by L A Cotton
I wasn’t sure how long we sat like that, but I eventually fell asleep with tears streaming down my face and my heart shattered into a thousand pieces.
Chapter 22
DEVON
The last person I expected to see was Lo, but there she was, walking toward me. She dropped down beside me on the bench. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“Honestly, I don’t even know where to start.”
“You and Macey, huh? I didn’t see that one coming, at all.”
“You’re not the only one.”
“How long?”
“We first... hmm, ya know, just after Maverick’s graduation. But we’ve only been serious a few weeks.”
“It is serious then?”
“Shit, I don’t know how to answer that.” I dragged a hand down my face.
“Do you love her?”
This was weird. There had been a time, when Lo first arrived in Wicked Bay, that we’d gotten close. We’d talked about things. Her life in England. Her new family. We’d even talked about Caitlin after everything went down. But talking about Macey felt like a betrayal to them both somehow.
“I’m sorry,” she added when I didn’t answer. “It’s none of my business.”
“I heard you stuck up for her when Cat was...” I clenched my fist, anger radiating in my chest. I hadn’t seen it go down, but I knew something was wrong when I became the center of attention during first period.
“She’s my family, Devon. That’s what you do for family.”
“How was she?”
“She’s putting on a front, but I know she’s hurting. She thinks you—”
“I didn’t.”
“I know.”
I’d confided in Liam, but that was it. Everything else Caitlin said was for show, to use Macey as a chance to no doubt hurt me.
“You do?”
“You’re a little misguided, Devon, but you’re not a bad guy.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t think Maverick and Macey will see it like that.”
“I’ll handle Maverick, and as for Macey, maybe you should try talking to her?”
“Already tried. She won’t answer my calls.” I’d rushed out of first period and called her over and over, willing her to pick up the phone. But I knew she wouldn’t. Macey’s default setting was to shut down.
“So you’re going to give up, just like that?”
“Do you know how long it took me to break through her barriers? A long fucking time. Macey is harboring some deep stuff.” I stopped, I’d already said too much.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing. It’s not my story to tell. But you’ve seen how guarded she is.”
Lo nodded. “She talks to me less now than she did when I arrived last year.”
“Macey didn’t want to tell anyone about us. She wanted to break the news to Maverick first. So I promised her time, and I meant it, I did. But it’s been intense, you know? I told Liam, that’s it. He sensed something was off with me and I told him. I had no idea he’d run off and tell Autumn. Caitlin must have overheard them talking about it.”
Maybe it was karma for the shit I put Lo through last year.
“I really bloody hate her.” Lo scuffed her sneakers through the dirt.
“She ruins everything she touches. But her word is like the holy gospel around here. Even though people know she’s a manipulative bitch, they eat up her stories like prime rib.”
“I think Macey’s in love with you,” Lo blurted out. It should have comforted me, but it only made the splinter in my chest crack wider.
“She’ll never trust me again.”
After hearing her open up about Nathan and the douchebags from her past, it wasn’t any wonder Macey had trust issues. Throw in her brother’s overbearing personality and her old man’s track record, and I wouldn’t have blamed her if she’d guarded her heart for eternity.
But she hadn’t.
Slowly, kiss by kiss, touch by touch, she’d let me in. At first, it was just a mutual understanding. Trading skin for silence. Macey made all the noise—my dad, Mom’s affair, a future job in construction—stop. And I knew I did the same for her. In those moments when we were consumed with desperate touches, all the bad shit stopped. It was addictive.
She was addictive.
And now I’d lost her because I couldn’t give her more time. Because the urge to share my secret with someone was a burden too heavy to carry.
Maybe I didn’t deserve her after all.
Fuck.
I cradled my head in my hands, cussing into my palms.
“Talk to her,” Lo said. “She’s been different lately. We’ve all noticed it. That’s you, Devon. You did that. I didn’t think it was possible, but you were breathing life back into her. That doesn’t just go away. No matter how betrayed she feels.”
I peeked over at Lo and said, “You’re a good friend.”
“All I want is for you to be happy. Both of you.”
I stood, overcome with the need to do something—anything—to fix the mess I’d inadvertently created.
“Where are you going?” Lo looked up at me.
“To see a girl.”
My girl.
Macey said she didn’t need people to fight her battles. But this was one fight, I wasn’t going to step aside from.
“If you never see me again, ask your boyfriend where he buried my body.”
“Maverick doesn’t even know yet.” She smiled. “He’s away with the team. You have at least twenty-four hours.”
“Then I’d better make them count. Thanks, Lo, for everything. It’s more than I deserve.”
“You were one of my first friends in Wicked Bay, Devon. I’ll never forget that. Now go get the girl.”
I’D NEVER BEEN TO THE Stone-Prince house before. Even now, standing at their door, I felt like I shouldn’t be here. But Lo was right, I needed to go after Macey. To explain things face-to-face, and if things went south, get on my knees and beg for forgiveness.
The door eventually swung open and Kyle Stone stood there, arms folded over his chest, his eyes set into thin lines. “I didn’t think you’d have the balls.”
