by Bram Stoker
CHAPTER XVIII.
/Dr. Seward's Diary./
_30 September._--I got home at five o'clock, and found that Godalmingand Morris had not only arrived, but had already studied the transcriptof the various diaries and letters which Harker and his wonderful wifehad made and arranged. Harker had not yet returned from his visit tothe carriers' men, of whom Dr. Hennessey had written to me. Mrs. Harkergave us a cup of tea, and I can honestly say that, for the first timesince I have lived in it, this old house seemed like _home_. When we hadfinished, Mrs. Harker said:--
"Dr. Seward, may I ask a favour? I want to see your patient, Mr.Renfield. Do let me see him. What you have said of him in your diaryinterests me so much!" She looked so appealing and so pretty that Icould not refuse her, and there was no possible reason why I should; soI took her with me. When I went into the room, I told the man that alady would like to see him; to which he simply answered: "Why?"
"She is going through the house, and wants to see every one in it," Ianswered. "Oh, very well," he said: "let her come in, by all means; butjust wait a minute till I tidy up the place." His method of tidying waspeculiar: he simply swallowed all the flies and spiders in the boxesbefore I could stop him. It was quite evident that he feared, or wasjealous of, some interference. When he had got through his disgustingtask, he said cheerfully: "Let the lady come in," and sat down on theedge of his bed with his head down, but with his eyelids raised so thathe could see her as she entered. For a moment I thought that he mighthave some homicidal intent; I remembered how quiet he had been justbefore he attacked me in my own study, and I took care to stand whereI could seize him at once if he attempted to make a spring at her. Shecame into the room with an easy gracefulness which would at once commandthe respect of any lunatic--for easiness is one of the qualities madpeople most respect. She walked over to him, smiling pleasantly, andheld out her hand.
"Good evening, Mr. Renfield," said she. "You see, I know you, for Dr.Seward has told me of you." He made no immediate reply, but eyed her allover intently with a set frown on his face. This look gave way to oneof wonder, which merged in doubt; then, to my intense astonishment, hesaid:--
"You're not the girl the doctor wanted to marry, are you? You can't be,you know, for she's dead." Mrs. Harker smiled sweetly as she replied:--
"Oh no! I have a husband of my own, to whom I was married before I eversaw Dr. Seward, or he me. I am Mrs. Harker."
"Then what are you doing here?"
"My husband and I are staying on a visit with Dr. Seward."
"Then don't stay."
"But why not?" I thought that this style of conversation might not bepleasant to Mrs. Harker, any more than it was to me, so I joined in:--
"How did you know I wanted to marry any one?" His reply was simplycontemptuous, given in a pause in which he turned his eyes from Mrs.Harker to me, instantly turning them back again:--
"What an asinine question!"
"I don't see that at all, Mr. Renfield," said Mrs. Harker, at oncechampioning me. He replied to her with as much courtesy and respect ashe had shown contempt to me:--
"You will, of course, understand, Mrs. Harker, that when a man is lovedand honoured as our host is, everything regarding him is of interest inour little community. Dr. Seward is loved not only by his household andhis friends, but even by his patients, who, being some of them hardlyin mental equilibrium, are apt to distort causes and effects. Since Imyself have been an inmate of a lunatic asylum, I cannot but noticethat the sophistic tendencies of some of its inmates lean towards theerrors of _non causa_ and _ignoratio elenchi_." I positively opened myeyes at this new development. Here was my own pet lunatic--the mostpronounced of his type that I had ever met with--talking elementalphilosophy, and with the manner of a polished gentleman. I wonder if itwas Mrs. Harker's presence which had touched some chord in his memory.If this new phase was spontaneous, or in any way due to her unconsciousinfluence, she must have some rare gift or power.
We continued to talk for some time; and, seeing that he was seeminglyquite reasonable, she ventured, looking at me questioningly as shebegan, to lead him to his favourite topic. I was again astonished,for he addressed himself to the question with the impartiality of thecompletest sanity; he even took himself as an example when he mentionedcertain things.
