“I’m not sure,” he sighs.
“I am.” I lean in, kissing his jawline. “One of us has to believe this will all work out. Let me be that person.”
It doesn’t escape my attention that this is probably would I should have said when we argued about Kristen, but realization is better late than never, right? If I wasn’t already going to give my all and open up to him on this vacation, I’m definitely doing it now.
“Cute.” I hear a voice near my ear.
Turning, I see that it’s RJ. “You knew what we were wearing. Remember, you were there when we picked them out?”
“You don’t have to act like I’ve lost my mind.” He rolls his eyes. “Just because I’ve decided to partake in a few recreational things doesn’t mean I don’t remember what I did a few days ago, or even a week ago.”
“Apparently it does,” I fire back at him. “Don’t you remember that promise you made? That you were done with this shit? Do you know how Everett feels right now?”
“No, and I honestly don’t care. My whole life has been about EJ. Excuse me for wanting something of my own.”
None of this sounds right. No one would pick this if they could. “This sounds like bullshit to me, if you want the truth. No one wants to end up a junkie, RJ.”
“Screw you, I’m not a junkie. I just like to have a good time.”
“You call this a good time? Everybody’s worried about you. Me, your brother, Montgomery. We’re all concerned. Why don’t you want the help I know you’ve been offered?”
His face twists in a vulgar mask. “You have this all figured out, don’t you? You think you can change me? You can fix me?”
“I don’t want to fix you,” I argue. “But I do know when someone is hurting, I also know when someone is calling out for help. You’re right there with both of them RJ. Why won’t you let someone in?”
I hadn’t let someone in until it’d almost been too late. For me it had to be someone who wasn’t related to me, or a part of my inner circle. But that realization had come later than it should have.
“Because all they want to do is fix me, and I can’t be fixed, Bri. I can’t be.”
“What do you think needs to be fixed? You’re okay the way you are.”
“Obviously not. Everyone always asks why I haven’t lived up to my father, why EJ’s the front man and not me, am I even attempting to get out from behind his shadow? It’s fucking exhausting. And now I have Montgomery questioning my feelings for her…” he trails off.
“Then she has doubts because you aren’t showing her, and if you’re treating her the way you’re treating everyone else in your life then I don’t blame her.”
I realize how harsh those words are when I see the look that slides across his face. It’s equal parts surprise and hurt. Maybe even a desperation if I’m being honest. Before I can say anything, he squares a glare on me that would wither a weaker person.
“Fuck you.” He flings the words out as if they’re stones that can hurt me. “And fuck my brother. Neither one of you know what I’m going through.”
“Hey!” I hear behind me, and my stomach immediately sinks. The last thing I want to do is come between RJ and EJ, but there’s no mistaking the irritation in EJ’s tone. “You got something to say to me, you come say it. Don’t involve my wife in it.”
“Then tell your wife to keep her goddamn mouth shut,” he fires back.
EJ moves so that I’m standing partway behind him, putting himself in between us. “Look, you’ve got a stick up your ass, a chip on your shoulder – what the fuck ever – but you don’t get to talk to her like that.”
“But she can talk to me anyway she wants? Figures you’d take her side.”
“This isn’t about sides,” I argue from where I stand. “We’re all worried about how you’re doing.”
“Fuck this.” RJ turns, leaving the backyard, heading through the back gate and presumably away from the party.
“We should follow him.” I grab hold of EJ’s arms. “He shouldn’t be by himself.”
“No,” he sighs. “He won’t allow anyone near him when he’s like this. The best thing we can do is pretend nothing happened and go back to the party.”
“He needs someone,” I beg.
“But until he knows how to ask for help, he’ll never accept someone.” EJ shakes his head. “I’ve been dealing with this for enough years to know. As much as I want to help, I can’t. Not until he’s ready.”
As I watch a vehicle go up the street, I know it’s RJ, and all I want to do is run after it. But I’m taking cues from my husband, and instead I go back to our party. Suddenly, it’s not as fun as before.
Chapter Twenty-One
EJ
“Time to get up sleepy-head,” I joke as I slowly shake Bri awake. We had a much later night than we intended. To say I’m worried about Rhett is an understatement, but I’ve promised the next few days to my wife and I plan to make good on that promise.
“Do we have to?” She groans, covering her eyes with her forearm. “I was having the most amazing dream. It was the continuation of what you started while I was getting ready.”
“Oh really?”
Now this is the type of stuff I like to hear. I wonder if she’s just saying it to try and convince me to let her sleep a little longer, or if she was actually having a hot dream. Reaching down between her thighs, I slip my middle finger under the cotton barrier of her panties.
She’s fucking soaked.
“Bri,” I groan. “Why do you do this to me?”
“You started it,” she moans as I slip in slightly.
Judging by how wet she is, this isn’t going to take long, and if I’m being honest, I need something to take my mind off the worry I’m feeling. The best place for me to distract myself is with the body right before me. Leaning down, I take her peaked nipple into my mouth and work it hard as I use my finger to press in and pull out of her warmth. She’s already thrusting against me, so ready for this orgasm I’m about to give her.
