by Jenna Jacob
And hopefully, eventually, how to love me back.
“I love myself,” she protested. “I just make really bad decisions.”
“Not anymore.”
“Are you always so sure of yourself?”
“Most times.”
Liar.
“Well, some of the time,” he amended. “Mostly, I just do what everyone else does…muddle through this thing called life.”
She nibbled her bottom lip for long seconds, then sent him a mischievous smile. “Only if you promise to wear the cape and the tights for me from time to time.”
Then and there, she stole the rest of his heart. If she never loved him back, Sawyer was totally fucked.
Three hours later, his truck loaded with woman, dog, and a borrowed suitcase from Barbara’s closet, Sawyer pulled down the gravel drive of his childhood home. The campers and staff didn’t pay too much attention to their arrival, but the family certainly did. His mom hurried to the truck wearing a warm, welcoming smile. Only Sawyer could see the depth of worry and concern shimmering in her green eyes.
“Brea, it’s so good to finally meet you.” Nola hugged the girl tightly. “I’m so sorry you had to go through such a horrific ordeal. Come…let’s get you in out of the hot sun and up to the house, where you can relax. I’ll get you both something cold to drink.”
Ozzie barked, startling some of the children. But when Nola bent and rubbed his ears, his tongue lolled out, and the young campers wary expressions softened.
“And you—you good boy for saving the day—I’ll get you a big bowl of water and some special treats,” she gushed over the dog.
Sawyer plucked Brea’s suitcase from the back of the truck and sent her a sheepish grin. “You’ll have to excuse my mom. She’s always like this with company.”
“Don’t go excusing me, young man,” Nola scolded with a fake scowl. “I only aim to make Brea feel at home, something you should do as well.”
The wind danced through Brea’s hair as she nervously glanced between him and Nola. It was as if Brea had never seen a mother and child playfully banter before. Maybe she hadn’t. That curiosity only made him more determined to learn all he could about her.
“I’ll meet you two in the kitchen,” Nola announced before heading toward the house.
“Shall we?” Sawyer grinned.
Brea nodded shyly.
“You dog! You dirty, rotten, no-good, monkey-humpin’ mongrel!” Noble bellowed as he jogged toward them. “How the hell did you already beat me to her?”
Brea blinked in startled surprise.
“You snooze, you lose, bro,” Sawyer preened. He draped his arm around Brea’s shoulders and drew her in close to his side.
“I should have known by the way you were stalking her that first night.”
“Stalking?” Brea asked, brows arching up high.
“Yep. Old Sawyer here was scoping you out from the Hangover when you first came to town. Please, pardon my manners. I’m Noble…I’m the better brother.” He bent in a ridiculously deep bow.
“Better at what?” Brea chuckled.
“Don’t ask!” Sawyer warned before the conversation took a nosedive to the sexually awkward.
“Ditch this old limp-dicked brother of mine, and I’ll show you.” Noble winked with a suggestive grin.
“Give it a rest, Noble.” Sawyer moved in close and lowered his voice. “You couldn’t get laid at a clusterfuck.”
“You son of a—”
“Ah, ah, ah,” Sawyer interrupted. “Little ears are in camp. You know the rules.”
“Do all you Grayson brothers look alike?” Brea chuckled.
“Which other brothers of mine have you met?” Sawyer asked.
Before she could reply, his father’s deep voice speared the air. “Noble! A little help over here?”
“Don’t get your heart set on this one until you get to know me.” Noble sent Brea a playful wink.
“Go back to work,” Sawyer grumbled.
Noble mumbled something under his breath as he turned and jogged away.
Relaxing at the kitchen table, sipping tea, Sawyer couldn’t miss the shrewd looks his mom darted his way. Like a bloodhound, Nola had picked up the scent that he was more than just interested in Brea. He couldn’t keep from grinning. The interrogation would be starting soon.
