Amati repeated the gesture, kissing her daughter on the head, then hid the baby beneath the folds of her cloak, and rushed out the door.
For a moment, Faba stared after her mother, then she screamed. A keening wail of loss and pain.
An older woman dashed into the room. The midwife tutted as she examined Faba. “Should have been called sooner. You almost don’t need my help at this point, do you? I can see the babe’s head.”
The door slammed open and Jael barged in. The look of hate Faba leveled at him made him take a step back, then he stared impassively at her and remained.
Knowing what happened now, he saw the look as despair rather than abhorrence. Seeing all that Faba had gone through alone, she deserved to voice every complaint she’d ever made to him. About him.
Maescia, always opinionated, announced her displeasure at the whole process of being born with aggrieved howls.
The midwife wrapped the baby in soft cloth, handed her to Jael and attended to Faba.
Jael remembered this second perfectly. The moment everything else in the world became secondary.
“She’s got strong lungs.” Jael held the small bundle in his hands, terrified of dropping her.
Faba glared at Jael and held out her arms. “Her name will be Maescia.”
JAEL TURNED SIDEWAYS on the rocks to face Faba. “I never told you, but you were right. Maescia was powerful.” The loss of her so recently stung, but not as sharply as it should.
“She still is.” Faba stared at their linked fingers, then pulled away from him. “Maescia also means sacrifice. I hoped in the time we had after she was born, things would change and Mother would see something different for us. But that never happened or she would have returned. Every premonition she had was always worse up until the births, and she was right. She kept our other child safe. I became a Dream Walker the day I died, and have guided our descendants. Kept them far away from mages and magic. Because of our sacrifices then, parts of us live on now.”
“What happened that day? I found two skulls when our house burned in mage fire. One larger, one smaller, and both medallions.”
“Another girl ran into the house with Maescia when the attack started. I couldn’t protect them. The cord on her necklace broke when Maescia tried to get away.”
“Where?” With Maescia gone, they were the only connection Jael had left. “Where is our family?”
“If I tell you, will you stay away from them? You’re still caught up in a world of mages. I’ve worked too hard to keep our family free to have those evil men follow you to them.”
His first instinct was to snap at her. Start the familiar pattern of blame and arguments they’d always had between them. Could he stay away, though? The knowledge would eat at him. He’d have to see they were safe and protected. But he was the danger.
“A compromise? I know that would be a new experience for us.” Faba sat up. “I’ll show you their dreams for now. There are a lot of them to catch up on after all this time. And when you can promise me it’s safe, I’ll tell you where to find them.”
Jael nodded. “That is more than fair. I never intended to put you or Maescia in danger. I shouldn’t have left you that day.”
“I shouldn’t have said we’d die if you left us. I thought if you wouldn’t stay for me, you might for Maescia. But you would have died, had you been there.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I’m only here to reconcile what happened between us. There's someone else who wants to speak with you now.”
Faba changed shape, becoming smaller. Same light eyes but darker hair.
Maescia. She threw herself into his arms. She felt so real. He buried his face in her hair.
“Habu, Abu.”
Even if he lived another three thousand years, he would never tire of hearing those words. “Habu, Hibu.”
“I haven’t been a little one for a long time.”
“You’re still smaller than me, though.”
She narrowed her eyes and tilted her chin up, just like Faba.
Jael let himself smile this time. “I’m happy to see you.”
“None of what happened to me was your fault.”
“I’m your father. I should have been there to protect you.”
“If you were there, I wouldn’t have been able to protect you for the last three thousand years. Look, Abu.”
JAEL SLAMMED THE SADDLE back on its stand and turned to face his wife. Why couldn’t she listen, just once? But there was something in Faba’s eyes. He expected to see the usual disdain and indifference, but this time, there was desperation. Could he take the chance Maescia would be killed? Father was going, and some of the other men. Jael wasn’t needed to play politics.
