by Marnee Blake
“Do you have any proof?”
“No. I don’t.” There was no proof then and he had nothing now.
“I see.”
But she didn’t, did she? Or maybe she did. He would have never thought of his father’s involvement. Maybe he was the one whose opinion of his family had clouded his perspective of the situation. “I’m not sure I should have said anything.”
She studied him, and he stared back. He liked having her eyes on him, even though he got the impression that she saw too much. Finally, she leaned closer, to be heard better without yelling in the crowded hall, and asked, “Why did you?”
“Why did I say anything?”
She nodded.
“Because I want to know you,” he answered honestly. “My family, things are strange with them right now. But whatever is happening with you feels true. And I’m afraid I’m going to mess it up.”
Her eyes widened. She probably hadn’t expected that much truth. Well, he didn’t regret telling it to her.
While she was speechless, he admired her eyes. This close, he could see that their green was shot through with gold, like starbursts around the pupils. Beautiful. Like the rest of her.
The moment elongated and went from about her being speechless to something else entirely. Awareness stretched between them and he let it swirl there, loving the intensity of it. The sounds and sights of the room faded into the background as he watched her, the soft flush on her cheeks, the way her mouth had fallen open.
He wanted to reach for her, touch her hand, take her fingers in his, but he was pretty sure she’d shy away. She might have kissed him yesterday, but she had regretted it this morning. So he waited, allowed her to feel whatever it was between them.
And there was something there. She might want to pretend there wasn’t, might have preferred it that way. But truth was truth, no matter how you tried to deny its existence.
She shifted back, away from him. He’d expected it, but his disappointment remained. One of these times, maybe…
She cast her eyes down, then away, anywhere but at him. Something about her was afraid. Was it him? He didn’t think it was. Sure, there were a lot of reasons why they shouldn’t be together—the investigation, his family—but he didn’t think that was it.
“Heidi?” He made her name a question, but he wasn’t sure what he was asking.
“Thanks for the invite, Dak. This was fun.” She tucked the sides of her jacket closer, like a suit of armor. “I should go. But I’m going to look into this.”
He caught her arm, stopping her. “My family—” If she started investigating his family, his father would know why. “My mother—” God, how was he going to explain this to her?
“I’ll be discreet. I needed to talk to your father anyway.”
He nodded, dropping his hand. There had been no way to avoid it, it seemed. He’d already tried to talk to his father and his brother himself. It was hopeless, and he should have seen that.
It would be best left in her hands.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Her lips tilted in a sad grin. “I’ll see you around.”
As she walked away, though, he got the distinct impression that if he left it to her, she wouldn’t.
* * * *
On the desk next to Heidi, her phone buzzed with a text. Dak’s name with the short message: Are you around?
She picked it up, staring at the words. She’d put off talking to him too much over the past few days. He’d texted her that morning, and she’d given short answers.
Because she was a coward.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to him. The opposite, actually. She wanted to talk to him so much that it scared the shit out of her. She picked up her phone to respond. Something short, to the point. I am.
Good.
A knock sounded at her door. He stepped in and said, “You’re avoiding me.”
God, why did he always have to look so good? Today, in jeans and a thermal T-shirt that did nothing to hide the play of muscles along all of him, he was every girl’s fantasy. His hair was tousled, and a half grin played on his lips.
“Yes. I am,” she admitted. Because she didn’t lie well.
“Why?” he asked.
Tired of pretending, she sighed. “Because you terrify me.”
His head had jerked back, as if she’d smacked him. Bet he wasn’t used to that much honesty. “Why?”
“You. I don’t understand what your part is in any of this and, well, I’m attracted to you. So, the mystery and the straight up hotness, it’s just a bit much for me right now.” She glared at him. Whatever. Best to get things out in the open.
He blinked, and the moments stretched together until they became awkward. She waited, but as it became clear he wasn’t going to say anything else, she spread her hands in question. “Anything else?”
“Lots of questions. But the most pressing is if you’d come mountain biking with me tomorrow?”
“What?” Now it was her turn to be surprised.
“My friends Lance and Meg were at the pool hall the other night.”
“I remember.”
“Good. We were going to go mountain biking. You like biking, right?”
“Well, yeah.” In fact, she loved biking. Since she’d moved there, she’d gone a few times on her own, but it would be more fun to do it with someone else.
“Good. Come with us.”
She knew she shouldn’t. This was the time to reestablish that she should be professional with him. “Okay.”
The logical part of her lost.
He quickly gave her directions and set up a time, as if he was afraid she might second-guess her decision—which she did immediately after he left.
He hadn’t even asked about the investigation. Or his father or brother. Or if she’d found out anything at all about them.
Which she hadn’t.
Maybe he’d been honest at the pool hall when he told her that he only wanted to get to know her. The problem was, she wasn’t sure if she believed him. And she couldn’t date someone who was keeping secrets. Even thinking that he might be keeping something from her scared her to death.
