by Huss, JA
“Nothing.” I sigh, then lie. “Just… be one of her minions.”
“Is that what you want?”
I look over at Lars and find him to be… way too serious for this conversation. “No. Not really.”
He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into him. “Good. I don’t want you to be a minion either.”
I pull away a little and look at him. “What’s going on with you, Lars? You’re acting weird.”
He just smiles, shakes his head a little, then gets up and extends his hand. “You ready to go home?”
I take it and let him pull me up. Because I don’t want Lars to think too hard about any rumors he might’ve heard about me. “Sure. Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Go change and I’ll walk you. Cooper and Isabella already left. And Ax is—” Lars scans the pool. That’s when I notice only Elexa and Ivan are still here, having a private conversation over in one of the huts. I guess everyone was eager to go home for a night of freedom. “Gone, I guess.”
I go inside and slip my shorts and t-shirt on over the bathing suit that Sophie let me borrow. And then I stop to smile about that. Because they’ve all been pretty cool to me these past few weeks. We’ve been hanging out every day. We didn’t spend all our time with the boys. And I got away from Dante every chance I could. And every morning when I go into the server’s locker room, there has been a bag of clothes for me. Each of them went through their closets and found things they didn’t want and gave them to me. And OK, they’re not really my style, but when you literally have nothing, who cares. It’s truly the thought that counts. And they have all been thoughtful. Even Isabella has brought me clothes from her closet. And lots of them still had tags and everything.
It’s almost like they care about me. Almost like I really am one of them.
Which is ironic. Because now that I’m in… I’m thinking maybe I don’t want to be. Maybe they were all right when they told me to leave. And even if I do make it all the way to the end of the summer, maybe I should say ‘no, thank you’ to that scholarship?
I push those thoughts away for another day. We still have six weeks left. And tomorrow I won’t be Mona’s stand-in. She’ll be back and I’ll be the Fugling again. So we’ll see.
When I go outside Lars is leaning up against a tree near the path through the woods. He pushes off it when I approach and steps in line with me.
“You’re my bodyguard now, Lars?”
He shoots me a sideways smile as we walk. “You know… I’m on your side, Cadee.”
“Thanks.”
“No, I mean it. Regardless of what it is. I’m on your side.”
“Right. I get it. And… thanks. I appreciate it.”
“None of this was my idea. It was Cooper’s.”
I don’t know where he’s going with this, so I stay quiet.
“Those first days, he was wrong to do that to you.”
Jesus. What is he getting at? “He apologized, Lars. The night Isabella threw that party at my cottage. We talked it through a little.”
Lars draws in a long breath, then lets it out slowly, like he’s trying to think of what to say next. “Did he apologize for everything?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I think you do, Cadee.”
“If you’re referring to these rumors—”
“I am.”
“Look,” I say, stopping on the path. “It’s all in the past now.” He opens his mouth to say something, but I put up a hand. “I mean it, Lars. Whatever you heard, it’s not about you. It’s about me. And I’m telling you to let it go.”
“Cadee—”
“No. This is my life. I’m making my own decisions. And if I want to try again with Cooper—”
“Try again with Cooper? So that’s what it was, huh? Just Cooper? That’s all you were after that year?”
“No. Of course not. It was all pretty equal, don’t you think?”
“I did. But then I heard—”
“Stop. Just please stop. I don’t know what we’re doing. But my feelings for you, and Ax, for that matter? They haven’t changed. I’m on your side too, Lars. And you know damn well that Cooper would never choose a girl over you guys.”
He doesn’t look convinced. But then he nods. “OK. It’s your life. Come on. I think I smell dinner.”
We’re just across the blacktop road from Cooper’s house when Lars makes a big production of smelling the air. And he’s right. I smell food. “I thought the house staff was on vacation?”
“They are.” Then Lars smiles, takes my hand, and leads me across the road.
