by Jenna Jacob
Instead of flopping onto the bed, Sawyer peered down at her as he lovingly stroked his thumb along the hollow of her cheek.
Brea had never felt so treasured, adored…loved.
The empty void inside her was gone. So were the remorse and guilt that had plagued her for allowing men to use her like a come receptacle for too many years. She didn’t have to sell her body in exchange for companionship. Didn’t have to give sex as payment of dues to stay in a shitty relationship.
And to Brea’s surprise, reality splintered her reverie like lightning splitting a mighty oak. Sawyer had spent days trying to prove—in a million subtle and abstract ways—that she was worthy of happiness. All the hours they’d filled, talking, laughing, and zinging one-liners, had been for a reason. All the other things he’d done, like seeking her out to ask if she was doing okay at the camp or covertly flashing her suggestive smiles and playful winks as they worked with the kids. Every time he was near, Sawyer had indirectly touched her with his reassurance and care. He’d bathed her in attention and never once asked or seemed to expect anything in return.
Because he doesn’t put a price on friendship or affection.
As Sawyer slowly pulled from her mouth, worry wrinkled his brow. “Are you okay?”
Brea purred and nodded as she stared at his cock…glistening, swollen, and still straining for more. As he lifted off her midsection, the loss of his body heat sent a chill racing through her. But when he swept her into his arms and tumbled to his side, taking her to the mattress with him, the sliver of cold isolation vanished.
Sawyer’s smoky emerald eyes delved deep as he reached up and brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Your mind is racing like a sprinter who just bitch-slapped a bear. Talk to me, baby. You’re not gnawing on useless guilt, are you?”
“No.”
“Good. That’s the last thing I want between us.”
The fact that he cared and wanted to gauge her feelings—something no man had ever done before—brought tears to her eyes and sent a squall of emotions whipping through her.
“I think I’m simply having a moment of clarity.”
“How so?” He lifted on to one elbow and narrowed his eyes. “You’re not thinking you made another mistake, are you?”
No, even though these postcoital moments were completely unfamiliar, Brea wasn’t assessing her self-worth based on the blow job she’d just given or the satisfaction pumping through her veins. She was too amazed by the lack of desperation to pack up her shit and move in with Sawyer. Shockingly, that wasn’t even on her radar.
The only thing filling every corner of her soul was peace!
That was a first-time-ever, crystal-clear vision of how far she had come. When she’d first arrived in Haven, Brea’s biggest fear was being alone with herself. But she’d quickly learned how much she enjoyed the serenity in just being. Well, in between windows being blown to smithereens and drug lords trying to kill her. Still, all the horrible, terrifying personality flaws she feared she’d discover about herself never materialized. Maybe they never were hiding inside her to begin with.
Where? When? How had such self-deprecating ideas taken root in her brain in the first place? Brea didn’t know, but she planned to do some serious soul-searching and find out.
Sawyer issued a heavy sigh. His lips tightened into a thin line as he stared at her in waiting silence.
“No.” She smiled, relieved when his expression softened. “This wasn’t a mistake.”
“No. It wasn’t. I’m glad you realize that. When I met you that first night at Toot’s, I had no clue what an unexpected surprise you were going to be in my life.”
No. He was the unexpected surprise…a huge one.
“I wowed you with my dazzling personality and easygoing nature, right?” God, she couldn’t even say the words with a straight face.
Sawyer laughed…hard. “Not quite. You were like a rattlesnake, all coiled up and ready to strike. But yeah, I suppose I was dazzled…dazzled by the glow of your sexy ass shining in the moonlight, teetering on that windowsill. You don’t know the restraint it took to keep from grabbing hold of those milky orbs and burying my tongue between your cheeks.”
Even though she didn’t want to be reminded of that embarrassing night, a dirty thrill zipped through her. Yanking the pillow from beneath her head, she smacked him in the arm. Sawyer laughed and knocked it away before shoving her onto her back and straddling her hips again.
