Ignacio laughed. “You two are a right pair. One of these days you’ll understand.” At that moment Filipa walked towards them and without another word, Ignacio closed his book and stood. Taking her hand, they headed inside together, completely ignoring Jeffrey whistling at them.
Jeffrey put up his legs and closed his eyes, soaking up the sunshine. It wasn’t long until footsteps approached and when he opened his eyes the Prince was walking towards him.
“Wanna come for a walk with me?”
“Will I survive it?”
The Prince raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you going to hold that against me forever now?”
“No, just a few more days,” Jeffrey said and grinned.
“Come on,” Akoni said and motioned towards the peach, his lips twitching as though he tried to hide a smile.
Jeffrey did as asked, following the Prince. First, they headed down the beach, then along it. They walked in silence until they were a considerable distance from the house.
“Am I supposed to provide silent protection on your walk or was there some reason you asked me out here?”
“I was hoping to talk with you.”
“Well, let’s talk then.”
“Why will you not give me a chance?” the Prince asked with a frown.
“We’ve discussed that. Pick a different topic,” Jeffrey said in a bored voice.
“Why will you not help me learn about my magic?”
Jeffrey shook his head. “We discussed that too.”
“Why are you like this?” the Prince tried again, still frowning.
“Years of killing will do that to a person.”
“You’re not as heartless as you make yourself appear.”
“Aren’t I?” Jeffrey sneered.
“I think you’re scared of getting hurt. You know how to deal with physical injuries, I don’t think you know how to deal with emotional pain.”
Jeffrey scoffed.
“Who is Aidan?”
Jeffrey’s steps faltered before his body went rigid. The Prince placed a gentle hand on his arm. It only increased the tension in Jeffrey’s body.
“You cared about him and something happened. I don’t think you’ve fully dealt with it.”
Jeffrey’s hands were fists as he glared at the Prince.
“Tell me about—”
“Don’t say his name,” Jeffrey hissed.
“—him.”
Still glaring, Jeffrey stalked away. This was not a topic he would discuss, not with anyone. The Prince followed, keeping a distance and staying quiet.
They walked in silence for a time.
“Why did you asked me to come on this trip?” Jeffrey stopped and turned to face the Prince. “You certainly don’t need a personal guard. And don’t give me some fancy noble speech, just say it plainly.”
“What makes you think I’m able to speak plainly?” the Prince asked with a smile.
“I did just spend a week with you and your posh friends. You can all be normal when you want to be.”
The Prince chuckled. “We’d like to be ’normal’ as you put it a lot more often, but it’s not that easy. Not for us. As for you, isn’t it obvious?”
“If it is, then you should be able to say it.”
“You’re quite something else,” the Prince said, shaking his head. More quietly he added, “I like you, a lot.”
“And is this your idea of courting someone?”
“Ever tried to be on a date with royalty?”
“Sure, hundreds of times,” Jeffrey sneered, still feeling sore.
“There is no such thing. Anywhere I go I’m surrounded by guards, courtiers, servants.”
“Such a hardship.” Jeffrey rolled his eyes.
“It is,” the Prince said, his voice low, almost angry. He sighed. “At least when you want privacy. How could I take you on a date in the city? Where would we go? Inside the palace, there’d always be someone watching from the shadows, the next day every detail of the evening would be court gossip. Outside the palace, I’d be surrounded by guards trying to keep away people that would come to see me. And word spreads quickly, I tell you. So, still not alone. There is no place I can go without a crowd following.”
“You came here. It was only Ignacio and myself with you in the car. No cavalry, no pesky peasants.”
“That’s not what I mean, I love my people and I love to meet them. But not all the time,” the Prince’s voice spiked upwards as he struggled.
“They are your people though, and the chance to see you is something they value highly. People speak about encounters with royalty for their entire life. I’ve known men who met your grandfather and still recalled that moment on their deathbeds.”