“All right. We’ll leave. Go home and pack whatever you can fit in two bags. This is the only horse, so we only take what he can carry.”
His words took a few seconds to sink in, and Faba stared at him. She gave him what may have been the first genuine smile since they’d been married and threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you, Jael.” She even forgot to lift the hem of her dress, trailing it through the dirt as she ran out of the stable.
Where would they go? To the Magi in Rhagae? They would know what to do. It wouldn’t be easy. Several days journey if they went quickly. With Maescia, they wouldn’t be able to travel at speed for long distances. It was a start. Jael went to buy food and supplies for their trip and led the horse through the narrow streets to his house.
The invaders arrived with screams and white fire so hot it melted bricks. One stabbed the horse with a spear. As the animal died, it flailed, and a hoof caught the soldier in the head. He collapsed, and Jael scooped up the man’s sword. It felt strange in his hand,but he held on to it and rushed into his house. When an attacker pushed in the door, Jael cut him down with more luck than skill. Two more followed, and while Jael slashed at one, the second ran him through with a spear.
Jael screamed, staring down at the spear point jutting from his stomach as he fell. He could do nothing as a man with white hair and eyes tore Maescia from Faba’s arms and set the house ablaze.
The vision changed.
The life of a small girl with blonde hair who survived the destruction of their village played out as she grew into a teenager, but fell ill and wasted away, her lungs never the same after inhaling the smoke from white fires.
The vision reset.
Jael, Faba, and Maescia fled before the attack began. They lived on the run, but pale men found them. Not Ubus’ men — another mage. Jael and Faba murdered, Maescia stolen. Without a Djinn to hide her, his daughter lived a tortured existence until the Wolf Mage handed her over to shape shifting wolves and she found a way to jump from a cliff.
“STOP. I CAN’T WATCH anymore. Please, Maescia.”
“We didn’t have any good choices, Abu. Everything worked out for the best. What happened then made us what we are. One day, we will end the mages and I will be reborn. Now go back to Viktoria. She’s waiting for you.”
When he woke, the pain was gone, but guilt hit him like a tsunami. The pain, such a large part of him for so long, left an emptiness in its wake.
CHAPTER SIXTY EIGHT
VIKTORIA
VIKTORIA LAID BACK, resting her head on Surma’s furry side as she stared at the dancing Soul Paths overhead.
In a shimmer of silver, Soră appeared, mimicking Viktoria’s posture. Surma woofed, quietly for him, setting the silver girl to giggling when he swiped her with his slobbery tongue.
“Hello, Soră. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“I had to visit. Soră-Soră is sad and Ember isn’t back from Ashana yet. You’re not happy, either. All the changed ones are doing everything all wrong!” Soră sat up and blinked. “Well, not Stryx. I never thought he would be the only changed one making a strygoi happy.”
From the little Viktoria had seen, that did seem odd. But if what Ember and Stryx had worked for them, who was she to judge?
“So, will you co
me with me?” Soră held out her hands.
“I’m not sure I should leave Jael alone here. He’s been through a lot. I don’t want him to think I abandoned him in Tuonela.”
“When he wakes, I’ll bring you right back.”
Viktoria nodded. “Then, of course, I’ll come. I left some treats Musette might appreciate in Ciaran’s fridge. They’re a few days old now, but it sounds like a chocolate emergency.”
“I’ll make one of the changed ones bring them to Selene. She can make them go to Dragă space.”
Soră interlinked her small fingers with Viktoria’s and the Underworld vanished, replaced by a room of beige. The walls, ceiling, and floor all lacked color, and the only furniture in the room was a window seat where Musette stared into rain.
This was indeed a chocolate emergency. “Darling, dreary is not a good look for you.”
Musette picked her head up from her knees, red-rimmed, glassy eyes stared blankly, then she threw herself into Viktoria’s arms.
“Viktoria! How are you here?”
