I kissed her with a depth of feeling I’d never experienced before. I kissed her like my life fucking depended on it, and in that moment, I wasn’t sure it didn’t. Right now, I needed her like I needed the fucking air I breathed.
Dropping both hands to her hips, I gripped on tight and dragged her body up the surface of the door until her legs parted and folded around me. I rocked into the cradle of her thighs as her ankles locked behind my back, and then I started moving, travelling the same path I’d taken twenty-four hours ago.
My ass hit Lissa’s mattress and her knees sank into it on either side of me. When she rose up, I grabbed her ass cheeks and squeezed, digging my fingers into the coarse fabric of her jeans.
I needed them gone. Running my hands up, I gripped her under the arms and lifted; the move bringing her breasts level with my eyes. I groaned as I reached down with one hand and yanked open the button on her jeans, jerking them down. When I reached between her legs and cupped her with one hand, finding her fucking soaked, my head fell forward on a desperate growl, straight into the mounds of her breasts. I brought my free hand up and curved it around her soft flesh, rubbing a thumb over her pebbled nipple.
Her head fell back, a long moan filtering past her lips, and I wrapped my fingers around the waistband of her jeans, tugging until she pulled one leg free. Smoothing a palm up over the back of her thigh and over her firm ass, my fingers skated beneath the thin scrap of lace. I tugged it to one side and dragged a finger through her slick heat, then slipped it inside of her without resistance.
My dick throbbed against the confines of my pants, a rough sound breaking from my chest. I twisted my head, closing my mouth over her erect nipple through the sweater, and Lissa’s body jerked with a sharp gasp as she reached between us to free my dick.
“Do you have a condom?” she panted, hand closing around me.
My eyes fucking crossed, heat licking at my skin as all feeling raced to my cock.
“Wallet,” I groaned, releasing her breast, and clamping an arm around her back so I could push up off the bed and let her grab it from my pocket.
She pulled my pants lower until they cleared my thighs, then took the foil packet from my wallet and tore it open. Our gazes collided as she rolled it over me, my dick pulsing in her trembling hand. Time and space no longer existed as I fisted a handful of lacy fabric and tore it off her. Eyes clinging, chests rising, she rose, then sank down over my length and enveloped me in liquid heat.
“Fuuuuck.” My eyes rolled back into my head, jaw clenching as my hips thrust up. Grasping the edge of her sweater, I ripped it over her head, then grabbed hold of her hips and glanced between us as I guided her down over my dick. I watched in fucking rapture as she rode me, her breasts bobbing in front of my eyes, and then I closed my hands around her waist, squeezing before splaying my palms out over the flat surface and coasting them up over her warm skin. When I tugged the sheer, black cups of her bra down and pinched her nipples, her body fell back with a gasp, hips still rolling over mine.
It felt like fucking heaven having her on top, but I needed her under me.
Buried deep inside her, I folded both arms around her and flipped her down onto her back. Her eyes flew open, meeting mine as I settled between her thighs. Holding still, emotion choking me, I gazed down at her and swept wisps of hair back off her forehead with my thumbs.
Lissa’s soft eyes flickered between mine before trailing over every part of my face. She lifted an arm, fingers almost grazing the stubble coating my jaw. Then she paused and caught herself, something like alarm flashing in her eyes.
One step at a time, baby girl.
My lips curved into a small smile, and it was enough to propel her hand forward. Cautious fingers brushed against my cheek, and her eyes glossed over.
Words hovered on my tongue. Words I knew she wasn’t ready to hear. Words I could never have guessed I’d say to the woman laying beneath me.
But I couldn’t imagine saying them to anyone else for as long as I fucking lived.
She’d swept inside and erased everything I thought I knew about love.
Lowering onto my forearms, I touched my lips to hers and rocked into her slowly, memorizing the feel of her silken heat wrapped around my cock. The feel of her smooth thighs clenched around my hips, and the glide of her lips over mine as her breathy moans spilled into my mouth.
