“RJ is a whole other situation you’re going to have to figure out,” she says softly. “Along with our marriage, I mean what do you plan on doing with that?”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t know what I want right now, it’s all so fresh and right at the top. It’s raw and I’m not even sure how I’m feeling. We both said and did some things we might not be able to take back.”
There’s a heaviness in my chest, something I haven’t felt for years as I look at her. She doesn’t know if she wants to fight for this, and I’m doubting if I can convince her to.
But I don’t want her to leave.
My life wouldn’t be nearly as colorful, my world not nearly as bright, and my heart wouldn’t be happy.
Somehow, someway, I’ve got to figure out a way to make her stay.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Bri
“I know I don’t have a right to ask this.” EJ clears his throat, seeming to force words through an opening too tight to fit them. “But I’m going to anyway, because I don’t know how I’ll live without you. Please don’t leave me.”
There’s a burning deep in my chest, one I’ve never felt before. Even through all the disappointment I’ve had in my life, this is what’s fucking broke me. “I’m so pissed at you.” I do my best to keep my voice level, but I know it won’t stay that way for long. “How could you do this to me?”
“You told me you were unsure about us, Brianna,” he throws my words back at me.
“Unsure didn’t mean go out, get drunk, kiss some other woman, and then get fucking arrested, EJ.” Calling him that feels weird, the words don’t roll off my tongue like Everett did, and I hate that we’ve put ourselves in this situation.
“I know it didn’t, and I’m a bastard for asking, but I have to know. Please don’t leave me, we can work through this.”
“Can we?” I yell at him. “Because right now when I close my eyes, all I can see is the picture of you kissing her. Who was she? Someone you knew from before? I thought we went through all of that.”
“I didn’t know her,” he admits. “She was some chick at the bar, probably looking to bag a famous person on her trip to Nashville.”
“Well, she almost got what she wanted, didn’t she? What if she’d gotten you into bed, EJ? Had sex with you, had you so drunk you didn’t wear a condom and then she got to have your baby? Then she’s got you for a lifetime and what do I get? Sloppy seconds?”
“Hey! You are never going to get sloppy seconds. You have me,” he assures me. “All of me, I don’t know what I can do to prove it to you.”
“How about not leaving when things get rough? I never would’ve thought that’d be you, but you proved me wrong tonight.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he cuts off.
“I don’t know what I want you to say either. All I do know is I have nowhere else to go here in Nashville, and I have some decisions to make.”
“We have a life here together,” he begs, dropping to his knees in front of me, holding my hands at waist level. “Please don’t let me have destroyed it. We’ve worked hard for it.”
“I know we have, which is why I’m so damn mad at you. One fight and you threw it away. Is this how it’s always going to be? Am I going to have to worry every time we get into an argument?”
He throws it back to me. “Are you going to threaten me to go back on our life together every time your mom comes and derails your plans? We’ve both got shit to work on, Bri, so don’t put it all at my feet.”
As much as I want to tell him he’s full of shit, I can admit he’s right. Neither one of us are in the best place to make demands on the other. I inhale deeply, exhaling just as deeply. “You’re right. Neither one of us needs to take the blame for all of this. But I have to be honest with you, I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to trust you again. Seeing you with her, it broke a piece of me.”
“Hearing you be not sure about our lives together broke a piece of me too, Bri, so we’re both going to have to do some work here.”
“And we have so many public appearances coming up, along with the release of our records on our label.”
“So you do want to continue?” He looks at me with a raised brow.
“We’re so far into it, why would we not?”
“That’s not what you said earlier.”
“I know,” I snap at him. “But some of the things you’ve said tonight make sense. We need to continue with this.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You know we’re going to get some blowback. Fans aren’t going to be happy when they hear RJ and I got arrested, and they’re going to be equally pissed when they see those pictures of me. Not to mention my parents. There’s gonna be a lot of public statements we’re going to have to make. People may not agree with you, if you want to stay with me.”
“I’m not leaving.” I clear my throat. “Leaving would be easy right now, because looking at you makes my heart hurt. But there’s one thing I do know :My life is better with you in it, even if you’ve made mistakes. I’ve never been as happy as I’ve been with you.”
“I’ve never been as happy as I am with you, either,” he comes over, cautiously putting his arms around me. “You’re signing up for a lot. RJ needs help.”
“We all do,” I remind him. “If I were to only stay around when things are perfect. What kind of wife would I be?”
He rests his head against mine, each of us taking comfort in the simple act of our arms being around one another.
EJ
This is the hardest post I’ve ever had to write on my social media, and the reason for it is enough to make me want to kick my own ass, but the fact of the matter is, I have to live up to what I’ve done.
I know many of you have seen the news about what happened in Nashville last night.
First of all, please know that drinking and driving is never okay. I will take whatever punishment is handed down to me for my severe lapse in judgment. I’m incredibly lucky no one was hurt, and I’m thankful for Metro PD for doing their jobs.
