She glanced down at her arm and found it back to normal size. No trace remained of the red streaks. She flexed her hand, expecting pain but found none.
“How are you feeling?”
Eden glanced across the room to Ash as he rose from his chair.
“Pretty good, considering I had Ultrabeast rabies.”
Ash chuckled as he approached the bed. “Not rabies, but it might as well have been. Cordelia said their claws contain poisonous venom.”
“Where is—” She was about the say, ‘the elf’ but stopped herself. The woman had done nothing but save her life. “She?”
“She left a few hours ago. When she was sure you were going to make it.”
“Was I ever…not going to make it?” The memory of her fever, of the snaking crimson lines racing over her body… She’d certainly felt as though she were dying.
“I’d never even heard of the Ultrabeast before yesterday.” Ash shook his head as though in disbelief. “I just assumed it was a local legend. I’m sorry.”
Eden’s brows knitted together. “Sorry? For what?”
“I should have known better. I led us into a trap.”
“I’m pretty sure it was me who led us into a trap,” Eden said. “I wanted that stone even more than you did.”
“Even so, I should have been better prepared. Done some research before going off half-cocked—”
“Please, stop.” Eden was worlds better but didn’t have the energy for this. “It happened. It’s over. And I’m assuming Cordelia healed more than the rabies?”
She flexed her fingers for emphasis.
“She did.” He moved a step closer and with careful hands, removed enough tape to peel back a section of the bandage.
New, pink skin had formed where her forearm had been half-ruined. “Impressive.”
Eden felt guilty for all the insults she’d hurled, unable to remember which she’d uttered aloud.
Did I say something about her pores?
“Does this mean we can get out of here?” She’d dreamed of coming to Glastonbury for years; now all she wanted was to leave it.
If only she’d lost the memory of the pair they’d found slain, but no, the image of their bodies shone like the darkest beacon in her mind’s eye. That, and how she’d felt stabbing the Ultrabeast. The knife in her hand as it plunged, the fury in her belly. The memory filled her with shame. Not because the thing hadn’t deserved to die, but because of how powerful she’d felt doing the killing.
A shudder passed through her, the words of the long-dead borahn demon echoing through her mind.
You’re the perfect kind of monster—the kind who can excuse her violence in a shroud of righteousness.
Eden felt Ash’s gaze upon her but couldn’t meet his eye.
Chapter 31
“I need to check my messages.” Eden gestured to the communal computer in the hotel lobby. Ash was about to protest, but she didn’t give him the chance. “If I don’t at least email my parents—tell them I broke my phone or something—they’re going to freak out.”
Ash seemed uncertain, but nodded. He glanced at the time.
“I’ll go upstairs and grab your things. We’ve only got fifteen minutes until the bus leaves, so you need to be quick.”
“It’ll only take a second.” Eden slid into the chair and pulled up the web browser.
A few minutes later, she’d dashed off an email to her parents, apologizing if she’d ignored any texts. She’d dropped her phone in the toilet, and was waiting on a replacement. But no need to worry, she would earn the money and pay for it herself.
Eden glanced over her shoulder at the staircase. No sign of Ash.
She turned back to the computer and typed in another web address. Once she’d logged in, she scanned the posts—most from people she’d gone to high school with and rarely thought about.
Another glance at the staircase and she was about to log off when a photo caught her eye. It was only the top, but that little bit was enough. Her hand shook as she reached for the mouse and scrolled down, revealing the rest of the picture.
It had been taken in Alex’s study—a selfie of Kai with Sarah, though Sarah didn’t seem to realize her picture was being taken. In the background was Quinn, beaming with joy, his lips pressed to Alex’s cheek.
Eden stared at the picture in disbelief. Quinn kissing Alex? Even on the cheek…
She’d asked Kai to help him move on, but Eden couldn’t believe it was happening this soon. Tears leaked from her eyes, and she clicked off, more to rid herself of the image than worry over Ash catching her.
She hadn’t cried for the two in the woods. She would have, given time, but mostly she’d just been full of rage and fury that she lived in a world where homeless teenagers had been gutted and left to die. Why did Quinn deserve her tears when he apparently had none to give her?
Not that she had a right to be angry. She’d done the leaving, and she knew he wouldn’t already be dating anyone, let alone Alex. But he looked happy. They all did.
That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?
She wiped her wet cheeks and stood just as Ash bounded down the stairs. He’d changed out of the scrubs and into a sweater, but that would still be no match for the cold.
“Everything okay?” Ash narrowed his eyes.
“Fine.” She forced a smile. “If my parents were worried, they won’t be anymore.”
Not for a little while, anyway.
“Let’s go. We’ve got a bus to catch.” Eden grabbed her bag from Ash and slung it over her shoulder.
A chasm opened inside of her—a pain as deep and as wide she’d ever felt.
Her friends—her boyfriend—had forgotten her. No, replaced her. With Alex, of all people. In less than week, it was as though she’d never been.
The pain threatened to swallow her whole, and as she trudged to the bus stop, she wished it would.