“Everett.” She buries her fingers in my hair, thrusting her breast into my mouth. “Bite harder.” Her voice is guttural, going after exactly what she wants. Last night when we were interrupted by my mom, maybe I pushed her too far without giving her the relief she so obviously craved.
Doing as she asks, I let my eyes slide closed, lose myself in the heat of her body, the smell of her skin, and the taste that’s undeniably Bri. I often wondered about when people got married. Would they get sick of the partners they were with? Everything would turn into a routine.
How wrong I was. Every time with her is a new experience, another chance to try something different. There’s never been anyone else who trusted me with their body like she does. It’s humbling, heady, and everything I always hoped it would be. Right here, right now, I don’t know how I could ever get sick of her. I could have her every night for the rest of my life and it still not be enough.
This is the gift I’ve been given, and not one I’ll let slip away easily. I’ll fight for her, go to the ends of the earth and slay dragons for her if it’s what I have to do to keep her safe.
But right now all I want to feel is her body tightening around my fingers. Letting go of her nipple with a loud release of suction, I hitch myself up to her ear. Lowering my tone, I give her a darker version of me, letting her hear how turned on I am, how much I want for her to come. “You feel my fingers, thrusting in and pulling out?” I ask, low, just for her ears only.
“Mmmm hmmmm,” she answers, grabbing hold of my wrist, pressing it harder into her core.
“Does it feel good?”
“Yes! Everything you do feels good. Don’t stop, please don’t stop.”
“You gonna come for me like a good girl?” I use my tongue against her ear, causing her to shiver.
“Do you want me to?” she whines, pressing harder against me.
“Yes, fuck yes,” I answer honestly. “The best part of my day is when I can make you lose control an
d scream your enjoyment out so loud it doesn’t matter who else is in the house to hear it. Let go for me, beautiful. Let me hear it.”
She’s shoving her body onto my fingers, working hard against them, and that’s when I feel it. The tightening and the releasing. Bri screams, louder than I’ve heard her scream before.
“There ya go.” I talk her through it, slowing down my fingers as her tense muscles relax. “Feel good?” I withdraw, sticking her essence in my mouth, groaning as I twirl my tongue around my fingers.
“Give me a minute and I’ll reciprocate.” She turns over onto her side, panting, her arm across her stomach protectively.
“Nope, this was about you. You’ll be completely relaxed for our flight today.”
She giggles, snuggling deeper into my embrace. “That’s for sure.”
“You even rented a SUV, huh?” She grins as we make our way through the airport, stopping at the rental counter.”
“How else do you expect us to get around? I’m not sure I trust our safety to Uber or someone like that. Plus, I don’t want others to know where we are.”
We wait while they get us the rental. Watching Bri as she walks over to the terminal window, I wonder again what she and RJ were talking about at the party last night. Given the way they were looking at one another – it wasn’t good. Sighing, I try to remind myself my brother isn’t my responsibility. He’s old enough to know right from wrong and he should be attempting to make good choices. But I know he’s not, and that’s the crux of the problem. If I could will him to make all the correct decisions, I would.
“Mr. Thompson, here’s your keys. Would you like me to show you where it’s parked?”
“Nah.” I wave off the worker. “It should beep when I click the locks, right?”
“Correct.”
“Then we’ll be good, there’s no reason for you to go out in the elements unless you have to. I think we got this,” I tilt my head to the side to where Bri stands. “Ready babe?”
She nods with a smile, coming over to grab my hand in hers. Together, we walk out of the airport into the cold air.
“I can’t believe how cold it already is.” She shivers, tightening her scarf around her neck.
“Aren’t you used to New York winters? This should be nothing for you,” I tease, beeping the locks to see where our vehicle is.
“Yeah, but you forget for the last few years I’ve been going where the music takes me, and I’m thankful that most of the time in the winter, it’s not where it snows and you can see your breath,” she laughs.
“There it is.” The rental beeps back at me this time. “Ohh, this is nice.” I eye the black Escalade, opening the back so that we can put our bags in.
When we get into the SUV, me in the driver’s seat, her in the passengers, she looks at me, a smartass grin on her face. “But the question is, how good can you drive on snow? You don’t get a whole lot of it in Nashville.”
“Ha, ha, ha. My dad made sure both me and RJ knew how to drive on snow the first year we got our licenses.”
“Good, because I have no idea,” she laughs, buckling up.
“Let me put the address in, and we can be on our way.”
The drive there is a lot scarier than I would have imagined, even though I wasn’t lying about being able to drive in these elements. We were taught in a controlled environment. The one we’re in right now isn’t controlled at all. But I’m proud as we pull up to the house I’ve rented for us for the next few days. “There’s a garage, but the opener is in the mailbox,” I point to where it is at the bottom of the driveway. “Can you grab it for me?”
Within minutes we’re in house, our suitcases stacked by the door. “Oh my God, Everett,” she breathes as she gets a good look at the floor to ceiling windows in the living room. It’s overlooking one of the biggest mountains I’ve ever seen. Geography isn’t my strong suit, so I have no idea what it’s called, but it’s magnificent.