Brea was giggling, but her laughter quickly died as she stared at his gorgeous face. God, he truly was a beautiful man, inside and out.
The smile slowly vanished from his lips as he studied the contours of her face. “You’ve taught me something over these past few days, Brea.”
“What?” She was totally puzzled. “How not to climb through a window?”
Sawyer grinned and shook his head. “That, but no. You taught me that my past doesn’t have to define my future. A lesson you need to teach yourself, as well.”
His words slowly sank into her brain. She began to realize that by banishing men from her life, she’d simply traded one set of blinders for another. Men weren’t her enemy, she was, or rather her lack of self-esteem had been the culprit.
But Sawyer had lifted the blinders and taught her something, too—besides what orgasms were supposed to feel like. He’d taught her something far more precious—that she deserved love and respect. He’d shown her the difference between a good man and a worthless, leaching loser.
Her stomach pitched. “Oh, god. This is great…just great!”
“What’s wrong?” he asked, clearly confused.
“My parents…they’ve been right all along.” Brea flung her hands in the air. “Oh, god. You have no idea the ass I’m going to have to kiss now. Shit!”
“Whose ass? Your parents?”
“Yes,” she hissed. “And it chaps my nipples something fierce! Aw, dammit!”
Sawyer blinked and then chuckled. “First of all, you don’t have to kiss anyone’s ass. Not mine, and especially not your parents’. And I’ve got just the thing for your chapped nipples. Don’t worry, I’ll take extra-special care of them.” He bent and flicked his tongue over her pebbled peaks, then raised his head and waggled his brows. His playful antics defused her irritation…like he’d wanted them to. “So tell me, what were your parents right about?”
Brea shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll call them and grovel later.”
“No.” Sawyer frowned. “If they can’t support you through good times and bad, you don’t owe them any explanations. Keep the people who want the best for you by your side. People like Colton, Jade, and…well, me.”
Brea was finding a new sense of courage taking root inside her. She hadn’t turned her back on her parents; they’d turned their backs on her. Still…
“You’re right. But we were close once. I think it’s time I tried to remove the wedge I’ve put between us.”
A ghost of a smile curled his lips. “If it’s important, do it. It’s never too late to change your life. After my divorce, I vowed to never wake up with a woman in my bed, but I’m changing that right now.” He bent and brushed a kiss to her lips. “Stay the night with me, Brea. I want to wake up with you next to me in the morning.”
Waking up beside him is not the same as moving in, the voice in her head quickly assured, driving away the tendrils of panic starting to wend through her.
She opened her mouth to answer, but it was too late. Sawyer’s mouth crashed over hers, erasing all rational thought with a soul-searing kiss.
Heart nearly bursting from her chest, Brea pulled from his lips and begged in a breathless whisper, “Make love to me, Sawyer.”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
The warmth of rightness burned bright within. Sawyer had given her that glow…he’d made her shine. And for the first time in her life, Brea felt totally free. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, the journey—for however long it might last—was the one she’
d been destined to travel with him.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled Sawyer down and kissed him with all the liberation bursting inside her, then pushed past his lips in demand. As a feral growl rolled up from deep in his chest, Brea grinned against his mouth.
Sawyer dragged his wide, calloused hands down her back, leaving little lightning bolts in his wake before gripping the cheeks of her ass and pulling her naked body flush against him. She whimpered as his steely cock throbbed against her stomach. And when he dipped his fingers along the crack of her ass and toyed with her puckered rim, he swallowed her squeal. Tiny, intriguing sparks of pleasure skittered outward, exploding over her nerve endings like firecrackers. Brea whimpered and thrust her hips back, silently giving him the green light for a little ass play.
Sawyer reached lower, coating his fingers with the juices spilling from inside her before smearing the slickness over her gathered ring. Slowly, he worked his finger through the sensitive opening, sending bursts of pleasure rippling through her.
As they feasted on each other’s tongues, Brea reached between their grinding bodies and fisted his cock. She stroked his massive muscle with feathery-light friction, basking in the thick veins throbbing against her palm and Sawyer’s guttural groans vibrating over her tongue.
