“It’s the middle of the night. You’ve both had a rough evening,” Ignacio said.
“I should...” Jeffrey started and pulled back the blanket, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He almost lost his balance and would have tumbled out of bed, if not for two arms catching him, holding him steady.
“You should stay in bed,” Ignacio said, his voice firm. “Tell me how you’re feeling?”
“Out of place,” Jeffrey groaned. “Embarrassed.” His cheeks felt hot, even his ears did. Being in the same bed as the Prince was something he would have imagined differently if he had allowed himself the indulgence.
“Never mind that. How is your head?”
Ignacio still held on to him and Jeffrey could see his own hands gripping the mattress. If Ignacio let go, he’d be falling over. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then another. “I’m fine.”
A laugh. The Prince. “If this is you being fine, I don’t want to know what you’re like when you’re hurt or sick.”
“You needn’t find out.”
“Jeffrey, lie down.” Ignacio’s voice had that commanding tone again.
Fingers were digging into Jeffrey, keeping him sitting down. He strained against the hold, his body reacting to his need to get away from the Prince, without conscious thought being needed. But Ignacio’s tone and the hard look in his eyes deflated Jeffrey. He sank back and groaned, the motion jarring him.
“Until you’ve rested and recovered your strength you’re not to move. Doctor’s orders,” Ignacio said. “If you try to get up again, I’ll tie you to the bed.”
“Is that a promise?” Jeffrey asked with his eyes closed, a smirk on his lips. “The Prince might not like it, he’ll get jealous. Oww!” he hissed when he was boxed in both arms simultaneously. His eyes snapped open, glaring at both men, one after the other.
“Just be quiet and rest before you give anyone ideas,” Ignacio said with a roll of his eyes. He sat down on the foot of the bed, frowning in concern.
Turning his head to the left, Jeffrey looked at the Prince. “Are you alright?”
The Prince gave a small smile. “Thanks to you. Once more, you’ve saved my life.” The smile disappeared. “I apologise, it’s my fault you’re in so much pain.”
“Your fault? How?” Jeffrey asked in confusion.
“My magic. It’s self-preservation I think, even unconscious it tried to save me by drawing from you. It drew too much, I could have killed you.”
“But you didn’t, I’m alive, you’re alive. You’re getting better, so will I.”
“Jeffrey...” the Prince trailed off, looking at his hands, lying folded in his lap.
“So, what actually happened?” Jeffrey asked into the silence.
Ignacio looked at the Prince who nodded. “The King used a spell of a more permanent kind. Paavo, that is the physician, and myself had a conversation with him. We pleaded really, hoping he’d see reason. Akoni is his only heir after all. It seemed to do enough to make him release his hold. At which point I believe you were able to let the Prince draw your strength again.”
Jeffrey worried his lower lip. There was so much he wanted to ask but didn’t dare, too scared to hear the answers. Could the Prince have died if they hadn’t succeeded? Could it happen again?
“Paavo shared some other worrying information. It appears the King is also drawing from the Queen.”
“Her migraines,” the Prince said. Ignacio nodded. “I wonder... what if he’s doing the same to others? What if that’s why I can’t beat him?”
“But who could he draw from that wouldn’t talk?” Ignacio asked frowning.
“His guards, they are sworn to keep his secrets,” the Prince said with little hesitation. “There are plenty of them, he needn’t take much, a little each day maybe.”
“It would explain much.”
“I’ve always wondered why his captain has so strictly kept his distance from me. He knows.”
“What do we do about it?”
“I don’t know,” the Prince sighed and rubbed his temples.
“You need something for the pain,” Ignacio noted and stood.
“I’ll get tea,” Jeffrey offered and stood up again. With his feet on the floor, he swayed but shook it off. He took a step and another. Firm hands grabbed him.
“Didn’t I warn you?” Ignacio hissed. “Paavo ordered at least a full day’s bed rest.”
“Bed sounds good, this bed... not so good.” Jeffrey motioned at the Prince’s bed.
“You gave a lot of your strength, Jeffrey. So much so that you passed out after all. Don’t take this lightly.”
“I’m fine.”