“You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know there’s no way in hell you’d be standing here right now unless this is all some big misunderstanding.”
“You know it didn’t go down like she said.”
I didn’t need to say Cat’s name for him to know exactly who I was talking about. Her reputation preceded her, especially where his family where concerned.
“You’re just lucky Rick’s out of town. Because when he finds out about—”
“Yeah, yeah, do me a favor and save me the ‘big brother’s gonna kick your ass’ speech. I know what I have coming.” And if it came to it, I was prepared to pay my dues. Hell, if I could I’d beat my own stupid fucking ass.
Kyle glared at me and then slowly his face morphed into a smug grin.
“I’m glad you find this funny.”
“Come on, man. It’s pretty fucking hilarious. You shacking up with Macey behind everyone’s back? It’s like déjà vu except in this scenario you’re Rick and Macey’s Lo.” He frowned and then shuddered. “Okay, that is too weird.”
“Whatever.” I shook my head. “Is she home?”
“Who, Macey? She’s around.”
He was loving this. Every painful second of it. When I blew out an exasperated breath, he finally held up his hands. “I’m just messing with you. You’ve been good for her. I’ve noticed. We all have. But if you fuck her over, it won’t just be Rick you have to answer to.” His brows knitted together as his unspoken message hung between us.
“Got it,” I said.
“She’s upstairs. Last room on the left. I can’t promise you she’ll answer; she’s been holed up there all afternoon.” He stepped back letting me pass.
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
“Good luck; knowing Macey you’re going to need it.” He tip
ped his chin, and it was my turn to frown. This was too fucking weird. But I didn’t come to shoot the shit with Kyle, I came for Macey.
Their house was a mansion compared to our one-story stucco, as if I needed a reminder of any more reasons why I wasn’t good enough for her. But I tried to force it all out. I came here to iron out the truth, and I wasn’t leaving until she heard my side of the story.
My palms were slick, my heart jack-hammering in my chest. When I finally reached the last door on the left, I froze. But it swung open anyway. “Devon, wh- what are you—”
“Can we talk, please?” I rushed out, raking a hand through my hair.
“You shouldn’t be here.” She stepped back, folding into herself. The sight of her standing there, eyes red and puffy, her body swamped in an oversized sweater and leggings, slayed me.
Because I did that to her.
Me.
The one person she’d finally begun to trust.
I’d done some pretty shitty things in my life, but hurting Macey topped them all.
I stepped into the room before she could slam the door in my face. “Caitlin lied.” It had been my main argument but now the words seemed so insignificant.
“It doesn’t matter. We’re done,” she said flatly, schooling her features. “This, us, it’s over.”
“I told Liam,” I went on. “I needed to tell someone, Macey. I was overwhelmed, and when you mentioned going to that party with Kara and her boyfriend and the brother, it made me realize—”
“Stop, just stop.” Her hand flew up. “You don’t get it. It doesn’t matter who you told or how it happened. You can’t take it back and now everyone knows, and Rick will find out and everything will turn to shit.”
“Who gives a shit what Maverick thinks? You get to make your own decisions, Macey. Just like he did.” She flinched, but I kept going, I had to make her see we could figure this out. “Know what I think? I think you’re scared. Scared of how you feel about me, us. I’m sorry I told Liam, and I’m sure as fuck sorry he blabbed to Autumn and Caitlin overheard, but I’m not sorry everyone knows. I want to be able to hold your hand in the hall, kiss you outside class. To be able to look at my girlfriend across the cafeteria without worrying someone might see or figure out the truth. I want that, Macey, because I’m in love with you. I fucking love you, okay?”
A pained gasp slipped from her lips as she stared at me. Silence stretched out before us as she processed my words. It wasn’t how I planned to say them, but she needed to hear them.
She needed to know how I felt.
But her eyes didn’t soften with the truth. She didn’t run into my arms and forgive me. Instead, her walls rose higher around her until I could barely see inside.
“You don’t love me.” Sadness filled her voice. “You can’t. It’s not possible.” She backed away looking like a caged animal looking for a way out. But I closed the distance between us, refusing to let her run.
“Maybe this is a good thing,” I said softly. “We can come clean to Maverick and move on with our lives. He’s your brother, Macey, and he loves you and he will get over this.”
I hoped.
I reached for her, but she jerked away. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” She smiled sadly.
“Of course, it matters. Didn’t you hear anything I just said? I love you. I’m in love with you.”
“I’m leaving,” she rushed out. “Next year, after graduation, I’m going to Florida State. So even if we tried to make it work, it’s pointless. I’ll be moving three thousand miles across the country. And you’ll be here. It’s doomed. We’re doomed, Devon. I tried to tell you from the start we were.”
“Florida State? But you said you were applying to UCLA? I- I don’t understand unless...” The words almost choked me. “Unless you knew all along you were never planning on us being anything more than this?”
Her eyes dropped to the floor and a new wave of pain ripped through me.
She was leaving?
And she knew?
All this time she knew.
