“Bodhi’s still asleep. It’s okay. We’re okay,” she said, catching her breath.
But Camden said nothing as the dim light of the dashboard illuminated his trembling hands and clenched jaw.
“We’re all right, Cam. Let’s just get back to the lodge. We don’t want to miss out on saying goodbye to Abby and Brennen before they leave the reception and head out on their honeymoon,” she said, working to keep her voice calm and even.
He didn’t answer, his gaze trained ahead of them. The road was empty, but she knew what he saw. She could almost see it herself. Three brothers, panicked and shouting. The commotion. The fear.
And then she saw the police officers that had knocked on her door. She’d known before they even uttered one word that Aaron was gone.
“I’ll make sure you and Bodhi are taken care of,” he said in a low, hollow whisper.
She swallowed hard. “I hope you’re not talking about money, Camden Bergen.”
“What else would I be talking about? It’s the only thing of value I can offer you.”
She glanced back at Bodhi then got out of the car. She crossed her arms and stared up at the starry sky. Everything about nighttime in the mountains was comforting. The sound of the wind rustling through the aspen leaves. The dark, magnificent peaks, a humbling reminder that no matter what happened, the sun would rise and set and day in and day out, they would be there. She tried to absorb it, but her hammering pulse and racing thoughts edged out any hope of calm.
The car door closed behind her, and she turned to find Cam standing a few paces away.
She glanced into the car at Bodhi, hugging his bear and sleeping peacefully, then turned to Camden. “Don’t you dare for a second make this about money. I don’t want your money. I want you.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t.”
“Cam, we’re safe. We’re fine. Bodhi’s asleep in the car.”
“Christ! Bodhi!” he said in a pained whisper then met her gaze, his eyes blazing. “Do you know what would have happened to us if I’d hit that elk? That was a mature bull, Cadence. He probably weighed upwards of eight hundred pounds. It would have been like crashing head-on into a brick wall.”
She gestured to the car. “But you didn’t, and we’re all fine. Don’t do this. I’m begging you.”
It was like watching a wrecking ball in slow motion.
“I’m an idiot. I’m a damn idiot,” he murmured.
She took a step toward him. “You’re not. You’re just a little shaken.”
“A little shaken? Would you like to know the only thing that could possibly be worse than me killing my parents?”
She shook her head. “Stop it!”
He scrubbed his hands down his face. “Hurting you. Hurting Bodhi. Jesus! I won’t do it. I can’t risk it.”
The wrecking ball inched closer, but she wasn’t ready to admit defeat.
“You think you’re the only person who lives with regret?” she asked.
He shrugged, sliding back into bobblehead mode, but she pressed on.
“What would have happened if I told Aaron he needed to come with us? What if I told him to forget his work? Forget the packing. Just come with us. Drive back to Grand Junction the next day. Do you think he’d be here? Do you think Bodhi would have his father?”
Another shrug.
She steadied herself. “I don’t know. None of us know. You can’t live like that, Cam. You can’t carry the blame for everything. And you can’t predict the future.”
“I can if I’m not a part of it. You’ll be better off. I’ll tell Jas and Bren. They’ll make sure—”
She blinked back angry tears. “I don’t need your brothers looking after me. And I won’t allow it. I won’t have it. I’m not some charity case, Camden, and I’m not scared to face this world on my own. I just thought I wouldn’t have to. I thought we’d do it together.”
He stared past her. “Keep heading west. This road turns into the service road that runs parallel to the highway. You can get back on the interstate there. You’ll have passed the road work, and then you’ll see the exit for Bergen Mountain.”
“Why are you giving me directions? Where are you going?”
He glanced at the car, and the wrecking ball hit.
“Somewhere where I can’t hurt anyone,” he answered, his tone robotic. And just like the giant elk, he turned and disappeared into the night.
17
Cadence
Cadence opened a tattered box and fanned away a cloud of dust.
