by Sophie Love
She scrolled through all the apartments, looking for one to rent within her price range. Most of them looked a little worse for wear, but she liked DIY and didn’t mind having a fixer-upper. She just wanted something that was her own, somewhere she could call home after spending weeks on end in hotel rooms.
At last, an apartment caught her eye. A one-bed, one-bath condo farther west from Manhattan than she usually went. From the photos it looked like it had been a sad divorcé’s downsizer, but Keira could see past the drab, unloved decor. The windows were huge, the ceilings high. Without the graying carpet it would look even more spacious. The building had laundry facilities in the basement, and it was less than a mile from a subway station.
It felt like fate.
Keira grabbed her phone and punched in the agent’s number. After a few rings, a croaky voice answered, an older woman with a decades-developed smoker’s rasp.
“I’m inquiring about the apartment on your website,” she said, explaining which specific one she was interested in.
“Oh yeah, that one’s a beaut,” the woman replied. “Great location. How tall are you?”
Keira was taken aback by the question. “Why?”
“’Cause the last two guys I showed it to were the size of basketball players and wanted more space. Waste of everyone’s time. And time is money, kiddo. So? How tall?”
“Five two,” Keira said.
“Perfect,” the woman rasped. “When d’ya wanna look?”
Keira thought of her job, of the long hours she often had to work at Viatorum. “A weekend would be better.”
“Whatcha doin’ today?” came the woman’s response. “I had a cancellation so could fit you in.”
“Today?” Keira repeated, surprised. It wasn’t like she had anything else to do. “Okay, yes. Today is fine!”
They made the necessary arrangements and Keira hung up the call, feeling a little dazed from the speed with which it had all happened. It really did feel like fate.
*
Keira left the subway, finding herself in an unfamiliar but rather pleasant part of New York. It was one of the things about the city she loved so much, how it changed, evolved, and developed so constantly it was always reinventing itself. Not that long ago this area must have been a bit rundown and the public hadn’t yet caught on, because there was no way she’d be able to afford to rent a place here otherwise!
She hurried along the sidewalk, scanning the door numbers as she went, searching for the correct building. As she drew closer to the correct number, she noticed a woman standing ahead in a fuchsia pink two-piece and matching heels, smoking a cigarette. That must be the real estate agent she spoke to on the phone.
The woman turned, presumably at the sound of Keira’s footsteps, and threw her cigarette to the ground. She put it out with the toe of her shoe and headed toward the door, gesturing for Keira to follow her, blowing smoke from the side of her lips as she went.
“Let’s get inside,” she called out when Keira was still a few paces away. “I’m freezing my butt off out here.”
Keira blinked in surprise at how rapidly things continued to move. Without even introductions, she followed the woman inside the apartment building.
Inside, it was as dingy as Keira had expected, but the staircase was in one piece and the elevator smelled fine. They went up to the thirteenth floor and Keira was pleased to see there was no graffiti anywhere in the corridor they emerged into.
The real estate agent put a key in the lock of a plain white door and then pushed it open.
The smell of dust wafted out. It smelled like the condo hadn’t been vacuumed for years. They stepped inside.
“The landlord lived here for a bit before moving to another place and renting this out. He’s a bachelor,” the agent said, wiping her fingers across the balustrade and picking up dust. “You can probably tell.”
But Keira didn’t care about the layer of dust. She didn’t even care about how much smaller the apartment was in real life compared to the pictures, or how the wallpaper was covered in smudgy handprints. She could see past all of that. The condo to her meant freedom, independence, the beginning of her life. A reboot. An anchor.
“I love it!” she cried, clapping her hands.
The agent didn’t seem moved by her gushing. “Good,” she said simply. “Bedroom’s through there. That’s the reason it’s cheap. Not enough room for a proper double, just one of those European-sized ones. But you’re short so you’ll fit fine.”
Keira peered into the bedroom. It was indeed little more than a closet. But what else did she need from a bedroom than a place to sleep? It wasn’t like she had a partner to share her bed with, it would just be her. Her and maybe a cat…
“Looks big enough for me,” she said. “I don’t actually own a bed so it will just be a case of getting something that fits.”
The real estate agent nodded in her characteristic lackluster way. “Great. Wanna rent it?”
Keira needed a moment to think. This was happening too fast. She ducked back out of the bedroom into the living area and walked over to the large windows, looking out at the view. She could see Central Park from here.
Suddenly she could imagine herself sitting by this window, gazing out at the streets, drinking coffee, writing. It was like her own Paris hotel window. Perfect for her. She didn’t need anything fancy, not when she was abroad for work so often. She just needed somewhere to call her own. A fresh start.
She swirled to face the fuchsia-clad real estate agent. “Yes. I’ll take it.”
CHAPTER THREE
Mallory leaned across the table and filled Keira’s now empty glass with more rosé. Keira grimaced. She didn’t care for the sickly sweet pink wine her mother favored, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. When it came to Mallory Swanson, refusal was futile.
Bryn caught Keira’s eye from across the table and smirked. She hated the pink wine just as much as Keira did. At least it provided them with a private joke they could share.
