by Bella Street
Through my tears, through my dreams
We'll be here together
In Paradise
As the last notes faded away, Seffy opened her eyes to find Lani with tears streaming down her face.
“It's been so long, Sef. I never thought I'd hear you sing again.” She reached out and grabbed Seffy's hand. “Thank you, sweetie. Thank you so much.”
Addison kept her gaze averted, though Seffy detected the glint of moisture.
She was glad she sang the song. It helped with the grief. Put things in perspective.
Prepared her for the next step.
As long as I have a chance to see Trent again, I have hope. If I have to be marked, let it be with that.
A slight weight lifted from her shoulders. Terror and dread still fought for dominance in her gut, but at least she felt there might be a path through after all.
“Oh my goodness, I'm a mess!” Lani said, embarrassed. “I need to go down below to get some tissue.”
Seffy watched the brunette scoot across the cushions, then climb down the ladder.
When she was out of sight, Addison cleared her throat.
Seffy turned toward her.
“You're leaving us, aren't you?”
The water was running in the room below, so Seffy knew Lani wouldn't be able to hear.
Choked with emotion, she was unable to confirm the words. At the same time, she knew she wouldn't get another moment alone with Addison.
“Take...take care of Gareth.” Her voice broke but she gritted her teeth and went on. “He has always taken care of us in his way.”
The redhead's stark expression made continuing difficult. “And thank you for speaking the truth to me when no one else would.”
Addison looked away. “It was less truth and more jealousy.”
“Still, I know even when we were at odds, you had my back.”
Addison tilted her head, stretching her lips into a rueful line. “More or less, I guess. About as much as you had mine.”
“And there you go again with the truth.”
Addison's smile slipped and moisture filmed her eyes. “Sef—”
“Goodness, sorry to go all weepy like that,” Lani said as her head popped back into the Light Room. “Girl hormones. Or something.”
Seffy was secretly relieved for the intrusion. What was the point of saying anything more?
Taking a mental step forward felt about as exhausting as the real thing. She didn't have much endurance left as it was.
“You know what would be fun?” Lani tucked her hair behind her ear. “We can pretend we're having a girls sleepover, just like we used to.” She dabbed at an errant tear. “Is that okay with you, Sef?”
Seffy nodded, and together they pulled blankets up under their chins, burrowed into the cushions, and closed their eyes. No one spoke. She pressed the shirt to her cheek and willed sleep to come for what lay ahead.
When Seffy awoke to the molten pink light the next morning, she looked down at her friends. Dried tears stained Addison's face. Seffy lightly touched her hair. She looked at Lani. Another touch, this time on the shoulder.
Then was gone.
Chapter Twenty-One
The earthquake knocked her against the bathroom wall.
Like this is all I need.
She grimly returned to the mirror and examined her reflection.
It was dumb, but she wanted to at least appear presentable. Her hair curled softly under the bathroom lights, and concealer hid the worst of the shadows under her eyes and faint bruising under her skin.
A little blush and lip gloss and she looked halfway human. Nothing she could do with the eyes. Mascara couldn't alleviate the bleakness shining from their depths.
It's gonna have to be enough.
Seffy smoothed the folds of her tracksuit—the one with the least amount of holes. Underneath, the lapels of the white shirt peeked out. It had felt strange and yet somehow right when she slid it over her skin.
Admittedly, the bloodstains disturbed her, but once her pink velour hoodie was in place, her trembling eased.
Her fingers touched the necklace which held the sparkly pink rhinestone J from her original suit, along with Trent's wedding band, and the key that seemed to fit strange locks.
The rhinestone J probably had nothing to do with time-travel, but it was a talisman that brought a measure of comfort—something in short supply at the moment.
Trent's ring was something else entirely. It was her connection, the only solid thing she had left of him. She pressed the ring to her chest until it was warmed through by her skin.
And the key. It wasn't sentiment that kept it on the chain. Maybe it was a reminder of the places that had been unlocked, and the others still sealed up.
You never knew when you might need a key.
Seffy bent down, doubled knotted her shoe laces, then returned to her bedside.
A stack of photos lay on the nightstand where she'd gathered them together earlier. She sifted through the stack one last time, wishing she could burn the images on her heart and mind, terrified Trent's face would eventually fade from her memory.
But maybe...maybe if what Fenn said was true, maybe she'd see him again. Would she sense a connection? Would they just 'know' the moment their eyes met?
Seffy thought back to the first time she saw Trent and sighed. Probably not.
What if they didn't find each other?
What if this time he didn't reach out for her?
Biting the inside of her cheek, she took a calming breath. I'm marked by hope. Not despair.
She slipped the photos into the kangaroo pockets of her hoodie and swallowed hard.
I can do this.
I have to do this.
She pressed her hands over her pockets. And Trent is with me. Somehow. Somewhere.
Seffy glanced at the clock. Eight thirty. Fenn had called at eight to make sure she was up. She didn't know how long it would take to get everything set up for...whatever, but she also knew she didn't want any protracted goodbyes. With one last look at the beige room, at the perfectly made bed where she had shared her first night with Trent, she turned and made her way out into the hall.