“Please don’t tell me it’s another box of doilies,” Abby said, sitting across from her at the kitchen table, sorting through Glenna and Gertrude’s animal figurines.
Cadence wrinkled her nose and peered inside. “Doily box numero tres,” she said and tried to muster a smile.
It had been eight days since Cam left her on that darkened road.
Eight days since the fairy tale life she’d feared was too good to be true vanished into the night.
And no one had heard from him. Not a call. Not one text.
She’d even messaged Mountain Mac, thinking maybe they could go back to how things used to be. But that message went unanswered because there was no going back. There was no undoing what had been done. No pretending promises weren’t made and no forgetting the man who’d told her she was his forever, then disappeared without a trace.
“It’s really nice of you to do this with me—especially the day after coming home from your honeymoon,” she added.
Abby set a miniature squirrel next to a gathering of other glass woodland creatures. “You should have said something the night of the wedding, Cadence. We would have…”
“What? Canceled your honeymoon to Fiji? I wouldn’t hear of it.”
Abby sighed. “You should have told Elle or Jasper or Ray or Harriet. I hate that you had to spend all this time alone with no one to talk to.”
“Camden’s a grown man, Abby. If he wants to leave, he should be able to leave. And I didn’t want to trouble anyone on such a happy day. You’re here now, and I’m grateful for that,” Cadence answered, again trying to find her smile.
After Camden’s departure, she’d arrived back at the lodge amid the newlyweds being carted off to meet their private plane set to whisk them away to an island paradise. It was the perfect amount of chaos and well-wishing that allowed her to bring Bodhi back to their room. No one had thought anything of a mother carrying her tuckered out little boy away from the excitement. No one had asked about Cam, surely assuming he was nearby. On such a joyful occasion, nobody contemplated that the runaway heir had disappeared again.
“I’m glad you’re still wearing your engagement ring,” Abby said with a hopeful glint in her eye. “I’m sure this is going to work itself out.”
Cadence glanced out the window at Bodhi, paintbrush in hand, putting the finishing touches on his cardboard regatta boat before the race that afternoon.
“I’m wearing the ring for Bodhi.”
“And maybe a little bit for yourself, too?” Abby offered, her gaze trained on the figurines.
Cadence shook her head. Cam had left. What chance was there that he’d come back? But the thought that Abby could be right stoked the embers of hope that still burned in her heart.
“No, I’m just not sure what to say to Bodhi or how to say it yet.”
“What does he think?”
“I told him the story Elle came up with that we used for all the articles about his return to Denver.”
“That he’s out in the wilderness testing Bergen gear?” Abby asked, moving on to wipe the dust off a porcelain rabbit.
“Yeah, Elle came up with a great story.”
“Knock, knock! I heard my name, and I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in,” Elle said and entered the kitchen. “By the way, some guy just dropped off a realtor sign. Are you selling one of the houses?”
Abby gasped. “You’re not moving, are you?”
Cadence tried to put on
a brave face. “Not exactly. It’s a coming soon sign. I spoke to a real estate agent a few days ago, and she suggested putting it up to build buzz.”
“Buzz for eventually selling one of the houses?” Elle pressed.
“Actually, I’m going to sell both.”
“Why both?” Abby asked.
Cadence glanced outside at Bodhi, humming the “Chicken Dance” tune and painting away.
She lowered her voice. “Renovating two historic homes was never my dream. Aaron was the one who loved building and tinkering but caring for two houses is a lot of work and not easy on the pocketbook. Even if I were able to rent out the other unit, I’d still have to maintain it. That’s just more than I can handle on my own. It would be best for Bodhi and me to live somewhere easier to manage.”
And somewhere that didn’t pull so strenuously on her heartstrings.
Her friends stared at her, wide-eyed.
“But you’ll stay in Denver?” Abby asked.
Cadence nodded. “Yeah, that’s the plan, for now.”
She’d spent the night Camden left alone in her room at the lodge watching Bodhi sleep and doing the one thing that got her through Aaron’s death.