“So Keira,” Mallory said, addressing her youngest daughter.
Keira broke her gaze from Bryn to regard Mallory. She could tell by the way her mother’s eyes were slightly narrowed, and the way her wine glass was askew in her hands, that she was slightly tipsy. Which meant that she was about to ask something very personal, as was her way when she’d had a glass or two.
Keira braced herself. “Yes, Mother?”
“Have you heard from Cristiano?”
There it was. The gut punch.
Before Keira had a chance to even groan, Mallory flinched and flashed angry eyes at Bryn.
“Don’t kick me, young lady!” she exclaimed. “If I don’t ask she doesn’t tell. How else am I supposed to know what’s going on in my daughter’s life? One minute he was Mr. Right and then he was Mr. Gone. I want to know what happened.”
Petulance was another one of Mallory’s tipsy habits.
Keira sighed. “It’s okay. It’s about time I talked about what happened.” She put her wine glass down. At least if she was the one commanding the conversation she’d have an excuse not to drink any more rosé. “I haven’t heard from him since I broke it off. I really thought we’d be friends. It felt like a mature separation, you know? Like we could both tell it wasn’t right. But then he disappeared off the face of the earth. No communication whatsoever. I mean, am I an idiot for ever thinking you can be friends with an ex? The same thing happened with Shane.”
“Oh, darling, I’m not the one to ask,” Mallory replied. “You know too well how disastrous my love life has been.”
If Keira had a bingo card for things her mom discussed when she was drinking, she’d probably have ticked all the boxes by now. Career. Tick. Painful broken heart. Tick. And now, the real kicker: Dad.
Keira knew the story all too well, but that didn’t stop Mallory from bringing it up constantly. He was her one true love, they were young but thought it would work, he couldn’t handle the responsibility of children,
he’d left her destitute in a big city with two young kids. Though she’d never met her dad, Keira was absolutely certain his absence played a role in her own inability to sustain a happy relationship. And he was definitely the reason Bryn was setting up house with an old man.
Mallory waved her glass in front of her face, sloshing some pink liquid onto the table in front of her. “I will say this though. Broken hearts, like broken bones, are stronger once they’re repaired.”
Keira quirked an eyebrow. That was actually quite insightful coming from Mallory.
“Who are you quoting that from, Mom?” Bryn piped up. “Oprah Winfrey?”
“I don’t remember who,” Mallory snapped. “It might have been in a fortune cookie. It doesn’t matter. The point is, you will get over this and you will learn something and you will heal and your heart will go on.”
“Ooh, I know that one. That one’s Celine Dion,” Bryn said.
Mallory frowned at her. “Will you stop with your jokes, Bryn! I’m trying to make Keira feel better.”
“You are, Mom,” Keira said meaningfully, speaking for the first time in ages. “You’re actually helping a ton. Bryn is too, in her own way.” She smiled at her sister. Bryn had put up with a lot from Keira over the last few weeks, from her moping around all day in unwashed clothes to her short temper. Now felt like a good time to let them know about what had happened with the real estate agent earlier that day. “Actually, I have a bit of news. Good news.”
“Oh?” they both asked in unison.
Keira felt suddenly shy. Renting a condo was such a big step for her, for all of them really. It would mark her transition, finally, from young adult to woman. For Mallory, it would be the end of her constant worry about her youngest getting along in the world. For Bryn, it would mean the return of her own independence, the lessening of responsibility, the lightening of the burden she’d always had to carry as the older of the two sisters.
“I’ve put a deposit down to rent my own apartment.”
There was a moment of stunned silence. Then Bryn began to whoop. Mallory broke into a wide grin.
“Darling, have you really?” she asked.
Keira smiled shyly and nodded. “Yup.”
Bryn was out of her seat suddenly. She came up around Keira and threw her arms about. “Oh THANK GOD!” she cried.
Keira laughed in her tight embrace. “Okay, okay, I know I’ve been a pain, but really!”
Bryn released her grip a little. “It’s not that you’ve been a pain,” she said. “It’s just that Felix… well, he asked me to get a place with him. I’ve been dragging my feet…”
“I knew it!” Keira exclaimed.
From the other side of the table, Mallory began to cry. “My two girls, growing up so fast.”
Of course, the last box on the bingo board could now be ticked. Cry!
*
Keira headed out into the cold evening, pulling her coat about her. The dinner with her mom and Bryn had been rejuvenating. She’d enjoyed it far more than she’d expected.
Bryn had headed off to Felix’s for the night, so Keira would have the apartment to herself. She was tired, though, and felt like going straight to bed. She’d be back in the office tomorrow and wanted to be fresh for it. She’d been a grump for the last few weeks. Hopefully her positive attitude would carry over until tomorrow.
The subway sign appeared up ahead. As she headed toward it, Keira felt a vibration in her pocket. Her cell phone. She reached inside and took it out.
To her surprise, this time it was a text from Cristiano. Her heart seemed to stop beating as she opened it up.
Whoever this is, leave Cristiano alone. He’s moved on.