I can do this. I can do this.
Because Trent would want her to.
As she began the trek toward the psychonautics hallway, she realized she hadn't dreamed of him in the last few nights.
The last dream she distinctly remembered was the one where he'd asked her what she was afraid of.
If he was no longer asking the question did that mean she'd conquered her fears?
That the frantic butterflies in her stomach weren't real?
“Where were you last night?”
Seffy spun around at the sound of Gareth's voice. It was just about the last thing she expected. “Gareth!”
“I said where were you last night?” His haggard expression and wild hair set off mental alarm bells.
“I...stayed with the girls.”
“Don't lie to me, Sef. I looked in all your rooms.”
“We were up in the Light Room.”
His eyes narrowed. “Where are you going now?”
Oh, hell. She pulled in a silent breath, hoping the oxygen would clear her mind. “For a walk.” The lame answer made her wince.
“You seem like you're going somewhere else.”
A sharp answer sprang to her lips, but she didn't want her last words with Gareth to be negative. “Fenn asked to see me.”
“This early in the morning?”
She lifted her chin, struggling to keep her expression even. “Gareth, is there something you needed?”
“Yes. I want you to come with me.”
She frowned. “I can't right now. Maybe later.”
Gareth strode forward and took her arm. “Now.”
Panic seized her. Seffy tried to tug her arm away. “I said I can't!”
He began pulling her down the hallway in the opposite direction. “Why do you fight me at every turn? When all I'
ve ever wanted to do was help you?”
“Gareth, please, I need to do something first, then you can take me wherever you want, okay?”
“No more excuses, Seffy. It's time to take care of this once and for all.”
“Take care of what?”
He stopped in the dimly lit hallway and stared at her, his eyes hard. “You.”
Seffy gazed at him in horror when she realized something within him had become unhinged. “You need to let me go.”
“I will, when I am finally convinced you are no longer on the path to self-destruction.” He resumed half-dragging her down the corridor.
Seffy cajoled him, fought him, tried to dig in her heels, all to no avail.
He had the bit between his teeth and ignored her pleas as if he were deaf.
They finally arrived at a door where he pushed her inside.
It took her a moment to register the details—a padded chair with restraints. A masked and gloved person in scrubs. A silver tray containing a glass bottle of fluid and a syringe.
She had no doubt Gareth had found the Thorazine. And she had a feeling the real thing would be a lot worse than what she imagined.
She turned to him, fury harshening her tone. “Why not just just go all the way and do a lobotomy?”
His face darkened. “I couldn't. It's too...barbaric.”
“Well, I'm glad you draw the line somewhere.”
His expression hardened. “You've been troubled since the day we met, Seffy. And I'm tired of Olga's reticence. It's past time for half-measures. This will allow you to get a grip. It will calm your anxieties for once and for all.”
She shook off his arm. “You mean it will make me malleable! I'll become the girl you've always envisioned.”
“This isn't about me,” he said gruffly.
Seffy remembered his tears, his horror at reliving the nightmare of finding her with the mayor. “Yes, it is. More than you can imagine.”
“Get in the seat, Seffy.”
She glanced at the man in scrubs, curling her hands into fists. “Who the hell are you?”
He didn't answer, and the thick plastic wrap-around glasses made him impossible to identify.
“Now.”
“Gareth, there's no way in hell I'm letting you do this.”
“You'll find peace, miss,” the man said.
“Shut up and butt out!”
“Seffy, you're only making it more obvious that you need this procedure. In fact, your behavior makes me think Olga was lying about treating you at all. So you can sit quietly and it will be over in a matter of seconds, or you will be sedated first.” He pushed her into the chair.
She went limp, her mind racing. Gareth was stronger—she couldn't fight him. The other man had a pharmaceutical restraint handy. As long as she wasn't tied down, she had a chance.
She looked at the needle on the silver tray like it was some species of poisonous snake. The venom would bite even more.
It must hurt like hell.
But she'd already experienced so much pain, what was a little more? Maybe the treatment could bring her peace. Either way, she wouldn't know whether it worked or not because she'd be a zombie—right back to where she started.
Seffy struggled to control her breathing. She gripped the armrests and looked at Gareth, who if possible, appeared more freaked than she was.
How far gone was he if he thought this was the only way? How would Gareth be affected if he was successful in doping her?
He wouldn't find the peace he'd obviously been craving.
Would Addison take care of him the way she'd asked? If not Addison, then who would look out for him? He needed someone to rescue. He needed to be the hero.
But a zombie didn't need rescuing.
The man picked up the needle. “You must remain perfectly still,” he said. “You will feel a sharp pinch, and some pressure, and then it will be over.” He looked over at Gareth. “If I could get your assistance in holding her arm.”
Gareth, white-lipped and tense, approached her.
Seffy tensed, planning to kick the man in the crotch the second he was close enough.
“Oh, my God, why am I not surprised?”