The first person I see when I enter is Meat. “Hey!” I say. And then I realize what that means. “Mona!” I start walking towards the kitchen.
“Surprise!” She pops out from a side hallway. “Are you ready to party, Cadee?”
She hooks her arm around mine, forcing Lars to let go of me, and leads me towards the kitchen. The back wall of windows has been opened up so that the patio facing the lake is now an extension of the great room and outside there’s smoke blowing in the breeze, the smell of barbecue in the air, and everyone from rush is in Cooper’s back yard.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Cooper wanted to throw you a welcome home party.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m completely serious. He’s been hanging out at my house almost every night since you got sentenced to Dante duty. He made Meat check in with him every two hours.”
“Stop it.”
She laughs. “I’m serious, Cades.” She shoots me a crooked grin. “He likes you. He wanted to throw you a party but didn’t want it to come off weird. So I told him I’d come. We have a lot of catching up to do. Now go talk to your man.” She pauses, cocks her head a little. “Men? Man? I’m not sure. I think you have all three of them, sweets.”
“I don’t know about that. Ax has been pretty busy with Valentina these past two weeks. And it appears that Lars and Selina have a thing going too.”
“Right. They do. But that’s work, honey. You?” She points her finger up and down my body. “You’re just pleasure. It’s gonna be tricky, but not impossible. Can I give you a piece of advice?”
“Sure.” I laugh, unable to stop smiling.
“Just don’t break their hearts. Be careful with their hearts, Cadee. They’re only tough as nails on the outside.”
I nod. And agree. “I know that.”
“Then…” She pans her hand towards the backyard and I see Cooper waiting just outside the fold-away doors. Hands in pockets instead of crossed over his chest. Grin on his face and his eyes… not dark with the depths of despair.
For the first time in a long time, I see the electric blue of a peacock feather instead of the poison of a gas flame.
He extends his hand. Inviting me to join him in the back yard.
To join his world.
And I feel, maybe for the first time in years, that maybe… everything will be OK.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - COOPER
I see her the moment she walks through the door and I hold my breath, waiting for her to see me too.
Mona finds her first. But I’m not focused on Mona.
All I see is Cadee.
I’ve seen her every day. I saw her just a few hours ago. So this shouldn’t feel any different. But it does.
For two weeks I have kept my distance. I might not know Dante Legosi all that well, but I know his type. He’s been coming to my house for parties like this—thrown by my father instead of me—for as long as I can remember.
But he’s not invited tonight.
I didn’t invite any of the pledges, except Mona, of course. This isn’t about them, this is about us.
My little team.
Cadee sees me and I smile just a little. Just enough to let her know she’s the reason this is happening and I’m glad she’s home. Then I shove my hands in the pockets of my shorts, a nervous gesture. Because I don’t know what to do with them.<
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Do I hug her? Take her face in my hands and kiss her?
Because that’s what I want to do. Have an overwhelming urge to do, in fact.
She stops in the great room and stares at me. Waiting, I think. For me to make a decision.
And then I do know what to do.
I extend one hand and invite her to join me.
She walks forward smiling, then laughing. And by the time she places her fingertips in my open palm, she’s breathless.
I don’t think I’ve ever smiled this wide in my entire life. “Welcome home.”
She giggles, then sucks in a deep breath of air and says, “Thanks.”
“Go on, go on,” Mona prods, pushing Cadee forward a step so we’re so close she has to tip her chin up to keep her eyes locked with mine. “Have fun, kids. Life is short, gotta enjoy it. You only get one, and… all those other cliché sayings.” Mona winks at me and turns away, walking past us, calling out for Lars.
Cadee and I just stand there for a second. And maybe it’s a little awkward, but isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
“So,” I say.
“So.”
We laugh.
“I heard you did this for me,” Cadee says. She breaks eye contact, but just barely. She finds her nerve quick enough and then holds the moment, like she’s enjoying it.