“Jeffrey, get into the storming bed before you keel over,” the Prince said.
“Is that an order, Your Highness?” Jeffrey asked.
“It is, if you need it to be one.”
“The Prince has spoken,” Ignacio said and pushed Jeffrey backwards. Jeffrey didn’t have the energy to fight and let himself be led. “You two are something else, I swear. Somehow I’m not sure whether to take my leave so you can get on with it or not leave so you don’t kill each other.”
“Don’t think either of us will be doing any killing for a while,” the Prince said wryly.
“Don’t know about that. This guard of yours, think I’d like a word with him,” Jeffrey said, once again leaning against the headboard of the Prince’s bed.
“And do what? Tell him he abandoned his post after I told him to leave and the King’s Captain dismissed him?” the Prince asked with a laugh.
“Tell him he took too damned long to deliver a simple message.”
“That could be entertaining to watch,” Ignacio said. “It would likely not have made any difference though. Maybe it was better I didn’t get there earlier. If the King had still been there, I’d rather not imagine what would have happened.”
“We can’t change it now anyway, so let’s forget about it. Isn’t there any tea? I could really do with some,” the Prince said, holding his head, his face contorted in pain.
“Only cold tea, it won’t be nice. I’ll fetch a servant to get a fresh pot.”
“I’d take the cold tea,” Jeffrey offered.
“Are you feeling that bad?” Ignacio asked worriedly.
“No, just less fussy.”
“I’m not fussy, but ren-tea is disgusting cold,” the Prince said.
“When you’re in the field under attack, you’ll take anything. You get used to anything.”
“But you’re not in the field now, nor under attack. So, you may as well drink tea like civilised people.”
Jeffrey flinched at the words and gritted his teeth. Before he could speak, Ignacio was there, placing a tray on the bed before Jeffrey.
“You need to ignore him,” Ignacio said. “He’s in pain and cranky, he does not mean it.”
“Don’t I?” the Prince asked.
“Shut up, Akoni,” Ignacio hissed in a tone that Jeffrey had never heard him use before. It wasn’t his commanding voice. It was something else and it seemed to work. The Prince stayed quiet.
“Thanks, my Lord,” Jeffrey said, drinking the cold tea. It wasn’t pleasant, but his pain was worse, so he drank the tea quickly.
“Don’t mention it. Will you be okay while I get fresh tea?”
“Oh, don’t make such a big deal out of it. I’ll take the cold one.” The Prince pulled the tea tray towards himself and poured some into a cup. He took a sip and pulled a face, setting the cup down. “How in Tempesta’s name are you drinking this?”
“Just drink it, don’t think about it. Imagine something more pleasant. Beer or wine maybe. If the pain is bad enough, you can drink anything to make it go away,” Jeffrey said and shrugged.
The Prince tried again. Closing his eyes, he lifted the cup and drank the liquid quickly. He pulled a face at the taste but managed to drink it all, shuddering as he set the cup down. “That was the vilest thing!” he complained.
“I’m impressed now,”
Jeffrey said with a smirk, enjoying the Prince’s discomfort.
“You just goaded me into drinking that, didn’t you?”
Jeffrey shrugged and hid a smirk, catching Ignacio’s eye, who seemed to be hiding a smirk of his own. “How’s the pain?”
“I do feel better,” the Prince admitted.
“Well then.”
“Clearly, it’s safe to leave you alone. I’ll go get that fresh tea now then. I may decide to take my time.” Ignacio left the room.
For a time, awkward silence hung between them, both becoming aware of their proximity, of being in bed together, despite being fully clothed.
The Prince spoke first, “How was your day with the recruits?”
“Quite interesting. There’re some good people among them. Strong and skilled fighters. Most of them are the kind to just follow orders without thought but I think there’s a few that have potential.”
“Sounds promising,” the Prince said, his voice strained.
“I’m sorry about today, my Prince,” Jeffrey said earnestly, turning so he sat looking at the Prince. “I should have been there. Maybe I could have...”
“Stop. There is no need for that. I did agree to have you reassigned. It is your wish to leave and you should be free to choose.”