I didn’t need the words. Not right now. Her body spoke them for her, whether she knew it or not, and I committed her silent declaration to memory.
Because this was my snow queen unfiltered, unguarded. She didn't lower it often, and she didn't do it lightly.
I’d die before I made her regret it.
TWENTY-NINE
LISS
My body thrummed with a restless anticipation that hummed under the surface of my skin as I sat in the passenger seat of Riley’s beat-up old car. For the first time since she’d passed her test, I wasn’t white-knuckling the seat cushion and fearing for my life. Her driving skills hadn’t drastically improved, or anything—they were still fucking atrocious—I was just too distracted to give them much thought.
My face heated as the events of last night, and then this morning, played out in my head…
“Morning, Snow Queen.”
I tugged my lips between my teeth as I lay on my side. He’d caught me watching him as he slept, and I still couldn’t bring myself to look away.
“Can’t stop staring at me, huh?” He grinned.
I rolled my eyes.
He shifted quickly and rolled over me until he had me pinned beneath his big body. His head cocked, eyes narrowing as he looked down at me. “Why did you hate me so much, Snow Queen? And don’t say my face!”
I swallowed and pressed my lips together, fighting a smile. “Why are you using past tense, Pretty Boy?”
His grin split his face as he lifted a little and dragged his hand down my naked body.
“Ahhh.” My eyes slid closed on a breathy sigh when he reached the juncture between my thighs and pressed inside.
He hooked his fingers, rubbing, stretching, thrusting, working me into a squirming frenzy within minutes. He took me right to the edge, my center throbbing, my body twisting, tensing in anticipation, and then he stopped and pulled his fingers out.
My eyes shot open, landing on his twinkling blues as he watched me with a brow arched.
“What the hell are you doing, Bradshaw?”
“Say it, baby,” he murmured, slipping one finger through my folds. I gasped, arching up, greedy for more. Then he tugged it away again.
“What?” I grated on a strangled breath, scowling.
“You still hate me?”
His knowing smirk had me growling, and I squinted my eyes. “You’re not playing fucking fair.”
His finger dipped inside, then back out, and I huffed in frustration. “Never said I would.”
I dragged in air and bit the inside of my cheek, then moaned when he slid two fingers over my sensitive flesh, parting me.
“Say it, Lissa… and I’ll give you what you want.”
I held his eyes for long seconds, then, “I don’t fucking hate you, Leon.”
A satisfied smile spread over his face as he shoved his fingers back inside. But it was the primal, possessive look in his blue eyes that sent me spiralling over the edge with a piercing cry.
As my walls clenched around his fingers, he leaned down and whispered into my ear, “That’s what I thought, Snow Queen.”
“You okay over there?”
Riley’s voice snapped me from the memory and my head spun round, cheeks flushed with heat. “What?”
Her narrowed eyes flickered over me, her mind working, and I blanked my face, schooling my features.
“Something’s different,” she mumbled, her gaze still scoring my face.
“Nothing’s different,” I said, sweeping a hand over my hair before pointing out the windshield. “Stop looking at me and keep your damn eyes forward. You can barely keep th
e car on the road as it is.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ll have you know I haven’t had one accident in thi—”
“Argh,” I groaned, “Now you’ve gone and fucking done it.”
A grin broke out on her face, and she shook her head. “Don’t you worry, Lissy. I’ll get you to Leon in one piece.”
My neck almost snapped off my shoulders as I swung to her, and she arched a brow, a smirk playing over her lips.
“I meant Danny’s.”
“Sure, you did.”
“But that got quite the reaction, Liss.”
My eyes rolled back into my head. “Okay,” I muttered. “Point made.”
Her hands squeezed the steering wheel as she inched forward with a smile. “You ready to tell me?”
“There’s nothing much to tell.” I hitched a shoulder.