Because she’d almost lost her life the last time someone she’d loved kept things from her.
She couldn’t keep living her life in the past, though. Either she was willing to take a chance on him or she wasn’t. Did she have it in her to do that?
Did she need to make that decision right now?
Couldn’t she just be a woman, going to spend time with a good-looking man without having to decide that it meant something or not?
She needed to decide if she could be that woman. Preferably before tomorrow.
Chapter 9
The next day, Heidi pulled into the lot near the hiking trail. As she shifted her car into park and turned it off, she spotted Dak, Lance, and Meg near a picnic table. They were decked out in biking gear—helmets and spandex. She gripped the steering wheel, wondering if this was a bad idea. She’d continued to wonder that the past twenty-four hours. Still, she hadn’t called to cancel.
She decided that she loved biking, and this didn’t have to be more than just her spending time with people her own age, doing a recreational sport they all enjoyed. She even thought she’d managed to convince herself that was true.
But now that she was there, she wasn’t so sure.
Meg and Lance were there. That should have made her more comfortable, to have a buffer, but it didn’t. She was so nervous she didn’t think she’d be able to make conversation with strangers without sounding like an idiot.
This was ridiculous. In DC, she’d had lots of friends. This new social anxiety wasn’t like her. She’d spent the past year avoiding people, and this is what happened: she’d become afraid.
No more. She opened t
he car door, pasted a big smile on her face.
“Morning,” she called as she walked around to where her bike was hitched on the back of her car.
Dak trotted over to give her a hand. “Morning. Thanks for coming.”
He appeared genuinely happy to have her there. Add the sun warming his tanned skin, and the open expression and all of it made him even better looking than she already thought he was. She caught her breath, determined to keep her head. “Thanks for inviting me. I haven’t been mountain biking on this trail yet.”
She didn’t keep going, but it was on the tip of her tongue that this trail was more secluded than she preferred to bike alone, and she didn’t know anyone to bike with. But that was sad, so she was glad she caught herself.
“Well, then, you’re in for a treat. This trail isn’t too steep, but it gives you some views of the mountains you might like.” He pulled her bike off the rack before she could tell him that she could do it and smiled at her. “Bet there weren’t mountains like this in DC.”
She wanted to say that she’d done most of her biking in Virginia, where it was more scenic, but the words got stuck in her throat when she got distracted by the play of muscles on his forearms. When she caught him looking at her strangely, she cleared her throat. “Right. Not in DC.”
His brow still furrowed, he pushed her bike to his friends. “Heidi, you met Lance, but I didn’t get a chance to introduce you to Meg at the pool hall the other night.” He smiled at them. “Meg was our trainer during rookie training.”
As she said hello, Heidi was struck again by the rightness of the couple. They probably didn’t realize it, but they curved themselves around each other. When they moved to get on their bikes, they always seemed to be aware of the other, as if their orbits were in complete sync.
She couldn’t help but be jealous of a connection like that. It wasn’t something she’d ever experienced.
The group set off on the trail. It was challenging, but not so difficult to take away the fun. Before long, she discovered she was actually having a good time. They stopped a few different times to admire the view, but it was the easy banter between the other three that relaxed her. The friendship between them was genuine, especially the easy ball busting between Lance and Dak. She also found that she liked Meg Buchanan. Though she was more subdued than her outgoing boyfriend, she could get into the mix if she had to. And Lance never hesitated to drag her in. The guy had a mischievous streak a mile long and seemed to love to rile his girlfriend up.
But, that wasn’t what had her gut aching. It was the soft looks and gentle squeezes. The two of them were in love. It was impossible not to notice.
As she caught them exchanging a quick hug before they started again, Dak appeared at her side. “They’re pretty great, aren’t they?”
She nodded, looking away, afraid of what he might have seen on her face. “Yeah, I like them a lot.”
“I’m glad they found each other. They grew up together. He was her brother’s best friend.”
She laughed. “Wow, scandalous.”
“Yeah. Their fathers were jumpers, too. They died together in a fire.”
Her gaze found his. “They died?”
“I’ll tell you the whole story, sometime. Or”—he glanced at his friends as they nudged each other playfully with their elbows—“maybe they’ll tell you themselves.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you friend matchmaking for me?”
He shrugged, lifting his hands in an I’m innocent gesture. “I thought that you didn’t know anyone.”
Some girls might find that presumptuous, but Heidi wasn’t that girl.
She stared at him. She hadn’t gone easy on him. Since they’d met, she’d done nothing but give confusing messages. Introducing her to his friends, hoping that she might hit it off with his friend’s girlfriend, that was the mark of a man who hoped to keep seeing her, while making sure he didn’t push too hard. At the pool hall, he’d done his best not to push. All along he’d done his best to give her space to decide what she was going to do, even though he continually asked her to keep seeing him. In his defense, though, she hadn’t said no—at least not since the first time.