"Why, I myself am an instance of a man who had a strange belief. Indeed,it was no wonder that my friends were alarmed, and insisted on mybeing put under control. I used to fancy that life was a positive andperpetual entity, and that by consuming a multitude of live things, nomatter how low in the scale of creation, one might indefinitely prolonglife. At times I held the belief so strongly that I actually tried totake human life. The doctor here will bear me out that on one occasionI tried to kill him for the purpose of strengthening my vital powersby the assimilation with my own body of his life through the medium ofhis blood--relying, of course, upon the Scriptural phrase, 'For theblood is the life.' Though, indeed, the vendor of a certain nostrum hasvulgarised the truism to the very point of contempt. Isn't that true,doctor?" I nodded assent, for I was so amazed that I hardly knew what Iought to think or say; it was hard to imagine that I had seen him eatup his spiders and flies not five minutes before. Looking at my watch,I saw that I should go to the station to meet Van Helsing, so I toldMrs. Harker that it was time to leave. She came at once, after sayingpleasantly to Mr. Renfield: "Good-bye, and I hope I may see you often,under auspices pleasanter to yourself," to which, to my astonishment, hereplied:--
"Good-bye, my dear. I pray God I may never see your sweet face again.May He bless and keep you!"
When I went to the station to meet Van Helsing I left the boys behindme. Poor Art seemed more cheerful than he has been since Lucy first tookill, and Quincey is more like his own bright self than he has been formany a long day.
Van Helsing stepped from the carriage with the eager nimbleness of aboy. He saw me at once, and rushed up to me, saying:--
"Ah, friend John, how goes all? Well? So! I have been busy, for I comehere to stay if need be. All affairs are settled with me, and I havemuch to tell. Madam Mina is with you? Yes. And her so fine husband? AndArthur and my friend Quincey, they are with you, too? Good!"
As I drove to the house I told him of what had passed, and of how my owndiary had come to be of some use through Mrs. Harker's suggestion; atwhich the Professor interrupted me:--
"Ah, that wonderful Madam Mina! She has man's brain--a brain that aman should have were he much gifted--and woman's heart. The good Godfashioned her for a purpose, believe me, when He made that so goodcombination. Friend John, up to now fortune has made that woman of helpto us; after to-night she must not have to do with this so terribleaffair. It is not good that she run a risk so great. We men aredetermined--nay, are we not pledged?--to destroy this monster; but it isno part for a woman. Even if she be not harmed, her heart may fail herin so much and so many horrors; and hereafter she may suffer--both inwaking, from her nerves, and in sleep, from her dreams. And, besides,she is young woman and not so long married; there may be other thingsto think of some time, if not now. You tell me she has wrote all, thenshe must consult with us; but to-morrow she say good-bye to this work,and we go alone." I agreed heartily with him, and then I told him whatwe had found in his absence: that the house which Dracula had bought wasthe very next one to my own. He was amazed, and a great concern seemedto come on him. "Oh that we had known it before!" he said, "for then wemight have reached him in time to save poor Lucy. However, 'the milkthat is spilt cries not out afterwards,' as you say. We shall not thinkof that, but go on our way to the end." Then he fell into a silence thatlasted till we entered my own gateway. Before we went to prepare fordinner he said to Mrs. Harker:--
"I am told, Madam Mina, by my friend John that you and your husband haveput up in exact order all things that have been, up to this moment."
"Not up to this moment, Professor," she said impulsively, "but up tothis morning."
"But why not up to now? We have seen hitherto
how good light all thelittle things have made. We have told our secrets, and yet no one whohas told is the worse for it."
Mrs. Harker began to blush, and taking a paper from her pocket, shesaid:--
"Dr. Van Helsing, will you read this, and tell me if it must go in? Itis my record of to-day. I too have seen the need of putting down atpresent everything, however trivial; but there is little in this exceptwhat is personal. Must it go in?" The Professor read it over gravely,and handed it back, saying:--
"It need not go in if you do not wish it; but pray that it may. It canbut make your husband love you the more, and all us, your friends, morehonour you--as well as more esteem and love." She took it back withanother blush and a bright smile.
And so now, up to this very hour, all the records we have are completeand in order. The Professor took away one copy to study after dinner,and before our meeting, which is fixed for nine o'clock. The rest of ushave already read everything; so when we meet in the study we shall allbe informed as to facts, and can arrange our plan of battle with thisterrible and mysterious enemy.
