by Kaylee Ryan
“Why do you say that?” I ask, my heart racing. My palms are sweaty as I stand here and learn things about the man who, from what I’m told, I was close to all those years ago.
“He’s always been holding back. He’s happy, loves his nieces and nephews, is always there if we need him, no matter what, but there’s still been this… quietness about him. It’s hard to explain, but I thought it was worth mentioning.”
“Can I ask why? Why mention it now? To me?” I’m confused about what she’s trying to tell me. She’s being cryptic in a sense, and I can’t seem to figure out where she’s going with all of this.
“I mention it now because it’s gone. The quietness is gone. There’s nothing there but a full heart and eyes full of hope.”
“Oh.”
She smiles. “Yeah, and you want to know when things changed for him?”
I can’t speak, and even if I could, I’m afraid my reply wouldn’t be friendly. I don’t need to know, and I don’t want to know. Not if it means that he’s moved on. Is that what she’s saying? He says differently, but damn it, what do I know? How do I know who to trust? This is all so messed up.
“The moment he found you again. You’re good for him. I hope you’re thinking about sticking around. We’d miss him, and we just lost a member of our family. I don’t know that we can go through that again.”
“What? Is he sick?”
“No, Delaney, but he’s a good man. If you leave here, if you go back to California, he’s going to follow you. And when I say follow you, I don’t mean to visit. I mean, he’s going to leave here and go with you.”
“This is his home.” Surely, he wouldn’t just pack up and leave just like that. Would he?
She points to where Kent is sitting on the floor with Kendrix in his lap. “She’s his home, his heart, and her momma too. Just… consider your options and his. What each of you would be leaving behind.”
“We don’t have the results back yet,” I say, trying to stall my mind from going into overdrive to decipher our conversation.
“We don’t need them to know the truth. He’s adamant, and she looks like him. She’s the perfect mix of the two of you. You all make pretty babies,” she teases.
“Look at them.” Mara joins us with baby Ryder in her arms. “A bunch of softies.” She motions to where the men are sitting in a circle, kids on their laps as they play with building blocks.
“He’s adorable,” I say, reaching out to run my index finger on the top of Ryder’s little hand.
“Thank you. He’s our miracle baby.” She stares down at her son.
Had Reagan not filled me in, I wouldn’t have understood that statement, but I get it. The bond of this group is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
“Would one of you mind holding him? I need to use the restroom.”
“Babe!” Tyler calls out. “We need help.” He points to one of his sons and waves his hand in front of his face.
“We’re still potty training. Looks like I have an accident to attend to.” Reagan rushes off to help her husband.
“I’ll take him.” I hold my arms out for Mara to transfer Ryder to me. “Oh, my. It’s been a long time since I’ve held a little one. Hello, handsome.” I smile down at him. He’s wide awake, looking all around and taking in this raucous bunch.
I make my way to the other side of the living room and settle on the couch. Ryder and I snuggle. “What do you think about all of this, little man? Won’t be long and you’ll be joining in on all the fun.”
“God, what I wouldn’t give to be able to go back and see you like this with her, with our little girl.” Kent takes a seat next to me on the couch.
“Where’s Kendrix?” I glance up and at the group.
“She’s showing Kendall and Everly her birdhouse in her room.” He leans in and taps Ryder’s chin and he wiggles his little arms and legs, obviously recognizing his uncle Kent.
“I hate that you missed it all. We missed out too, you know. We could have had you all this time.”
“You want more?” Kent nods to the baby in my arms.
I nod in response. “Although I wasn’t sure it would even happen for me again. My life has revolved around Kendrix for so long. Between her and finishing my final year of college one class at a time, and working full-time as an independent graphic designer, there’s not exactly a lot of time to meet someone.”
“That’s the universe’s way of telling you you’ve already met him. It brought you here to me.”
“Do you smooth talk all the women like this?”
“What women?” He raises his eyebrows, challenging me.