And that time, she’d taken it back with a sound kiss.
A kiss she couldn’t help remembering now, staring up into his golden eyes.
Another guy, she might wonder if he was desperate, but there was no way. She’d seen the way other women looked at Dak, especially the other night at the pool hall. Yet he’d taken an interest in her, enough to want her to know his friends.
Even if she’d been trying to keep her distance from him, there was nothing in her that would be able to resist a man who would go to this extent to know her.
“Thank you.” She wheeled her bike closer, looking up into his face. The sun was high, so she had to shade her eyes, but she smiled. “Thanks for inviting me to bike with you and thanks for introducing me to them.” She glanced to where his friends were set up on their bikes. “They’re really great.”
“They are.” He grinned at them. “You ready? Or you tired and trying to stall?”
“Fat chance, Parrish.”
As they took off again, the others laughing and joking, she let the sun warm her, feeling more like a normal girl, out on an easy date with a guy, than she had in a long time.
* * * *
“Later, Parrish.” Lance tucked Meg against him, lifting his hand. “Nice to see you, Heidi.”
“You, too, Lance.” Heidi waved back.
Dak stood next to her as they watched his friends leave. Inviting her had been a good idea. As the day passed, she’d relaxed. Her smile came easier, and she fell right into the pattern of ribbing and joking. His chest had squeezed, watching how she fit in with his friends. But mostly, it made him wonder how someone as outgoing and vivacious as Heidi Sinclair had gone so long without making friends there. Or, more accurately, what had kept her from reaching out since she moved.
As Lance’s Jeep pulled out of the parking lot, she faced him, rocking back on her heels. “This was a lot of fun, Dak. Thanks for inviting me.”
“Thank you for coming.”
They’d been gone all day, stopping multiple times to check out the view and to eat. It had been low key and amazing, his perfect kind of date. Now, though, standing in the moonlight, the door to her SUV open, he didn’t know what to say. Because staring down into her upturned face, flushed from being outside all day, was enough. He could probably stand there looking at her for hours. “Heidi?”
“Yeah?” She breathed, her eyes wide.
“I’m going to kiss you now.”
She didn’t respond, only tucked her arms around his waist. But, considering that she met him halfway, her head tilted and eyes closed as she hung on to his shirt, he assumed she was fine with the idea.
As their mouths met, he groaned. God, he didn’t think he’d get enough of kissing her. If their first kiss had been a surprise and discovery, this one was full of longing. He angled his chin to better take her lips, dipping his tongue inside to meld with hers. She gasped, and then softened against him, and he buried his hand in the hair at the back of her neck.
She pressed against him, smelling like wind and something sweet and hot and totally her.
They tangled together, there in the middle of the parking lot with no one else around. When they pulled back, he still held her, gazing down into her flushed face, loving that her lips were full and pink. She looked thoroughly kissed, but everything inside him screamed to keep going.
Instead, he steadied her and stepped back. Easy did it, after all.
As she caught her breath, her eyes open and vulnerable, he was struck by how many things he wasn’t telling her. He opened his mouth, ready to come clean. “Heidi…”
But as he watched, something flashed on her face, something that looked a lot like fear.
>
She glanced away quickly, stepping back, and whatever replaced the earlier awareness on her face bothered him. She wanted him, it had been in her eyes, the way she held her breath so close to him. But that look?
Seeing it there ripped at his guts.
Again, he wondered if she was afraid of him? Sure, he was a big guy, topping out at six-two and muscled from head to toe. Had to be, it was part of his job. Maybe she was afraid of large men. He wasn’t sure, but something had happened to make a strong, feisty woman like Heidi afraid. Even the thought of it sent a wash of rage coursing through him.
If someone had hurt her, God help them.
He stilled. Where the hell had that come from? He wasn’t the kind of guy who threatened others or pulled macho crap. He was the diplomatic one, always.
But this woman was turning him into a Neanderthal.
Maybe he was overreacting. As he replayed all their conversations and interactions, there was nothing there that should have upset her or made her afraid of him.
“Heidi, are you okay?” He reached for her, but she shook her head, her hand on the door.
Nodding, she smiled. “Yep, absolutely. Like I said, thanks for inviting me. This was fun.” She turned, pausing, this time actually meeting his eyes. “I’ll text you.”
He had no idea what was happening in her head. “Heidi—”
“I’ll text you.” She slipped into her driver’s seat.
She needed space. He got that. So, he patted the door frame. “As soon as you get home, please.”
She nodded again, her head moving so fast he wondered just how shaken up she was. But he closed her door, stepping back.
Watching her leave, he cursed himself. What had happened? He wished that he’d had a chance to talk to her alone. He’d wanted to come up with something, some way to explain about his family. To warn her that they might be involved without completely throwing them under the bus. Instead, the moment had passed and now she was so freaked out. He had no idea when he’d have another chance to talk to her.