by Sophie Love
Keira raised an eyebrow. “That’s a very bold starting line.”
“I don’t like to waste time,” he replied.
“Me neither,” Keira replied. “So I may as well tell you now I’m not interested. I’m here with some girlfriends. I’m not looking for a man.”
“Fair enough,” he replied, letting go of her arm. He turned to the side to where Anita was dancing beside her. Keira watched on, stunned, as he touched her arm and said the exact same thing to her. Only this time it worked, and Anita giggled before allowing herself to be pulled into a dance with the man.
When Keira turned back to the main group, she noticed that all the girls were looking about them with confusion. She realized Emma wasn’t there.
“Did she go to the bar?” Keira asked.
Steph shook her head. “No. She got a phone call and then just ran away.”
Keira immediately thought of the male friend she’d sent to spy on her fiancé. Had the call she’d been dreading come in?
“We should find her,” Nala added.
“What about Anita?” Steph asked.
“I think she’s fine,” Unice said, laughing, casting her eyes over at Anita in the embrace of the man, swaying together to the music.
Just then, Keira noticed a figure on the gold staircase, hurrying up with a phone in one hand. It was Emma.
“There she is!” Keira called out.
The rest of the group headed away, weaving through the crowds toward the gold stairs, pushing past pulsing bodies. They made it to the bottom of the staircase and hurried up. Emma had disappeared from sight.
They reached the top, panting, and headed out the huge doors. Emma was in the corridor, slumped in a heap, weeping. Her cell phone lay discarded beside her.
“What happened?” Steph cried, racing to her friend.
“Nate called off the wedding!” Emma cried.
Everyone looked stunned. Keira gasped.
“That was him on the phone?” Kate asked. She didn’t seem completely convinced that the wedding was off. “You heard it from his mouth? It wasn’t one of the others pulling a sick prank?”
Emma shook her head emphatically. She spoke through her sobs, each one of her words spoken like an angry punch. “I know Nate’s voice. He said it didn’t feel right. He said he was losing himself in the relationship!” she wailed, and sunk her face into her arms.
Keira felt terrible for her. And also like a voyeur imposing on a private moment. This wasn’t her tragedy to witness. She took a step back at the same time the rest of the party rushed in. They formed something of a protective barrier around Emma as she wailed.
“I gave up so much for him! And he says he’s lost in the relationship?”
Her cries were half anger, half agony. Keira could almost feel Emma’s heart breaking.
She felt too awkward to stay around any longer. The women were in a huddle, Keira completely forgotten in their focus on their devastated friend. She turned and walked away, feeling shell-shocked by how her evening had ended.
Keira headed back to her room. Suddenly she felt unable to use any of the interview with Emma that she’d conducted. It wouldn’t be right to publish words she’d said about what she felt was a loving relationship. Keira knew all too well the pain it would cause her, because she felt that agony every time she saw the magazine cover of her and Cristiano, or every time someone asked her how he was.
She went to her desk and sat down, unsure what to do, what to use of her evening. Nina’s brief had been very clear: interact with people. But if she couldn’t use any specifics, what was she to do? She could change the names but it would still be obvious to Emma when she read the article, and Keira felt more loyalty to a fan and reader than she did to her bosses who seemed to be using her at the moment.
She decided instead to write a philosophical passage, which was completely the opposite of what Nina had requested.
How blissful love can be, she wrote, but how it can be blinding and painful, too. After a particularly wonderful evening in the dance hall of the cruise ship, dancing to exceptional live jazz music in the company of some of the most fun, powerful women I’ve ever been honored to meet, I’m left wondering how much of oneself must be sacrificed in order to build a shared life with someone else. And what is the difference between sacrifice and compromise? Must we sacrifice parts of ourselves in order to be with someone?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Keira was mid-breakfast when she heard the announcement come over the PA that the ship was pulling into Helsinki. She was relieved to know she’d soon be on solid ground, and also glad to know she’d have more opportunities to speak to locals about Scandinavian-style love. Her interviews on the cruise ship had been pretty disastrous. As she’d sat up last night trying to work out what to write for Nina and Elliot, it had been nearly impossible. Salvaging something from the wreckage of Emma’s interview was like drawing blood from a stone, and she already knew Viatorum wouldn’t be impressed with what she’d done.
