered across her skin, raising goosebumps. Finally, she lifted the caps of the sleeves over her shoulders and reached for the zipper. When it was up, she turned to see herself in the mirror.
Her first reaction was a brilliant smile that lit up her eyes. Those same eyes filled with tears that spilled down her cheeks in a cascade of misery. A sob escaped her lips and she slid to her knees on the floor.
A fist pounded on the door.
“Kiki, what’s wrong. Let me in!” Olivia called.
When Kiedra didn’t answer, Olivia called out to Emily. “Where’s the key for this door, Em?”
Kiedra raised a shaking hand to the doorknob and turned it. Olivia pulled the door open, falling to her knees beside the sobbing woman on the floor.
“My God, I’m so sorry,” Olivia crooned.
She pulled Kiedra into her arms and rocked with her on the floor. When Emily came with the key, Olivia waved her off.
Kiedra’s tears began to taper off. Her breathing slowed and she stopped trembling. Olivia kept rubbing her hand up and down the younger woman’s back until Kiedra sat up and wiped the tears from her face.
Olivia helped Kiedra stand up and walked with her into the showroom. They sat on the couch together.
“What happened?” Olivia asked.