“I did.” I let out a quick breath and turn a little, looking at the celebration I planned. It’s got all the makings of a summer barbeque on the lakeshore. White lights strung around the dock and boathouse. The fire pit roaring, casting shadows on the faces of Ax and Valentina. Selina flipping burgers and dogs in the outdoor kitchen. Isabella sitting on the granite countertop nearby, nursing a beer.
Mona and Lars walk past us, arm in arm. And even though I have noticed that Lars has been distant with me over the past week—and I know this is about Cadee—he seems at ease tonight, letting Mona guide him over to the beer.
“I did,” I say again. “This is for you, I mean. I’m fucking sorry, Cades. It was a shit move to stick you with Dante and I’m sorry.”
She looks around for a moment, takes it all in, then looks back at me. “The bodyguards were a stroke of genius. I really do appreciate that.”
“So you didn’t have any problems with Dante?”
“No.” She shakes her head a little to emphasize her answer. “He caught me in the pantry once.”
“What?” My whole body stiffens.
“Relax,” she says, tugging me towards the backyard. “He kissed me, that’s it. And before you ask, I let him. He wasn’t going to steal that from me, so I gave it away. I think I kinda stunned him. He was expecting a fight.”
“Yeah.” I let out the breath I was holding. “He’s the kind of guy who likes the fight.”
“Exactly. So he got his stupid kiss, but he didn’t get the fight.”
I think way too hard about those words and feel a little bit sad. “Cadee—”
“Nope.” She places her hand on my chest, shakes her head a little. “We’re not going backwards tonight. It’s over. All of that stuff is over now.”
And then, like he’s listening in on our conversation, Ax stands up on the patio table, holding up a beer. “Listen up my diabolical partners in crime!” He paces back and forth along the length of it in typical Ax fashion, his boots scuffing along the wood and his shoelaces dragging behind him. “Here’s to the end of challenge fucking one of the Fang and Feather Summer Rush!” Then he goes sober for a moment, stops his pacing, and looks straight at Isabella. “And we’re all. Still. Here. Fuck all those evil people who live for our demise. Fuck all those lies they tell. Fuck all those expectations they have. We beat you this time, assholes! And we’re gonna do it again tomorrow!”
Isabella manages a smile. And in my expert opinion, it looks real. She lifts up her beer. “Cheers to that, you maniac.”
We laugh and cheers back. Even though Cadee and I don’t even have a drink yet.
“He certainly has a way with words, doesn’t he?” Cadee says.
“Yeah,” I say. “Yeah, he does. But he’s right. We are going to win. Come on, let’s relax. No one can hurt you here, Cades.” I keep her hand in mine and lead her over to the kitchen.
“I’m seriously not worried about it, Cooper. I’m fine. I swear. Dante was actually… not that bad. I think maybe he gets it.”
“Gets what?” Mona asks.
“You know. That we’re—well, you guys—you’re all in this together.” She looks at Valentina, who has dragged Ax into the kitchen area with her. “Right? It’s either swim or sink.” She looks at Mona. “And swimming is something we all know how to do.”
Mona’s face goes serious. She’s probably thinking about how she almost became an Olympic swimmer. Then she says, “We are a bunch of damn good swimmers.”
Valentina holds up her beer. “I’ll cheers to that, sister.”
“All right, all right,” Lars says. “Enough about the day job. Quitting time happened an hour ago and I’m hungry.” Everyone agrees and starts making plates for burgers and dogs.
Quitting time. It’s a weird way to put it, but he’s right.
It’s just a job.
We all eat together at the outdoor dining table. Laughing and joking. Talking about things that have nothing to do with the day job. And the sun sets while all this is happening and suddenly the backyard is lit up with white lights and the flicker of fire.
Ax goes to the fire and starts poking it with a long branch. Everyone else kinda settles in to smaller conversations. But then I glance over at the side yard and see Michael and Ivan coming towards us with Sophie and Elexa.