“So?” I phrase the word as a question, walking up behind her, putting my hands on her shoulders. “Do we want to go snowboarding now, or would you prefer to have the conversations we keep putting off? It’s just us, we can do whatever we want.”
“It is just us, isn’t it?”
The smile on her face is double worth the price of admission for this whole trip. To make her realize how much I adore her, is one of the best gifts I can ever give both her and I. “It is, this entire trip. I wanna do what you wanna do. Nothing is off-limits, Bri. Whatever you want to know, all you have to do is ask. Same with whatever you want to do.”
A serious look overtakes her face. “Usually I would say let’s go hit the slopes first thing, but we’ll just be putting off the inevitable. Can we have that talk we keep saying we’re going to have? Then the rest of the time we can spend either naked or out in the snow?”
I agree whole-heartedly. “Sounds like the best idea you’ve ever had.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Bri
I’ve wasted more time than I care to admit unpacking clothes and making a delivery grocery order. I know I’m the one who asked for this, but I’m still nervous.
Scared to death is probably a more apt description of my feelings. While I’m waiting for the delivery, Everett’s upstairs taking a shower in one of the amazing bathrooms this place has. As I glance around the downstairs area, I wonder how he knew what my dream house would look like. If I were given an option, this would be it. The mountains have always felt like home to me, and I can’t begin to explain the peace I feel as I look out the window, taking in the wide expanse of the mountain range in front of us. Big, fat, snowflakes fall, reminding me of a snow globe. It’s almost as if someone shook the world and we’re in the right place at the perfect time.
My phone buzzes, letting me know our grocery order is here. Going outside, I carry them back in. Typically I’m a live as we die type of person and refuse to make more than one trip. Tonight, I almost carry them in bag by bag, and when I get them into the kitchen, I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to put away groceries in my life.
Anything to keep from having the discussion I know me and him need to have.
“Is everything here like you wanted it?”
His voice startles me, causing me to drop the crackers in my hand onto the floor.
“Sorry.” He bends over to pick them up, and when he comes face to face with me, I take the moment to scan his face.
It’s the face of the man who’s come to mean everything to me, the one I’ve grown to love more than I ever thought possible. In times like this, I wonder how I could ever be angry with him, but on the same token, I know there are things we desperately need to discuss. The fact that I don’t know how to approach it says more than it should. Amy I really ready for this?
“C’mon.” He grabs my hand, along with a bag of marshmallows I ordered. “Let’s roast these in the fireplace and get to that talk you wanted to have.
As we’re walking by the fridge, I reach in and grab a few bottles of beer for him and a couple hard lemonades for me. Together we walk over to the rug in front of the fireplace and have a seat. He puts the marshmallows on some sticks he found and I open up our alcohol.
Once he has one over the open fire, he turns to me. “Okay babe, ask me any question you have.”
This is hard, being put on the spot. Even though this is what I said I wanted, we’re not in the moment anymore, neither one of us are angry and I don’t know what the hell we were fighting for. I break the silence the best way I know how. “Is Ariana Grande really your celebrity crush?”
His face flames a bright red. “I could kill my mother, and I might next time I see her.”
It’s not very often he’s exasperated and to see him like it right now is the best thing for me. I giggle hard at the look on his face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That shouldn’t have been my first question, I’m just not used to situations like this. I was never allowed to be curious prior to this with my parents – or anyone else �
�� if I’m being honest. This is super uncomfortable for me.”
“Well, it’s not a walk in the park for me either, but I want to move past whatever it is that trips you up. So here we are.”
“What was your first thought when you woke up next to me in Vegas?” This has been on my mind for a while, and part of why I’ve never fully been able to seriously commit. “Was it oh shit, here I am stuck with this woman I don’t even know? Were you scared? Did you feel trapped? Do you feel trapped now?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is this even about our pasts, babe? Or is this more about serious conversations we need to have between each other. Just know I’m fine either way, but I need to know what you’re looking for. That way I can help.”
“I don’t know.” I feel my bottom lip tremble, hating that I’m emotional, but that’s me and I can’t change it. “All I know is I have all these doubts, and those doubts are me, they aren’t about you. It’s the shit I have floating through my own head on a daily basis. I just need answers.”
“Okay,” he scoots closer to me, taking our marshmallows out of the fire and handing them to each of us. “If answers is what you need, answers is what you’ll get.” He clears his throat. “Which of those questions do you want me to go with first?”
“I don’t care, they’re all up in here.” I point to my head.
“When I woke up next to you in Vegas, the first thing I wondered, was ‘Oh shit, I hope I didn’t hurt her’. Then, once I realized you were there because you wanted to be there, and I saw the rings on our fingers, I was like well there goes my chance. I remembered having a seriously good time with you the night before. You immediately put me at ease and that’s not normal for me. I’m typically pretty suspicious of everyone, but there were moments of our time together I could remember. From the introduction, I liked you, and if we got to skip all the awkward dating bullshit, then even better.”
Breach of Contract: A Rocker Romance (The Nashvegas Series Book 2) Page 11