_Mina Harker's Journal._
_30 September._--When we met in Dr. Seward's study two hours afterdinner, which had been at six o'clock, we unconsciously formed a sortof board or committee. Professor Van Helsing took the head of thetable, to which Dr. Seward motioned him as he came into the room. Hemade me sit next to him on his right, and asked me to act as secretary;Jonathan sat next to me. Opposite us were Lord Godalming, Dr. Seward,and Mr. Morris--Lord Godalming being next to the Professor, and Dr.Seward in the centre. The Professor said:--
"I may, I suppose, take it that we are all acquainted with the factsthat are in these papers." We all expressed assent, and he went on:--
"Then it were, I think good that I tell you something of the kindof enemy with which we have to deal. I shall then make known to yousomething of the history of this man, which has been ascertained forme. So we then can discuss how we shall act, and can take our measureaccording.
"There are such beings as vampires; some of us have evidence thatthey exist. Even had we not the proof of our own unhappy experience,the teachings and the records of the past give proof enough for sanepeoples. I admit that at the first I was sceptic. Were it not thatthrough long years I have trained myself to keep an open mind, I couldnot have believe until such time as that fact thunder on my ear. 'See!see! I prove; I prove.' Alas! Had I known at the first what now Iknow--nay, had I even guess at him--one so precious life had been sparedto many of us who did love her. But that is gone; and we must so work,that other poor souls perish not, whilst we can save. The _nosferatu_do not die like the bee when he sting once. He is only stronger; andbeing stronger, have yet more power to work evil. This vampire whichis amongst us is of himself so strong in person as twenty men; he isof cunning more than mortal, for his cunning be the growth of ages; hehave still the aids of necromancy, which is, as his etymology imply,the divination by the dead, and all the dead that he can come nigh toare for him at command; he is brute, and more than brute; he is devilin callous, and the heart of him is not; he can, within limitations,appear at will when, and where, and in any of the forms that are tohim; he can, within his range, direct the elements: the storm, the fog,the thunder; he can command all the meaner things: the rat, and theowl, and the bat--the moth, and the fox, and the wolf; he can grow andbecome small; and he can at times vanish and come unknown. How then arewe to begin our strife to destroy him? How shall we find his where; andhaving found it, how can we destroy? My friends, this is much; it is aterrible task that we undertake, and there may be consequence to makethe brave shudder. For if we fail in this our fight he must surely win;and then where end we? Life is nothings; I heed him not. But to failhere, is not mere life or death. It is that we become as him; that wehenceforward become foul things of the night like him--without heart orconscience, preying on the bodies and the souls of those we love best.To us for ever are the gates of heaven shut; for who shall open them tous again? We go on for all time abhorred by all; a blot on the face ofGod's sunshine; an arrow in the side of Him who died for man. But we areface to face with duty; and in such case must we shrink? For me, I say,no; but then I am old, and life, with his sunshine, his fair places, hissong of birds, his music, and his love, lie far behind. You others areyoung. Some have seen sorrow; but there are fair days yet in store. Whatsay you?"
Whilst he was speaking Jonathan had taken my hand. I feared, oh somuch, that the appalling nature of our danger was overcoming him when Isaw his hand stretch out; but it was life to me to feel its touch--sostrong, so self-reliant, so resolute. A brave man's hand can speak foritself; it does not even need a woman's love to hear its music.
When the Professor had done speaking my husband looked in my eyes, and Iin his; there was no need for speaking between us.
"I answer for Mina and myself," he said.
"Count me in, Professor," said Mr. Quincey Morris, laconically as usual.
"I am with you," said Lord Godalming, "for Lucy's sake, if for no otherreason."
Dr. Seward simply nodded. The Professor stood up, and, after laying hisgolden crucifix on the table, held out his hand on either side. I tookhis right hand, and Lord Godalming his left; Jonathan held my right withhis left and stretched across to Mr. Morris. So as we all took hands oursolemn compact was made. I felt my heart icy cold, but it did not evenoccur to me to draw back. We resumed our places, and Dr. Van Helsingwent on with a sort of cheerfulness which showed that the serious workhad begun. It was to be taken as gravely, and in as businesslike a way,as any other transaction of life:--
"Well, you know what we have to contend against; but we, too, are notwithout strength. We have on our side power of combination--a powerdenied to the vampire kind; we have resources of science; we are freeto act and think; and the hours of the day and the night are oursequally. In fact, so far as our powers extend, they are unfettered, andwe are free to use them. We have self-devotion in a cause, and an end toachieve which is not a selfish one. These things are much.
