by Kaylee Ryan
“Yes.”
“You’re being very… honest and open about all of this. I don’t sense you trying to sway me in any one direction.”
“I will always be honest and open with you. I have nothing to hide. I’ve regretted that last night, the one I was late for, since the moment I found out you had checked out of the B&B. I wasn’t honest with you or myself until it was too late. I vowed to never be that guy again.”
“So… we slept together that first night? Sorry, I know that’s what you said, but that’s not me. Not the me I am now. I just… I’m trying to wrap my head around all of this.”
“Yes. However, I’d also like to note that we were both drinking, but neither one of us were too drunk that we couldn’t make an informed decision about what we were doing. Our chemistry was palpable.”
“And after that?”
“You were home for a week. We spent any time I wasn’t at work together until you went back to school. We texted here and there, and then when you came home for spring break, you called me. We met up, and the cycle began.”
“We were dating, but not dating.” She laughs and my shoulders relax.
“Pretty much. We never talked about it. We didn’t label it. We were just… us.”
“You said you came to see me. When?”
“I tried calling you for a few weeks. Calling, sending text messages, but you didn’t reply. I went to your parents’ place to ask for your address at school. I was coming to you. I couldn’t stand the silence. I couldn’t stand the fact that you thought I didn’t want you. It was my fault. I let my worries and my fear keep me from you, and then you were gone back to school.” I go on to tell her the conversation I had with her mom about her moving on and moving in with her new boyfriend. “It wasn’t two weeks later the moving trucks rolled in and your parents moved away. It was… I assumed from what your mother told me, to be closer to you and your fiancé.” I’ll never forget that day and the way her mother’s words affected me. As if I’d been punched in the gut.
“This is a lot to take in. I have you sitting here showing me this picture and answering questions without hesitation, and then I have the version of what my mother told me about you and our relationship.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I think we should have a paternity test done, but I’m pretty sure I know what the results are going to be. Kendrix looks just like you.”
“Except for your baby blues,” I say softly. “She’s mine,” I say with conviction. “I can feel it, Delaney.” She smiles gently, and I can’t imagine what she’s been going through, thinking I didn’t want her. “What did they tell you? About me?”
“How much time do you have?”
“All night. I have some chili in the Crock-Pot. Are you hungry?”
“Is that what smells so good? It smells amazing.”
“Come on, let’s get you fed, and you can tell me your story.” Standing, I hold my hand out for her and she doesn’t hesitate to take it, allowing me to help her stand from her corner of the couch. Not willing to let her go just yet, I place my hand on the small of her back and lead her to the kitchen. She takes a seat at the small table, and I commit the image to memory. It’s been too long since she’s been here. Not just in my condo, but in this town. I just hope I can convince her to stay. If not, I have a big choice to make. I don’t want to miss anymore time with my daughter.
Chapter 5
Delaney
Sitting across from Kent at his small kitchen table, I feel more at home than I have ever been. I don’t remember this place, so it must be him. About six months after my accident, I started to see him in my dreams. We never spoke, but he was always there, offering me his hand, trying to get me to come with him. To follow him. I always wake up before I see where he wants me to go. It’s frustrating as hell.
“So…,” he says, letting that one word hang between us. We’re strangers, yet from our conversation earlier, we’re not. It’s all very overwhelming.
“My accident happened when I was driving back to school; at least, that’s what they tell me. I was in a coma for two weeks, and when I woke up, the doctor informed me that I was pregnant. I didn’t know my family. I didn’t know anyone. I had no recollection of my life before that day.”
“I can’t begin to imagine what that felt like.”
“Scary, overwhelming. I was lost and defeated. My parents brought in photo albums and told me stories, but it was like I was talking to strangers.”
“Did you ever remember them?”
“Yeah, about a month after the accident, I woke up and it was like a lightbulb came on inside my head. I remember everything up to my high school graduation. After that, those years are lost.”
“Do they know why?” he asks.
“The doctors have a theory.” I’m biding my time. Kent seems like a great guy, and what I say next will hurt him if my suspicions are correct. However, I owe him the same honesty that he’s given me.
“Is that something you can share with me?”
“I can.” I nod. “I’m just not sure that I should.”
“You can trust me, Delaney.” The deep timbre of his voice seeps into my soul, and I can just feel that the words he speaks are true.
“It’s not about trust. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m a big boy. I can take it.”
“The doctors think that I’m suppressing the memories because they’re too painful.”
“Is that what you think?”
“Before today, yeah, I did.” They had me convinced, and I didn’t know otherwise.
“And now?”
“Now, I’m not so sure. Now I feel as though they, meaning my parents, toyed with me. They made me believe the version they wanted.” It was more my mother, but my father stayed silent on the matter. He’s guilty by association. He’s gone, and I hate that I’ll never get to ask him why.
“What did they tell you?”
“When the doctor told me I was pregnant, and it was obvious that my memory was gone, Mom told me that you left me. That I told you about the baby and you told me to end it and that you never wanted to see me again. Well, I say you, but my ‘man friend’ is how she referred to you. She refused to give me your name and told me I was better off without your hatred in my life.”