“I know, believe me, I know. But there is the Crown Prince who represents the future of the Empire and then there’s the man that just wants to live a semblance of a normal life, at least sometimes.”
“So, when you invited me here, was that your way of asking me out on a date?”
The Prince looked a little sheepish. “I guess you could say that.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Jeffrey sighed and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.
“I’m not exactly very good at this. I thought I had or... I guess I just don’t know how,” the Prince shrugged.
“But I didn’t know, we could have saved ourselves a lot of frustration if you’d just told me. I’d have not come and made everything easier.”
“I’d have missed you. In some ways, I was hoping we could be... more equal here. And I don’t mean that in the sense that I’m somehow more than you, but you take your duty very seriously and here, there’s not really a need for it.”
“I’ve been well conditioned.”
“How do I un-condition you?”
“Your Highness,” Jeffrey said his voice serious. He had to make him understand. “Haven’t I been clear yet? This cannot happen. I don’t know whether you’re serious with this if this is all some joke if it’s a form of entertainment to you... This isn’t right. I’m not who you think I am. I can’t be your... whatever it is you’re looking for.”
“Jeffrey,” the Prince whispered and looked at him, both hurt and worried. “I’m sorry if I’ve somehow pushed you too far. When I’m with you, you don’t treat me the same way others do. You’re neither scared nor intimidated by me, you don’t try to please me, you’re yourself. I admire that in a way I cannot express.”
“So, you admire me, do you think that’s the same as love?” Jeffrey demanded. “Or that it’s a good basis for a relationship?”
“Of course not. But it could be an opening.”
“An opening for what?”
“For us getting to know each other.”
“Yes, out here in the middle of nowhere, where no secrets can get out. That sounds like we’re getting to know each other really well,” Jeffrey hissed.
“I’m sorry, Jeffrey, I didn’t exactly think this through.”
“Clearly you haven’t. What did you expect would happen this week? I’d fall into bed with you? All the others are sworn to secrecy, then when we’re back in the palace I go back to being a nobody and no one need know anything?”
“No, I...” the Prince trailed off, struggling to find words. “Honestly, I don’t know what I expected. Maybe that we’d find out if we could be more...”
“More what? Can you see yourself telling your father, the King, that you’re in a relationship with your personal guard? With a soldier? And if you don’t tell him, what does that make me? Your plaything to toy with in times of boredom and when the right person to stand beside you comes along you discard me?”
“You know I don’t care what you are. Noble, soldier, farmer, peasant, we’re all humans. I don’t believe in our class system.”
“But you wouldn’t tell your father that,” Jeffrey sneered.
“You know what he does, it’s not exactly easy for me to deal with him.”
“I don’t understand w
hat we’re doing here,” Jeffrey said with a heavy sigh.
“Do you not care for me at all?” the Prince asked dejectedly.
“I care for you a great deal. Which is exactly why I’m telling you all this. I can’t be what you want me to be.”
“But—”
“Your Highness, for the sake of the others I will finish the charade. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time I headed back.” Jeffrey bowed before heading back to the house with a fast pace. He hated this. Could see the hurt he caused. And yet, how else could he protect the Prince? If he could make the Prince hate him for the way he spoke and acted, he’d be safe at least. As much as Jeffrey wanted to give in to desire, the pain of losing Aidan ran too deep. He could not go through it again, could not let the Prince be doomed because of him.
***
The last evening of their holiday came and everyone sat together for dinner again, as they had on the first night. This time the seating arrangements were different, couples had formed over the course of a week and they sat close to each other. Tacitus next to Sofia, Demyan next to Iris, Filipa with Ignacio, Bibiana next to Estria.
Jeffrey was joking and chatting animatedly with everyone, including the Prince. Inwardly he couldn’t wait for the next day to arrive. They’d be returning to the palace, there at least things could go back to the way they were before. They could ignore each other and not talk. He would miss the time spend outside though, being able to go swimming anytime he liked. There were perks to being noble. There was also still a car journey to survive.