After settling Brea in the guest room, Sawyer took her on a tour of the ranch. He introduced her to the campers, especially Tina. The little sprite had done to Brea exactly what she had to him…stolen her heart. Sawyer hoped that moving Brea in with the family, the change of environment might lessen the emotional strain of Yuri and Weed. He hoped it would help ease his own fears as well.
It was past midnight. Sawyer sat in the kitchen, nursing a beer and warring with his increasing hunger for Brea when his mother came in and sat down beside him.
With a gentle smile, she patted the back of his hand. “How long are you going to wait, dear boy?”
“Wait for what?”
“To tell her you’re in love with her?”
“Mom, I’m—”
“Don’t lie to me, Neville. I see the way you look at her and the way she looks at you.”
He gave his mom a crooked grin. “I have to wait, Ma.”
“For what?”
“For her to trust herself and me.”
“Oh, I see. Trust can be a booger. But don’t wait too long. Life is short. Maybe she needs to believe she’s found someone worthy of giving her trust to.”
He chuckled. “She just might at that.”
Three days later, Sawyer stood near the shelter house that served as the craft center. Brea was helping the campers pack their pumpkin plants into small paper bags. A trail of potting soil was smeared over her forehead, and to him, she’d never looked more beautiful. Simply watching her helping the children filled him with something deeper than need or friendship. Sawyer was filled with love. Each day they spent together Brea revealed yet another side of herself to him. She was patient and nurturing. It warmed his heart. Something inside him was growing restless. He wanted more with Brea, and he wanted it now.
“What if my pumpkin dies?” Charlie, a little boy struggling with leukemia, arched a quizzical stare at Brea.
Cocking her head, she studied the young man. “Then we’ll bury it near the creek and put flowers on top of its grave. Everyone will remember how hard it fought to live and grow strong.”
The boy sent her a solemn nod. “Just like me.”
Brea clenched her jaw. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes as she gave Charlie a resolute nod. Sawyer swallowed the lump of emotion lodged in his throat.
“Just like you,” she managed to choke out.
The family and staff grasped the children’s struggles. Everyone dealt with the powerful emotions the kids evoked in their own ways. But for a novice—an outsider, like Brea—to grasp and embrace the gravity of their life-and-death battles rocked him to the core. She didn’t disregard or candy-coat their fears but met them head on with compassion and kindness. She gave each child the gift of dignity and promise—the embodiment of Camp Melody.
When she glanced his way, he sent her a warm smile.
Fuck, how could he not love the woman?
Brea
* * *
In Brea’s heart, the days at Camp Melody had been nothing short of magical. Sawyer’s brothers were a rowdy bunch, ceaselessly busting each other’s balls, but the whole clan thrived on happiness and shared a palpable love that Brea envied.
She’d barely given thought to her ordeal that had brought her to the ranch. But that was thanks to Sawyer. He’d been a constant supportive friend, and her feelings for him were growing in leaps and bounds. Of course, her sexual attraction to the man had increased as well. Every time their eyes met, he either undressed her with a carnal stare or fixed her with a look of trust and understanding. He was forever giving her silent promises she couldn’t ignore. And just when she thought he’d haul her to the barn and
wreck her beneath a myriad of screaming O’s, he’d simply wink and flash her that dazzling smile—the one that made her pulse race and her stomach cartwheel.
Her pent-up cravings for the man were driving her insane. She ached for him to touch her. Not like he’d been doing…not the gentle stroke of her cheeks or a rugged arm around her waist. Brea wanted him to get down and dirty in her lady garden and lay some damn seed.
As the guests began boarding busses to leave, she noticed Sawyer off to the side, sitting on the ground beside Tina. Tears spilled down the little girl’s cheeks, and a look of sadness was etched on his face. Brea’s heart squeezed as she watched him gently wipe the girl’s tears away and place a tender kiss on her forehead. The poignant sight filled Brea with such emotion that she could barely breathe.
