by K. L. Myers
Her mother’s hand stroked the back of her head, letting her know that she was not alone—that her mother was there for her in her time of need. “Don’t cry, baby girl “Things will work themselves out one day. And if they don’t, then it wasn’t meant to be.”
Like the good mother she was, she patted her back a few more times. “Besides, my intuition tells me nothing will happen tonight with Jessica.”
Paisley quickly pulled out of her mother’s arms like she’d been burned and gazed into her eyes. How did her mother know about Jessica? Her mother was wise and quickly read her daughter’s facial expression. “I overheard the conversation you all were having.”
Paisley’s shoulders lifted and fell in a shrugging motion a tell-tale sign that she’d heard her mother. But the ache in her heart was too strong so she turned and ran toward her bedroom before anyone could see her cry again.
She’d barely made it out of the room before she heard her mom’s final words. “Mother’s intuition,” she called out to Paisley’s retreating back. “Trust me, Paisley.”
Paisley looked out the window from her bedroom, right across to the house next door. From it, she had a clear view of Braxton’s bedroom. Her desk was situated under that window, allowing her the liberty of watching him dress and undress every chance she got. She had become obsessed with observing him. Not in a stalkerish way. Or so she tried to convince herself every time she sat and stared at him. But who was she kidding? It was exactly like that, which was why she was sitting there in the dark focused on his bedroom window, waiting for the light to turn on.
She’d almost given up hope of seeing him tonight, but just after eleven, the lamp on his dresser clicked on and there he was. He stepped out of his jeans and pulled his T-shirt over his head. Within a few moments, he turned off his light. The moonlight was bright enough tonight that it gave her just enough light to still see his shadow move around in his room before he tossed himself onto his bed. Yeah, not a stalker at all.
It wasn’t long before Paisley’s phone chirped with an incoming text.
BRAXTON: I saw you in your window
PAISLEY: Yeah, I was watching the moon. It’s so full tonight, and so bright.
She hoped that he fell for her white lie. Braxton’s silhouette stood at the window, his face looking up to the sky, stealing a glance at the moon.
BRAXTON: It’s pretty amazing.
PAISLEY: Did you have fun tonight?
Deep down, she didn’t want the truth, but still, she had to ask. Even if it would shatter her heart. Everything inside of Paisley was dreading finding out if he and Jessica had gotten up close and personal. As much as she was certain it would hurt to find out, she also knew that if she didn’t, her imagination would create a bigger void in her heart—one she couldn’t allow to happen.
BRAXTON: I guess.
PAISLEY: You guess? How do you not know if you had fun or not?
BRAXTON: I don’t know, Paisley. Paxton is always bugging me about losing my virginity. I’m just not ready right now, you know?
PAISLEY: So, you and Jessica didn’t do anything?
Could it be? Her heart was speeding up in anticipation of his answer. Please say no. Say nothing happened.
BRAXTON: I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this.
PAISLEY: Tell me what?
She eagerly awaited his response
BRAXTON: I let her give me a blow job. I didn’t enjoy it at all. It felt all wrong. Does that make me sound like a goober?
Paisley’s eyes misted over, and tears threatened to fall from them. He did it. He’d let that skank suck his dick. How was it that her heart was breaking, but she was still so in love with him?
PAISLEY: Oh! That’s too bad, Brax. Maybe next time you’ll enjoy it more.
BRAXTON: Paisley?
One word came across the screen but the dots continued to jump. Then they stopped, jumped again, then nothing.
PAISLEY: You still there? Did you want to say something?
In her head, she played it all out. His text was going to tell her that there wouldn’t be a next time because he would be waiting for her. She was the one he wanted. The dots began to jump once more.
BRAXTON: Never mind. I just wanted to say that I’m so glad I can tell you things and you won’t judge me. Aside from Paxton, you’re my next best friend.
PAISLEY: Night, Brax.
