by LJ Amodeo
“Dr. Bates, this is my best friend, Freddie Albrizio.” I stated proudly. I was becoming a natural at false charades. The two men shook hands and immediately, Seth excused himself. I watched the doctor walk out of the room as I let out a sigh of relief.
“Bethy, what the heck is going on?” Freddie muttered.
“I’m not sure, but I have to convince Seth that I am well enough to go home.” I murmured back.
“Are you? . . . Feeling well enough?” Freddie stuttered.
“Of course I am! I’m not sure what his agenda is, but it’s not good. He’s looking for something, Freddie,” I confessed about my mother’s boyfriend.
Freddie’s eyes suddenly saddened. “Bethy, I am so sorry I left you with no explanation. I was being a jerk. I didn’t want hurt you, there was something I needed to do.” His eyes looked up to the ceiling, as he fought back tears.
“I feel like this is partially my fault. Maybe, if I’d stayed, you wouldn’t have been hurt. I should have stayed and protected you, not left you alone.” His overwhelming guilt showed on his face.
“This is not your fault, Freddie. There was no way you could have helped me or stopped it. It’s. . .it is something beyond your control. I can’t explain it, but one day, I will and I hope that when I tell you, you’ll believe me.” I whispered lowering my voice so that it wasn’t heard by the others in the room. Freddie stroked my cheek, instantly my eyes fluttered at his touch.
“Freddie, Seth has been saying that I tried to hurt myself and my mom, and that is the reason why I ended up here, at Letchworth. He’s convinced my mom and case worker that I’m a danger to myself and others. So I’m on constant watch. It’s a lie.” I assured him.
“Bethy, I know you would never do anything to hurt yourself or your mom. Trust me, I know the truth.” He bolstered. “Now tell me, how can I help you?”
“Freddie, do you remember after our graduation we went to a lake?” Freddie nodded.
“Do you remember the guy I met there, the one with the dog?”
He curiously arched one brow and wearily nodded yes, “Michael,” he murmured peering around the room.
“Yes! Yes!” I screeched, borderline hysterical.
Freddie pinched his eyes shut as if chasing away a headache, “Yes, I remember. What about him?” He narrowed his gray eyes as he leaned his body closer to me eager to hear my story.
“I’m going home for the holidays and need to speak to him, urgently. If you see him, please tell him to come find me.”
“I will. I will tell him,” he said, almost in a somber whisper.
“Beth . . .” he nodded his head and rested it in the bend of his elbow.
“Freddie? What’s the matter?” I asked, as I began worrying. I stroked his hair.
Freddie lifted his head, his eyes were suspicious as he whispered to me, “Bethy, we will get you out of here, but while you’re here, try not to talk in your sleep about Michael, the voices, or the key.”
“I don’t! You have to believe me!” I began violently shaking. He seized my arms, halting my loud rumpus.
“Beth, quiet! We don't want to cause any suspicion with your mom's doctor friend. The medication he has you taking is known to cause hallucinations. He purposely keeps you medicated to get any information he could from you when you talk in your sleep. I didn't trust that guy from the start, but your mom . . .” He murmured halting in mid-sentence. Freddie’s stare stayed fixed toward the exit doors as he spoke to me, almost vigilantly. " Just go along with me, alright!" he demanded through gritted teeth.
He began speaking unusually loud, above the ruckus of the other patients, drawing some unnecessary attention to us. “I knew you were getting better, Bethy! Your mom told me how well you are doing. She thought it would be a good idea for me to come here, maybe help you to remember things. You are making awesome progress and we are so excited to be bringing you home for the holidays. Just like ole’ times, Bethy.” He winked at me.
He spoke garishly as he walked toward Seth’s office. Freddie peered into the doctor’s office. Seth was occupied on the telephone. He returned quickly to sit very close to me, softly muttering incomprehensible words in my ears. “Bethy, we have to get you out of this place. I beg you, whatever you say, do not say anything to anyone. But, he can’t come for you. I will be the one waiting for you, when it’s time. I promise you.” He kissed my head, leaving me there with nothing more than a broken heart and wounds that time would never heal.