Making to-do lists.
Finish painting.
Go through Glenna and Gertrude’s things.
Get Elle’s help assessing the value of the antiques.
Find the last set of daisy doorknobs for the laundry room door.
Start fresh. Start over. Refocus. And possibly…relocate.
Elle sat down next to her and pushed an old, dusty box out of the way. “Why would you want to leave the city?”
Cadence swallowed hard. “When Aaron died, Bodhi was just a toddler. He’d asked for his daddy, but as time passed, he stopped asking. He was so young when we lost Aaron, and dad became just a man in a photograph. But now, Bodhi’s six, and six-year-olds remember. He’s going to remember Cam. Cam taught him how to ride a bike. They’ve been working on his regatta boat every night this summer. He’s become a part of our lives. And after Cam proposed, Bodhi asked me if he could call Camden his dad after we were married.”
Elle reached across the table and squeezed her hand and Cadence blinked back tears.
“There’s only one door that’s missing the daisy doorknobs. I told myself that as soon as I found the last set, that would be the sign that it was time to move on. Time to officially put the houses up for sale and see what new path the universe has in store for me and Bodhi.”
“Oh, Cadence,” Abby whispered and pressed her hand to her heart.
Cadence steadied herself. “But there’s one thing I know for sure. After Bodhi learns Cam’s gone—really gone—it’s going to hurt him. I think a fresh start somewhere new could help ease the pain of that loss.”
Elle crossed her arms and rested them on her pregnant belly. “Jesus! I should have kicked Camden in the balls when I had the chance.”
“Are you guys going to play kickball?”
Cadence glanced over to see Bodhi, standing just outside the propped-open back door, holding a paintbrush dripping blue dots on the daisies.
“No, B, we were just talking.”
Bodhi peeked into the kitchen.
“Hi, Mrs. Bergens!” he said to her friends with a bright grin. “Is Cam with you guys?”
Elle glanced at her cousin, who’d grown quiet.
“No, honey, he’s not,” Elle answered.
“How long until the regatta, Mom?” Bodhi asked.
“Five hours, B. You have plenty of time to keep working on your boat.”
Her sweet boy wiped his cheek and left a smear of blue paint under his eye. “I painted my name and Cam’s name on the inside of the boat since he’s going to be my co-captain,” he added, a smile stretched across his face.
She exhaled a slow breath. “Remember, honey, Cam’s busy working.”
“He’ll be back. Don’t worry, Mom,” Bodhi said over his shoulder as he returned to his cardboard boat and her heart splintered into a million pieces.
She hated that she wanted her son to be right. Hated that she longed to see Cam. And hated that in five hours, she’d not only be trying to hold together the pieces of her broken heart but those of her son’s, too.
With Bodhi back attending to his boat, no one said a word. Even the vivacious and always loquacious Elle Reynolds-Bergen remained silent.
Cadence pressed her fingertips to her eyelids, needing a moment to pack away the tears she’d cry if she were alone when Abby’s phone buzzed and cut through the heavy silence.
“Excuse me,” she said, glancing at her cell. “It’s Bren. I better take this.”
Abby left the kitchen, and Elle opened one of the old boxes.
“I’m going to say one thing about the Bergen brothers, and then we don’t have to speak of them anymore today,” Elle said, brushing at a seam of dust on the box.
Cadence nodded. If she tried to speak, if she tried to do anything other than sit there, she’d fall apart.
And just like with Aaron’s death, she couldn’t fall apart. With a young son and two mortgages to pay, she didn’t have that luxury.
Elle picked at the corner of the box. “I can tell you from experience, those men can really screw things up spectacularly. But as much as I still want to kick Camden in the balls, he may still surprise you.”
“It’s been over a week, Elle. The regatta’s today. The countdown’s almost hit zero,” she answered.
“All right, then,” her friend said with a resolute nod. “Why don’t we start going through these and see if we can find Amelia Earhart’s hair comb or one of Moby Dick’s teeth.”