She couldn’t bring herself to say anything other than that. She didn’t want to be his best friend; she wanted to be his girlfriend. Braxton moved in front of the window and waved to her, then stepped away and out of her view.
Chapter 2
High School, Senior Year
A slew of college acceptance letters laid spread out on the kitchen table. Paxton and Paisley argued over where each of them wanted to go, neither of them wanting to attend the same college as the other. It was weird enough that they’d both chosen law as their majors, but attending the same classes wasn’t something either of them wanted to do.
“Stanford is ten times better than UCLA.” Paxton’s face glowed, his eyes sparkling, and his smile huge as he spoke.
Paisley’s nose wrinkled, her lips pressed together as she looked at her brother. “That’s your opinion.”
Paxton laughed at her. “It is not my opinion. If you look at stats, Stanford’s median GPA is 3.89 versus UCLA’s 3.74. The acceptance rate for Stanford is 12 percent, whereas UCLA is 30 percent, and the average LSAT is five points higher at Stanford.” Paxton raised his hand in the air. Brax leaned in and smacked his hand in the ultimate male high-five gesture.
“Well, more students apply to UCLA than Stanford, and the weather is much nicer in Southern California than it is in Northern California.”
Paxton looked over at Braxton. “She’s such an idiot sometimes. Aren’t you glad you’re not going to have to put up with her much longer? At least we’ll still be close enough to hang out on the weekends. Berkeley is only an hour away from Stanford.
Paisley’s face turned white as if all the blood had drained from her body. She’d assumed Braxton would stay close to home just as she was. Now, it looked like she would be the only person left in Southern California. She’d be all alone. “Wait. What? Berkeley? I didn’t know you were going to Berkeley, Brax. When did you decide that?”
Braxton shrugged his shoulders “Yesterday. I want to get as far away as possible from my parents. Mom’s already said if I stay close to home, she’ll visit every weekend. I don’t need my mommy coming to campus to visit me.”
Paxton punched Braxton in the arm. “Nothing kills a man’s sex life faster than his mommy.”
Paisley feverishly started digging around on the table, leafing through all the acceptance letters she’d received. Dartmouth, Columbia, Duke, Northwestern, Cornell, and a slew of others.
Glancing at all of her letters, each with a sticky note listing the tuition costs, acceptance rates, and living expense costs, her heart beat faster. Those sticky notes didn’t mean a thing to her when all she’d been hoping for was to find an acceptance letter to Berkeley. She was praying for the only option that would keep her close to Braxton.
Her heart pounded harder in her chest, a light sweat forming under her hairline at the back of her neck. She said another prayer to the man above. But as she got closer to the last letters, she began to panic. Just when she believed no one was looking out for her, she found her acceptance letter to Berkeley. She didn’t remember receiving it, but she guessed presumably that was what happened when you received eight letters: you tended to forget who’d offered you what.
She clutched the letter to her chest, ready to rejoice until her inner self spoke to her.
You would think you’d had enough rejection from Braxton to last your whole life. Are you sure you want to do this to yourself? You’ll have no one there for you when he rejects you again.
She contemplated the thought, but her heart wanted what it wanted. And Braxton would always take precedence over her own happiness.
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Raising her acceptance letter in the air, Paisley joyfully exclaimed, “I could do Berkeley too. The tuition costs are a little higher than UCLA, but the living costs are slightly lower so it would even itself out.” She tried to justify out loud the reason why she would change her mind and select Berkeley after making the decision to attend UCLA. “Then we would all be together again.”
“Christ, Paisley.” Paxton shook his head at his sister. “You can’t change your mind and go to Berkeley.” He glared at Braxton, silently begging for support. “Right, Brax? She can’t just change her mind like that.”
Braxton shrugged one shoulder and looked between the siblings, then smiled. “I guess she can do whatever she wants. She’s got a mind of her own.”
