by K. L. Myers
“I love you too, sister.” Paxton scratched his temple with his middle finger.
Paisley gave her brother a forced smile, before turning her attention to Braxton. “Brax,” she started, “how about the three of us have dinner tonight? It’ll probably be the last time we’ll be able to enjoy dinner uninterrupted.”
Braxton tilted his head to the right slightly. “Uninterrupted?”
Paisley tossed the coffee twirler at him. “Yeah. With Emmersyn taking up all your time starting tomorrow, we won’t get to go out together that much.”
“Wait, who’s Emmersyn?” Paxton questioned.
Braxton’s eyes lit up at the mention of her name. “Emmersyn Ivey Michaels. That’s my little caterpillar’s name. Chose it today.”
Paxton leaned back in his chair, raising his arms over his head and then locking his hands behind his neck. “I like it. It’s an awesome name.” Paxton got a familiar look in his eye. “The guys are gonna love that name.” Watching his best friend’s face turn beet red, he laughed like he’d said the funniest thing on earth.
Braxton reached out and punched him hard in the shoulder, knocking Paxton off his chair. “Pax, shut up. That’s my daughter you’re talking about. I don’t even want to think about those days.”
Paisley rolled her eyes at her brother. “Ignore him, Brax. He’s an idiot.” She gave her brother a sideways glance before she turned back to face Braxton. “So, dinner. What do you say?”
Braxton stood and the chair scratched against the floor. “Yeah. Seven. Grimaldi’s. I’ll meet you there.”
“Hey, where you going, bro?” Paxton asked as he picked himself off the floor and took his seat.
“Back to the hospital to spend some time with someone who’s intelligence level is greater than a baboon.”
Paisley’s body shook uncontrollably, and the sweetest sound rolled from between her lips. “Bye, Brax. See you tonight.’
Chapter 17
Braxton dragged his feet as he strolled through the doors to the hospital. He was late and had missed the doctor’s morning rounds due to his hangover. The dinner with Pax and Paisley the night before had gotten out of hand.
They had celebrated Emmersyn and every tiny beautiful detail about her. It had taken the majority of the evening and left little time to discuss the company.
However, they couldn’t part ways for the evening until they had all agreed on which direction the business needed to go moving forward. By the time everything was ironed out, and they had mourned the loss of Alissa, they’d left several empty wine bottles and just as many highball glasses. They had been the last patrons to leave the restaurant.
Braxton stood at the entrance to the nursery, waiting for the morning nurse to scan the band around his wrist. He had seen her yesterday and wondered what the rules of the hospital were that allowed the petite blonde with bright pink highlights to work there. Surely the hospital’s policy didn’t encourage party-colored hair.
She hadn’t seemed happy yesterday. But today there was a bounce in her step and a smile that showed off her overly white teeth as she made her way toward the nursery door. “Good morning, Mr. Michaels.”
“Good morning.” He took a closer look at the ID that was clipped to the pocket on her scrubs. “Kelsie. How’s my little caterpillar today?”
Kelsie’s face lit up with joy at the mention of Emmersyn. “She’s been waiting for her daddy to arrive to take her home.” The scanner beeped and Kelsie glanced down, ensuring it had read the wrist band properly. “Can’t be too cautious.” She snickered. “We sure are gonna miss Emmy around here.”
Braxton had already pushed past and was on his way to Emmy’s bassinet when he stopped in his tracks. His heart raced as panic set in. It’s too soon. His hands grew clammy and he found it hard to catch his breath. He turned to face nurse Kelsie as he spoke. “Really? Like, right now? Go home? I thought it would be later today or even tomorrow before that would happen.”
Nurse Kelsie flipped her hair over her right shoulder as she bent to change the diaper on the baby in front of her. “Yes. Doc left just a few minutes ago. He gave her the all clear and said once you visit with the hospital’s social worker, you’re free to take your baby girl home.”
