by Piper Rayne
We arrive at the penthouse and I’m surprised that my parents have said nothing.
“Annabelle can stay here. I’m going out by myself. Britney needs to answer some questions before she sees her.” I walk upstairs to my childhood room.
Lena slides in right behind me, sitting on the bed. “I think you need to remember Annabelle does need a mother in her life. I know you’re angry but—”
I take off my pajama pants and Lena lowers her head, covering her eyes. “You’ve seen my dick already.”
“I know, but we’re not like—”
“We’re engaged. Technically my dick is still yours.”
She keeps covering her eyes. “Don’t be so vulgar.”
“You liked it when I was vulgar,” I remind her, and her cheeks flush.
“Well, now we’re just friends.”
“I’d rather be a real couple who were still fucking.”
“Let’s just stay on task.”
I pull on a pair of jeans and take off my shirt. She’s back to looking at me and I don’t miss the way her eyes flare when she looks at my chest. Hell, at least I know she’s still physically attracted to me.
“You can do more than just look.”
Her shoulders fall and she whines, “Ford, you have more important things to deal with right now than getting your dick inside me.”
“Keep talking dirty to me,” I egg her on, because it’s easier than dealing with what is going on downstairs. I have to address this situation that could change my daughter’s outlook on life. I can’t screw this up. I have to make sure I look out for her and do what’s best for her.
“She’s Annabelle’s mother.”
“Doesn’t deserve to be,” I say, throwing on a long-sleeve tee and reaching for a sweatshirt.
“Regardless,” her voice softens, “she is. She’s her one and only mother.”
And I know she has a point. Nothing will change that fact.
“You’re more of a mother to Annabelle than she is.” I sit on the bed next to Lena, desperate to pull her into my lap.
“Maybe, but in the end, she only has one true biological mother. And regardless of who you marry and who comes into her daily life, Annabelle’s going to want a relationship with her. At the very least she’ll want to know.” She places her hand on my shoulder.
“What do you expect me to do? Open my door after she just left her? And didn’t even give her to me, but to a friend while I had to play a hockey game?”
“Maybe it was all too much for her. Maybe she couldn’t handle the stress one more minute. I know it’s crazy, but you handled the transition so smoothly. Most new parents don’t adapt to change like you did.”
“I had no choice. She’s my daughter. My responsibility.”
Her eyes illuminate with a soft gaze. “You truly are remarkable.”
“Yet we’re not a couple,” I say dryly.
“Let’s table that conversation for right now. Go to Britney and straighten this out. If you want me to bring Annabelle down to meet you, let me know. I’m happy to.” She stands and I follow suit.
My hand cradles her head and my thumb brushes her cheekbone. “You’re the amazing one. You should be wishing she’d go away. The three of us could be a family.”
She shakes her head. “We can make a bigger circle for our family if need be.”
“Are you admitting that there’s a chance of us being a family?”
“I never said I didn’t want it. I simply voiced my concern.”
I step closer. “Then give me a shot. Give me a shot to convince you.”
“You shouldn’t need to do that. I should believe you.”
She continues to blame herself while I know I’m the cause of her doubt. Aiden’s right. She saw way too much shit about me.
She adds, “I’m going to see my dad again today.”
“Oh?” I’ve yet to remove my hand from her face and I don’t want to.
“I didn’t say that because I expect you to come. I just wanted you to know. In case the Britney thing runs late.”
“I want to go with you,” I say.
She shakes her head. “No, he doesn’t even remember me.”
“I’m going.”
“Go take care of your business first.”
I groan and kiss her on the forehead. “Thanks for talking sense into me.”
She laughs. “A few months ago, you would have kicked me out and said how wrong I was.”
“What can I say? I didn’t realize how much I loved a bossy, uptight woman back then.”
She shakes her head and steps away, my hand dropping between us. I watch her leave the room before I grab my wallet and head out.
Britney’s at the corner by the entrance to Central Park, her arms wrapped around herself. She doesn’t have any luggage or bags with her. It’s hard to believe it was only a few months ago that I agreed to the fake engagement and walked Annabelle through here to see the vibrant colors of fall. Now the trees are bare and there’s a soft dusting of snow on the ground.
I jog across the street to join Britney.
“I’m sorry for showing up like that. I just had to see her. It’s Christmas,” she says by way of explanation.
“You could’ve called me.” I nod to start walking through the park, and I have no idea if it’s to get her away from Annabelle or just because I need to walk.
We end up by the pond and sit on the bench.
“How is she?” Britney asks.
“She’s good.”
“Your fiancée? When I heard it was Lena, I was surprised, to say the least. Does Annabelle think she’s…” Her voice becomes choked up.
Britney met Lena a few times to handle the PR when it first hit the press that I was going to be a father.
“She’s six months old, she doesn’t think anything. But she does like Lena.”
“That’s good. I mean—”
“What do you want?” I ask, needing to get to the point.
She shifts to face me more. “I want to see her. I think I made a mistake. I’m her mother.”
“You are her mother, but what’s changed from when you walked out on her?”