“But there’s something?” she hedged as she swung the car to the side of the road a few houses down from Danny’s. I tugged my lip between my teeth.
“I…” I started, pausing to look down at my hands before bringing my gaze back to hers. This was Riley. My best friend since the age of nine. I felt something for Leon. I still hadn’t put a name to it, but it was there, and it was real, and it wasn’t going anywhere. And the only person I could even consider talking to about it was sitting right across from me. “I’m sleeping with Leon.”
Ri’s lips molded into a beaming smile and she reached across the seats to lay her hand over my knee. Her eyes were bright when she asked, “Is it serious?”
I blinked, running my tongue between my lips. “I don’t know.”
She tilted her head and murmured softly, “Does he make you happy?”
Does he make me happy?
Her simple question floated around my head, forcing me to think about how I felt when I was with him. How he made me feel.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him. The way his lips kicked up in that beautiful smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle. I almost went into cardiac arrest just from looking at him. And he was there, showing up when I needed him.
I thought about his touch, how he looked at me with naked affection pouring from his eyes and smoothed his fingers over my skin with something like reverence. How he held himself still inside my body, and looked into me, pulling the curtain away and drenching me in light.
How he saw me…
“You love him.”
Her observation shocked me back into the moment, and I shook my head in denial.
“I know,” she murmured with a sigh. “You don’t trust love, and you don’t want your happiness to depend on anyone else.”
I blinked. You don’t trust love, and you don’t want your happiness to depend on anyone else.
I’d said that to her, as an assured thirteen-year-old. In the months after my dad left, I’d wanted to hate him, to only hate him, but he was still my dad, and he’d just left me. It didn’t matter that I’d told him to, there was no avoiding the hurt that caused. Some nights I’d stuff my face into my pillow to suffocate my sobs, even as I’d loathed the fact he could make me feel that way. That his shitty actions could cause so much grief and pain. So, I’d put on a front, acted like I didn’t care. I looked in the mirror and told myself I didn’t, over and over, until eventually, I’d convinced myself it was true.
“Don’t let someone else’s bad experiences stop you from having any of your own, Liss. You deserve more than that.” Riley glanced away briefly, worrying her lip. “Leon asked me to cancel my plans with you the other night,” she admitted, and I frowned. “I know, I know. It was sneaky. I probably shouldn’t have done it. I wasn’t going to either because I didn’t want to push you. But then, I saw the look in his eyes when he said your name, and I decided you needed a little push.”
I stared at her, knowing I wasn’t mad but trying to project it with my eyes, anyway. “I should strip you of friendship privileges,” I muttered. “That goes against code, and you damn well know it.”
“I do.” She nodded, pursing her lips. “Does it make up for it if I just want you to be happy? I could see it the night of the bonfire, Liss. Before that, even. There’s something there, and you owe it to yourself to try. What’s stopping you?”
“Wow, the deep questions are coming thick and fast this evening, huh?” I tried to keep my tone light, to play off the gravity of her words, but it felt like they inflated inside the small space around me, crushing me.
“It’s my duty as your best friend to ask them. You’ve always done it for me. Now it’s my turn.”
A light snort of air puffed from my nose. “Payback?”
“If that’s what you want to call it.” She winked, reaching across to squeeze my fingers. “You didn’t answer my question.”
I sighed, then admitted quietly, “I don’t know if I can trust him.”
She pressed her lips together and thought a second before speaking. “Since you two started hanging out… has he given you any reason not to trust him?”
I held her gaze, then glanced away.
A year ago, he’d said we were nothing and given the impression he might still harbor feelings for my best friend. But that was after one kiss, and I’d never even asked him about it. So much had changed, and everything he’d done and said since had painted a totally different picture.
Leon didn’t need to buy cupcakes and date girls to get them into bed, and if all he wanted was to fuck Claremont’s snow queen and boast about it, he could have done that at New Year’s. But he hadn’t.
“I’m not saying trust him right away,” Riley said, her soft voice cutting through my thoughts. “Just… give him the chance to earn it, babe.”