~
We walked into the wintery bliss of December flurries, glad to be going home at last. Mom held my hand as we walked toward her car. Her face as beautiful and serene as I had always remembered it. She looked happy again.
Although, I smiled and seemed cheerful on the outside, my desire to live burned slowly like the vanishing flame of a dying candle. In one year’s time, I had known, loved, and lost so many in my life. I felt I had nothing to gain, not much to lose. Perhaps, now was the time to reflect on how my life should end.
We pulled away from the building, slowly advancing toward an old, faded sign that readExiting Letchworth. We turned right onto Route 36. Mom smiled at me, I smiled back hoping she didn’t notice the black cloud hovering over my head and crippling my heart. Knowing what I knew about my destiny left me no choice. I had made up my mind.
Holding Mom’s hand, now a thin layer of delicate skin coating her fragile bones, I gave it a fervent squeeze, wanting, hoping to hold on to her for as long as possible.
The isolated road shimmered with patches of black ice. On a curve in the road, the dramatic views of the lake below reflected the shadows of the arid hills beyond it. Nervously, Mom gripped the wheel, turning her knuckles a pasty white. Her face no longer serene, but terrorized and unsettled. I tugged tightly at my seatbelt, making sure it was secure, as she drove. “Mom, is there something wrong?” I asked nervously.
“Beth, my dear sweet child, I am so sorry to have to do this.”
“Do what? What do you mean, Mom?”
“I know what’s going on. I have known since you were a little girl. I never told you about the letters. I needed to keep you safe. Your father explained everything to me before he left. I was so scared for us. I didn’t know what to do.” The tumult caused her to speak irrationally. She was frightening me. This petite, kind woman was frenzied beyond conviction. I couldn’t tell her that my father had explained it all to me. Where would I start ?Hey Mom I saw Dad not toolong ago–it would only confirm the creepy doctor’s diagnosis. I would never give him the satisfaction. So there was only one thing I could do. Lie.
“You knew? Mom, how could you have kept this from me all this time!” I cried as forced tears from my eyes..
“The letters started coming. Explaining that you, my daughter was Satan’s chosen one. I’d listen to you speaking in the middle of the night. The screams, the tears. I didn’t want to believe it. But as you grew older, you’d ramble on about things and events that seemed absolutely absurd to me. Even though your father had explained it, I couldn’t handle your stories and strange behavior. I wanted to help you. But, when the doctors confirmed that you showed signs of personality disorder, I. . .I didn’t know what to think. This truth about you was very difficult to understand. I didn’t have anyone to turn to so I asked Seth to help me. Especially, after you were hurt. You’d leave the house in the middle of the night for hours, Beth. What was I supposed to do, wait for a phone call from the police telling me you were raped or killed.” she raged as she drove on the dangerously twisting roadway.
“I thought I was helping you, Beth! Seth insisted I institutionalize you, so you could be under his constant watch. I did what he asked. I thought I was doing the right thing for you, but then I began to notice how he kept increasing your medication. Keeping you sedated that you enough to push you for information. He’d ask you very detailed questions about things that only I could have known from your father’s letters. At first, I thought I may have forgotten to destroy one of those lette
rs, but when I heard you describe Sam’s house, the description of her mansion, the details, I panicked. I knew there was truth to your outburst or nightmares. Beth, you described, down to the red walls, Seth’s house. I knew then, we were in danger, that they had found us! I had to protect you and I. . .I tried, but by the time I realized what I had done, how I put you in the hands of a sadistic man, it was too late! I had to figure out how to get you out of there. That man repulses me. I pretended to like him enough to convince him to let me take you home for Christmas. To get you out of there. I don’t know what he’s after, but I will not let him have you!” She cried pouncing her fists on the steering wheel.
“Mom! What do we do? Can’t we go to the police or contact someone from the society? Can’t they help us? There has to be something the Trinity can do to stop him or fix this!”