“I saw the pictures. All three of you in the magazine.”
I stand, annoyed that my suspicions were correct. This is a jealousy thing. Gavin’s pictures of Lena, Annabelle, and me came out yesterday.
I take a few steps away then circle back. “Is that why you’re here? Jealousy? If you can’t have her, no one should?” My voice is like venom, and I hate hearing it, but I have to protect Annabelle right now.
“I’m not jealous. Not of the family. But seeing the picture of your fiancée giving Annabelle a gift and her eyes are all lit up like she’s giving her the fucking moon… it stung. I won’t deny it.” She takes out her gloves and puts them on before holding her hands together in her lap.
“She’s not a toy you can pick up and play with when you feel like it. Either you’re in or you’re out of her life.”
She nods. “I’m in.”
I sit on the bench, remembering what Lena said. Britney is Annabelle’s mother whether I like it or not. No one can replace her in Annabelle’s life. “Are you one hundred percent sure?”
She stares at the pond that’s yet to freeze over because it’s too early in the season. “Yes.”
“Then I think we should have papers drawn up. A custody agreement.”
“With lawyers?”
“Yeah.” I run a hand through my hair. “Where are you living right now?”
“Pittsburgh. Back with my parents. I don’t have the money to live in Florida.”
“You had a place, remember? I was paying for it.”
She nods a couple times. “I know, but when people figured out I was the mother of your baby, I didn’t like the attention. Some people were really mean.”
I shrug. “People can be assholes.”
We’re both silent for a beat.
“Can I see her?” she asks.
No is on the tip of my tongue, but it’s not going to make a difference to Annabelle right now.
“Yes, but after that, I want you to really think about this, Britney. Do you want to be in her life? If you do, then let’s figure something out, but if you can’t commit to being a constant presence, then please think about her needs and her well-being. I won’t allow her to be hurt.”
She nods eagerly.
I pull out my phone and message Lena that we’re coming up to the penthouse.
“Let’s go.” I stand and nod in the direction of the building.
“Do you think she’ll even remember me?” she asks, and I can tell she’s nervous now.
I want to answer honestly and say probably not, but I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out.”
Each step closer to the building, I want to put my hand across her chest to stop her from moving forward, to spare my daughter the pain of a mother who might abandon her. How do I allow Britney into Annabelle’s life if she’s only going to destroy her? Britney left her once. Who’s to say she won’t do it again? It’s then I realize that I now understand what Lena’s been concerned about with me this whole time.
The elevator dings and we all stare at one another, Imogen looking as if she might blow her gasket. Annabelle is oblivious, sitting in Mrs. Jacobs’ lap while Morgan shows her how to play with one of the toys she got for Christmas.
The deep inhale behind me a second later tells me they’ve arrived. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to stand up and demand Britney leave, but I meant what I said to Ford. She’s Annabelle’s mother and nothing will change that. Sure, someone can step into the role of mother for her and heal the wound Britney might leave, but she’s still the woman who gave Annabelle life.
“Annabelle,” Britney whispers, coming across the room.
“Gutsy,” Imogen says a little too loudly, but if Britney heard her, she doesn’t show it.
Britney stops in front of Mrs. Jacobs. I’ve never known Ford’s mom to be mean, but she has a murderous expression right now. Britney picks up Annabelle off Mrs. Jacobs’ lap and holds Annabelle, singing a song I don’t know, twirling her around the room.
At first Annabelle is looking around, unsure, and her gaze stops on her dad.
Imogen huffs next to me. “Sure, she doesn’t cry with her.”
I watch Ford intently. His jaw is tense, his teeth clenched, but he’s not stopping Britney.
“She’s gotten so big,” Britney says, more to herself than anyone else, I think.
“That’s what happens when you vanish,” Imogen says, bitterness in her tone.
Mrs. Jacobs stands. “I’ll get more coffee.”
Mr. Jacobs follows her. I’m surprised that a man who wants to be so involved in everything has no say about what is transpiring right now.
I pat Imogen’s leg. “I think I’m going to go get dressed.”
She grabs my hand, stopping me, and leans in. “You need to protect your spot in this family.”
I shake my head. “I’m not fearful of my spot.” The words ring true to me. I don’t have one ounce of fear that Ford would want Britney. And I do believe she should have a role in Annabelle’s life as long as it can be consistent.
Imogen looks at me as though I’m crazy. “Why?”
I look across the room at Ford and he’s staring back at me, clearly unsure what he should be doing. Like watching his daughter with Britney is a car accident he can’t strip his eyes away from. A small part of me somehow knows that I need to go to him and tell him this will all work out. Give him the reassurance he’s lacking. He’s not used to facing things outside of his control.
I smile at Imogen and go to leave the room, squeezing Ford’s shoulder on my way past.
He follows me out of the room then stops me with his hand on my wrist, tugging me back to him.
“You’re leaving?” he asks in a hushed voice.
“I think it’s better if I’m not around. I’m going to head out. Should be beautiful on Christmas morning.”
