by Marnee Blake
She shook her head, but nothing could dislodge the images still so close to the surface and made worse by the events of the evening. “The van exploded. I was thrown against the building, and Jeff got tossed the other way. I don’t know what happened exactly after that. Jeff called it in, he chased the two men and caught one of them.”
“And you?” Dak’s voice was low and she couldn’t read it.
She lifted her shirt enough to expose the scar on her belly, low on her left side. “A piece of metal, through here. But not life-threatening. At least not for me.” She dropped her shirt. “But for the baby I’d just found out I was carrying, the one I was going to tell Jeff about at dinner? It had been the end of it for them.”
“Oh, God.” The words sounded torn from his chest, full of sorrow. His fingertips pressed into her shoulder blades and she went into his arms willingly, allowing him to wrap himself around her.
“I came here, to Oregon, not because I was running from the job, not even because I was running from a bad relationship. But the memory of those flames, of what they took from me? I would have gone across the world to get away from them.”
* * * *
Holding her against him, Dak closed his eyes and tucked Heidi’s head under his chin. While his heart beat fast in his chest, he could feel hers against him, steady and strong. Because this wasn’t anything new or shocking to her. It was what she lived with every day.
She’d lost a child, a baby she’d wanted. It hadn’t taken any special deduction to see how that had destroyed her. The anguish of it, the loss, it had been etched on her face when she talked.
Did anyone recover from something like that? He didn’t know.
“You and your husband?” He didn’t recognize his voice, it was so gruff. Her pain, it was a real presence in his chest.
Her chin rubbed against his chest as she shook her head. “We didn’t mourn the same way.”
There was something she wasn’t saying. “He didn’t mourn?” He couldn’t imagine. He wasn’t a father, but he hoped to be one day. A loss like that, he couldn’t even guess how he would bear it.
She pulled away, brushing her hair from her face and tucking her own arms around herself again, like armor. Her face became a mask of sorrow. “He mourned. His guilt consumed him. And I tried. I tried to forgive him. It wasn’t his fault that they targeted him that day, that he couldn’t tell me about the danger. He didn’t even know how dangerous it was. But I couldn’t see that. Not then. I was too angry.”
“Angry.”
“Yes. It ate at me.” Her mouth tightened. “He left me there, on the street, bleeding, to chase down one of the bad guys. I was bleeding and our baby died, and he left me there.” Her hands had fisted at her sides, tight balls with white knuckles. “I was so scared, and it hurt so much. As I lay there, on the sidewalk, clutching my side and waiting for the ambulance, I’ve never felt so helpless or alone.”
Unable to resist any longer, he stepped forward, folding her against him again. So much about her made more sense. She’d left DC after her marriage fell apart, to escape a horrible experience and start over. Now, there she was, reliving parts of it.
“You aren’t alone, Heidi,” he whispered against her hair. “I’m here.”
She pulled away, staring up at him. Her eyes were huge and green. “Kiss me, Dak.”
He didn’t need to be asked twice. Dropping his head, he covered her lips with his own. He buried a hand in her hair, angling her mouth against his for better access. As their tongues touched, the connection ran through him, and he groaned. He’d never tasted anything as intoxicating as Heidi. She was sweet and spicy, and the mixture sent heat slicing through him.
She leaned forward, pressing her body fully against him and wrapping her arms around his waist. They tangled themselves in one another for long minutes, her breath catching with his, his pulse loud in his ears.
With effort, he pulled away. “Heidi—” He gasped. “We should stop.”
“No.” She ran her fingers up his chest, wrapping her arms around him. “I don’t want to stop.”
“You’ve been through a lot tonight. You aren’t thinking clearly.” Though it was hard, damn near impossible, he had no intention of hurting her any more today. She had already been through too much. She might want him now, but he needed to be sure that it wasn’t influenced by anything else. That she was thinking clearly.
He could wait for her.
“I’ve wanted to be with you since we met. I was just too chicken shit to do anything about it.” She pressed her fingers into the nape of his neck, coaxing him to meet her gaze. Her eyes were steady, determined. “I’ve cut myself off, from everyone. And that’s not who I am. I don’t want to be afraid, not anymore.”
“Heidi…”
“Stay with me, tonight. Be with me.”
“Are you sure? We can wait.” He gripped her shoulders, searching her eyes.
Instead of answering, she stood on her toes and pressed her lips against his.
He tugged her closer, cradling her against him. They needed to go slow. Except Heidi didn’t seem to agree. Her hands tugged at his shirt, lifting it over his head and off his body. As her touch trailed along his chest, his breath hitched, and his heart raced. He intended to keep their kiss sweet, but her mouth was insistent, pulling at his.
When she reached for the button on his pants, he caught her wrist. “Heidi, stop. Please.”
“Let me do this.” She opened his pants, awkwardly yanking down the fly. With a push, she sent them tripping back on her couch. Dropping to her knees, she helped shimmy him out of his pants and boxers. Then she curled her hands around him.