The image of Quinn kissing Alex filled Eden’s vision while the bus chugged toward Bristol.
Twice Ash had asked if she was feeling all right, and both times Eden had said she was fine. He was worried some part of her sickness remained, but her sullen mood had nothing to do with the Ultrabeast.
Whether a few days or a few months had passed, Quinn had every right to move on. Hadn’t Eden asked Kai to help him do just that?
And she was only too happy to.
The bitter thought rang hollow. Would it be better if Quinn were inconsolable? He deserved to be happy. And for their own safety, Eden was grateful her friends weren’t looking for her. They were just honoring her request.
But some part of her must not have believed they would give up so easily, and seeing the stark reality had been jarring. That, and the knowledge that even if she caught the first plane home, their lives had changed. Not only hers, but theirs too.
Maybe they don’t even want me back. Things have to be easier.
Everything bad that had befallen Coventry House since Eden’s arrival could be traced back to her. She hadn’t caused all of it, but she’d been the source. Leaving might have been the greatest gift she could have given them.
She glanced over at Ash and forced herself to smile. She’d provided him with enough to worry about the past few days. She resolved not to add moodiness to the list.
“We’ve got just enough time for a bathroom break.” Ash rose as the bus eased to a stop at the Bristol station. “Our next bus leaves in ten minutes.”
As Eden disembarked, a shop across the street caught her eye. She wouldn’t be using the restroom.
“I’ll meet you back here.” She hastened in the direction of the store before he could stop her.
“What? Where are you going?” Ash hurried after her.
He caught up just as she was entering the shop.
“We don’t have time for this.” Ash was the picture of impatience, which Eden pointedly ignored.
“It will only take a second.” Eden wove her way through the rows of racks, heading toward the
back.
Ten minutes or not, she knew her way around a thrift store and wasn’t going to miss this opportunity.
She found the sale rack and moved with precision from one garment to the next until she found it.
“Eden—”
“Calm down. I’m done,” she called over her shoulder, striding toward the register near the front of the store. “I need your credit card.” When Ash blanched, she folded her arms. “Unless I’m suddenly allowed to use mine?”
Eden was pretty sure she saw actual steam coming out of his ears.
The cashier quirked a pierced brow, and Eden answered the silent question. “He’s old-fashioned. You know the type—always insists on paying.”
The woman’s laugh was more musical than Eden would have expected.
“Can’t say I’ve ever met that type. But I wouldn’t have any objections.” The woman pulled the tag to check the price. “That was on clearance, so with the forty percent discount, it will be fifteen pounds.”
“Perfect.” Eden smiled and held out her hand for Ash’s charge card. He shook his head and handed it to her without even looking at what she was buying. Just before she passed the card over to the cashier, she pulled it back. “Oh, no.” She pointed to a ripped seam on the inside of the garment. “I didn’t realize I’d have to do repair work.”
The cashier’s eyes narrowed in consternation, slipping a finger along the seam. “I swear it wasn’t like that before.”
Not before I tore it.
“I’m not sure I want to pay fifteen for it with it being damaged.” Eden made a point of reconsidering.
“The bus is here.” Ash stared out the window at the front of the shop. “Buy it or don’t, but we need to leave.”
Eden turned back to the cashier. “It’s not old enough to be vintage and not quite ugly enough to be ironic. And now with the rip… How about ten and we call it even?”
“Eden—”
Eden held up a hand to shush him.
“Done.” The cashier plucked the card from Eden’s grip and rang up the purchase. “He’ll need to sign.” She nodded toward Ash.
Ash ground his teeth but walked over, scrawling nothing close to resembling a signature and stormed out of the shop.
“I might not want one like that after all,” the woman replied with a sympathetic look.
Eden smiled and grabbed her purchase.
Outside, Ash was already striding across the street. Eden hurried to catch up, but needn’t have. A line of people waited to board. Ash had been impatient for the sake of it.
“Here.” She handed him the garment. “Put this on.”
He looked down at the winter coat and then back up at her, his face softening. “This is what you bought?”
“Well, technically, you bought it.” She grinned, a small flush creeping into her cheeks from the cold and definitely not the intensity of his gaze. “I was tired of seeing you shiver.”
“I don’t shiver.” His scowl was half teasing, and he took the coat.
“No, of course not.” She rolled her eyes. “Real men never shiver.”
He donned the garment, and as she’d suspected, it was a perfect fit.
“This is… Thank you.” Now he seemed flushed. “It’s a really nice coat.” His lips twitched into a smirk. “Will be even nicer when you fix this hole.” He fingered the opening.
“Please.” Eden brushed past him and boarded the bus. She glanced back over her shoulder. “Do I look like I sew?”
The sky was gray as the bus cut its way east. Being without both a phone and the sun gave Eden an eerie sense of being without time—or existing outside of it.
But, of course, time was passing.
More quickly for some than others.
The thought left a bitter taste, and she did her best not to wonder what Quinn and Alex were doing that very minute. She couldn’t help but wonder if they were together.
It was one stupid picture.