My eyes travelled back to her, and over her heart-shaped face, which, from this angle, looked unchanged despite the heartache she’d endured. If I looked close enough, though, really close, I could see some evidence of the toll it had all taken. The tiny flash of pain that still lingered in the depths of her eyes. And probably always would. Some things changed us at a fundamental level. She’d taken a chance and experienced a world of hurt. Then she’d picked herself up, adjusted, grown, and become stronger, and through all of it, she’d never given up on love.
I could ask her if it was worth it, but I didn’t need to. I already knew what her answer would be. A year ago, I would never have agreed with her. Now, though? I wasn’t so sure.
She clapped her hands down on her thighs and looked over at me. “Come on. We need a drink.”
“Agreed.”
I rounded the side of Danny’s house in heeled boots, a form fitting sleeveless black dress, and a cropped denim jacket. My eyes searched the crowd before it came into focus; before it even registered that I was looking for him.
I found him before he saw me, and my steps faltered. Then he looked up, and my heart surged. Right before it broke into a sprint and charged at my ribs like a crazed bull.
Riley’s hand landed on the side of my hip with a light tap, and she murmured, “Go on, babe.”
I turned back to her, seeing her light up as she smiled at the guy standing beside Leon.
And I got it.
I think I understood why people acted against reason in the name of love.
I was still caught somewhere between my heart and my head, though. Some limbo state where I knew exactly what I wanted but couldn’t let myself take it.
Leon came to me, the crowd parting for him as his blue eyes fastened on mine and burned every inch of me, inside and out. Wildfire.
“Snow Queen.” The nickname rumbled from his lips like honey-coated gravel as he stopped before me and raked his gaze down my body. Liquid heat pooled between my thighs at the molten look in his eyes. “You look fucking beautiful,” he rasped.
Our gazes clashed, throwing my pulse into a tailspin as I drowned in a storm of heat, lust, and fiery intensity. The heady rush of desire that blasted through me was enough to send my head spinning.
Leon’s eyes flared as he took me by the hand and tugged me behi
nd him. In less than thirty seconds, we were in a darkened room, pressed up against a wall, my chest banging against his like a drum as he clasped my jaw in his hands and pressed his mouth to mine.
“Fuck, I missed you today,” he grated against my lips.
“It’s only been a few hours,” I breathed, dizzy.
“Too long.”
I wanted to believe it; my heart bounced against the golden bars of its gilded cage as I tried to drown out the last niggling doubt in my head that refused to be silenced. That questioned whether he meant it. Whether he said the same to every girl he hooked up with.
“Did you miss me, Lissa?” His hot breath floated over my face as he brought his head up and ensnared me with his deep blue eyes. They pinged between both of mine.
Yes.
I didn’t say it, but he could read me like a billboard sign lit up in neon. I knew my answer blared in my eyes, but I didn’t try to hide it. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t ready to say the words, but I couldn’t stop myself from showing him. I wanted to show him.
Leon’s grip on me tightened, and I lunged forward, twining my arms around his neck, and closing my eyes. He allowed himself to get swept up in the kiss, allowed me to avoid answering his question out loud.
And I loved him for it.
As soon as the word floated through my mind, I knew.
I knew.
And I kissed him harder, a desperate need coursing through me.
His palms found their way beneath the hem of my dress, tugging it up over my hips. Within seconds he’d freed himself, sheathed his dick, yanked my underwear to one side, and seated himself deep inside of me.
I came apart in his arms for the third time in twenty-four hours, and I knew I’d never get enough of him. I was travelling down a road I’d never planned on taking, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn back.
When he took hold of my face and pressed his mouth against mine, our chests heaving between us, I heard the words I couldn’t say, felt the words I couldn’t say.
I felt them with an intensity that terrified me.
Unthinkable: (Unstoppable - Book 2) (The Unstoppable Series) Page 20