His hips jerked up and off the cushion, his fingers digging into the fabric. His eyes drifted closed, and he allowed himself to take what she wanted to give him.
Her mouth was soft, warm. As she trailed her lips on him, he allowed her free rein of his body.
She was amazing, and too soon he was too close to losing control. “Baby, wait. For a minute. I need to touch you. I have to touch you, too.”
Reaching for her, he gripped her waist, dragging her to straddle him. She lifted the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, leaving her only in a bra and jeans.
Dak inhaled sharply. She was lovely. Her breasts were full, her waist small, her hips lush—hips now pressed against his thighs, her legs stretched astride him. Running his fingers under the straps, he unsnapped the front closure of her bra, freeing her.
In the full light, she was lush, her nipples tight and turned up. He cupped her, running his thumbs gently over the tips. She gasped, arching toward him.
Leaning forward, he covered her left breast with his mouth. She clutched his shoulders, digging her nails in, her head falling back and her eyes drifting closed.
He played his tongue over her, his hands at her hips, pulling back to switch breasts. When he lifted his head again, he met her sex-hazed gaze as his fingers paused on her pant button. “Is this okay?”
Was that his voice, that gruff timbre?
In response, she stood, dropping her pants in record time. But then, without giving him time to fully appreciate the gorgeous view, she scurried naked to the door. Digging around in her purse, she didn’t seem to find what she wanted right away. So she spilled the contents on the floor.
Then she was in front of him, a condom in her hand.
Guess she was okay.
A quick rip and she was straddling him again. She covered him, and with a swift motion, she took him inside her.
He groaned, holding her waist. She remained still for a moment, holding him inside her. As he gazed up, meeting her eyes, she brushed her hair out of her face and smiled. It was a mischievous smile, one full of excitement and lust. “You ready?”
“You need to ask?”
She laughed, a throaty sexy sound that spiked his d
esire. Then she lifted and moved, and he stopped thinking. All he could do was hold on to her and watch her. Heidi never pretended. One of the things he liked so much about her was that she wasn’t afraid to be who she was. Even though she’d held herself away from him since she’d met him, she’d never been afraid to say what was on her mind. She gave everything her all.
The same as she did now.
She rode him with abandon, without any pretense or self-consciousness. It was as if all the barriers around her went down and she could only be in the moment.
He found it completely intoxicating.
As her movements became more insistent, he gritted his teeth, fighting his own release as he watched her. When she broke apart in his arms, he followed her over the edge. As she calmed and fell forward, collapsing against him, he listened to her heartbeat, completely humbled by her openness.
Stroking her back as their breathing slowed, he closed his eyes, pulling her closer.
This woman, with her capacity for honesty, didn’t deserve him putting her at risk. He wouldn’t burden her with this, not now, after she’d been through so much already tonight.
But tomorrow, he was going to make things right. He’d go to Jesse Broadridge, tell him what he knew.
He’d waited too long.
Chapter 12
Normally, Heidi woke up cold. She’d have to wear socks to sleep or her feet would be freezing. This morning, as the sun came through the window of her room, she was deliciously comfortable in her bed.
Sighing, she burrowed deeper into her pillow, tucking the blanket closer around herself. As she wriggled down, her legs tangled with another’s.
Dak.
She stilled. That’s right. Squeezing her eyes, she recalled visions of last night’s marathon sex in vivid detail. After the first session on the couch, they’d wanted food. She didn’t have much, because cooking for one wasn’t any fun. But she’d had some appetizers and snacks, fruit. They’d ended up feeding each other, which led to more kissing and eventually, sex against the counter and on the floor.
After that, the exhaustion had taken her. Dak had gathered her against him, lifted her and carried her into her room as if she weighed nothing. He’d tucked her in, kissing her softly on the forehead. Pulling away, he murmured, “What time should I pick you up for work in the morning?”
“No,” she mumbled, so drowsy she was slurring her words.
Dropping down next to her, still naked, he ran a finger along her cheek. “You don’t have a car, baby.”
“I’ll call for a rental. But that’s not what I mean. I meant, no, you aren’t leaving.” She kissed his neck. “And don’t call me baby.”
“I’ve been calling you baby all night. It didn’t bother you before.” He chuckled, dropping a kiss on her mouth. She lifted her hand, pulling him closer, and the kiss deepened.
“Girl’s prerogative,” she whispered as she pulled away, still stroking his hair. “Please stay.”
He searched her eyes, and she wondered what he could see. He could probably tell that she didn’t want to be alone tonight, but did he guess the rest of it? That she didn’t want the night to end, that she didn’t want whatever reality would await them in the morning to interfere?
The entire night had been a reawakening. She’d forgotten how sexual she was, how much she craved physical contact. Why had she tried to push him away? He was an amazing lover. Generous, open, and attentive. And she’d sensed that connection between them from the day they met.
She’d been afraid.
Now, in the morning light, she wondered if she was still afraid.
Yes. At least a little. But she wasn’t going to keep hiding. She’d done enough of that, and it wasn’t a life she was suited to. She needed people, friends—and love.