Soon after the last course was served, guests started excusing themselves. Couples disappeared together, enjoying one last evening in each other’s company without the pressures of their normal lives interfering. When the Prince rose and left on his own, Jeffrey realised he had not seen him engage with anyone all week. Every other person in attendance had been seen to at least kiss one person or another, not the Prince. Did he only facilitate without engaging himself? It seemed too contradictory to his previous behaviours.
Kieron leaned in to whisper into Jeffrey’s ear, at the same time as Ignacio approached them. Jeffrey felt a pleasant shiver when Kieron’s hot breath touched his ear. “We should leave too, Tiras. Our last night.”
“Jeffrey, would you come with me for a minute?” Ignacio’s pleasant tones were unwelcome for once.
“Now? Can it wait?” Jeffrey’s voice was laden with irritation.
“I’m afraid not.” Looking at Kieron, Ignacio added, “I promise I’ll have him back to you as soon as possible.”
“This better be good,” Jeffrey muttered. He leaned into Kieron and kissed him hard. “Wait for me?”
“You know I will,” Kieron said, a small smile only half masking the redhead’s displeasure.
Ignacio led Jeffrey to a study where the Prince stood leaning over a table. A half-empty bottle of a dark liquid stood beside the Prince, a glass being drained and refilled, and half drained again.
“Really, Ako?” Ignacio asked, stepping close to the Prince and taking the bottle. The Prince reached for it as well.
“Leave it.”
“No.” Ignacio stood his ground. He used his free hand to pry the Prince’s hand away and put the bottle inside a cupboard on the far side of the room.
The Prince grumbled something unintelligible and turned his attention back to the map.
“What’s going on?” Jeffrey asked in confusion.
Ignacio stood beside the Prince and motioned Jeffrey over. “We’ve had a messenger and need to change tomorrow’s plan.”
Jeffrey moved closer, standing on the other side of the table. Focused on the map, he could feel the Prince’s gaze bore into him. He tried to resist but couldn’t stop himself from looking up. Their eyes met for the briefest moment before the Prince turned away and sat in an armchair, back turned to Jeffrey and Ignacio, gaze fixed on the wall in front of him.
Jeffrey had seen a great variety of emotions in the Prince’s eyes since becoming his guard. Mostly they were hidden behind a mask, sealed away. But sometimes in unguarded moments, they revealed a great deal. As they did now. The mask had been stripped away leaving behind only pain. Intense, deep, agonising pain.
Catching Ignacio’s eye, Jeffrey motioned at the Prince and quietly asked, “Is he okay? What happened?”
Ignacio shook his head. “There’s a fortress here,” he said and pointed at a spot on the map. Jeffrey recognised it easily after the hours he’d spent with the marshal when preparing the trip. “We need to stop there tomorrow. It’s a detour but still within a day’s drive. We should be able to make it there, spend an hour or two and still have enough time to get back to the palace before nightfall. Do you see any issues?”
“It’s far away from the route we planned to take. The roads aren’t well kept, it won’t be easy driving. There’s no villages or towns nearby. That’s good in terms of disruptions being less likely. But if anything happens, there’ll be nothing for miles around. It’d be hard to get cover or help.”
“The car is well maintained and has been fuelled. There’ll be no reason for us to need to get help. Anything else?”
“Based on most recent reports before we left, there aren’t supposed to be any skirmishes in any part of this province. We should be okay.”
“Thank you, Jeffrey.”
“May I ask why we are changing the route at such short notice?”
“Because we need to visit the garrison stationed at the fort.”
“My Lord, with all due respect, I need more information than you’re giving me. Why isn’t Kieron here as well?”
“He can’t know. No one can know,” Ignacio’s said, his voice hard and commanding. The exact tone that Jeffrey could not disagree with.
“I won’t tell anyone, My Lord. But I need to know what’s going on. Is the Prince in danger? Then we shouldn’t be leaving here. We can send a messenger to the garrison to get backup. They can provide an escort.”