“Soră brought me. She thought we could use some mutual cheering up.” Viktoria glanced around. This room was so not Musette. Still not a single non-neutral color in sight. “Clearly she was correct.” She held out the box tied with ribbons that appeared in her hands.
Musette stared at the parcel. “What’s that?”
“Chocolate treats for my favorite sweet-toothed olla pullahiiri. I had the caterer set aside some of each dessert for you at the gallery show. Seems like a good time for them.”
“Nicole made these?” The room around them changed, becoming the more familiar gold-tiled kitchen with black appliances. A sliding glass door in one wall showed the snow-covered backyard, and Christmas lights glowed on a tree in the living room.
Viktoria pulled out one of six chairs around the light-coloured wooden rectangular dining room table. “Some of them. She’s hired a new woman, Leilani, to make the baked treats.” She lifted a shoulder. “I’m not sure how these will measure up.”
Musette took the seat next to Viktoria, opened the box, and inhaled the delicious scents of chocolate and solace. “I love Gingerbread Head, but you are soooo much better at this than Ember.”
Viktoria laughed. “That’s not a very high bar in things like this. She’s not returned from Ashana?”
“Not yet. Norrix met his Dragă there. Soră wants me to help, but what do I know?” Selecting a chocolate muffin, Musette took a giant bite. “This is so yummy,” she murmured through her mouthful of dessert. “I know it’s Gingerbread House Day, but this is exactly what I needed.”
Viktoria nodded as she chewed a smaller bite of cookie. “I agree. I love Nicole’s candies, but there is something special about these bakery goods. Leilani has a gift. Now, tell me. What happened that has driven you to this chocolate extreme?”
“I wanted to feel normal. We were... Idris and I... we thought it would be okay because we were only in a dream. No magic or blood. I wanted him to bite me.”
Viktoria nodded. “He’s a vampire. That’s normal.”
“But when he tried to do it, I screamed and shoved him away.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, of course not. He wouldn’t. I know that. I don’t know what happened. The second his fangs touched me, I freaked out. I don’t know why. Everything up to that point was perfect.”
How much should Viktoria say? Musette was dealing with some sort of trauma. Maybe bringing it up would make things worse. “So it was the fangs? I know you don’t remember what happened when you and Ember were separated, but... maybe subconsciously, your body remembers? It was a traumatic experience. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time to deal with it. Idris will understand.”
The picture of absolute misery, Musette shook her head. “He left me.”
Viktoria took Musette’s hands. “No. I’m sure he didn’t. I’ve seen him with you. He’s the definition of utterly devoted.”
“That was before he knew I can’t let him bite me. I’m a defective Dragă! I can’t make his heart beat, or let him see colors. I don’t even have a smell! If I can’t offer him anything, why should he stay with me?”
“When he came back, what did he say?”
“He hasn’t come back.”
That wasn’t good. “He will. Vampires don’t make things easy, but they love us.” At least, they're supposed to love us.
Musette stared at the table. “Idris talked to another woman on the phone and he just... left.”
“Who did he talk to?”
Musette shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. And, if that wasn’t enough, then this other woman showed up. She said she was a Dream Walker, and she hates vampires. Said I should run from them when I woke up. That they’d take my will and make me wish for death.”
“For most vampires, that’s probably true. But even my mother says these vampires are different.”
“Then why are you depressed?”
Viktoria sighed. “Lurky and I bonded. It’s not like I thought it would be, though. He left me in a way, too. I can’t reach him, but I feel him suffering. Asim did something to his memories, and whatever it was is making him push me away. I should have done more than blind that mage.” It figured that all she’d ever wanted was to be loved, and the vampire who was supposed to be the love of her life wanted nothing to do with her.
Musette pulled the pastry box closer and picked several pieces of Nicole's chocolate candy, nibbling on one in tiny bites.