Second of all, Bri and I would request that you respect our privacy during this time. The pictures with the other woman should never have happened. She was someone who came up to me in the bar, and I made a choice to talk to her.
As a married man, that choice was wrong.
I am thankful Bri has agreed to work through this with me. We’re strong, and we’re going to stay that way. I love her more than life itself and I made a mistake. One I will never make again.
I’m incredibly sorry for embarrassing my wife, my family, and my friends. I take my actions seriously and I vow to be a better husband, brother, and friend. What I did wasn’t okay, will never be okay, and I will work to get the trust back that I lost last night.
Thank you for sticking with me.
EJ
“Are you okay?”
My head snaps up as I hear the voice of my Dad coming through my office door. I’ve never been so glad to see him in my life. “No.” My answer is choked, coming out on an almost-sob. “Everything’s fucked up. RJ, Bri, me, everything. What did I do?”
“You were a human being, who made a mistake. The important thing is, you own up to it and you start to apologize. I’ve done shit I’ve not been proud of. More before you and your brother were born, but in the end I always said I was sorry and meant it. That got me out of more scrapes than I care to recall.”
“I have said I’m sorry.”
“But,” - he takes a drink of his coffee. “ -did you mean it?”
“With every fiber of my being. I wish I could take back everything that happened last night. It was a clusterfuck.”
He reaches over, putting his hand on my knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “As long as you meant it, things will work out. If there’s anything us Thompson’s know how to do it, it’s apologize. We’re always fucking something up.”
A slight grin pops on my face, before I turn s
erious again. “What about RJ?”
Dad grimaces. “I sent Jared to talk to him. If anyone can get through to him, it’ll be Jared. He knows the way your brother’s mind works and can probably understand so much more than we ever will. I have a feeling he’ll help him. If not, Montgomery will never be with him, and if your brother wants anything, it’s that girl.”
“Sometimes I’m not so sure she’s even enough to keep him from doing shit he shouldn’t do. You didn’t see him last night.”
“I have to have faith in something, and Jared’s it. If he can’t, I don’t think anyone can. So I hope he’s got enough resilience to deal with your brother.”
God, I hope so. If someone doesn’t, I’m scared he’s not going to make it to our new record coming out.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Bri
Christmas Eve has never been what I would call a happy time. Not in my life, and not with my family, but as I look around at the Thompson family, gathered at Garrett and Hannah’s, I have to admit – this is everything I’ve always hoped for.
Everett and I are still working things out, and some days are better than others, but we’re committed and that’s all that matters.
“Do not eat that cookie,” Hannah points to RJ.
“Why not?”
“It’s for after dinner,” she puts her hand on her hip, waving her spatula at him.
“What happened to when we were kids, and we could eat whatever we wanted?”
Everett comes to stand next to him, patting his stomach. “We got older and our metabolism slowed down.”
“Maybe you got happy, married, and are working on a dad bod, but some of us aren’t,” he retorts.
I giggle as I take a sip of my wine. It’s been fun hanging out with them, and we get to open presents after we eat.
That’s another thing I’ve never really been a part of. My parents got us kids one gift a piece and then a big one to share, all while they took vacations and had new cars every year.
“Are you okay?” Everett asks as he comes behind me. “I know this is a little much for someone who isn’t used to it.”
We’ve tried to become more in tune with what the others feeling, by asking, rather than assuming.
“I’m good, this is fun,” I assure him. “I’m excited to open gifts.”
His green eyes sparkle. “I can’t wait for you to see what I got you.”
“Me neither.”
We’re all stuffed as we sit around the tree together.
“I’m too full to open gifts,” RJ groans, laying on his back.
“Good, then I’ll take all of yours,” Everett jokes, laying down next to him.
“Bri, why don’t you hand them out,” Hannah suggests.
Another first for me, this one I’ll gladly take. It makes me feel like a more important member of the family. Getting up, I start stacking presents in front of each member, giddy at the small stack in front of where I’m sitting. I’ve never been made to feel like a part of the family before, and no matter how much EJ and I have gone through together, Garrett and Hannah have always made me feel welcome.
When I’m done, I have a seat and we all start to open them.
“Oh my god,” I hiss as I open a pair of earrings from Hannah.
“Do you like them?” She smiles over at me.
“I love them, they’re so colorful.”
“Amethyst is one of my favorites, and depending on how the light hits it, it always looks different.”
“I can’t wait to wear them!”
I’m done before everyone else, but I enjoy watching the rest of them opening their stuff.
EJ gets to his from me. It’s an envelope. “What is this?” He puts his finger through the seal, tearing at it.
“Open it, and find out.”
When he does, glancing at the words on the paper, he falls back laughing, covering his face with his hands. “It’s Ariana Grande meet and greet passes.”