“You know, the women you date.”
“We’ve talked about this. There hasn’t been anyone for me since you.”
“Surely you’ve, you know, hooked up, had a one-night stand, whatever.”
“Nope.”
“How is that possible?”
“I’ve dated, flirted, drove a couple of girls home from the bar, but I never slept with any of them.”
“What? Come on now. What happened to all that honesty stuff you were spewing at me? Does today not count? Or are you already dropping the ball on that one?” I regret the words as soon as they are out of my mouth. “I’m sorry,” I rush to add. “That was uncalled for. I’m just… you’re a lot to take in, Kenton Baldwin, and this is intense. You’re intense.”
“I made a vow to you and to myself and now to our daughter. All of me, 100 percent open and honest, no matter what. I won’t risk losing you again over something stupid.”
“I don’t live here,” I state the obvious, but Reagan’s little chat has been rolling over and over in my mind since I sat down.
“I know. We’ll figure it out.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means we will figure it out. Together.”
I don’t press him for more. Honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready for his truth serum. We just need to get past the next few days and get these results. The more time I spend with him, the more I want to. In the back of my mind, there is “what if.” What if we’re wrong? What if he’s not her father? Then what? There will be more pain for him, and for me. The fewer plans we make, the better off we are. Just in case.
What are the odds that fate brought us together? Then again, was it fate or my father? I block it out as best as I can and just try to enjoy the moments—all of the moments, soaking them up like a sponge. Regardless of what those results say, Kenton Baldwin is not a man you ever forget. I know I will never in my lifetime ever meet anyone like him, so I’m taking all the moments I can get and storing them away. Just in case.
Chapter 14
Kent
Today has been one I’ll never forget. Not ever. And tonight, well, it’s one for the books too. After everyone left, I stayed behind. I couldn’t seem to leave them. Kendrix asked me to watch a movie with her, and no way could I tell my little girl no. Delaney took care of pulling it up on her laptop and handed it to me. I took a seat on the couch, and Kendrix, she crawled right up on my lap and snuggled close to see the screen. When she called for her momma to come watch, well, that’s how we ended up where we are now.
My back is against the arm of the couch, Kendrix is on my lap and Delaney is snuggled in close to my side. We’re watching the movie on a laptop, so yeah, we have to be close in order to see it. Not that I’m complaining. I slipped my arm around Delaney’s shoulders about twenty minutes ago without reservation or complaint from her, and Kendrix, I’m holding her with the other. I have both my girls in my arms where they belong. So, as amazing as today was, with all my friends here, with my girls. Tonight, it’s just for us, and it’s not only a moment I will never forget but one I will cherish until the day I take my last breath.
“Again,” Kendrix says sleepily as the credits roll.
“No can do, little lady. It’s bedtime.”
“No. I’m not tired,” she says as she covers a yawn with her hand.
“Hey, I
was thinking. I’d like to take you and your mommy somewhere tomorrow. Somewhere really special. How does that sound?”
“We go now?” she asks.
“No, sweetheart. We have to get a good night’s sleep so we can go tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she concedes easily enough. “Will you read me a story?”
My chest tightens and a lump forms in my throat. “Yes,” I croak.
“Kendrix, why don’t you go get some jammies on and we’ll be there in a minute.”
“Don’t forget, Mr. Kent,” she tells me as she jumps off my lap and rushes down the hall.
“I-I couldn’t tell her no. I’m sorry. I know you didn’t want me— I couldn’t tell her no.”
“It’s fine. There’s no harm in you reading a bedtime story.”
I nod, suddenly nervous. I’ve done this reading gig to my nieces and nephews so many times, but tonight, it’s different. It’s more. It’s my little girl I’m going to be reading to. This is surreal, and really hits home that I’m a father. She’s a part of me, and always will be. That’s… incredible.
“Mr. Kent!” Kendrix yells out for me. “I’m weady.”