Not that she was in love with Dak. She wouldn’t be that foolish. They’d only known each other a short time. They’d been on one date.
But, maybe she could fall in love with him.
Someday.
“I know you’re awake.”
She grinned, snuggling closer. “What gave me away?”
“You stiffened up.” He pulled her closer, his hand tucked against her stomach under her breast. “What’s on your mind?”
She didn’t want to talk about what was on her mind. Instead, she rolled over and wrapped her arms around him, pulling his mouth down.
He paused, an inch or two from kissing her. “Sure you want to do this? Are we close enough to manage morning breath?”
She ducked her chin before she laughed, to avoid catching him in the face. Then she shifted, and climbed out of bed. Holding out her hand to him, she smiled. “Come on, then, hot stuff. Let’s hit the shower.”
In the bathroom, she gave him a spare toothbrush and they both made quick work of it. Then, she turned on the shower and they climbed in.
She pressed her hand to the shower wall, preparing to drop down to her knees. Watching him last night had been a complete turn on, so she’d been looking forward to doing it again. But, he gripped her wrists, stopping her. With a gentle pull, he turned her so her back faced the spray, curved his hand around her neck and dropped his mouth to hers.
God, she would never get enough of kissing Dak. Everything about the curve of his mouth fit against hers. He sensed when she wanted him to deepen or when she wanted to remain soft. Just another way in which he was in tune with her.
He pulled back, his hands reaching for the soap. He lathered up and then ran his hands all over her.
The slide of his soaping fingers along her body had her arching into him. If she was a cat she’d purr. She’d always been such a sucker for a massage, a back rub, any sort of touch. She craved it, and Dak seemed to get that. He found every nook and cranny, pressing his fingertips into every part of her he could reach. The entire time, his muscled body rubbed against her, amping up her desire.
Moaning, she reached for him, desperate to touch him, too, to get him as worked up as she was. “Please, Dak. Let me—”
“Hold on there, baby. I’m getting there.” He angled them, rinsing the soap off her. Like the rest of this sensual shower, though, he was incredibly thorough about the job, making absolutely certain he’d gotten every part of her.
By the time he finished and dropped down in front of her, she didn’t know if her arms and legs could hold her.
With firm hands, he pressed her thighs apart and dropped his mouth on the wettest part of her.
She cried out, leaning her back into the shower wall, her hands splayed against the cool tiles as she attempted to balance herself, even as he drove every logical thought from her mind.
Her orgasm screamed through her, and her body shook with the force of it. He held her as she trembled, softening his tongue and lips as she calmed.
Getting to his feet, he spun the shower knob to turn it off.
Her legs were wobbly, and she caught her balance on the wall as she stepped out. He folded her in one of her fluffy towels before he reached for his own.
“I didn’t get a chance to clean you off.”
“We’ll save it for next time,” he said, swooping her into his arms. She wanted to argue that she could walk herself. This was the second time she’d let him carry her somewhere, and she never pictured herself as the kind of girl who would like that. But, somehow, in Dak’s arms, it made so much sense.
As he laid her on the bed, he pulled the towel halves apart, staring at her in the sunlight from the windows. She’d never been a shy girl, and something about the heat in his eyes said she had nothing to worry about.
“You don’t happen to have another one of those condoms, do you?”
She grinned, nudging her head toward the side table. “You’re lucky I’m prepared.”
“Oh, I’m prepared. I just like that you are, too. And I didn’t want to run back to the living room to ge
t in my pants.” He reached in the drawer as she laughed. Of course he’d been prepared. Wasn’t he a firefighter? Preparedness was part of the job.
After he’d made short work of the precautions, he positioned himself between her thighs on his knees. Kneeling like that, his gorgeous body was on display for her. From the wide shoulders, coated in muscles, down to those amazing abs and across those thick thighs, she’d never seen such a beautiful man. But what made her desperate for him wasn’t his killer body, but the soft look in his whiskey eyes.
“Come inside me,” she whispered.
He didn’t need any additional coaxing. Reaching down, he cupped her backside in his palms, easily positioning himself at her entrance and pressing in.
Once again, she was struck by his size, but also the way they seemed to fit one another. Like puzzle pieces. As he found a rhythm, she wrapped her legs around him, running her hands over his body, giving herself over to him again.
They found their release together, and she called his name. When it ended, they curled up again. She glanced at the clock as her eyes closed. She’d need another shower and she’d be late for work. But it was going to be worth it.
After they’d caught their breath, she dropped a kiss on his cheek, scooting back to stand. He grasped her wrist, stopping her. “We need to tell someone about my brother.”
The declaration sucked the lighthearted feeling out of the room. Attempting to restore it, she patted his cheek. “Is this your idea of post coital conversation? Because maybe you need to work on this.”
“I’m serious.” He propped himself on his elbow, the sheet falling to his waist. In the morning sunshine, he looked like some sort of Grecian god. “You could have been hurt last night.”