by L A Cotton
“Where’s your head at right now?” Rick stared at me and I didn’t like the way his eyes searched mine.
“I’m tired. It’s been a long day. I think I’m just going to head home.”
“Let me drive you, we can talk.”
“It’s fine. I can walk.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
I blew out an exasperated breath. “Rick, I can walk home. It’s not that far.” I had no intention of walking home. But he didn’t need to know that.
“Let me get Lo and we can—”
“Lo... really? You think I want the two of you to give me a ride home? Thanks, but I’m good.”
As if she heard her name, Lo appeared at the door of the diner. “Is everything okay?”
I waited to see what he’d say. To see if he’d send her back inside.
Deep down I knew he wouldn’t.
“Everything’s fine,” he said rubbing the back of his neck. “Macey wants to leave, so I was just offering to drive her.”
“Of course, let me just tell Kyle and Laurie we’re leaving.” She disappeared back inside, and Rick settled his hard eyes back on me.
“Kyle mentioned—”
“Goodbye, Rick.” I waved him off as I started walking away.
“Macey, don’t you fucking dare.”
I spun around at that and glared at him. “Don’t dare what?”
Thankfully, the parking lot was empty, everyone inside celebrating the team’s win. Because this—Maverick and Macey Prince arguing—would keep people in gossip fodder for weeks.
“Don’t dare walk away from me.”
“That’s rich, coming from you,” the words spewed out.
Rick looked to the stars and let out a heavy sigh as if he was weighing up his response. But I didn’t stick around to hear it. I slipped into the shadows and ran.
I didn’t get very far. Devon’s car rolled up beside me. I glanced back, the diner just visible in the darkness, Rick’s form motionless against the night sky. I knew it was unlikely he could see me from here and even if he could, he wouldn’t be able to make out Devon’s car. But it didn’t stop me from hesitating.
The window rolled down and Devon said, “Get in the car, Princess.”
Exhaling my doubts, I tore open the door, climbed inside, and told Devon to take me anywhere away from here.
“WANT TO TALK ABOUT it?” Devon asked as we sat in his car staring out at the ocean. He hadn’t taken me home or to his house. Instead, he’d pulled off the coastal road heading out of town. Cars zoomed past us, coming and going while we stayed perfectly still, the world around us a blanket of stars.
“Rick ambushed me after the game. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset.”
“And why are you so upset?”
I glanced over at Devon and shook my head. “Honestly? I don’t even know anymore. You’ve heard the rumors about my dad, right? About the kind of man he is?”
“I’ve heard stuff. But I want to hear it from you.”
Inhaling a shaky breath, I settled back in the chair. “My mom and dad separated when I was four. I didn’t really understand it at the time. I was too young, and before I could ask many questions Mom had met Gentry and we had a new family. We still saw my dad on the weekends and for vacations. I was a Daddy’s girl. He’d take us to Disney every year and buy me whatever I wanted. Things were more strained between him and Rick, but I still loved spending time with him. He was my dad, you know?
“But the thing about growing up is you see more, hear more. By the time I was in junior high, I knew my dad had a mean streak, especially after a drink or two. He never lashed out at me or Rick, or his wife Maxine and their kids, but I’d heard some less than friendly phone calls and seen him lose his cool with a business associate. It was always work stuff though.” The next words lodged in my throat as tears pricked my eyes.
Devon reached across and took my hand in his, smoothing his thumb along the curve of my finger. “It’s okay, you don’t have to do this.”
His touch settled something inside me, giving me the strength I needed to continue. “I do... I mean, I want to.” My eyes slid to his. “I’ve never talked about this stuff with anyone, and holding it all in, it’s exhausting. I’m exhausted, Devon.”
He leaned over, cupping my face. “I’m right here.” His soothing words seeped into me and I cleared my throat trying to get rid of the lump that had settled there.
“The summer before I started tenth grade, Maverick and my dad got into it. Things had been strained between them for a while, but it was getting worse by the day. I’ll never forget listening to the two of them arguing. They were both so angry...” I trailed off, unable to say the words. No matter how bad things were between me and Rick, there were still some things that weren’t mine to tell.
“That was the night I found out my mom didn’t leave my dad because they fell out of love, Devon. She left him because he used to hit her.”
“Shit, Macey. I’d heard he could be... but I didn’t realize.”
“Trust me, it’s something we’ve all worked hard to brush under the rug. But when I found out, it felt as if everything I knew about my dad, about the man I was supposed to be able to depend on no matter what, was a lie,” I expelled a long breath. “It was a lie, Devon. It messed me up. But more than anything, I felt so incredibly sad for my mom. She’d spent years keeping her secret, to protect us, not wanting to taint my opinion of my dad.”
Or so I’d thought.
“There’s more, isn’t there?” Devon’s voice coaxed me from the painful memories and I nodded slowly.
“Earlier this year, Rick found out that my father was blackmailing Mom and Gentry. He wanted Rick to follow in his footsteps and attend Cal State East Bay, and threatened Gentry’s business. That’s how he got Mom on side. She was going to let Maverick give up his dream for him. A man who used to hurt her.” Tears burned my throat. “We’d spent our whole lives trying to protect ourselves from people who would try to use and manipulate us, and here Mom was doing it all along. The rational part of me knows she had her reasons for keeping it from us, but I still can’t get my head around it. And Maverick just forgave her and then rode off into the sunset to follow his dream.”