For a man who’d been nothing but a royal pain in her ass, conjuring embarrassment, anger, and a level of lust that singed her flesh, he was a steadfast protector. Sawyer had proven over and over again that he was a man she could count on. He’d been there to calm her after Emmett blew out the freaking plate-glass window and helped board up the gaping hole. He’d brought her to this amazing camp and shown her a compassionate, caring side of himself she hadn’t known existed in any man. Helped her when she didn’t know a thing about planting pumpkins. When she was with Sawyer, he made her feel strong, empowered, treasured, and that her opinions actually mattered. Things she’d never felt with a man before. Sawyer was totally different. He was a man she’d already grown to trust.
Trust? Have you gone completely insane? Every man you’ve ever trusted has ripped your damn heart out and stomped it in dirt!
Yes, they had. Because she’d foolishly handed them something they’d never deserved, never earned. Sawyer had gone above and beyond for her, but Brea still lacked faith in her own judgment. Going from the frying pan into the fire terrified her.
“Brea!” Sawyer called. She turned as he and Tina walked toward her. “Someone wants to say goodbye.”
The little girl’s eyes were rimmed red, but she put on a brave smile and opened her arms. Brea dropped to her knees and hugged Tina with all her might. “You do as the doctors say so I can see you again next year.”
“You mean…you’ll be here next time I come?”
Will you? Or will you continue to run from one relationship to the next, becoming so jaded and cynical no man will ever want to waste his time with you?
Jade’s words rolled through her head: You should stay here in Haven. Find a job and settle down close to Colton and me. It’s not a bad thing to have friends around in case you need them, and we’ll always be here for you.
Brea darted a glance up at Sawyer. The cocky, quizzical expression was a silent dare for her to make a commitment. He’d donned that infuriating, royal-pain-in-her-ass attitude of his again. Brea wanted to growl. How any man could go from compassionate to infuriating in the blink of an eye, the way Sawyer did, boggled her mind.
She lifted her chin and sent him a smirk of her own. “I’m certainly going to try, Tina. If Sawyer wants to keep me…on at the ranch, that is.”
Surprise gave way to a look of relief. “I plan on keeping you a whole lot more than you can imagine.”
His unexpected declaration sent a ribbon of hope to unfurl inside her. A rush of something almost dreamlike blossomed in its wake. Anticipation hummed through her system. She felt as if something truly spectacular was finally waiting on her horizon.
She tried to quash the sensations. Expectation and trust were dangerous bedfellows, yet Brea couldn’t shove away the tingles bubbling up inside her. A little voice in the back of her head told her that—this time—she didn’t need to.
As the last bus pulled away, Sawyer sent her a proud smile. “You’re amazing.”
Pride warmed her cheeks.
Norman called everyone to the deck for the weekly post-evaluation. Brea tried to focus on the man’s words, but the enticing heat rolling off Sawyer as he stood beside her was a mammoth distraction. His sweaty masculine musk, laced with the sweetness of leather and hay, was more than a diversion. She couldn’t think of anything other than sliding her tongue over his salty skin and lower…to the much saltier treasure inside his jeans. Images of riding him harder than Thunderbolt at Churchill Downs careened through her head. Sawyer was her own private label of tequila.
When the meeting was over, all but immediate family departed. Norman strode straight to her and smiled.
“You did a fantastic job with the kids, Brea. We appreciate your help.”
His praise warmed her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.
“I can’t thank you enough for letting me visit and work with them. It was truly an honor.”
“Y’all wash up. Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes,” Nola called out as she turned toward the house.
“What are we having?” Nate asked.
“Roast.”
“Hell yeah,” Noble cheered.
When the family raced inside, Sawyer wrapped his arm around Brea’s waist and pulled her to his chest. As he pressed his lips to her ear, his moist breath sent a shiver racing down her spine. “What’s got you so turned on? I can smell your spice and it’s driving me crazy.”
Heat flooded her cheeks. “You.”
“Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Home.”
Brea pivoted and blinked up at him. “What about Ozzie?”
“He’ll be fine. My family will spoil him proper.”