“I didn’t know. I promise you, if I had known, I wouldn’t have stopped until I found you.” Resting his elbows on the table, he runs his hands over his face. “I shouldn’t have taken her word for it. I knew she hated me, but when you didn’t reply to any of my calls or messages, I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what I would have wanted. I’m… confused. I don’t know why my mother would do this.”
“Earlier, you said she hated the name Kendrix?”
“Yes. She was pissed at me for weeks. She still refuses to call her that. It’s always Grandma’s girl or something. She rarely uses her given name unless she’s scolding her.”
“Kendrix, Kenton, they have a nice ring to them,” he says, giving me a smile.
I appreciate that he’s trying to lighten the mood with all the heavy that surrounds us. “They have similarities,” I agree with him. “Look, I don’t know you, and I’m sorry I don’t remember our time together. If you are her father, I won’t keep her from you.”
“I’m her father.”
“How are you so certain? Dark hair and similar facial features could just be a coincidence.”
“It’s not. You told me you had something to tell me that night. I was afraid you were going to tell me that you were in love with me. I didn’t know what to say. I only wanted you, but I’d never said those words to a woman, unless you count my mom. I was scared of what I felt for you and I didn’t face it. I was leaving to meet you when the guys called asking me to meet up for a beer. I went there first. I sat at the table nursing a beer all night, my mind constantly on you. I’m sorry about that. I should have been there for you. I made you think you weren’t important to me, and that
’s not what it was. I was an idiot.”
“I wouldn’t know.” I shrug as if I’m letting his words bounce off my shoulders. The truth is, the sincerity of his words penetrates my soul. After thinking for years he had cast me aside, it’s nice to sit face-to-face and learn that wasn’t the case at all. He loved me.
“I want to be in her life. I want to hear about your pregnancy and delivery. I want to know her first words and when she took her first steps. I want to know it all. I’ve missed so much.”
“Don’t you think we should have the test done first?”
“No. She’s mine.”
“I think we should have the test done before you meet her. She’s going to be five in a couple of months. She’s smart and picks up on things quickly. She’s asked me already where her daddy is.”
“W-What did you tell her?”
“That Daddy lived far away with his family and couldn’t be with us.” He gives me a “really” look. “I panicked. It’s not like I wanted to tell her my mother’s version of the story. I couldn’t tell her that her father told me to end my pregnancy. I had to think of something. I didn’t have my own memory, and I refused to make her think less of you. Not without me knowing, without me remembering the truth. That’s all I could come up with when she put me on the spot.” I always hoped my memory would come back. I would have my own version, my own words and memories to help make her understand.
“When can we do the test? I have five years to make up for.”
“She and my mother are flying in on Thursday.”
“What time?”
“Kent, I don’t want you to meet her until the test is done.”
“Schedule it,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’ve missed enough time with her. In fact, I’ll schedule it. What time does their flight land?”
“They should be here early afternoon.”
He nods. “I’ll look into having someone come to you. I don’t want her scared by going to the hospital.”
“Do they do that?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”
“I’m sure it’s expensive.”
“Don’t care.”
We sit in silence. Our bowls of chili have long since been emptied, and I’m sure, like me, he’s trying to wrap his head around today. It’s been information overload. I don’t know what to think or what to feel. My mother, I don’t know why she would do this to me. Then there’s my dad. He was always the quiet one. He never said much, but I do remember him standing up for me when Kendrix was born. My mom was angry, and when I say angry, not just “oh woe is me… I’m disappointed in you.” She was pissed and didn’t talk to me for three full days when I named my daughter.
“How long are you here for?”
“Just overseeing the renovations. However long that takes.”
“And Kendrix?” he asks. I swear the way he says her name with reverence, it does something to me. It makes me want to believe him and everything he’s said, but then there’s my mother.
“She’ll be here with me.”
“Where’s home to you? California?”
Home. Again, I’m hit with the fact that I feel more at home here in his kitchen than I have since the day I woke up after the accident. I’m not even going to think about why that might be. “Yeah.”
“You selling once the reno is done? Have you thought about maybe sticking around? Making Tennessee home?”
“I think we’re jumping the gun just a little, don’t you think? I mean, come on. You have a theory that since we were sleeping together, that my daughter is yours. I don’t know you. You could be making all of this up. There will be no discussions of moving or visitation or anything else related to my daughter until your theory is proven.” I wait for him to balk and back down, but he does the opposite.
“Good. I’ll pay them to put a rush on the results. I refuse to lose anymore time with her.” He stands and takes both our empty bowls to the sink and rinses them off. I watch his muscles flex under his tight-fitting long-sleeved T-shirt while he loads them into the dishwasher. When he’s finished his task, he turns and leans against the counter, crossing his ankles and his arms across his broad chest. “There will be visitations, and one of us is going to have to move. I will not lose anymore time with her.” His voice is stern and his jaw is set.