Paxton’s fist flew through the air and landed right square in the middle of Braxton’s shoulder. “Dude, you realize what you’re saying? She’ll be at the same school you are. You’ll never get away from her then. She’ll be pestering you all the time. You thought your mom would kill your sex life. Bro, what do you think my sister will do for it?”
Paisley didn’t wait to hear Braxton’s response. She’d fall apart if he changed his mind and declared he’d made a mistake and it would be better if she didn’t go. Acceptance letter in hand, she ran out of the room, toward the living area. “Mom, Dad,” she called out as she crossed the tile floor. “I’ve changed my mind. I want to go to Berkeley.”
Her dad pointed the remote toward the television, muting the sound. “Did you say Berkeley?”
“Yes, I want to go to Berkeley. It’s only an hour from Paxton and this way, when you visit, you can see us both at the same time. You won’t have to pick which one of us you want to see each month.”
Her parents looked at each other, a silent conversation going on between the two of them. Her father set the remote on the coffee table, then turned on the sofa, placing one leg on the cushion as he faced his overly excited daughter. “Berkeley?” He scratched the day-old scruff on his chin. “Isn’t Braxton going to Berkeley?” He looked at his wife briefly, the comment more of a statement than a question.
Paisley’s mother’s eyes met her daughter’s. She hoped her mom could tell she was pleading for her to come to her defense.
“Yes, I do believe you are right, honey. Braxton is going to Berkeley. Won’t it be nice to know that there’s someone there to watch out for our little girl?”
Paisley’s rigid posture relaxed, and she breathed out a sigh of relief. How lucky she was that her Mom always had her back.
She never had to keep how she felt about Braxton a secret—her mother had always been her biggest champion when it came to the boy next door. Paisley wondered if that was why she’d clung to the notion that the two of them would one day be a couple. If Mom said it was going to happen, it was, because moms were always right.
Chapter 3
College Sophomore Year
It was crowded at the Triple Rock. Paisley spotted one open table on the patio. She reached for Alissa’s hand and pulled her through the crowd, hoping to snag it before someone else did.
Alissa was one of her classmates. She’d transferred from Columbia to Berkeley last year, mid-third semester. Her family had moved from New York to California to take care of her grandmother.
It wasn’t long after they’d moved, and she didn’t want to be alone in New York City. Paisley and she didn’t immediately hit it off, but over time they found that they had something in common. Both of them loved watching The Blacklist. Thursday nights, Alissa would head to Paisley’s, they’d turn their phones off so they wouldn’t get interrupted, and they would binge on junk food for an hour while they tuned out the world and watched the show.
Alissa’s Irish heritage graced her with fire engine red hair and green eyes the color of emeralds. Every male in class drooled whenever she was around. The little boys in their pants wanted to come out and play, but Alissa had no interest in their games.
Braxton walked into The Rock with a couple of his friends. Paisley spotted him the minute he bellied up to the bar. With a beer in his hand and his back pressed against the aged wood, he spoke animatedly with his buddies. Paisley was instantly obsessed, completely engrossed in every movement he made.
“Earth to Paisley.” Alissa snapped her fingers in front of her friend’s face. “Did you even hear what I said?”
When Paisley didn’t immediately answer her, she turned her head to look over her shoulder and follow her friend’s line of sight. “Wow, now I see what has you so disinterested in our conversation. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone as handsome as him in here before.”
“Wh–what?” Paisley’s eyes connected with her friend’s as she pointed her thumb over her shoulder.
“The group of guys over there. They’re hot as hell.”
Paisley swallowed hard. She knew in her gut that Alissa didn’t mean all of the guys. No, she meant Braxton. “Um, yeah they are,” she agreed, trying not to bring attention to Braxton but it was no use. It wasn’t the threesome of handsome hotties Alissa was looking at. No, it was definitely Braxton that had caught her attention.