“Goldilocks!” Ember rushed into the kitchen from her bedroom down the hallway. “You'll never guess what — What are you eating? Is that...” She skidded to a stop and peered into the box, then snatched her twin’s fingers and forced them open. “Is that plain chocolate?” Black crow wings burst from Ember’s back and her sword appeared in her hand. “I’ll kill him!”
A giggle escaped Musette’s lips. “You know, before you became War I wasn’t sure if you meant it when you said things like that. Now I think you’d do it.”
“I would! I’ll rip him to pieces for hurting you. I told him I would. He said he wouldn’t fight me.”
Soră appeared in a silver flash and accepted hugs from everyone. “Jael will wake up soon.”
“I left him with Surma. I’d better get back before he wakes up and finds himself facing a horse-sized dog with a snake tail.”
Musette squeezed Viktoria’s hands. “I’m okay. Go see your vampire. I’ve got chocolate.”
Soră held her arms out to be picked up. “We just have to get some snow first. I promised my friend I would bring some snow from Pohjola. Is that okay?”
Viktoria laughed. “Of course. There’s no shortage of snow there. Mother won’t miss a little.”
“What name do you call me?” Lurky’s voice was hoarse when he roused a few hours later. His eyes were wary, but clear of the confusion she’d seen in them when he’d awakened before.
She offered him a small, tentative smile. “I call you Lurky. Do you want me to call you something else now?” She was his Dragă, but was there a special term for Dragăs to call their vampires. If not, there should be. It was only fair.
“Just don’t call me Jael. I need you to call me Lurky for a while longer, so I know what’s real. Where are we?”
“In Tuonela, the underworld. This is a special place that takes pain and buries it deep so it’s never felt again. Do you feel better?”
“I feel... different. Like part of me is gone. Was...” He licked his lips and shifted on the rocks. “Was there a white world?”
“Yes. Pohjola. My home.”
Jael squinted at Surma. “Is that... dog wearing three socks and a scarf? And is that a snake?”
Sura woofed and wagged his snake tail.
“Yes, that’s Surma. He’s real.”
“What happened? Do you know? I went to find you at the apartment building, then everything gets confused.”
“The mage ambushed you, and his spiders bit you. Their venom did the sam
e sort of thing to you as they did to Musette and separated you from yourself. We brought you to Pohjola and Memory and our mother were able to help you since no poisoned magic was involved. I didn’t realize they would hurt you so much while they were helping you. Memory can take your memories, if you don’t want them. I... I told her not to. I thought you’d want to keep them. The real ones.”
“I do want to keep them. They... They’re about my family. It’s just... it was a little overwhelming.” He patted his chest, then his hands flew to his shoulders. “My swords?”
Viktoria swallowed. “They were —”
He held up a hand. “No, don’t. I think I remember that part.”
“But you didn’t lose —”
“My life?” Jael laughed, but it was a bitter, scornful sound and loathing filtered through the tight control he had over the bond on his side. He got to his feet and paced. “No, I will always have my life, it seems. Whether I want it or not.”
“No, I saved —”
Jael whirled on her. “Stop!”
Hatred and revulsion washed over her in waves. Viktoria bit her lip and shoved down the misery she felt. Why couldn’t he feel what was between them like she did? If she could feel what he felt, couldn’t he feel what she did? Maybe he did, and now he didn’t want her. That would be the ultimate irony — live for six thousand years looking for love, only to find it, sacrifice everything, and have him hate her for it. She’d fought so hard, earned the right to be free from Pohjola, then bound herself to a man forever, and he didn’t want her.
“We only took your pain away. You have to decide what will make you happy. I’ll take you back to Port Storm.”
Jael snorted. “The mage?”
“I blinded him with shadows and left him tied up. I wasn’t sure how they work their magic, but I thought if he couldn’t see what he was doing that might stop him. I called Idris to take him away. He's probably in your dungeon.”
More emotions roiled through the bond. Anger. Frustration. Disgust.
Viktoria's Shadow: Jael Page 34