“The Trinity never had to come this far to protect a descendant. There is nothing written in their books to compare this to. It had always been handled secretively before matters got out of hand. You are the first that has been searched for and found. I am so sorry, Elizabeth. It’s all my fault that I couldn’t protect you better!” She cried.
She looked at me with a sickening emptiness in her eyes “I will not give Seth, Luca, or Mastema the chance to hurt you. I will die before I hand you over as their chosen one. You will not be left in their mercy so that they can destroy all that is good.
“Who the hell is Mastema, Mom?! Talk to me! Please!” I screamed at her.
“I have no choice. I am so sorry I must do this. Please forgive me and pray that God will too.”
In desperation, she accelerated her speed, steering the twisting vehicle through patches of slick, icy road on Route 36. The vehicle suddenly spun out of control aiming carelessly for the edge of the cliff, as the tires screeched and burned violently against the frozen tar. Visions of my life swirled through my head like an old movie reel; frame by frame, capturing all the events of my twisted life, slowly revealing the reasons of why I existed. The reason I’d come to be known as theChosen One. Although, I should have feared this moment as the end of my time on earth, I was not afraid. I felt peace.
As the station wagon veered toward the cliff’s edge, Mom let go of the wheel. At first, she sat motionless holding my hand as we started our descent off the icy cliff. Every image I gazed upon—the frozen lake, the bare hills, her terrified face—moved slowly, allowing me to ingest every detail of my final moments. In her last desperate attempt to save me, Mom unfastened her seatbelt and covered my trembling body with hers, begging God to save our souls. I watched in horror, as the dark waters below crashed violently against the boulders. The terror of our fast approaching doom advanced toward us at immeasurable speeds. But below, in the splendor of a glorious angel, Freddie stood waiting, as promised, watching, as our car careened into the icy lake.
In the past year, I’d come to terms with the idea of dying. I imagined it would be tragic—a hit and run, murder, or burning in the flames of Hell. I never thought it would be at the mercy of my own mother’s hands. But for me, it would not end tragically, for my angel, my friend . . . my Freddie, would pull me out from the icy waters of Ontario Lake before death could fall upon my lips.
In an abrupt motion, Freddie seized my arms, forcefully pulling me out of the submerged vehicle. With swift strokes he swam us to the foot of the cliff, where massive boulders shattered the breaks of the violent waves. He placed my shivering body on the rocks and swam back for my mother. Upon his return, he gently placed my mother’s limp body on the stone and ran back to me, putting his arms around me before hyperthermia set in. Although, he had just jumped into the icy lake to save me, his body radiated with heat. He rubbed his hands briskly up and
down my arms and back, as the numbness and stiffness of my wet clothing began to thaw out over my limbs.
Freddie was careful not to look into my eyes. He instead, focused on my mother who was motionless behind me. Afraid to turn around, I knew she lay there lifeless. It was impossible to speak, for my teeth chattered uncontrollably. A combination of panic and frostbite fought a battle against each other inside my body.
With little improvement I whispered through quivering lips “Frrr. . .Thhh. . .”
“You’re welcome Beth.” He understood.
With a small nod from my frozen face he knew I was eternally grateful. Freddie effortlessly lifted my shivering body and carried me up the cliff. But as the haze in my eyes began to lift, I glanced back at the sight of my mother’s petite body slumped on the jagged boulder, I prayed that Michael would save her as Freddie had saved me. But before I could look away, a fierce wave crashed over her corpse ultimately swallowing her up into its dark, unforgiving depths.
“Mmmmmom … nnoooooo” I wailed through my clenched teeth, Freddie rushed me into his car that quietly hummed on the side of the road. Inside the car, I convulsed from the severity of my body temperature. My head bursting while my hands gripped the attacking pain that exploded in my abdomen. Drenched and freezing, I looked down at my wet shirt that pressed against what used to be my flat stomach. In horror, I gripped my belly.
“No, this can’t be true. Not me!”