She wanted him inside her…anywhere…everywhere!
When she pulled back, Brea’s pulse sped up as she stared at the hungry expression lining his face. She’d never grow tired of looking at Sawyer, never tire of laughing, bantering, talking, or giving herself to him.
“You on the pill?” Sawyer asked in a raspy voice teeming with need.
“Yes.”
“I’m clean…”
“Weed stopped touching me months ago. I went…” Brea shook her head. She refused to spoil the moment by talking about anything to do with the asshat. “I-I’m clean, too.”
Capturing her mouth with a hungry kiss, Sawyer hovered over her and dragged his tongue down her body. Brea closed her eyes and sighed as his hands, fingers, lips, and teeth roamed over every inch of her naked flesh. Stopping to lick and suckle her breasts, he didn’t linger but ebbed toward the juncture of her thighs.
Brea opened her eyes and lifted her head from the pillow. She watched as he gripped her legs and spread them wide before he brushed his lips and tongue up the insides of her thighs. His bristly whiskers scraped with a delicious burn. Pulses of pain mixed with pleasure skittered through her while ribbons of lava fluttered in her core.
Kneeling up between her bent legs, Brea widened them, wordlessly inviting him inside her. Sawyer paused and stared at her with pure adoration, and Brea’s heart soared. He cinched his hands at her waist and hoisted her into the middle of the bed, then braced himself on his palms. Keeping his gaze locked with hers, Sawyer lowered his hips until the crest of his cock aligned with her weeping channel.
“From here on out, it’s only me… I’m the only man you’ll ever give yourself to.”
Her heart fluttered wildly, and her eyes grew wide. Surprise, like a flooded creek, swelled inside. Brea swallowed tightly, though her mouth had gone dry.
Sawyer cocked his head. “Did you actually think I was going to let you get away? I’m done sleeping alone in my bed, dreaming about you night after night. I’ve found the missing pieces of my heart, darlin’…and they’re you. Tell me…tell me I’m the only one you’ll ever want…ever need.”
His words singed her soul like a branding iron. His stare grew even hotter, intense and unwavering. He was a rogue, but a damn sexy one.
Karma had indeed come back, but not to bite her in the ass…to save her.
Though Brea had no clue if she and Sawyer would last till the end of time or crash and burn by morning, it didn’t matter. She knew in her heart that she’d survive. The only thing she wouldn’t survive was giving up without seeing where a relationship with this crazy, sometimes infuriating man with an enormous heart and strong arms could take her.
If she ended up having to wrap another damn tourniquet around her heart someday, so be it.
Giving up men and cordoning off her heart wasn’t the answer…wasn’t living.
Life was taking risks, winning, losing, and never tossing in the towel.
“Say it, Brea,” he whispered so low she almost didn’t hear him.
“You’re the only man I’ll ever want or need, Neville Sawyer Grayson.” A huge smile speared his face. “Now make love to me like you mean it.”
He laid waste to her mouth, growling and groaning…swallowing her whimpers and mewls as he slowly inched inside her. Holding her prisoner with a half-lidded stare, Sawyer filled and stretch her core, burning and marking her with a benevolent passion Brea never knew existed.
She was writhing, whimpering, and moaning, while her tunnel clutched at him, pulling him deeper inside her while their tongues tangled in a lovers’ dance. He was savage, gentle, demanding, and tender…drowning her in a dichotomy of sensations that overwhelmed. Lost in the sensations Sawyer bestowed, Brea gave up on trying to focus on each one individually and basked in the driving tempo, each driving her higher and higher toward the stars.
“Come for me, darlin’,” Sawyer rasped, holding her with a gaze flaming in need. “I’ve got you, gorgeous. I won’t let you fall…ever.”
Brea’s heart, mind, body, and soul burst with a depth of love and trust she’d never known as, together, they shattered into a million shards of shimmering perfection.