"Now let us see how far the general powers arrayed against us arerestrict, and how the individual cannot. In fine, let us consider thelimitations of the vampire in general, and of this one in particular.
"All we have to go upon are traditions and superstitions. These donot at the first appear much, when the matter is one of life anddeath--nay of more than either life or death. Yet must we be satisfied;in the first place because we have to be--no other means is at ourcontrol--and secondly, because, after all, these things--tradition andsuperstition--are everything. Does not the belief in vampires restfor others--though not, alas! for us--on them? A year ago which of uswould have received such a possibility, in the midst of our scientific,sceptical, matter-of-fact nineteenth century? We even scouted a beliefthat we saw justified under our very eyes. Take it, then, that thevampire, and the belief in his limitations and his cure, rest for themoment on the same base. For, let me tell you, he is known everywherethat men have been. In old Greece, in old Rome; he flourish in Germanyall over, in France, in India, even in the Chersonese; and in China,so far from us in all ways, there even is he, and the peoples fear himat this day. He have follow the wake of the berserker Icelander, thedevil-begotten Hun, the Slav, the Saxon, the Magyar. So far, then,we have all we may act upon; and let me tell you that very much ofthe beliefs are justified by what we have seen in our own so unhappyexperience. The vampire live on, and cannot die by mere passing ofthe time; he can flourish when that he can fatten on the blood ofthe living. Even more, we have seen amongst us that he can even growyounger; that his vital faculties grow strenuous, and seem as thoughthey refresh themselves when his special pabulum is plenty. But hecannot flourish without this diet; he eat not as others. Even friendJonathan, who lived with him for weeks, did never see him to eat, never!He throws no shadow; he make in the mirror no reflect, as again Jonathanobserve. He has the strength of many in his hand--witness againJonathan when he shut the door against the wolfs, and when he help himfrom the diligence t
oo. He can transform himself to wolf, as we gatherfrom the ship arrival in Whitby, when he tear open the dog; he can be asbat, as Madam Mina saw him on the window at Whitby, and as friend Johnsaw him fly from this so near house, and as my friend Quincey saw him atthe window of Miss Lucy. He can come in mist which he create--that nobleship's captain proved him of this; but, from what we know, the distancehe can make this mist is limited, and it can only be round himself. Hecome on moonlight rays as elemental dust--as again Jonathan saw thosesisters in the castle of Dracula. He become so small--we ourselves sawMiss Lucy, ere she was at peace, slip through a hair-breadth space atthe tomb door. He can, when once he find his way, come out from anythingor into anything, no matter how close it be bound or even fused upwith fire--solder you call it. He can see in the dark--no small powerthis, in a world which is one half shut from the light. Ah, but hearme through. He can do all these things, yet he is not free. Nay; he iseven more prisoner than the slave of the galley, than the madman in hiscell. He cannot go where he lists; he who is not of nature has yet toobey some of nature's laws--why we know not. He may not enter anywhereat the first, unless there be some one of the household who bid him tocome; though afterwards he can come as he please. His power ceases, asdoes that of all evil things, at the coming of the day. Only at certaintimes can he have limited freedom. If he be not at the place whitherhe is bound, he can only change himself at noon or at exact sunriseor sunset. These things are we told, and in this record of ours wehave proof by inference. Thus, whereas he can do as he will within hislimit, when he have his earth-home, his coffin-home, his hell-home, theplace unhallowed, as we saw when he went to the grave of the suicide atWhitby; still at other time he can only change when the time come. It issaid, too, that he can only pass running water at the slack or the floodof the tide. Then there are things which so afflict him that he has nopower, as the garlic that we know of; and as for things sacred, as thissymbol, my crucifix, that was amongst us even now when we resolve, tothem he is nothing, but in their presence he take his place far off andsilent with respect. There are others, too, which I shall tell you of,lest in our seeking we may need them. The branch of wild rose on hiscoffin keep him that he move not from it; a sacred bullet fired into thecoffin kill him so that he be true dead; and as for the stake throughhim, we know already of its peace; or the cut-off head that giveth rest.We have seen it with our eyes.