One picture, but to Eden, it had spoken volumes. In the days since she’d left, she’d lost count of how many times her life had been threatened and was trying desperately to forget the carnage she’d witnessed in the woods.
And while all that was going on, her friends were laughing. Having fun. Erasing her existence.
Isn’t that what you wanted?
It was a voice so small Eden barely noticed. Once she had, it wouldn’t let her go.
There was no denying she’d begged Kai to help the others move on. She was dangerous, and it went beyond the mark on her chest. Something dark and sinister was emerging from her depths—a shadow the borahn had sensed when she was a child.
The same part of her that had gone to him willingly had allowed Bes’tal to enter this world and kill people she cared about. And now that stain had her taking pleasure in destroying the black market and killing demons. Those things had needed doing; she didn’t regret them. But the way she’d done them and how good she’d felt…that was what filled her with shame.
Eden wanted to believe she could be stronger than this shadow, but she was too tired to maintain the lie. She was weary to her bones, and the effort of keeping the artifice in place too great. If her true nature was dark, why should she keep denying it? Why should she try so hard all the time to be good? Why do the right thing and always think of others? Where had it gotten her?
She glanced out the window at the dreary sky. It had gotten her here—on this bus at this moment in time.
She checked on Ash, and for once thought he might actually be dozing. She studied the angles of his face. They were softer when he slept, as though just being awake was enough reason to hold himself rigid.
He held darkness too. She knew that, and it was why she’d left with him. She’d told herself it was because he could help her be rid of the mark. To some extent, it had been true. But unlike Quinn and Sarah, Ash didn’t need protection from her. She didn’t worry about how much pain she might cause him or that he needed something more from her. Something other than what she was.
If Quinn had seen me in those woods…
He’d have comforted her and told her it would be all right. Told her he would get her the help she needed. But he would have been terrified for her and of her, and he’d have never looked at her the same way again.
Ash hadn’t said a word. Hadn’t seemed scared. Hadn’t needed an explanation or a promise that she’d get better. Be better. If anything, his silent concern had spoken of understanding.
As if reading her thoughts, Ash stirred beside her, blinking his eyes open. “Where are we?” He glanced at the scenery as it streaked past.
The words came out groggy, and Eden knew he was even more tired than her. How often did the man let himself rest?
“An hour outside of London.” She’d heard a fellow passenger say that a few minutes earlier. “Go back to sleep. The bus is half empty, and no one has so much as looked at me cross-eyed. Go back to sleep and let me keep watch for once.”
When Ash looked at her, she had the feeling of actually being seen.
He gave a single nod that spoke of respect, but then he ruined it with a smirk. “It’s always the candy asses that take first watch, you know. The real soldiers take second or third.”
“Is that what I am now?” Eden laughed. “A soldier?”
“You fight like someone who’s seen a battle or two.”
The look that passed between them bore weight, and it felt to Eden as though they were on the verge of something. Something dangerous and exciting and…rich with possibility.
Ash let his eyes drift closed, and a chill rippled through Eden, as though his gaze had provided her warmth. She wrapped her coat tight around her and settled deeper into the seat.
Within minutes, Ash was snoring softly, and for all her talk of keeping watch, Eden found it hard to pull her gaze from his sleeping form.
Chapter 32
Eden glanced warily out the bus window. Instead of scenery streaking by, her view remained unchanged—industri
al walls lacking color but for a thick, orange stripe.
We are inside of a bus, inside of a train, inside a tunnel, traveling underwater from the UK to France.
She glanced at Ash, unperturbed beside her.
She had assumed once they got to London they’d be flying to Romania, but last-minute tickets had been outrageously expensive, and Ash hadn’t had the funds to cover it. Thus, the Chunnel crossing. Soon, they’d be cutting a ribbon southeast across the continent.
Between the bus from Glastonbury and the handful of hours since they’d made the transfer, she found herself eight hours into a forty-three hour ride. She was already stir-crazy; it was only going to get worse.
Doesn’t it always?
For the tenth time in as many minutes, Eden pinched her nose and blew, attempting to pop her ears. When it didn’t work, she sighed in exasperation and tugged on her earlobes.
“We have snacks.” Ash pulled a box of water crackers along with some jam and peanut butter from his backpack.
He was treating her as he would a toddler made happy with treats. The annoying part was that it worked—her mouth watering at the sight of food. As with trying to track time without a phone, regular meals meant nothing anymore. Hunger was her only cue to eat.
Ash spooned a thick layer of peanut butter across a thin cracker and topped it with a layer of jam. He held it out.
“Thanks.” It was such a small thing for him to prepare a mouthful for food for her; why was she fighting the urge to blush?
As they ate, Eden found herself stealing glances at him—studying the angles of his face.
“How did you get that?” Eden traced her finger along the tiny scar above his temple.
She pulled her hand away, taken aback by her own forwardness. More shocking was how good it had felt to touch him.
Ash cleared his throat and busied himself putting away the food.
Is he blushing?
Maybe touching him hadn’t been out of line. Her fingers ached with the desire to do it again.
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