The tears I’d fought so hard to contain burst free, spilling down my cheeks, but Devon was there to dry them. His thumb slid over my cheekbone, catching each one as I blinked the moisture away. “Don’t cry, Princess. It hurts me too much.”
He kissed me.
Devon kissed me over and over and I let him. I needed him. Like I needed air. Until I could breathe again. Until all the pain and hurt and betrayal melted away for another day. Until there was room for only one single thought, something I wanted to ask him and never could.
Please don’t break my heart.
MAVERICK WENT BACK to SU and things went back to normal. Well, as normal as they could be given things were still tense between me and Mom, and me and Kyle, and me and Lo. The only people things weren’t tense between were me and Devon, me and Summer, and me and Kara. Although she had started to ask questions, like wanting to know why I’d asked her to lie Saturday night. I’d played it off and said there had been a row at home.
I don’t know if she bought it.
“I have something to ask you,” Kara said as we sat down for lunch. “Shaun wants to take me to a family thing. His sister got engaged and her family is throwing this huge party. He invited me, but it’s the first time I’m meeting them all and I’m so nervous. Sooo,” she hesitated. “I was hoping you would come.”
“Kara, I love you and you’re my best friend, but I’m not playing third wheel to you and Shaun all night at a party where I’ll know no one.”
She ducked her head into her salad, but I’d seen the flash of guilt in her eyes. “You wouldn’t be third wheel. Shaun’s brother is in town. He’s single and he’s really, really hot, and... he doesn’t have a date, so I thought—”
“Oh no, no way.” I pressed
my palm into the table leaning across to her. “I am not going on a blind date with Shaun’s brother to their sister’s engagement party. Do you realize how weird that sounds?”
Not to mention the fact, I had Devon. I couldn’t just go on dates with other people.
“It’s only for a few hours. Please?” She flashed me her best innocent smile. “I really like him, and I want his family to like me, but it’s intense, you know?”
I didn’t, but whatever.
“Kara, you can’t ask me to do this.” I sighed, pushing salad around my plate.
“But you’re the only person I can ask. Shaun assures me Vinnie is a complete gentleman. He’s a sophomore at UCLA. If I thought there was any chance he was a douchebag I wouldn’t ask, you know that.”
She pouted, batting full-on puppy dog eyes at me, that on anyone else would irritate the crap out of me.
“When is it?”
Hope lit up her face. “The weekend after Thanksgiving. Does that mean you’ll come?”
“It means I’ll think about it. Possibly. Maybe.”
She shrieked with delight and a couple of guys at the table over looked at us funny. “Oops,” she whispered across the table. “I’m so excited, and thank you; I’ll never forget this, Macey.”
“It isn’t a definite yet.” I rolled my eyes stabbing my salad again. “I need to double check the date.”
And talk to Devon about it.
Maybe it was the guilt of keeping my secret from Kara or the fact she was the one friend who had stuck by me, but the thought of letting her down made me feel bad. So even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, I’d do it because if anyone deserved to be happy, it was Kara.
“A double date.” She swung her shoulders, excitement dancing in her eyes. “Just imagine... if you and Vinnie hit it off, we could all hang out.”
But as I smiled tightly and forked some salad into my mouth, I didn’t feel like I’d done a good thing—I felt worse than ever.
“FUCK, I’VE MISSED YOU.” Devon traced his lips over my collarbone and up my neck, pressing a lingering kiss on my mouth. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I smiled, stroking my fingers through his hair. “How was your day?”
“The usual. Mr. Peterson almost killed me—death by dead poets. I had a pretty decent view in Foley’s class though.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” He brushed his nose over my jaw, pecking the corner of my lips. “Millie Trafford is looking really—Ow!” he yelped as I dug my fingers into his ribs.
I’d felt him watching me in class. The weight of his stare no longer annoying but comforting. I craved it. His look, his touch. I craved everything about him.
“What about your day?” he asked.
“It was fine.”
“Fine.” Devon inclined his head, studying me. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“It’s nothing, so please don’t get mad.” I pulled his collar, anchoring us together, and touched my head to his.
“Do I need to get mad?” Confusion creased his brows.
“So, remember I told you Kara is seeing that guy Shaun?” Devon nodded. “Well, he’s invited her to a family party, but she doesn’t want to go alone.”
“That doesn’t sound too ominous.”
“She wants me to go with Shaun’s older brother... as his date.”
He eased back, staring at me, but I couldn’t get a read on his emotions; although his silence didn’t seem like a good thing.
“Devon?”
“Do you want to go?”
“What? Of course I don’t want to go,” I said. “But she’s my friend and I want her to be happy. I’ll make sure Vinnie knows I’m not interested. It won’t be like that, I promise.”
“Okay,” he said without hesitation. “I trust you.”
I studied him, trying to get a better look at his eyes. If I expected to find any doubt glittering in his dark irises, I found none. “You’re really okay with this?” I asked.