The man jerked back at the interruption that came from the hall. Seffy turned to see Eva and Cynthia standing outside the doorway. She blinked in shock.
Why are they wearing pink tracksuits? Had they really gone through Jared's room and picked through his things?
“We heard yelling and were like, what do you want to bet it's that seizure freak from Montana? And here you are.”
“Get out of here!” Gareth barked. “And take off those tracksuits!”
“Why?” Eva said, smoothing down the front of her suit. “Why is Seffy the only who gets to wear pink? We're sick of 70s castoffs.”
Seffy glanced at the man, and noticed he'd pulled a gun out and was bringing it up level to her head. Shock and adrenaline hit hard and fast. She sank down in the chair and kicked out at his hand. A shot rang out as he lost control of the gun.
The moment she heard the gun clatter onto the floor, she lurched from the chair.
A shriek sounded from the hallway.
“Grab her!” the man yelled.
“Who are you shooting at?” Gareth asked, aghast.
The man went for his gun.
Gareth caught her around the waist, shielding her with his body, but she writhed free and got to the gun first.
She rolled over and fired at the man. An empty click was the only response.
Suddenly the sound of another shot whizzed down the hall. Outside the door, Eva collapsed.
Cynthia began to scream.
Seffy edged toward the door, holding out the useless gun as the man advanced on her.
“What the hell?”
But it wasn't Gareth who uttered the words. It was someone down the hall.
She leaned toward the door and looked out.
At the same moment, a hole appeared in Cynthia's head and her body accordioned on top of Eva's.
Seffy's throat went dry when she saw the man responsible. He was dressed all in black, in modern clothes. His gun arm remained extended, his dark expression confused.
Until he saw her.
His eyes narrowed. “How many are there? There's supposed to be just one.”
Shock at the wanton deaths of the girls on the floor made Seffy's head swim.
“Seffy!” Gareth gasped.
On some level, she was aware of him grappling with the man in scrubs.
The man in black approached her with his gun pointed at her head. “Seffy. That's the name they told me. Got a bit confused there when I saw the other two in pink. Nice trick.”
Sagging against the wall, she moistened her lips. “Did Verity send you?”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a sneer as the gun came in contact with her forehead.
She stared at him, bracing for impact, too stunned to fight back.
The sneer slid from his mouth as his body jerked over and over.
He tipped toward her like a felled tree. Seffy scrambled backward, desperate to avoid his touch.
When he landed hard on the ground, she looked down the hall and saw Malone emerging from around the corner.
His green eyes locked on something behind her. He fired again.
Seffy dropped to the ground, hands over her head, and looked around. The man in scrubs lay in a crumpled heap just outside the door.
Breathing hard, Gareth stared at the pile of bodies at his feet.
“What's going on?” Seffy shrieked.
Malone lowered his gun, a strange look of satisfaction on his face. “Guess those two didn't catch the bus. Damn security force left us high and dry.”
Seffy sat in a stupor. The assassins or the girls?
“You gonna end this, princess?”
End this? Seffy sucked in a breath and struggled to her feet. “Yes.”
“You better go. Fenn's waiting.” He turned and jogged down a nearb
y corner.
Seffy took one last look at the girls. She didn't like them, but they didn't deserve to die. A breakdown threatened once again. She firmed her resolve.
Verity must be stopped.
She bolted forward, intent on getting to the pyschonautics hallway.
By the heavy breathing behind her, she knew Gareth was close at hand.
“Seffy, don't do this!” He tried to grab her around the waist.
“Do what?” she cried, fighting him with all her strength. “Get lobotomized?”
“Be reasonable!” He caught her arms in a cruel grip.
“You be reasonable!” She glared at him, fear mixed with fury and pain. “Did you trip over Cynthia and Eva's bodies to come after me? Look around, Gareth. Maybe I'm not the problem here!”
“I'm not talking about the compound. Nothing has changed, no matter what happened to those girls. What's important is that you need to stop running from your problems! It's time to stand up and deal!”
“Right backatcha!” She shoved at him with all her weight.
An earthquake sent tremors beneath their feet, making her swerve crazily to one side.
Desperation kept her upright. She heaved harder.
Gareth lost his balance and his grip on her arms at the same time, cursing as he hit the floor.
Seffy staggered from his prone form even as he swiped at her.
She ran past her room, around the corner, past Trent's room, and headed to the double doors.
She skidded to a stop when she saw the chains were back in place. Oh, no!
Frustration made her movements clumsy as she yanked off the necklace and scrabbled for the key.
She fitted it into the lock, popped the padlock, and removed enough of the chains to squeeze through.
Her foot caught on something and she fell forward, splatting onto the floor.
Dazed, she struggled to her feet and pulled the door shut.
That's when she saw the inch wide crack in the floor, separating one hallway from the other.
Gareth appeared at the window breathing hard, fogging up the glass.
He looked down at the chains and began pulling them away. Seffy spun around and headed for the last room.
Before she reached it, she heard him in the hall.
“Aren't you forgetting something?”
The strange note in his voice made her pause.