“Interlopers!” Ax yells, his poking stick on fire now. “Halt! Who goes there?”
“It’s just us,” Michael says.
“It’s a private party, kids,” Lars yells. “You’ll see us tomorrow.”
Michael looks at me. “I came to talk to Cooper real fast.”
Ax stalks up to the crashing pledges, circling them as he holds the flaming stick in front of his face so he looks like the demons tatted up on his arms. He leans into Michael’s face. “So why did you bring them?” He nods his head to Ivan, Elexa, and Sophie.
Michael looks at me nervously. I don’t think any of the pledges are afraid of me or Lars, but pretty much everyone is still afraid of Ax. He’s just weird and unpredictable. He hides the violence and anger inside him pretty well, but no matter what, it always leaks out through his eyes. He can’t quite plug those two dark pits that lead straight to his black soul.
I step forward. “What’s on your mind, Michael?”
Michael’s still not sure that Ax isn’t about to set him on fire, so he talks while maintaining eye contact with him. “I just need a few minutes. In private.”
“Fuck,” I moan. “Can’t this wait?”
“No, Cooper. It can’t. You’re in charge, so I need to talk to you.”
I look down at Cadee. “Give me a sec, OK?”
“Sure.” She smiles at me and then walks off to join Mona and Isabella.
Michael walks towards me, while Ivan and Elexa start making themselves at home near the beer fridge. Sophie just kind of stands there until Selina takes her hand and pulls her over into the crowd.
“OK, what is it, Michael?”
“Can we go inside?”
I sigh. “Jesus Christ. This is starting to sound like a whole lot of drama that I’m not really interested in dealing with tonight.”
“Five minutes, Cooper. I don’t think that’s asking too much.”
I scowl at him. “This better be important.”
“Well, you can tell me once we’re done talking.”
“Whatever.”
I lead him through the fold-out patio doors and into the great room, then keep going until we’re on the other side of the house in a small library. He follows me in and closes the door while I find a light and flick it on. “OK. Spill.”
“Do you know what Dante’s up to?”
>
“In reference to what, Michael?”
“Anything.”
I cock my head at him and try to control my building anger. “Either you have something to tell me, or you don’t.”
“I’ve heard rumors about him. And about Cadee too.”
“Cadee? What rumors?”
“About you and her. And that something went down a few years back.”
I control every physical reaction with precision. But inside, I’m starting to feel sick. “What did you hear?”
“Bits and pieces about an abortion. And… other things.”
I clench my jaw. “And how does Dante fit into this?”
“He’s the one spreading them. He said Cadee told him things. About you.”
“Bullshit.”
“Why is it bullshit? Because it’s not true? Or because it didn’t happen?”
Oh, I don’t know if I’ll be able to let this boy get away with that one. I might have to make an example of him. “Why do you care?”
“Because I think Dante’s dangerous. And the only reason I’m here in rush this summer is to get Sophie away safely.”
“Listen to me, Michael. And listen very fucking closely. Sophie isn’t getting away. Not this year, at least. She has four more years to figure out a real plan, just like the rest of us. But she will get through the rush. And she will be in Fang and Feather before fall semester starts. So if you really do love that girl, you will make her understand these facts. Do not lie and fill her head up with fantasies of running away. It’s not going to happen. As far as this Dante stuff goes, let me handle it. Whatever rumors he’s spreading about Cadee, they didn’t come from her and they didn’t come from me. And if the rumors are about us, then we’re the only ones who matter.”
Michael stares at me for a moment, then nods. He’s just about to turn away and I’m just about to let out a long breath of relief when he looks me in the eyes. “You should know… Lars knows too. He’s been asking around about it.”
“About what?” I snarl these words out.
“An abortion, I guess. You tell me. And maybe I don’t know what really happened between the four of you a few years back, but I do know that it involved the four of you, Cooper. So, you know, maybe it’s not just about you and Cadee. Maybe Lars should’ve had a say in things too.”