"Thus when we find the habitation of this man-that-was, we can confinehim to his coffin and destroy him, if we obey what we know. But he isclever. I have asked my friend Arminius, of Buda-Pesth University, tomake his record; and, from all the means that are, he tell me of whathe has been. He must, indeed, have been that Voivode Dracula who wonhis name against the Turk, over the great river on the very frontier ofTurkey-land. If it be so, then was he no common man; for in that time,and for centuries after, he was spoken of as the cleverest and themost cunning, as well as the bravest of the sons of the 'land beyondthe forest.' That mighty brain and that iron resolution went with himto his grave, and are even now arrayed against us. The Draculas were,says Arminius, a great and noble race, though now and again were scionswho were held by their coevals to have had dealings with the Evil One.They learned his secrets in the Scholomance, amongst the mountainsover Lake Hermanstadt, where the devil claims the tenth scholar as hisdue. In the records are such words as 'stregoica'--witch, 'ordog,' and'pokol'--Satan and hell; and in one manuscript this very Dracula isspoken of as 'wampyr,' which we all understand too well. There have beenfrom the loins of this very one great men and good women, and theirgraves make sacred the earth where alone this foulness can dwell. For itis not the least of its terrors that this evil thing is rooted deep inall good; in soil barren of holy memories it cannot rest."
Whilst they were talking Mr. Morris was looking steadily at the window,and he now got up quietly, and went out of the room. There was a littlepause, and then the Professor went on:--
"And now we must settle what we do. We have here much data, and we mustproceed to lay out our campaign. We know from the inquiry of Jonathanthat from the castle to Whitby came fifty boxes of earth, all of whichwere delivered at Carfax; we also know that at least some of theseboxes have been removed. It seems to me, that our first step should beto ascertain whether all the rest remain in the house beyond that wallwhere we look to-day; or whether any more have been removed. If thelatter, we must trace----"
Here we were interrupted in a very startling way. Outside the house camethe sound of a pistol-shot; the glass of the window was shattered witha bullet, which, ricocheting from the top of the embrasure, struck thefar wall of the room. I am afraid I am at heart a coward, for I shriekedout. The men all jumped to their feet; Lord Godalming flew over to thewindow and threw up the sash. As he did so we heard Mr. Morris's voicewithout:--
"Sorry! I fear I have alarmed you. I shall come in and tell you aboutit." A minute later he came in and said:--
"It was an idiotic thing of me to do, and I ask your pardon, Mrs.Harker, most sincerely; I fear I must have frightened you terribly.But the fact is that while the Professor was talking there came a bigbat and sat on the window-sill. I have got such a horror of the damnedbrutes from recent events that I cannot stand them, and I went out tohave a shot, as I have been doing of late of evenings whenever I haveseen one. You used to laugh at me for it then, Art."
"Did you hit it?" asked Dr. Van Helsing.
"I don't know; I fancy not, for it flew away into the wood." Withoutsaying any more he took his seat, and the Professor began to resume hisstatement:--
"We must trace each of these boxes; and when we are ready, we musteither capture or kill this monster in his lair; or we must, so tospeak, sterilise the earth, so that no more he can seek safety in it.Thus in the end we may find him in his form of man between the hours ofnoon and sunset, and so engage with him when he is at his most weak.
"And now for you, Madam Mina, this night is the end until all be well.You are too precious to us to have such risk. When we part to-night,you no more must question. We shall tell you all in good time. We aremen, and are able to bear; but you must be our star and our hope, and weshall act all the more free that you are not in the danger, such as weare."
All the men, even Jonathan, seemed relieved; but it did not seem tome good that they should brave danger and, perhaps, lessen theirsafety--strength being the best safety--through care of me; but theirminds were made up, and, though it was a bitter pill for me to swallow,I could say nothing, save to accept their chivalrous care of me.
Mr. Morris resumed the discussion:--
"As there is no time to lose, I vote we have a look at his house rightnow. Time is everything with him; and swift action on our part may saveanother victim."
I own that my heart began to fail me when the time for action came soclose, but I did not say anything, for I had a greater fear that if Iappeared as a drag or a hindrance to their work, they might even leaveme out of their counsels altogether. They have now gone off to Carfax,with means to get into the house.
Manlike, they have told me to go to bed and sleep; as if a woman cansleep when those she loves are in danger! I shall lie down and pretendto sleep, lest Jonathan have added anxiety about me when he returns.