Just like the old saying went, if it weren’t for bad luck, Paisley would have no luck at all. And just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse, Braxton decided to look toward the patio and spotted her and Alissa. His smile stretched from ear to ear, showing off his pearly whites. Paisley’s heart melted even though he could have been smiling at her friend. Braxton excused himself from his friends and walked toward them, only stopping when he reached their table.
“Hey, Paisley.” He smiled at her, but his eyes were on Alissa.
Paisley’s voice was defeated when she acknowledged his presence. He wasn’t there to mingle with her. There was heat in Braxton’s eyes, but he wasn’t burning for her. All that fire was for Alissa.
Without even looking Paisley’s way, Braxton spoke, his voice low and gravelly. “Who’s the newbie?”
Sheer emotion took over Paisley. Would it be rude not to introduce them? She wanted Braxton to be hers and only hers. Introducing him meant that she would have to share his friendship with her friend. “Oh, yeah, this is Alissa, but she’s not new. She’s in my law and economics class and last year we had Introduction to American Politics together.”
Braxton pulled out the chair closest to Alissa and sat. “So, you planning on entertainment law like my girl Paisley here?”
Paisley’s heart warmed at him calling her his girl. It was just a simple gesture that meant nothing more than them being friends, but she could always hope that there was an underlying meaning to it.
Alissa twirled a lock of her hair, her eyes dreamily staring into Braxton’s. “Well, I kind of thought about it. I’m not sure if I want to focus on the music side or the film side. I just know that I want to work in the entertainment industry.”
Braxton turned slightly in his chair, giving Alissa his full attention. “Sounds interesting. You from here?”
What a royal jerk. Since when did he start thinking majoring in law sounded interesting, let alone entertainment law? She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. Not once in all the years she’d talked about wanting to do to law school had the topic ever piqued his interest.
Alissa giggled, flipping her long red hair over her shoulder. “I’m actually from New York. I transferred out here lat last year when my parents moved to Oakland to take care of my grams. I really wanted to go to UCLA since you’re almost guaranteed to get a great job after graduation.”
“Really?” Brax asked, his head to the side. “Why is that?”
Alissa tapped one finger to her chin, considering. “I guess it’s like a social club, you know?” She paused to take a drink. “Companies want to hire attorneys from their own area.”
“Sounds crazy” Brax shrugged.
“Right? Like, what does it matter which school you graduate from if your grades are good.”
“Exactly” Braxton winked and Alissa’s smile grew brighter.
“Wow.” Braxton’s perfect teeth were on full display. “That’s where Paisley was going to go, but she changed to Berkeley.”
Alissa looked at her friend like she had two heads. “You got accepted into UCLA and you didn’t take it? Why? Your chances at landing an amazing job after graduation there are so much better than here.”
Paisley contemplated her answer, and all she could think of was the reasons Paxton had given her. “Well, the average GPA here is much higher, as well as the acceptance rate. And when you look at the costs of tuition versus living expenses, Berkeley was the better choice.”
The evening got worse. Braxton blew off his friends completely to spend the evening sitting at their table. Only, the majority of his attention was given to Alissa.
Paisley drank drink after drink until she couldn’t feel the pain any longer. With every libation that she tossed down, she tried to remember why coming to Berkeley had been a good idea. She could have stayed closer to home and not had her heart broken. Again. Why didn’t she ever learn?
“Last call,” the bartender yelled out to the waitresses on the patio. The words sounded like heaven to Paisley. After all, how much more could one person be ignored and still sit patiently waiting for the man of her dreams to look her way and engage her?
When the short, bubbly waitress stopped at their table, Paisley quickly spoke up. “I’ll close out my tab, please.” She then turned her attention to Braxton and Alissa.
“We’ll have another round. Also, why don’t you just put Paisley’s drinks on my tab.” Braxton pointed to his childhood friend.
“Sure thing, handsome.” The waitress smiled at Braxton, her eyes full of lust before she reached into her apron pocket for the bill. Braxton pulled out his credit card and handed it to her without even giving her the time of day