“I’m a fucking idiot.” The words whooshed from my chest. “You never planned on telling Maverick about us, did you?”
Macey refused to look at me and it spoke volumes.
“I came here to fight for you. To fight for us because that’s what you do for the people you love, you fight for them, Macey. But I’m seeing now this was one battle I could never win. I really thought you were different. I thought...” My eyes shuttered as I drew in a harsh breath. “You’re right, it doesn’t matter. We’re done.”
In the months with Macey, the push and pull, and messy nights, I always knew life with her would never be straightforward. But I didn’t want simple. I wanted fire. I wanted the kind of love that gnawed underneath your skin and drove you crazy. And when we were alone, I let myself imagine the future. The two of us, together.
But I never imagined this.
I never in a million years imagined I’d be the one walking away from her.
Chapter 23
MACEY
Maverick didn’t come home. I knew he knew about everything because Lo stopped by to tell me he wanted to come and talk, but the team were going through some stuff and as captain, he needed to be there for them.
It didn’t matter.
Nothing he, or anyone said could fix things.
Devon and I were done.
“Come in,” Miss Tamson’s voice drifted out into the hall and I peeked my head around the door. “Macey, nice to see you.”
“I just wanted to let you know I’ve decided on a college.” I slipped into the room and closed the door behind me.
“I’ve been waiting for you to come and see me. Why don’t you take a seat and we can get started?”
“I’ve decided on Florida State,” I blurted out.
Miss Tamson wrung her hands on her desk and smiled. “I had my suspicions you would.”
Code for she’d heard the gossip. Everyone had. Kids, teachers, even Principal DeLauder had offered me a sympathetic smile when she passed me in the hall yesterday. A week later, and people were still talking about the scandal of our class: Macey Prince and Devon Lions. I’d heard so many versions of the story by now that even I wasn’t sure how it actually went down.
Except when I was alone, without the weight of people’s stares, the noisy whispers, I could remember every second. The permanent ache in my chest a reminder of what I’d lost.
Devon didn’t text or call. After walking away from me that day in my room, he hadn’t so much as looked in my direction. I didn’t blame him. How could I when I’d watched his heart shatter right in front of me? He’d declared his love for me and then I’d trampled all over it.
God, I’d wanted so badly to say the words back. To fall into his arms and tell him I felt the same. Part of me was sure he already knew. How could he not? He must have felt it every time our lips touched. But, in the end, I told him the one thing I knew would kill any hopes he had of salvaging things.
It was better this way.
Devon telling Liam about us, and the chain of events set into motion afterwards, had reminded me that as long as I lived in Wicked Bay, as long as people knew who I was, life would never be simple. Relationships, friendships, even family dynamics. There was too much history; too many secrets and lies, and half-truths. It was better for Devon to hate me now than try to make it work and both end up destroying one another.
“It’s a good school, Macey. I’m sure you’ll do very well there. Are you absolutely sure it’s your final decision?”
“I am.” I choked out the words over the lump in my throat.
My family wasn’t happy about my choice. The devastation in Mom’s eyes as I broke the news over Thanksgiving dinner had almost made me regret my decision. ‘It’s bad enough Maverick didn’t make it home and now this, Macey? I don’t know what to say’, she’d said with tears in her eyes. But I had to do this. It wasn’t about running, it was about finding myself. Giving myself a chance to
experience all the things I’d missed out on because of my name. I realized that now.
“Well, in that case,” Miss Tamson said, “Let’s get the ball rolling.”
We spent the next thirty minutes checking my application and finalizing details. The deadline for admissions was fast approaching, but she assured me we had time. When I finally left her office, I felt lighter. There was still a little over six months until graduation. Six months of being here, seeing him every day. But I could do it.
I just had to go back to being the girl I was before Devon stumbled into my life.
“SO HOW DID IT GO?” Kara asked me at lunch.
“Good. Miss Tamson thinks there’s still time to get my application in.” I pushed the rice around my plate.
“I can’t believe you’ll be moving to Florida. What will I do without you?”
“You’ll be in college with Shaun.” I smirked.
“It’s crazy, right? Tell me it’s crazy?”
“It’s crazy,” I agreed. “But when you know, you know.” My breath caught.
“Oh shit, Mace, I’m sorry. Me and my big mouth, I didn’t—”
“Stop,” I said. “It’s fine. I’m fine, I promise.”
“Are you sure? Because we can stop talking about it.”
“I’m happy for you, Kara. You know that, right? If you and Shaun want to go off to college together and have blond-haired, blue-eyed babies and live happily-ever-after, then who am I to stop you?”
Kara grinned. “It does sound pretty amazing, doesn’t it? But first I have to survive the engagement party. I finally met his mom, and she’s the sweetest; but I still have to meet the rest of his family.”
“It’ll be fine. Besides, I’ll be right there with you.”
“You mean...” Her grin almost split her face. “Thank you! Thank you so much. I didn’t want to ask again because... well, you know. But this means a lot to me, Macey.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
Just because I was painting on a brave face every day didn’t mean I wanted to drag Kara down with me. She was the one thing I had left.