He really believes he’s her father. “I’m ready to go home now.” I stand and push in my chair, taking my glass to the sink. “Thank you for having me.” Turning, I walk toward the living room, slide into my boots and coat, and wait for him to join me.
The ride home is silent and filled with tension. The few times I glanced at Kent, I could see the white of his knuckles from the lights on the dash of his truck. His jaw is set, and I’m sure his mind is racing as he tries to process today. I know mine is.
He pulls up to the front door in the circular drive, and I reach for the door handle. His hand on my arm stops it. Then again, maybe it’s his gravelly voice as he says my name.
“Delaney.”
I freeze as my eyes find his in the dimly lit cab. “I’m sorry.”
“No.” His voice is gruff as he shakes his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I should have been there. That night. I promised you I was going to meet you there and I wasn’t. This is all on me.” He swallows hard, his dark eyes boring into me. “I’m going to make it up to you. To both of you. I want you, both of you in my life. I know you don’t remember me.” He stops as his hand moves from my arm to cradle my cheek, and I can’t seem to stop my body’s reaction to him as I lean into his touch. “I don’t care where I have to go, or what I have to do. I’m going to be there. You hear me, Laney?” He leans in close and presses his forehead to mine. “I’m going to be there for both of you. No matter what.”
“I should go.” I pull away with great effort, and pull on the handle climbing out of the truck. By the time I manage to climb out and get my door shut, he’s there, standing next to me. Hand on the small of my back, he walks me to the door.
“Thank you for letting me talk, to spend time with you. I’m calling first thing tomorrow for a lab. I’ll let you know what I find out.”
“How are you so certain? This is all so unexpected. I mean, come on, what are the odds that you, the man I see in my dreams, are the father of my daughter?”
“The odds are unexpected, but the best things in life are uncertain.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because you’re uncertain about me, about the paternity of our daughter, and I know that the two of you in my life will be the best thing that has ever happened to me.” With that, he leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Good night, Laney.” Shoving his hands in his front pockets, he steps back and waits for me to be safely inside before jogging back to his truck.
I peek through the blinds and watch until I can no longer see his taillights. My hand touches my cheek where his lips just were, and I can still feel them, soft yet firm, pressed against my skin.
What I did tonight was dangerous and out of character for me. I allowed a strange man to pick me up and take me back to his place. I don’t know him, even though in my gut, it feels like I do. It’s not just my gut, but his eyes; they tell me more than anything that we meant something to each other. I need to call my mother. I need to confront her, but part of me wants to sit on this new information for a few days. Maybe, the more time I’m here, my memories will come back to me. Maybe I won’t need my mother’s story or Kenton’s. I’ll have my own.
Chapter 6
Kent
When my alarm finally sounds at 6:00 a.m., I’ve been awake for hours. I finally managed to fall asleep sometime after one in the morning, only to wake back up at two thirty. I’ve been lying here in bed ever since. I’m not tired. My mind is racing and I can’t seem to shut it off.
She was here.
In my house.
She had my baby.
She can’t remember me.
Never in my wildest
dreams could I ever have imagined that this would be our outcome. That the woman I love, have loved for years, doesn’t remember our time together. I knew that a part of me would always be hers, with how deeply she burrowed herself under my skin all those years ago. However, seeing her now, knowing what I know, knowing that her daughter is mine, it’s clear to me that it’s more than just a piece of me that’s hers. It’s all of me. Everything I am.
Rushing through a shower, and a pot of coffee later, I’m loaded up and heading to the shop. The lab doesn’t open until eight, and that’s about the time we’ll get on the jobsite. I’ll just have to step away to make the call. I’m not putting this off. I want the test and I want my daughter.
Pulling into the shop, I’m the last to arrive. Good, that’s how I wanted this to go down. Less time for idle chitchat. Instead of going inside, I hop into Ridge’s truck just like yesterday. I’ve barely got the door shut before the guys come filing out of the office. Seth is last, of course, just like always. Not that I can blame him. If Delaney worked here, I’d always be last too.
“Mornin’,” Ridge says, climbing behind the wheel.
“I need to call the lab at eight.” I blurt the words like a confession.
“Good plan.” He puts the truck in Drive and pulls out of the lot, pointing us toward the Nottingham Estate. Pointing us toward Delaney.
“She’s mine.” I already told him this yesterday, but I need to say it again. Out loud to someone I know. It’s almost as if I need to claim her, claim both of them publicly since my dumbass let that opportunity pass me by last time. Never again.
“How did last night go?”
“Fine.” I run my fingers through my hair. “She came over, we had dinner, we talked. I told her my version of the story, and she told me the version her mother told her. Her mother never liked me. Never approved of us being together. It all makes sense. The timeline fits.”
“And how does Delaney feel about all of this?”
“Fuck, man. Angry, confused. She doesn’t know me, Ridge. She doesn’t remember our time together. I had a picture of us, one we took the last time we were together. It’s the only one I’ve ever allowed myself to keep of us, as a reminder. I showed it to her and could see the confusion and the disbelief in her eyes.”