Braxton stared at the young nurse, his eyes void of emotion. He swallowed and he could feel his Adam’s apple bob. He was lost and didn’t understand why he had to see a social worker. Would she assess his abilities as a father and determine that he wasn’t suitable? After everything that had gone wrong, that would be another knife to his heart. He worried he wasn’t enough—he couldn’t handle hearing that someone of authority had also come to that conclusion. What would he do if they decided to take Emmy away?
She must have read the sheer fear reflected on his face. She stopped what she was doing for a brief moment to explain that the social worker would be going over what Emmersyn’s daily care should include and what he could expect.
Braxton expelled the deep breath he had been holding. Knowing that they weren’t sending him out on his own without guidance was comforting, since he was going to need all the help he could get.
Emmy was asleep in her bassinet. Reaching in, he picked her up and placed her against his chest, holding her tight. Braxton closed his eyes as he lowered his head and peppered her little forehead with several gentle kisses.
“We’re going home today, caterpillar. I hope I don’t let you down.”
Emmy slept next to the sofa in her new bassinet. Alissa had picked one that flipped up to rock like a cradle. The canopy was covered in white lace, and a free-flowing, pleated skirt accented the bottom. A purple ribbon that matched the piping on the canopy wrapped the skirt and had been tied in a bow at the front. Tiny whimpers emanated from within, causing Braxton to glance over and make sure everything was okay.
When he was confident that his little girl was fine, he glanced back at the paper in his hand. He’d been overwhelmed by the instructions the social worker had provided, forcing him to question if he was ready for this daunting task.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR INFANT CARE
Feed every two to three hours even if they are sleeping and in 2–4-ounce servings
Baby should be in a semi-sitting position when feeding
You can burp your baby either in a lying, sitting, or over-the-shoulder position
Your baby may sleep anywhere from twelve to twenty hours a day but don’t expect them to sleep through the night.
Let your baby sleep on its back
Rest when your baby rests
Never let your baby sleep more than five hours at a time
Bath your baby every two to three days
Gently wipe from front to back when changing diapers. For the first four weeks, avoid baby powder.
To avoid diaper rash, keep the diaper area clean and dry. In case of diaper rash, use the zinc oxide paste of your choice or petroleum jelly like A&D Ointment
Keep the baby’s umbilical cord dry and clean. It will fall off in about twelve to fourteen days
Wash bottles in hot soapy water and always check the nipples for cracking or tears.
Check your baby’s temperature via armpit for the first ninety days
The acceptable temperature range is 97.7 to 99.5. If your baby’s temperature exceeds the normal range, call your doctor
Christ, how am I going to remember all of this? This is worse than having to memorize the periodic table. He set the alarm on the phone for two and a half hour increments so he wouldn’t miss a feed.
When he felt confident he had everything under control, he decided he might as well sleep while his little one did. At least, that was what the paper had told him to do. Without wasting any time, he kicked off his shoes and stretched his body as much as was allowed on the sofa. Blowing out a big breath of air, Braxton forced himself to relax, allowing himself to sink into the sofa and close his eyes.
“Whaaaa. Whaaaa.”
Braxton had fallen asleep for a very short time and the sou
nd of Emmersyn crying had his body shooting straight off the sofa. Kneeling beside her bassinet, he reached in, brushing his finger along her face hoping this would calm her. Her high-pitched wails continued to fill the room and rip at his heart.
“Shhh, caterpillar. Daddy’s here.” He lifted her next to his body. “I’ve got you, little one.” Running a finger inside the leg of her diaper as the nurse had instructed, he checked to see if she had a wet diaper. Sure enough, it was soaked. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Daddy’s going to clean you up.”
Braxton carried his crying daughter toward her room. Once inside, he ran down the list of items he’d need—diaper, wipes, and ointment: check. Her cries grew louder as he removed the soiled diaper from her skin and wiped her little behind with a cold, wet wipe.
Feeling helpless, he tried to calm her with a few words he hoped she’d understand. “Shush, sweetie, I’m moving as fast as I can.”