Cadence released a teary chuckle, grateful her friend understood how badly she needed this distraction. “I’m not so sure Glenna and Gertrude were friendly with Amelia, and we’re pretty landlocked here in Colorado. I’d be surprised to find anything related to a sperm whale, fictional or not, in these houses.”
“Oh my!” Elle said, peering inside the box. “It looks like Glenna and Gertrude skipped the sperm altogether.”
Cadence knocked over a stack of doilies. “What in the world would make you say that?”
“Because they’ve got a Dr. Macaura’s Pulsocon Blood Circulator,” Elle answered as she removed a tattered rectangular box a little smaller than a carton of eggs.
Cadence leaned in and tried to make out the faded image on the lid. “Blood circulator? Is it some old-fashioned medical device?”
A wry grin pulled at the corners of her friend’s lips. “That’s what upstanding young ladies of a certain era would hope you thought it was,” she answered, opening the box and removing a small metal device.
Whatever the heck a pulsocon was, it fit neatly in Elle’s hand. It looked like a cross between a pencil sharpener and an eggbeater with a delicate, polished wood handle connected to a small metal body which was equipped with a little hand crank and a peculiar flat disk, barely larger than a quarter, fixed to the bottom.
“How does it work?”
Elle pinned her with her gaze. “Put out your hand.”
Cadence raised an eyebrow.
“It won’t hurt. I promise.”
“All right.” Cadence held out her hand as Elle pressed the disc to her palm and rotated the crank.
A sharp buzz pulsed through her hand, and she gasped. “It’s…”
“Vibrating!” Elle answered with a naughty grin.
Cadence’s jaw dropped. “It’s a vibrator?”
“Oh yes! It’s an old school hand crank vibrator. They were around in the twenties and thirties. A blood circulator is what they used to call them.”
Cadence stared at the device. “How in the world do you know that?”
Talking antique vibrators was the last thing she’d imagined doing this morning, but it was just what she needed.
Elle held up the pulsocon. “There’s a vibrator museum in San Francisco. I wrote about it in my California Coast travel guide.”
“What di
d you write? ‘When in San Francisco, in between visiting the Golden Gate Bridge and riding the cable cars, go check out a dildo museum?’”
“Something like that,” Elle answered, glancing into the large box then stilled.
“What?”
“There’s another one.”
“I guess that makes sense. Glenna and Gertrude were twins, and from what I’ve heard from the neighbors, they did like to have all the same things.”
Elle handed her the second box then turned the crank on her pulsocon like a mad scientist. “Even in the realm of masturbation, the sisters were identical.”
Cadence sighed through a chuckle. It felt good to laugh.
“Well, help me out, world travel expert. Are these hand-crank dildos worth a lot?”
Elle shook her head, apologetically. “I don’t think so. These vibrators are collectors’ items, but I doubt they’ll be paying off your mortgage.”
Abby entered the kitchen, eyeing them warily. “What’s going on in here?”
“While you were gabbing with your husband, we found matching antique vibrators,” Elle answered.
They turned the crank on their pulsocon at the same time, and Abby reared back.
“Have you guys been touching those things?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, the vibration is pretty amazing. Want to try it?” Elle asked, holding out the device.
Abby waved her off. “If those are what you say they are, I’m hoping you wiped them down first. It’s probably been years, but just imagine where they’ve been.”
Cadence exchanged a glance with Elle, and the women dropped the antique vibrators back into their respective boxes.
Elle’s eyes went wide. “Ew! I didn’t even think…”
“I didn’t either,” Cadence replied, holding her hands away from her body.
Elle pulled a travel size bottle of hand sanitizer from her purse, squirted some into her hand then handed her the bottle.
“So, how’s Brennen?” Elle asked, adding another dollop of sanitizer to her palm.
Abby looked away and blushed. “Oh, he’s fine.”
“Can’t go a day without you?” Elle pressed.
Man Find (Bergen Brothers Book 3) Page 23