Chapter Eleven
Sawyer
* * *
They spent the night, and the entire next day, discovering ways to drain pleasure from each other. Sawyer reveled in joy when Brea begged for mercy as he massaged her clit each time after she shattered, before soaring her to the heavens again.
In between the straining, screaming orgasms, they snuggled, showered, raided the refrigerator. And when night fell, they snuck outside to relax in the hot tub and stared at the stars while confessions flowed freely, both his and hers. Sawyer soon discovered he’d never met a woman who’d effortlessly altered his life like Brea.
In the beginning, when he’d only been interested in bedding the beauty, he’d thought her the most complicated woman on the planet. But somewhere along the way, his opinion had changed. It might have been the night she’d locked herself out of the house…the night he’d seen her sassy, determined side. Or it could have been during the hot tub fiasco when he’d glimpsed the scars other men had left on her soul. Even then, Sawyer wanted to move heaven and earth to erase them for her. Maybe it was simply the fact that two wounded survivors had found a reason to believe in love again.
Sawyer didn’t know exactly why he’d fallen so deep and fast, but he couldn’t deny the fact that being with Brea made him finally feel whole again. He only knew he didn’t want to lose her…wanted to throw his stupid vows away and live the rest of his life with her. Wanted to watch her belly swell with their children and grow old by her side.
Cock soft and sated…for now, Sawyer lifted to an elbow, rested his chin in his palm, and watched Brea sleep. As her even breaths floated over his flesh, his chest tightened, and Sawyer knew he’d found his soul mate. The corners of his mouth lifted with a contented smile as he lay back down, closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.
When he woke, sunshine was streaming in through the window, and Brea’s succulent backside was pressed against his crotch. Her silky hair lay draped over his shoulder as she softly snored. He couldn’t wait to tease her about the cute noises she made in her sleep over breakfast.
Breakfast. Shit! Was it Sunday? No, it was Monday. Fuck! A blast of panic blew through his veins. New guests were due to arrive at the ranch…if they weren’t already there. Sawyer didn’t want to wake his sleeping beauty, but he had to check the time on his cell phone. Easing from her sleeping body, he rolled off the bed, grabbed the device from his jeans.
Whew, only seven twenty. Plenty of time to wake up Brea properly.
After setting his phone bac
k down, Sawyer strolled to the bathroom to relieve his bladder. When he returned, he discovered Brea had rolled onto her back. Her arms and legs were slightly parted.
If that’s not an invitation to violate her a million ways to make the devil blush, I don’t know what is.
Sawyer crawled onto the bed, then starting at her ankles, he kissed his way up her body. Mid-calf, Brea moaned, then giggled when he reached her knee.
“Stop. I’m ticklish.”
“You probably shouldn’t have told me that.”
“Don’t you dare,” she warned.
Quickly drawing up her knees, she caught him square in the jaw. Sawyer let out a howl of pain and cupped the side of his face as lightning exploded through his skull. Brea’s eyes grew wide as mortification lined her face.
“Oh, my god. Are you all right? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“I’m fine, but this wasn’t how I’d planned to wake you up.”
“Let me get you an ice pack.”
Brea started to leap out of bed, but he grabbed her arm.
“No. Really. I’m okay. It just needs a kiss or two.” He gave her the saddest puppy-dog eyes he could muster and pointed to his still-throbbing jaw. Brea rolled her eyes and smirked before rising to her knees and dotting a row of tender kisses to his injury.
“Is that the only place that hurts?” she asked coyly.
“Not by a long shot.” He thrust his erection against her stomach. “Maybe you can kiss it in the shower.”
She laughed and slung her arms around his neck, pulling his mouth to hers. “What makes you think we’re going to make it out of bed?”
“I love the way you think.” With a growl, he kissed her and pressed her back to the mattress just as his cell phone rang. He inwardly cursed the interruption, but at least it wasn’t a shotgun blast this time.
“Hold that thought,” he instructed before plucking his phone off the floor.
Brea flashed him a devilish grin, then spread her legs and began toying with her clit. “Make it fast, cowboy.”