“You’re not my property, Macey. If you want to go, I trust you. Just make sure Vinnie knows to keep his hands to himself.”
Leaning back in, I gently brushed my lips over his. “I will, you have my word.”
Part of me was relieved he was being so mature about this, but I couldn’t deny the pang of disappointment that he didn’t fight me on it. Weren’t guys supposed to get all jealous about these kinds of things? But then he pulled me closer and whispered, “I’d better mark you, so you don’t forget who you belong to.”
A delicious shiver rippled up my spine.
Belong to...
Did I really belong to Devon Lions?
Chapter 20
DEVON
“Dude, what is up with you? You’ve barely said two words, and they were only to tell Jared to fuck off. The guy can be a dick but you kind of gave him a hard time.”
My eyes snapped to Liam’s, and I ran a hand over my face. “I’m just stressed.”
One month.
It had been one month since Macey decided to take a chance on us. One month of sneaking around and stealing moments together. Of living and loving in the shadows, away from the public eye.
It was starting to take its toll.
Not to mention, Thanksgiving was right around the corner and Dad was spending more time at work and the bar than ever. Then Macey had dropped the bomb about going with Kara to some party with Kara’s boyfriend and his brother. As. His. Date. I trusted Macey, that wasn’t the problem. I knew she felt bad for keeping our relationship from Kara. I just didn’t trust anyone else with her.
Every second we spent together, I fell a little deeper down the Macey Prince rabbit hole. Things were good, really good, but I felt like I needed to get off the spinning wheel and catch my breath. Steel myself for the next four weeks. Or eight weeks. Or three months. Because although I was trying desperately hard not to think about it, I couldn’t help feeling at the rate we were going, the new year would roll around and things would be no closer to being out in the open.
I’d told Macey I was cool with that.
More and more, I was beginning to think I wasn’t.
“I get it,” Liam replied. “Senior year is intense, but I don’t know, man, you’ve been acting weird. Sneaking around. Acting more spaced out than usual. I know something is going on.”
Shit.
He knew.
Of course, he fucking knew. Liam was my best friend. We’d been hanging around together since we were just two scrawny fifth graders sharing a love of Five Finger Death Punch and skateboards.
“It’s nothing.”
“You keep saying that, but it’s something. You can talk to me. Even if it’s about Cat. I promise not to give you any shit.”
“It’s not about her.” I tipped my head back letting it hit the overturned trunk and looked up at the blanket of stars.
“Lo then?”
“Nah. It’s...” I bit back her name. I wanted so badly to tell him, to share the burden of the secret I was keeping. But it felt like a betrayal somehow.
I’d made a promise. One I wanted to keep more than anything. Liam was my best friend though. He wouldn’t out us to anyone if I made him swear not to breathe a word of it to anyone. Not even Autumn.
“Who?” Liam pushed. “The anticipation is killing me over here.”
“Jackass.” My eyes snapped to his.
“Fuck face,” he shot back around a wide grin.
“You swear you won’t repeat this? I mean it, Liam. No one can know. Not even Autumn.”
“Holy shit, who is it?” He sat straighter, leaning in slightly. “A teacher? Miss Tamson?”
I balked. “No, fuck, what do you take me for? Miss Tamson, really, man?”
He shrugged looking oddly disappointed. “She’s kind of hot and I know you’ve been having all those one-on-ones with her.”
“I saw her like twice. I can’t believe you think...” Incredulity dripped from my voice. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not Miss Tams
on, or any other teacher for that matter.”
“So if it’s not Miss Tamson then wh—”
“Macey. Macey Prince.” Her name whooshed from my chest and I instantly felt like a weight had been lifted... until I saw the horror dawn in Liam’s eyes.
“Prince’s sister? You’re banging Maverick Prince’s sister?” His eyes almost bugged out. “It’s official. You’ve lost your fucking mind. Have you forgotten he wanted to skin you alive for that stunt you pulled last year? I’m still surprised he didn’t beat the shit out of you for that.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything.” I lowered my head, tugging the ends of my hair in frustration.
“Yes, you should! You should have said something the moment you thought it was a good idea to stick your dick in the girl whose brother wants you dead.”
My eyes flew back to his. “He doesn’t—”
“Not the point.” He levelled me with a hard look. “It’s Macey Prince. I can’t even wrap my head around it. She’s... and you’re...”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It’s Macey Prince,” he repeated as if those three words told me all I needed to know.
And maybe, deep down, they did.
“Why can’t you just like nice simple girls like Hallie or Kim?”
“It’s not like I planned it this way,” I muttered, irritation bubbling underneath my skin. I never planned to wake up beside her. To learn the curves and dips of her body. The taste of her skin.
I didn’t plan on any of it.
But now it had happened, I didn’t want to take it back either.
“You need to end it; you know that, right? Before someone—”
“I can’t.” I let out a long breath, the weight of the truth pulling me down further into the sand.
“Can’t? Why the fuck not?” He stared at me like I’d completely lost my mind.
“Because... because I love her.” My eyes shuttered as I admitted the truth. “I’m in love with her.”