Keira stared at the message, blinking in shock. It wasn’t from Cristiano at all, but from someone using his phone. A new girlfriend?
Her stomach sank. All the good work that had been done that evening seemed to suddenly unravel and spool inside of her. How could he have moved on so quickly? After all those conversations they’d had about him only wanting to date women he could imagine marrying. How many were there for him to have found a new one in such a short space of time! Being marriage material in Cristiano’s eyes clearly didn’t mean that much after all. Had Keira been duped?
She thrust her phone back into her purse. Fuming, she hurried down the subway steps and on to the waiting train. She slumped into a seat and gazed at the blackness out the window.
Her mind raced a mile a minute, picking apart all the times they’d spent together, searching for new meaning, new clues in the moments they were together.
But the more she thought, the more her anger lessened. Instead of holding on to the worst possible scenario her mind could conjure—that Cristiano had lied to her about being careful with his heart—she managed to talk herself down to a place of reason. Sometimes the rebound relationship was the best relationship. He’d been her rebound from Shane and the time they’d spent together had been wonderful. Perhaps this new woman was just his rebound rather than his next wife. Perhaps he’d learned that from Keira, that sometimes it was okay to be with a person just because you wanted to, rather than always having some grand plan in place.
She remembered Mallory’s words, about each relationship being an opportunity to learn and grow, to move onward and upward. Cristiano might indeed be going through the same thing. And Keira could feel, tangibly, that she was as well. Rather than holding on to her fury, to her bruised ego, it had only taken her the subway ride to start to let it go.
She got off the train and headed back up to street level, exiting the subway a wiser woman than she’d been when she entered. When she’d gotten on the train she was upset but as she left, she was relieved. This was the real line in the sand with her Cristiano. This was the real ending. It was time to move on, once and for all.
CHAPTER FOUR
Keira wrapped her knuckles against Elliot’s office door. It was open, but she still felt the need to be polite.
“Morning, Keira,” he said, turning over his shoulder to look at her. “Come in, come in.”
Keira entered, taking a seat opposite him. She always felt intimidated by Elliot’s office, like she was a school kid facing the principal.
“Everything okay?” he asked, tipping his gaze up to meet hers.
Keira swallowed the little lump of nerves that always formed in her throat when speaking to her boss. “Yes. I wanted to apologize, actually.”
“For what?” Elliot replied, frowning.
“For the last few weeks since I got back from France. I haven’t been my best.” Now that she’d begun speaking, she wanted to get it all out, and her words spilled off her tongue quickly. “And I know I’ve been avoiding picking a location for the new assignment, I think I just needed time after Cristiano. I was worried, you know? Another assignment, another broken heart. But I should have just been honest rather than avoiding the topic, so I’m sorry.” She took a deep breath, then smiled, feeling satisfied to have finally aired her worries.
“Oh,” Elliot replied, a bit blankly. “To be honest, I hadn’t noticed.”
Keira frowned. “You hadn’t? But you’ve emailed me pretty much every day asking where I wanted to go on my next assignment.”
Elliot shrugged. “I send a lot of emails, Keira. Look, I’m writing one to you as we speak. Guess I don’t need to now.” He clicked some buttons and then folded his arms and looked at her.
There was a long pause. Keira blinked. “Well, what was in the email?”
“Oh yes,” Elliot said, snapping back to attention. “It was about your new assignment abroad.”
“My…” Keira let that sink in. She narrowed her eyes. “You mean you’ve decided where it is?”
They were supposed to consult her! That was the agreement they’d come to, that she’d pick her own locations from now on. Elliot had agreed to it. How could they go back on that now?
“Well, I asked for your input,” Elliot replied simply. “And I didn’t get it so I asked Heathe
r to go ahead and book something anyway. This is a fast-paced environment, Keira. If people don’t get back to me, I’m not going to sit around waiting forever.”
He sounded completely emotionless. But Keira felt totally betrayed. Not only did they exploit her heart for entertainment, but now they were going back on their word? Frustration boiled inside of her.
“Where are you sending me?” she asked in a clipped voice.
Elliot looked at his watch. “I’ll tell you in the team meeting.” Then he clapped his hands. “Come on.”
Keira’s head spun from her talk with Elliot. It hadn’t gone how she’d expected at all. She watched Elliot waltz from the room, her mind reeling. Had he forgotten their arrangement or did he just not care? And what about Nina? She, at the very least, should have known not to plow ahead without Keira’s consent! She was supposed to be Keira’s friend, be on her side, but as she progressed through the Viatorum ranks she’d started siding more and more with Elliot.
Dazed, Keira stood and followed Elliot from the room, into the adjoining conference room. Other writers had started to file in, coffees in hand, and take seats. Keira realized that there were yet more new faces among them. She’d been so cloistered in her own office for the last few weeks she hadn’t even noticed or bothered to speak to any of them. She felt guilty about that now. It wasn’t that long ago that she was a brand new writer here, desperate for assurance and friendship. She resolved to try harder.
“How’s everyone doing today?” she asked a group of newbies, directing her question at a young woman with long braided hair and a septum ring.