_Dr. Seward's Diary_
_1 October, 4 a.m._--Just as we were about to leave the house, an urgentmessage was brought to me from Renfield to know if I would see him atonce, as he had something of the utmost importance to say to me. I toldthe messenger to say that I would attend to his wishes in the morning; Iwas busy just at the moment. The attendant added:--
"He seems very importunate, sir. I have never seen him so eager. Idon't know but what, if you don't see him soon, he will have one of hisviolent fits." I knew the man would not have said this without somecause, so I said: "All right; I'll go now;" and I asked the others towait a few minutes for me, as I had to go and see my "patient."
"Take me with you, friend John," said the Professor. "His case in yourdiary interested me much, and it had bearing, too,
now and again on_our_ case. I should much like to see him, and especially when his mindis disturbed."
"May I come also?" asked Lord Godalming.
"Me too?" said Quincey Morris. I nodded, and we all went down thepassage together.
We found him in a state of considerable excitement, but far morerational in his speech and manner than I had ever seen him. There wasan unusual understanding of himself, which was unlike anything I hadever met with in a lunatic; and he took it for granted that his reasonswould prevail with others entirely sane. We all four went into the room,but none of the others at first said anything. His request was that Iwould at once release him from the asylum and send him home. This hebacked up with arguments regarding his complete recovery, and adducedhis own existing sanity. "I appeal to your friends," he said; "theywill, perhaps, not mind sitting in judgment on my case. By the way, youhave not introduced me." I was so much astonished, that the oddnessof introducing a madman in an asylum did not strike me at the moment;and, besides, there was a certain dignity in the man's manner, so muchof the habit of equality, that I at once made the introduction: "LordGodalming; Professor Van Helsing; Mr. Quincey Morris, of Texas; Mr.Renfield." He shook hands with each of them, saying in turn:--
"Lord Godalming, I had the honour of seconding your father at theWindham; I grieve to know, by your holding the title, that he is nomore. He was a man loved and honoured by all who knew him; and inhis youth was, I have heard, the inventor of a burnt rum punch, muchpatronised on Derby night. Mr. Morris, you should be proud of your greatstate. Its reception into the Union was a precedent which may havefar-reaching effects hereafter, when the Pole and the Tropics may holdallegiance to the Stars and Stripes. The power of Treaty may yet provea vast engine of enlargement, when the Monroe doctrine takes its trueplace as a political fable. What shall any man say of his pleasure atmeeting Van Helsing? Sir, I make no apology for dropping all forms ofconventional prefix. When an individual has revolutionised therapeuticsby his discovery of the continuous evolution of brain-matter,conventional forms are unfitting, since they would seem to limit himto one of a class. You gentlemen, who by nationality, by heredity, orby the possession of natural gifts, are fitted to hold your respectiveplaces in the moving world, I take to witness that I am as sane as atleast the majority of men who are in full possession of their liberties.And I am sure that you, Dr. Seward, humanitarian and medico-jurist aswell as scientist, will deem it a moral duty to deal with me as one tobe considered as under exceptional circumstances." He made this lastappeal with a courtly air of conviction which was not without its owncharm.
I think we were all staggered. For my own part, I was under theconviction, despite my knowledge of the man's character and history,that his reason had been restored; and I felt under a strong impulseto tell him that I was satisfied as to his sanity, and would see aboutthe necessary formalities for his release in the morning. I thought itbetter to wait, however, before making so grave a statement, for of oldI knew the sudden changes to which this particular patient was liable.So I contented myself with making a general statement that he appearedto be improving very rapidly; that I would have a longer chat with himin the morning, and would then see what I could do in the directionof meeting his wishes. This did not at all satisfy him, for he saidquickly:--
"But I fear, Dr. Seward, that you hardly apprehend my wish. I desireto go at once--here--now--this very hour--this very moment, if I may.Time presses, and in our implied agreement with the old scytheman itis of the essence of the contract. I am sure it is only necessary toput before so admirable a practitioner as Dr. Seward so simple, yet somomentous a wish, to ensure its fulfilment." He looked at me keenly, andseeing the negative in my face, turned to the others, and scrutinisedthem closely. Not meeting any sufficient response, he went on:--
"Is it possible that I have erred in my supposition?"