She took the final sip of coffee just as a group of women entered the dining room. It was the bachelorette party from last night, all looking worse for wear. Emma’s eyes were puffy and red. Unice was cradling an arm around her, leading her like a zombie toward a table. Keira hesitated, wondering whether she should go over and speak to them. But it just felt too intrusive. What was the use in being friendly when yesterday she’d silently excused herself from the unfolding drama, evaporating into the ether without a word?
Keira decided Emma and her friends probably wouldn’t want her to speak to them, so she packed her notebook and pen in her purse, then stood and headed for the door. But her attempt at a swift exit was noticed.
“Keira, hey!”
She looked up and saw Steph waving at her. She looked as terrible as Emma, Keira thought, with dark purple bags under her eyes. Keira wondered whether any of the women had gotten any sleep last night at all. She stepped toward them cautiously.
“What happened to you last night?” Steph continued. “You disappeared. I was wondering if maybe you’d ended up finding a sexy guy like Anita had.”
Keira smiled awkwardly. “No. I just headed to my room to get some work done. Looming deadline and all that.”
Steph must have noticed her hesitation because an expression of awkwardness overcame her features, as though she was considering whether calling Keira over had been misjudged. But it wasn’t her, Keira reasoned in her mind, it was the situation. It just felt so intrusive being here, witnessing Emma’s pain, being involved in any way during this tragic time. It wasn’t her place.
“I’d better go,” Keira said, gripping the strap of her purse tightly. “We only have a day in Helsinki. I want to make the most of it.”
Steph nodded, looking lackluster. “Yeah. Sure. Bye.” Her tone had become blank.
Keira hurried away, feeling awful. She wondered what Steph thought of her, if she considered her to be a bit of a prima donna, or too big for her boots. She wondered whether she’d disappointed a fan.
Getting off the boat was an exceptional relief. Even though the wind was colder than any she’d ever felt, it was so refreshing to be off the ship, out of the stagnant air and breathing what seemed to be pure oxygen. The tip of her nose smarted within minutes, but she felt rejuvenated.
The first word that sprang to her mind as she walked the streets of Helsinki was cute, which Keira knew all too well had no place in a romance article. But from the trams to the Victorian-era lamp posts, to the abundance of trees decorated with sparkling silver lights, Helsinki looked like a film set for the most cozy Christmas movie ever. On top of it all, the locals seemed to have a very quirky sense of fashion that just added to the quaintness.
Around every street corner, Keira found cute glass-fronted stores selling things like vintage crockery and clothes, old vinyl records, and knitted winter wear. The urge to spend all her money here was enormous!
Keira wandered along the patterned brick-paved streets, watching th
e passing cyclists and trams. Then up ahead, Keira caught sight of a cute little tea room, decorated with chintzy floral bunting. She was in need of warming up, and felt drawn to the sweet-looking store. She decided it would be a good spot to get some interviews, and so she went inside.
The cafe was much smaller than Keira had anticipated. In fact, there were only about six tables, with two chairs each, and currently none of them were occupied. She must be too early for the tea shift.
She was about to turn around and leave when the woman behind the counter—a lady with a mass of blond curls like a lion’s mane—grinned at her widely.
“Hei!”
“Oh, hello,” Keira said, feeling shy. “Sorry to disturb you. I’m not stopping.”
“But why not?” the woman asked, immediately switching to English.
Keira took a breath. “I’m a writer. I was looking for people to interview about romance in Helsinki. I thought there’d be people inside but since there aren’t I ought to leave.”