“Whaaa. Whaaa.” Her howls got louder and louder, until she was hiccupping between each of her cries. Tears continued to roll down her tiny cheeks faster than before.
Braxton wasn’t sure what to do. He laid her in her crib while he contemplated what to do next. The list the nurse gave him, the one he had studied relentlessly was now a blank space in his mind. He couldn’t think and his already frazzled state was growing even more so with each whimper of distress from Emmy. “I’m sorry I suck at this.” Braxton peered down at his daughter, her cheeks pink from screeching. He had to comfort her somehow. Running his hand down his face, he shook off as much of the bad juju as he could. “Here goes nothing.”
He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince, himself or his baby girl. With a binkie in hand, he tried to tantalize her with the one thing she had always liked. But it was no use. Each time he placed it in her mouth, she spat it back out.
“Screw it,” he said in frustration, unsure of what to do next.
His shuffled from foot to foot as he did his best to swaddle Emmy the way he was shown at the hospital, and hoped that it would work. He raised her in the air before tucking her tight against him. He rocked and swayed from side to side, trying to soothe her with every step he took, but it wasn’t working either. Nothing was working, and he felt as if he wanted to run away and hide from everyone.
He knew it was his anxiety talking but he had no idea how to shut it up. Her little face was bright red and got redder with each shrieking yelp she made. He was sure she could sense his unease too, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the feeling. He began to grasp at anything he could think of to help soothe her. One by one, he wiggled stuffed animals in her face but nothing silenced her wails.
Music, that’s it.
“How about it, Emmy? Let’s see if this works.” Still holding her, he placed a CD in the music player on her dresser. As he turned out the lights, the sound of a beating heart filled the room. What the hell? He’d expected music to filter through the speakers, but a heartbeat softly thudded through the air. Emmy’s screeches lessened to yelps, and as time passed, he thought this might be the answer. Until he laid her in her crib and tried to walk away. Her wails slammed him in the back.
“Come on, caterpillar; it’s been an hour. I wish you could tell me what to do to make you feel better.”
Braxton couldn’t take it anymore. He’d tried everything, and nothing was working. Not the bottle, not the clean diaper. Not even swaddling her helped.
“Fuck!” he barked out he was the worst father ever. What was he going to do?
Chapter 18
Paisley’s phone began to vibrate on her desk beside her cup of coffee. BRAXTON flashed across the screen. Her thumb slid the bar right before she raised it to her ear. “Hey, Brax. What’s up?” Immediately, she heard Emmersyn screaming in the background, and the beat of her heart increased one hundred times faster. “What’s wrong with Emmersyn, Braxton?”
Braxton was out of breath when he spoke. “She won’t stop crying, Paisley.” There was clear frustration in his voice.
“Have you tried—”
“I’ve tried everything. I’ve changed her diaper, rocked her, given her a bottle, burped her and even turned out the lights. I put on that stupid heartbeat sound and nothing is working. I can’t do this, Paisley—I can’t.”
“Listen to me, Brax. You can do this, but you need to calm down because she can sense your frustration and she’s going to feed off that. You know the swing we bought you?”
“Yes.”
“Place Emmersyn in the swing and turn it on, and then put the phone on speaker and stand by her. And for Christ’s sake, calm the hell down please.”
Braxton tried to soothe his crying child as he situated her in the swing.
“You’re on speaker, Paisley. Now what?”
Maybe her idea wasn’t as ingenious as she’d thought it would be. All of a sudden, she began to feel stupid. She drew in a deep breath. What the hell. Time to get the show on the road. “Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Aunt Paisley’s gonna buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird don’t sing, Uncle Paxton’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.”
By the time she’d finished the whole song, the crying had stopped.
“Oh, my God, Paisley. You’re a miracle worker. She’s asleep,” Braxton whispered as he raised the phone to his ear.
Paisley sat a little straighter in her chair beaming with pride. Her idea wasn’t so stupid after all. “Glad to hear it, Brax.” A soft knock sounded on the door to her office, letting her know it was time for her meeting. “I gotta go now, but I’ll talk to you later.” And Brax…you got this.”