The group hassles him, and he takes it in stride.
“I thought you’d love it,” I wink at him.
“Dream come true,” his face is a bright red, and the smile on his face says he really does.
“It’s time for your gift, be right back.”
“Does anyone know what this is?” I ask as he runs to one of the back rooms.
“It’s been here a few days,” Hannah shrugs. “I think you’ll love it.”
When he comes back, there’s a ball of brown fluff following him with a little blue bow around it’s neck. “Oh my god, what is this?”
“This is yours, ours really, but I wanted him for you. So you’d never feel alone again,” his eyes shine with understanding. “He’s a Golden Doodle and his name is Teller, but you can change it if you want.”
“No, I love it.” I hold my arms out for him, and it’s like he knows. His little legs carry his body over to me, and he collapses against my legs, licking my hand. “You’re so cute,” I scratch at his belly. “How old is he?”
“Twelve weeks, and he’s potty trained. He uses a bell to let you know when he wants to go out,” Hannah says. “He’s been using it since he got here. No accidents in the house.”
I look down at him, swearing he’s smiling.
And Everett’s right. For the first time in a long time, the feeling of loneliness that’s always simmered at the back of my brain is finally gone.
Looking over at my husband, I smile. “Best Christmas ever.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
EJ
Small snowflakes are falling from the dark blanket of the night sky. The ground glistens beneath the window I’m looking at, glazed with a slight sheet of ice from earlier in the day. It’s the perfect night to stay in and curl up in front of the fireplace we splurged on, unfortunately tonight isn’t that night.
In all the years I’ve lived in Nashville, I can count on one hand the times it’s snowed on New Year’s Eve. Makes sense, since Bri and I will be hosting an outdoor party downtown.
Turning away from the window, I smirk at my wife. She’s perched in a chair, getting her hair and makeup done. Our kitchen and dining room have been turned into a makeshift dressing suite. “Good thing what you chose to wear for tonight is long-sleeved.”
“Is it still snowing?” Her bottom lip presses out.
“It is, looks like there’s a little bit of ice too.”
“Do you even think people will come out to this tonight?”
To me it’s obvious she’d rather stay home too, but we signed a contract, and this is an important night. We’re both fucking nervous. “Of course people are going to show up. It’s us and it’s a traditional party night.”
“It’s us.” She giggles. “That’s so conceited.”
“But correct, right? People do love us. You’ve seen the comments on IG this week anytime we’ve posted anything about this.”
“I have, it just still seems so weird, especially since we’ve effectively been cut off from our fans for the past few months.”
The deal with the record company is starting to get to her. Hell, it’s starting to get to all of us. The only thing keeping me sane is the fact we’ve been able to continue recording.
“Come on,” Madison pipes up from where she sits scrolling through her phone. “You know better than that.”
“What if I don’t,” Bri whispers. “What if I’ve only been able to make it because the record company was a juggernaut who knew how to push me?”
This is the first time I’ve heard her say these words. Is it something she’s thought of before? This is the shit that must roll around in her head when she’s trying to sleep at night. I don’t even know how to respond to this, but Madison beats me to the punch.
“They can push you as much as they want to, but they can’t make you happen Bri. You and I both know there’s plenty of singers who’ve been pushed and haven’t been able to do half of what you’ve done.”
I bide my time, waiting for the room to clear out as much
as it will. When she’s finally ready to get her dress on, we’re left alone. I take the opportunity to approach her.
“I had no idea you felt that way.” I keep my voice level, not wanting to spook her. It’s not often she opens up like this, especially with the life she lived before she met me.
She shrugs. “It’s not easy to lay all my vulnerabilities out there.”
“For me you should be able to. We should talk about anything.” I reach forward, grabbing her fingers with mine.
“It’s not easy.” She blows a breath out. “Back when I lived at home with my parents, those doubts were used against me.”
My eyes search hers. “How? What did they do to you, Bri?” I reach out with my other hand, caressing her cheek.
For the first time I realize what a great actress she is. The cloudiness of her eyes moves away quickly, replaced with the look she gives to interviewers and such. Which hurts like hell, because I should be the one person she gives all of herself to. “Not tonight.” She grins. “We’re getting all dressed up and going on a date. We’re making a huge announcement. Let’s not ruin it with talk of my annoying parents.”
Something about the way she blows me off doesn’t feel right, but with everyone in our house, I can’t argue and make her open up. This is one of the issues we’ve been trying to work on, but they still pop up. Things aren’t perfect, but we’re working, and that means more than anything. Moving my palm around to the back of her neck, I apply slight pressure, tilting her head up. “I’ll let this go for now, babe, because we have places to be, and a job to do. But later, you better expect me to move back to this. Do you know how it makes me feel to know you’ve been thinking this about yourself?”
Breach of Contract: A Rocker Romance (The Nashvegas Series Book 2) Page 16