“You can interview me,” the woman replied. She had an incredibly cheerful expression, with dimples either side of her mouth. Her demeanor was inviting. “And I can serve you some remarkable tea while you do.”
“Remarkable?” Keira quipped. “How can I resist?”
She took a seat at a rickety wooden table painted powder blue.
From behind the counter, the woman called out, “What do you like? White, black, or green?” A soft clinking sound echoed around the small empty room as she took a delicate tea cup and saucer down from a little shelf beside her head.
“I have no idea,” Keira confessed. “I’m a coffee drinker.”
“Of course.” The woman smiled. “You’re American. In that case, I will give you the best introduction to tea. Everyone loves it. Coco vanilla rooibos.”
“Sounds great,” Keira said. It was all the same to her, since she had no clue either way.
She took her notebook out of her purse.
“So,” she began, looking up at the woman as she bustled around preparing a pot of tea. “Why don’t you tell me your name to start?”
“Venla,” the woman said.
Keira jotted it down. It was unfamiliar to her, but very pretty. “And this is your business?”
“It is. It’s my baby.”
Keira thought of Elliot’s relationship with Viatorum, which she usually thought of as more his husband than his child. A child was someone you nurtured and cared for, whereas a husband was someone to nag and make demands of.
“How long have you been running it?” Keira asked, genuinely interested.
“Years,” the woman told her, in her jolly voice. She began pouring boiling water into the teapot. “People in Helsinki just can’t get enough tea.”
She finished what she was doing, placing the pot, mug, and saucer on a battered-looking tray, then carried it over to the rickety table.
“Let that brew for at least three minutes,” she said, taking the seat opposite Keira.
“Thanks,” Keira replied. “I can’t wait.” She hadn’t realized how cold her fingers had become. Finland was even colder than Denmark had been. “I’m surprised it hasn’t snowed,” she commented.
“It will,” Venla replied.
“Today?” Keira asked, raising her eyebrows. The thought appealed to her. Although she wasn’t sure what the deal would be aboard the ship. Could ships get snowed in? “Anyway,” she said, bringing her attention back to the interview. “Do you mind answering a few questions for me? About love and dating in Finland?”
“I can try,” Venla laughed. “Although I don’t have that much experience.”
“No?” Keira asked, quizzically. “Maybe you should start there.”
“Well, I’ve been with my partner longer than I’ve owned my shop,” she said, smiling. “I’ve never really dated. We just found one another and that was that.”
“That sounds… wonderful,” Keira mused. Imagine never dating. It was like a dream come true! “How did you meet?”
“I can’t quite remember. The cinema, I think. Yes, that’s right. She was buying popcorn.”
Keira raised her eyebrows. “You just started speaking?”
Venla nodded, like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Yes. I said hei. She said hei. We talked. Now here we are twenty years later.”
Keira was stunned. If only things could be that simple at home. “There weren’t any mind games? No chasing?”
“No, no, no, I don’t like that sort of stuff. I don’t think many Finns do. And we don’t have any of those silly rules about who makes the first moves, or how many days to leave before you call, or how many dates until you can sleep together.”
“It all sounds very…” Keira struggled for the word. What she was really thinking was bland. The rules, the “silly” games, were almost half of the fun. Finally, she settled on “…Pragmatic.”
“I suppose you could say that,” Venla agreed. “But it saves a lot of time. Then we have more time for snuggling and taking saunas.”
“Well, okay, that does sound good.” Keira chuckled.
Venla poured Keira’s tea and watched her eagerly. “It’s ready now. I hope you like it.”
Keira picked it up and took a sip. It was pretty good, not to mention very warming. She felt the feeling return to her fingertips. “Mm, yes, that’s lovely.”
She sipped the tea and returned her notebook to her purse.
“Is the interview over?” Venla asked. She chuckled. “That was painless.”
“It was an interview, not an interrogation,” Keira quipped.
“So what is your plan for the day?”