“But if something—”
“Please don’t,” the Prince interrupted. “Yes, he could have killed me. He could have decided not to lift the spell. He could have done any one of a million other terrible things. You may not have been able to stop it or make any difference. You may have endangered yourself. And I would not forgive myself if something happened to you.”
“It’s my duty to protect you though.”
“I am more grateful than you can imagine for all you do. But this, you cannot protect me from. This, I must find a way to deal with on my own.”
“You said you fight him, but he beats you every time. I don’t understand that. You’re such a skilled fighter. How does he beat you?”
“Magic,” the Prince said, looking down at his hands, clasped in his lap. “I loathe it, it seems to never do what I want it to. It seems to only do bad.”
“I don’t mean to pry but I don’t think I understand.”
“It’s hard to explain with words. The Goddess, she grants us powers. They are supposed to help us be fair and just rulers. I can find no discernible good in them. Drawing strength from others, it’s cruel and unfair. How does it help a ruler? Stealing your people’s strength? It’s neither just nor fair.”
“It’s not the only thing though, is it? Our fight at the villa...”
“That may have been the first time ever that it did something useful. Stopping me from killing you.” The Prince bit his lip. “It was so brief, and I’ve not been able to recreate it. Everything else, I see no good in any of it. So, I don’t practise it. My father thinks that makes me weak and unfit to be the next King.”
“But he has no other sons.”
“He has no alternative heir, no. Hence I’m still alive.”
“So, he keeps doing this to you, he doesn’t kill you though. I guess it keeps you weaker, which works to keep him in power? It doesn’t make sense.”
“No, it truly doesn’t.”
“What’s his purpose?” Jeffrey asked, thinking out loud. “What would happen if you were to beat him?”
“If I could gather the strength to beat him, it would prove to him that I’m not weak, that I’m worthy to be his heir.”
“Would you be able to kill him?”
“That would be regicide,” the Prince said.
“But could you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Probably. No, I don’t think so.” The Prince spoke only hesitantly.
“You could but you wouldn’t want to, because it’s not you,” Jeffrey surmised.
The Prince shrugged. “No matter. I refuse to use my magic this way, so I won’t gather the strength to beat him anyway.”
“That’s very defeatist. Why bother with all the politics then? I’ve seen you working to make things better.”
“There must be some purpose to my life. Maybe I won’t be King but at least while I’m Prince I can do so some good.”
“I can’t imagine that Ignacio would let you talk like that.”
“No, he doesn’t typically,” the Prince said with a smile.
“You will be King, and you will bring a lot of much needed good to this Empire,” Jeffrey said with certainty.
“I admire your new-found faith.” The Prince smirked. “I remember you telling me I would make things worse as King.”
“I...” Jeffrey stopped. “You weren’t exactly being a model Prince...”
“I guess I wasn’t. You weren’t exactly a model guard either. You practically attacked me.”
Jeffrey laughed. “I pushed you, that’s hardly an attack. You didn’t even fall over. No harm done.”
Silence.
“Thank you, Jeffrey,” the Prince said and caught Jeffrey’s gaze.
Jeffrey blinked. A lot of unsaid words hung in the air. He smiled and nodded.
They sat in silence, their thoughts drifting.
“You’re shivering, are you cold?” Jeffrey asked.
The Prince looked down at himself. He still wore the same clothes he’d worn during the day, the blanket pulled tightly around his legs.
“Do you want a bath maybe? That worked last time.”
“No, it’s okay. We’ll wait till Nace is back,” the Prince said quietly.
“If he can do something, surely I can too?”
“You won’t like it.”
“Try me,” Jeffrey challenged.
The Prince looked at him with a thoughtful expression, then quietly he said, “Would you hold me?”
The words were spoken too softly to have come easy. Jeffrey hesitated only for a moment before he opened his arms and moved closer. The Prince leaned against him, and they wrapped their arms around each other. Jeffrey also pulled the blanket higher around them, hoping it would help bring warmth. For a time they both sat in silence, each holding the other.
“You’re still cold. Maybe we should get you out of your clothes and lie down properly?” Jeffrey asked after a time.