He frowns. “But I want you here.”
I place my hand on his chest. “You don’t need me here, Ford. Let Britney spend some time with her daughter. See what she’s really here for. Having me here will only complicate matters.”
He stares at me for a beat, not saying anything. Then he slides my hair behind my ear, leans in and whispers, “Thank you.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You make me a better person.”
“Ford, you are a good person.” I place my hand over his heart. “Trust yourself.”
We stare at one another for a moment, but Britney screeches, stripping our attention away.
“She spit up on her,” I hear Imogen say then laughs. “I guess we should’ve told you she just ate.”
Ford places a chaste kiss on my lips then returns to the room to help and I decide this is my opportunity to sneak out.
I sit on the couch and watch Britney play with Annabelle, but all I can think about is Lena. I hate that she felt she needed to leave. Britney’s appearance must be hard for her too and instead of assuring her things are okay between the two of us and it doesn’t matter that Britney is here, I’m making sure this woman doesn’t kidnap our daughter.
“Her smile is like yours,” Britney says, looking at me. “What do you think she got from me?”
My entire family has left the room by now, none of them wanting to deal with this. Hell, back in the day, I would’ve hightailed it too.
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Come on. She has your eyes.” She raises Annabelle in the air.
I’ve noticed that since it’s been just the two of us, Britney seems to be much more her old self and less the heartbroken mother.
“You’re so lucky, your daddy gets a lot of women because of those eyes,” she coos at Annabelle. Britney smiles at me, setting Annabelle in her lap. “So you’re engaged? I never thought I’d see the day.”
I nod.
“What, can’t you talk to me about her?”
I shrug. “Don’t want to is more like it.”
She huffs. “If we’re going to co-parent, you have to be civil to me.”
I glance at my watch. “I am. I had a pressing appointment I missed in order to allow you to visit with Annabelle. That’s pretty damn civil, if you ask me.”
She strips her gaze from me. “Do you think this is easy?”
“Did you think it was easy for me when I had to play an entire hockey game knowing my child’s mother had left her and I was now solely responsible?”
She shakes her head. “I wasn’t in a good space. I missed my old life.”
I remain silent, collecting my thoughts. Lena’s words ring in my ear once again, reminding me that regardless of the fact that I loathe what Britney did to our daughter, she is still her mother. “And now?”
“I want to be a mother to her.” I hear the but in her tone, so I wait for her to finish. “But will you let me?”
“It’s not up to me.”
She sets Annabelle in her bouncy chair, securing her in. Then Britney crawls toward me. “Are you happy, Ford? I heard that the marriage thing might be a sham?”
I watch her come toward me, wondering what the fuck she thinks she’s doing. “They don’t know what they’re talking about. I’m very happy.”
My gaze falls to Annabelle. She’s enthralled with the spinning bunny on the bar across from her. She keeps hitting it to make it twirl and she watches it before doing it again.
“We could be a family. Raise her together.” Britney sits back on her ankles in front of me, sliding her hands up my thighs. “I hate the idea of moving her from house to house. Not being able to spend holidays with her.”
I wiggle out of her hold, but she’s got me caged in. Her one hand slowly inches up my thigh.
I put a hand over hers to stop her. “There is no us.” My voice is ice cold.
She raises up on her feet. �
��We were good together. Remember the night we were together?”
Sadly, I was half in the bag. More than half, if I’m being honest.
She sits in my lap and wraps her arms around my neck.
“Get off me,” I bite out.
“You haven’t stopped me yet. There must be a reason for that?” Her voice is low and breathy.
“The reason is that I don’t want my daughter to think I’m aggressive with women.” I take her arms and unwind them from around my neck, but she puts them right back and tightens her grip. “I’m not interested. That option isn’t on the table.”
I stand to get her off, but she hangs on me like a monkey. “She’s not your type.”
“And let me guess, you are?” I try to get her hands from around my neck, but seriously what does she do, vise grip exercises? I lose my footing and stumble, ending up on top of her on the couch.
“I can give you the kind of thrills she can’t.” She locks one leg around mine, then another. I feel as though I’m stuck in an octopus with no hope of escaping.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Let go of me now.”
Then the elevator doors ding. I push off the couch using every bit of my strength to free myself right as Lena turns the corner to take in the scene.
Of course, it couldn’t be Imogen or Morgan. It had to be Lena. Fuck my life.
Lena splashes on a fake-as-shit smile. “Looks like you two are getting along great. I’ll leave you alone.” Then she heads up the stairs—assuming I was just what? Fucking around with Britney in front of Annabelle? Is that how low she actually thinks of me?
“You need to leave,” I say, picking up Annabelle from the bouncy chair.
“No,” Britney whines. “You can’t be serious? You’re going to run after her? Since when do you do that?” Her voice is full of anger.
I pause with my hands under Annabelle. That’s why Britney ran, left Annabelle with me. She’d tried seducing me a few nights before she left. Except she was much pushier, had lingerie on and the whole bit. Wanted to strip me down and give me a lap dance. All of which I denied and left.