“I’m going on a walking tour after lunch. Although I kind of wish I was going to a sauna now that you’ve mentioned it.”
“To find a lover?”
Keira choked on her sip of tea. She coughed. “Oh. No. That’s not my intention.”
“No? You don’t want to find yourself a Finn to keep you warm?”
Keira blushed. “I’m only here for a day. I don’t think it would be sensible. Besides, my assignment during this trip is to not rebound.”
Venla looked confused. “Are you a freelancer? Or do your employers demand this? Your boss surely cannot dictate your life that way.”
“Oh, it’s not like that,” Keira said, feeling awkward. “It’s a mutual agreement.”
But as soon as she said it, she realized how far from the truth that statement now was. Maybe once it had been a mutual agreement, but somewhere along the line things had transformed. She had not given the go-ahead for this trip, had not given the green light for another assignment, and Elliot had gone ahead and booked it anyway. It was just a fluke that they didn’t ask her to attempt another romance this time. It wasn’t because of her, or her heart, or her mental health that they’d made the decision, but because they’d done some market research, analyzed some data, and come to the conclusion that her readers wanted to see her alone, for one trip at least. The thought settled in Keira’s stomach, making her feel a little nauseous.
She finished her tea and stood. “I’d better get going. Thanks so much for speaking to me. You’ve been very helpful.”
“When do I get to read your article?” Venla asked.
“It will be published by Christmas,” Keira explained. She took a business card from her purse. She didn’t usually hand them out, but Venla seemed keen. “I don’t know if it will be your kind of thing, though,” she explained, looking at the no-nonsense businesswoman. “It’s all a bit… gooey.”
“I may be a practical Finn but I love love as much as the next person,” she said, taking the card and tucking it under the saucer on the table. “I look forward to reading it. Good luck.”
Keira left Venla’s tea room feeling like something had clicked in her mind. A new understanding had come over her. During the course of the conversation, she’d changed. In what way, she couldn’t be certain, but it was unmistakable. And if just one hour in Helsinki could transfo
rm her, what could a whole day do?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Keira’s walking tour was meeting at Kaisaniemi Park. She strode along the streets until the tip of a huge greenhouse loomed up ahead of her. As she got closer, she noticed a group of people had already begun to congregate by the entrance way to the park, next to a statue. She made a beeline for the one person who didn’t have a camera slung around his neck, who she assumed to be the guide.
“Hi, I’m Keira, the writer from Viatorum magazine,” she told him. She checked Heather’s itinerary. “And you’re Jossi?”
“Yes, that’s correct,” he replied.
He was an older man than she was expecting, with a face weathered by time, and ice-white, thinning hair. Keira couldn’t be sure but she thought that he had an air of disdain about him, like he had taken an instant disliking to her. She wondered if she was just being paranoid.
“So, you’re supposed to be asking my clients questions about love, are you?” he asked.
Keira blushed. It sounded dumb when he put it like that. “Actually, I’m not planning on interviewing anyone during the tour,” she explained. “I want to learn about Helsinki. This is for the travel part of the article.”
He raised an eyebrow. “There’s a travel part, is there? I thought it was all fluff.”
Keira grimaced. She couldn’t help but be a little offended by his tone. It wasn’t like he had a particularly worthwhile job either, showing people around landmarks!
She hung back, watching as more people approached and joined the group. When there were about twenty or so people, Jossi checked his watch, then looked up.
“Right,” he said in a loud voice. “Let’s get this started.”
Keira thought he sounded irritated to be there. Her initial offense gave way to curiosity.
Jossi began the tour, pointing at the statue beside them. “This is Convolvulus, a statue by Viktor Jansson.”
He began to walk through the park, leading the group out onto the streets to a large square.
“Sennate Square,” he announced. “Here we can see numerous examples of Carl Ludvig Engel’s architecture. Over here we have the statue of Emperor Alexander, erected in 1894. It was built to commemorate the initiation of several reforms that increased Finland’s autonomy from Russia.”