“With practically anyone else I’d make a joke about impropriety. Somehow it doesn’t seem right with you.”
“Let me try then; maybe I’m only trying to get you into the same state I’m in.” As he spoke, Jeffrey indicated his own lack of clothes. With his armour off already, he was left in his tunic, his arms and legs bare.
The Prince chuckled but pulled away and let Jeffrey help him take off his clothes, leaving him in an undershirt only. They both laid down, Jeffrey once again wrapping the Prince in his arms. The Prince had his head leaning against Jeffrey’s shoulder, Jeffrey leaning his head against the top of the Prince’s.
After a while, the Prince pulled back slightly and lifted his head, their eyes locking. The closeness seemed to have sparked something between them. Both were breathing the same air, feeling the other’s breath.
The Prince’s eyes flickered to Jeffrey’s lips, then back to his eyes. The look in the Prince’s gaze made Jeffrey lick his lips unconsciously. The Prince leaned in pressing his mouth against Jeffrey’s. Jeffrey’s response was immediate, though slow and gentle.
Jeffrey brought a hand up to the Prince’s face, touching him softly, his fingers running through black hair. He pulled back a little to look at the Prince, eyes full of emotion, joy and happiness as well as hope but there was also fear there.
“We should not be doing this, my Prince.”
“How can you run from this? It feels too good, you cannot tell me you don’t feel the same. I see it in your eyes. How can you deny yourself? Us?” the Prince pleaded.
“There’s much you don’t know about me. I’m not good for you. I would only bring you trouble.” Jeffrey spoke quietly, his fingers playing with strands of black hair.
“You’re everything to me. I would do whatever w
as needed to make you see that. There’s no trouble in the world that I wouldn’t face to have you in my life.”
“I’m not worth that.” Jeffrey shook his head.
“You are to me.”
“But you don’t really know me.”
“You’re not giving me a chance to get to know you either though. Tell me about you, about your family, where you grew up.” The Prince’s voice was kind, coaxing.
“There’s much I don’t like to talk about, much of it is painful.”
“We all have painful memories, they’re part of what makes us the person we are. You can share anything with me.”
“I wish it were so easy.”
“It could be.”
Jeffrey looked at him, shaking his head.
“I don’t want to lose you, Jeffrey.”
Jeffrey remained silent, still letting his fingers play through the Prince’s hair.
Moments later Ignacio returned carrying a tray with a steaming pot of tea. At his entrance, both men moved apart, sitting up in bed. Ignacio set his tray down on a table and poured two cups, bringing them to the bed. “I took as long as I could. I’ll leave right away.”
“It’s alright, Nace. I got cold. Tea will help.” The Prince took a cup, without making eye contact.
Jeffrey followed his lead and took the second cup from Ignacio with a “thank you”.
“Are you two okay?” Ignacio asked. He received no answer. “Tell me if you want me to stay or leave. I’ll be fine whichever.”
“I don’t know right now,” the Prince said sounding defeated.
“I’m the one that should leave,” Jeffrey said and setting the cup down, attempted to get up.
“Not so fast. Unless Akoni wants you out, you will stay where you are,” Ignacio said, his voice firm.
Jeffrey looked at the Prince with an eyebrow raised in question.
“You know that I rather you stayed.”
“Well then. Does that mean I’m staying too? In case you do decide to kill each other?” Ignacio asked. The Prince pursed his lips but nodded at Ignacio. “Alright, I’ll take the sofa and try to get some sleep, it’s been a long day. You should both do the same when you’re finished with the tea.”
The Prince sat staring into space, cradling the teacup with both hands. Jeffrey drank his own tea much quicker. He sat the cup down on the bedside table and laid down on his back. He wasn’t exactly tired but closed his eyes anyway, letting his thoughts wander. Being this close to the Prince was hard. Touching him, breathing him in, it was wreaking havoc with his self-control. The kiss they’d shared lingered. Every time they kissed it became more intense, more powerful and harder to resist. But he could not see how the Prince could still want him in his life if he knew the truth. If he knew of Jeffrey’s past.
Ties of Destiny (Curse of the Crown Book 1) Page 26