“But your mom… She’s expecting—”
“She won’t mind, and my brothers will be ecstatic. More food for them.”
He took her hand and pulled her behind him as they raced to his truck. The thrill cresting through her washed away the doubts that tried to burrow their way into her brain.
Not a word was spoken until Sawyer stopped at the end of the long gravel drive. Turning, he stared into her eyes with a fire so bright it nearly sent Brea up in flames. “Your man ban is over, darlin’. We’re going to put this fire out between us, even if it means we won’t walk straight for a week. Understood?”
Her mouth went dry while her heart hammered loud and strong. This was it. No more waltzing around the inevitable.
Anticipation and anxiety merged in a kaleidoscope, but for once, it didn’t short-circuit her brain. Unlike before, Brea didn’t envision waking up with Sawyer or standing in his kitchen fixing breakfast. Wasn’t obsessing on when she could move in and share the rest of her life with him.
For the first time in her life, Brea felt as if she were standing on top of a huge mountain, seeing the world in a brand-new light.
It didn’t matter if she was making a monumental mistake or if she only had one night with Sawyer. She’d spent six days sleeping in a bed by herself. Performed a job that didn’t feel at all like work. Spent time with the Grayson family. Though her days and evenings were in the company of many people, when Brea was alone in the privacy of her own room, she never once felt afraid of being alone with herself. In fact, she treasured the quietness, the peacefulness of simply being.
She could be alone with her thoughts, dreams, and feelings, and still be a sexually satisfied woman without needing anything more from a man. Brea finally realized she could have both and be okay all by herself.
“Yes,” she whispered softly.
Put this fire out and don’t want or entice me with anything more.
As Sawyer turned from the driveway and onto the paved road, Brea threw caution, decorum, and her inhibitions to the wind. Leaning across the seat, she began working Sawyer’s belt buckle free.
“What are you doing?” he asked, lifting his arm to give her more room.
“Getting this party started.”
“Not yet.” He gripped a fist in her hair and glanced down at her face before clenching his jaw. “We’re going to start it in the shower with me soaping up every inch of your satiny skin. Then we’ll stop at the sink, ’cause we won’t be able to make it to bed befo
re I need you again. After you scream my name there, I’m going to set you on the marble top of the vanity and nibble your hot pussy like an appetizer. Then once I get you spread out on my bed, I’m going to devour you, eat my fill of you until you’re mindless, limp, and can’t scream my name anymore.”
A hard tremor shook her to the core—her already wet and ready core. Sawyer was on crack if he thought she was going to lie back and take all the pleasure.
“I intend to give as good as I get, cowboy.”
Sawyer chuckled. “If you’re able.”
“Oh, I’m more than able.”
Sawyer pushed down on the gas pedal, reaching Haven and pulling into his driveway a few short minutes later. They’d barely made it through the front door before he snaked his arm around Brea’s waist, slanted his lips over hers, and claimed her with a searing kiss as he backed her up against the wall. The heat rolling off his body felt like a blast furnace.
“I’m going to spend hours seducing you.”
“You seduce me just by breathing,” she whispered.
A crooked smile tugged the corner of his mouth before he cupped her face. Then slowly and methodically, Sawyer bussed his lips over hers before teasing each corner and the pouty bow with the tip of his tongue. His touch was so light, so utterly heart-melting that the urgency humming through Brea’s system ebbed to a slow-rolling burn.
Skimming his hands lightly over her body, Sawyer left an arousing trail of tingles. Each touch, each taunting lick of his tongue unraveled her. And as Sawyer deepened the kiss, he stole a little more of her heart.
A week ago, his painstaking passion would have sent her running in the other direction. But not now. Brea held on to the strength and security she’d achieved. Sawyer would leave a lasting mark on her soul, but he hadn’t earned the right to own it.
Inching his hands down over her hips, Sawyer cupped her between the legs.
“You’re hot, and I know damn well you’re wet,” he murmured against her lips.
Brea couldn’t help but chuckle. “And you’re surprised why?”