"You have," I said frankly, but at the same time, as I felt, brutally.There was a considerable pause, and then he said slowly:--
"Then I suppose I must only shift my ground of request. Let me askfor this concession--boon, privilege, what you will. I am content toimplore in such a case, not on personal grounds, but for the sake ofothers. I am not at liberty to give you the whole of my reasons; butyou may, I assure you, take it from me that they are good ones, soundand unselfish, and springing from the highest sense of duty. Could youlook, sir, into my heart, you would approve to the full the sentimentswhich animate me. Nay, more, you would count me amongst the best andtruest of your friends." Again he looked at us all keenly. I had agrowing conviction that this sudden change of his entire intellectualmethod was but yet another form or phase of his madness, and sodetermined to let him go on a little longer, knowing from experiencethat he would, like all lunatics, give himself away in the end. VanHelsing was gazing at him with a look of the utmost intensity, his bushyeyebrows almost meeting with the fixed concentration of his look. Hesaid to Renfield in a tone which did not surprise me at the time, butonly when I thought of it afterwards--for it was as of one addressing anequal:--
"Can you not tell frankly your real reason for wishing to be freeto-night? I will undertake that if you will satisfy even me--a stranger,without prejudice, and with the habit of keeping an open mind--Dr.Seward will give you, at his own risk and on his own responsibility,the privilege you seek." He shook his head sadly, and with a look ofpoignant regret on his face. The Professor went on:--
"Come sir, bethink yourself. You claim the privilege of reason inthe highest degree, since you seek to impress us with your completereasonableness. You do this, whose sanity we have reason to doubt, sinceyou are not yet released from medical treatment for this very defect. Ifyou will not help us in our effort to choose the wisest course, how canwe perform the duty which you yourself put upon us? Be wise, and helpus; and if we can we shall aid you to achieve your wish." He still shookhis head as he said:--
"Dr. Van Helsing, I have nothing to say. Your argument is complete, andif I were free to speak I should not hesitate a moment; but I am notmy own master in the matter. I can only ask you to trust me. If I amrefused, the responsibility does not rest with me." I thought it was nowtime to end the scene, which was becoming too comically grave, so I wenttowards the door, simply saying:--
"Come, my friends, we have work to do. Good-night."
As, however, I got near the door, a new change came over the patient.He moved towards me so quickly that for the moment I feared that hewas about to make another homicidal attack. My fears, however, weregroundless, for he held up his two hands imploringly, and made hispetition in a moving manner. As he saw that the very excess of hisemotion was militating against him, by restoring us more to our oldrelations, he became still more demonstrative. I glanced at Van Helsing,and saw my conviction reflected in his eyes; so I became a little morefixed in my manner, if not more stern, and motioned to him that hisefforts were unavailing. I had previously seen something of the sameconstantly growing excitement in him when he had to make some requestof which at the time he had thought much, such, for instance, as whenhe wanted a cat; and I was prepared to see the collapse into the samesullen acquiescence on this occasion. My expectation was not realised,for, when he found that his appeal would not be successful, he got intoquite a frantic condition. He threw himself on his knees, and held uphis hands, wringing them in plaintive supplication, and poured fortha torrent of entreaty, with the tears rolling down his cheeks and hiswhole face and form expressive of the deepest emotion:--
"Let me entreat you, Dr. Seward, oh, let me implore you, to let meout of this house at once. Send me away how you will and where youwill; send keepers with me with whips and chains; let them take me ina strait-waistcoat, manacled and leg-ironed, even to a gaol; but letme go out of this. You don't know what you do by keeping me here. I amspeaking from the depths of my heart--of my very soul. You don't knowwhom you wrong, or how; and I may not tell. Woe is me! I may not tell.By all you hold sacred--by all you hold dear--by your love that islost--by your hope that lives--for the s
ake of the Almighty, take meout of this and save my soul from guilt! Can't you hear me, man? Can'tyou understand? Will you never learn? Don't you know that I am sane andearnest now; that I am no lunatic in a mad fit, but a sane man fightingfor his soul? Oh, hear me! hear me! Let me go! let me go! let me go!"
I thought that the longer this went on the wilder he would get, and sowould bring on a fit; so I took him by the hand and raised him up.
"Come," I said sternly, "no more of this; we have had quite enoughalready. Get to your bed and try to behave more discreetly."
He suddenly stopped and looked at me intently for several moments.Then without a word he rose, and moving over, sat down on the side ofthe bed. The collapse had come, as on former occasions, just as I hadexpected.
When I was leaving the room, last of our party, he said to me in aquiet, well-bred voice:--
"You will, I trust, Dr. Seward, do me the justice to bear in mind, lateron, that I did what I could to convince you tonight."