Paxton stood in her doorway. “Did you just sing a lullaby?” Paxton raised his left brow.
“Yes. Emmersyn wouldn’t stop crying, and Brax didn’t know what to do.”
“And you thought singing would solve his problems?”
“Well, it did.”
Paxton sauntered across the room before taking the seat in front of her desk. “Look at you; you’ve got a career as a baby whisperer if our business ever fails.”
She rolled her eyes and rested her forehead on her desk. “You can be such an ass sometimes.”
Paxton slumped slightly in the chair. “All joking aside, P, have you told him about the call yet?”
Paisley raised her head; her body stiffened as she stared directly at Paxton. “I haven’t had the heart. That’s why I wanted to meet with you, so we can figure out the best way to approach this.”
“There isn’t any way to approach this other than head on. You’ve got to tell him.” Paxton’s eyes met his sister’s, and there was sadness in them that mirrored his.
She was frustrated when she spoke. “Me? Why just me? We need to do this as a team, Paxton.”
Paxton sat up and slid to the front of his chair, pretending to hold a knife and push it straight into his heart. “Hey, buddy. Stand still while I stab you in the heart and rip it out so you’re prepared for what Paisley is going to tell you. That’s when you get to say Alissa’s family is having her body transported to New York to be buried. And, oh, by the way, they’re going to sue you for custody of Emmersyn because they don’t believe you’re fit to be a parent.”
Hearing it out loud, Paisley sunk in her chair. Her blonde hair flowed over the headrest as she laid her head back to look up at the ceiling. “Why do you have to be so melodramatic?”
Paxton stood, placing his hands in his pocket. “Did you find someone to represent our boy?”
With a smug look on her face, Paisley moved herself from her slumped position. Her shoulders were squared as she reached one hand over to pat herself on the back. “Of course.” She smiled like she’d won the ten-million-dollar lottery and spoke matter-of-factly. “Samuel Travis agreed to take the case.”
Paxton’s eyebrows lifted into his hairline. “The Samuel Travis? The one who represented Leonard Woods the golfer?”
“Yes, that Samuel Travis. He said, and I quote”—she made air quotes— “your firm represents some of my
clients, so I’m sure in the future I’ll be needing something from you.”
“Which translates to: I’m going to fuck one of your clients one day, and you’re going to be my ace in the hole.” Paxton shook his head as he exhaled.
“Right. So, dear brother, when are we going to tell him?”
Paxton walked toward the door before stopping. “I guess there’s no time like the present. I told him I’d call him later to check-in, so I’ll let him know we’re bringing dinner and we’ll be there by six.”
Chapter 19
Braxton bounced his little girl in his arms as he wore a path in the carpet from his incessant pacing. He’d hoped that the movement would settle her enough to end her crying. He glanced at his watch and with each passing minute, his nerves began to fray just a bit more.
“Come on, Emmy girl, stop crying. Tell Daddy what’s wrong, girl. It’s been half an hour and I’ve tried everything, but nothing is making you happy.”
His words fell on deaf ears—as if he’d honestly believed that Emmersyn would miraculously speak to him with the million-dollar answer to making her stop crying. He’d tried everything he could think of, including singing that stupid song that Paisley had sang to her before.
When nothing appeared to be working, he pulled his phone from his pocket. He was about dial Paisley’s number, but then he stopped. This is your problem, not hers.
Unsure of what to do and certain that he couldn’t take it any longer, he placed his screaming child in her swing. He made sure it had begun to rock her before he turned and exited her room.
When he was safely outside her door, he vocalized his frustration.
“FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!” he roared, before giving in to his insecurities. “I can’t take this; I’m not ready to be a single dad if this is what parenting is going to be like.” His fist connected with the wall, punching a hole in the plaster. He quickly regretted his actions, but the damage was already done. And he wanted to kick himself because he’d just added another task to his to-do list he didn’t have time to fix.