“We cannot tell anyone, Jeffrey. There’ll be no escort. There is no more danger than there has always been,” Ignacio’s voice was deliberate, each word pronounced exactly.
“By the Goddess, stop being so cryptic and tell me what’s going on!” Jeffrey demanded.
“There’s nothing going on that you need to concern yourself with. If you can’t think of anything else we should consider, you may leave. I believe you’re eagerly awaited.”
Jeffrey scoffed and moved away from the table. With his hand on the doorknob, he looked at the Prince, still sat unmoving in his chair. He changed direction and stood in front of the brunet. Leaning down he faced the Prince, bracing himself on the armrests, pinning one of the Prince’s hands beneath his own. The Prince’s other hand still held the now empty glass.
“Something has you more than spooked. Tell me what’s going on.”
The Prince let out a brittle laugh. “Spooked. That’s good. Ghosts haunt my empire and I’m powerless against them.”
“What happened,” Jeffrey demanded again.
“Unless you are here to kiss me, I really don’t want to see you. Leave.”
Jeffrey hesitated. “I’ll kiss you if you tell me what’s going on.”
The Prince sneered at him but their eyes locked. Jeffrey still saw pain but there was more. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the Prince set the glass down and reach out. Gentle fingers touched Jeffrey’s cheek, they felt cold as they trailed his jawbone, a thumb caressing his lips. “You make me so angry.” The words were only a breath as if they would break if heard. There was no sting in them, only gentleness.
Jeffrey leaned in, pressing his lips against the Prince’s. A sigh. Whose? A hand on the back of Jeffrey’s neck, keeping him in place. He didn’t want to leave. The touch was gentle and soft and innocent. The Prince parted his lips and his tongue lapped at Jeffrey’s lips. Jeffrey hesitantly granted access. Tongues met and danced easily, lazily. Time slowed, disappeared even. Everything became irrelevant as Jeffrey lost himself in an ocean
of pleasant, tingling waves.
Breathing became hard and Jeffrey, still leaning heavily on the chair, became lightheaded. He pulled away, albeit reluctantly. The hand on the back of his head prevented him from moving far. He leaned his forehead against the Prince’s, both their eyes were closed. The only sound their heavy breathing.
“I’m losing, Jeffrey,” the Prince whispered.
Jeffrey opened his eyes at the words, but the Prince still kept his closed.
“We’re on the brink of civil war and my hands are tied. They might as well have been cut off for all the good I’m able to affect.” He sighed, and his hand dropped away from Jeffrey’s head. His eyes opened, anger and pain mixed. “My father is being lied to because he doesn’t want to hear the truth and will punish those speaking it. He is incapable of leading. But I don’t understand my magic, never mind control it. I am too weak to take the throne.” He turned his head away and Jeffrey was forced to move back.
“It can’t be that bad. Surly.” Jeffrey cringed at his own words. But really, it couldn’t be that bad, could it?
“We’ll find out tomorrow. Maybe.”
“My Prince,” Jeffrey said then paused. What could he say? The Prince looked at him, his eyes, clear blue, pleading for something that could never be.
“Leave now.” The words came calmly but there was determination in the Prince’s voice.
Jeffrey sighed heavily but took a few steps back. The Prince turned his head away again. With slow steps, Jeffrey moved to the door and once again paused with his hand on the doorknob. “You’re stronger than you think,” he said with force and left.
Laughter drifted out of the dining room. Jeffrey couldn’t face it now. Instead, his steps led him out on the veranda. The moon had risen, a half crescent, a hint of light reflecting on the black ocean. He wanted to get closer, to touch the water but his body felt heavy and it was all he could do to get to a chair and fall into it.
His eyes closed, and the memory replayed. The Prince’s silken lips against his own, a searching tongue, daring entry. Nothing had ever felt so good, so right and yet so wrong at the same time.
Ties of Destiny (Curse of the Crown Book 1) Page 21