I smile. “I’ll be back, or do you want to come too?” I stand from the couch and ask Delaney.
“No. You go ahead.” She doesn’t say it, but I can see it in her eyes she’s giving me this moment. This special time with our daughter.
Leaning down, I place a kiss on the corner of her mouth. It’s the closest I’ve come to actually kissing her, and although I want that, I crave that connection with her, it’s going to have to wait. Not just because my little girl is waiting for me, but she needs to see it in writing. Delaney doesn’t remember, and she’s been told so many things, she needs to see it. I know she says she believes me, but she needs that hard evidence that what I say is true. Once we get that, all bets are off. I’m not staying away from either of them. I want them both in my life. Permanently.
With each step I take that carries me down the hall, the more nervous I become. My palms are sweating, and my knees, they’re a bit wobbly as I stand in the doorway of her room. The overhead light is off, and there is a dim glow from the bedside lamp. “Somebody need a bedtime story?” I ask.
“Me.” She raises her hand. “Come lay with me.”
Slowly, my feet carry me to the side of the bed. It’s a queen or maybe a full, and she’s so tiny sitting there all by herself. “This is a big bed for such a little girl.”
She giggles. “I love it. My grammy said it was extwa when she lived here.”
“Extra,” I correct her.
“That’s what I said.” She nods as if I need her agreement to believe her. “Lay with me.” She scoots over and pats the bed next to her.
Not needing to be told twice, I climb on the bed and rest my back against the headboard. She curls up next to me, resting her head on my chest, and we start to read. I change my voice, which makes her giggle, and I read slow, never wanting this moment to end. When I finally reach the last page, I look down, and she’s sound asleep. Without thinking, I press my lips to the top of her head and then carefully slide out from under her. I sit on the side of the bed and watch her sleeping. She’s peaceful and looks like a little angel. I don’t know how long I sit here and watch her sleep, but my phone vibrating in my pocket pulls me out of my trance.
Standing slowly, not wanting to make too much movement and wake her up, I pull my phone from my pocket and look at the screen. It’s a text message from Reagan. Clicking it, I see an image of Kendrix and me from earlier today. She’s sitting on my lap looking up at me. Her head is tilted back and we’re both smiling. In the background is Delaney. She’s watching us with a small smile playing on her lips, and the look in her eyes, it’s… longing? Hopeful?
Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I lean over and kiss Kendrix on the forehead. “Night, baby girl.” Daddy loves you. Soon. I’ll be able to say those words soon. Turning off the bedside lamp, I creep out of her room, pulling the door almost closed, leaving it open just a crack in case she needs something. I want Delaney to be able to hear her. I move to start down the hall and startle when I see Delaney sitting on the floor. Her back is against the wall, and her knees are bent, her arms hugging them to her chest as her head rests against them.
I take a seat next to her, stretching my long legs as far as they’ll go in this small hallway. “What’s going on?”
She’s quiet for several long minutes before turning her head to look at me. There are tears in her eyes. “This is all so… overwhelming, Kenton.” She’s back to using my full name. “How could my mother have done this? And worse, what if all that you’re saying is true, but you’re still not her father? Then what? I can’t remember,” she says as a tear slides down her cheek. “She is the most precious gift in my life, and I can’t remember a single second of her being conceived. And if she’s not yours… then… she has to be yours.”
“Come here.” I put my arm around her shoulders and she leans into me without hesitation. “That’s not the kind of person you were, Laney. You were loyal and loving, and you were the best thing to ever happen to me. I know this is hard for you, baby, and I’m trying to remember that you can’t, but I promise you that you were not sleeping with anyone else. That’s not who you were.”
“I hate this. I hate that you have all of these memories of us, and I have this… blank space. I have you in my dreams, holding your hand out to me, but I don’t know where you’re asking me to go. I hate that we lost you and everything we missed out on.”
“I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else to say. And in reality, I don’t think she needs me to say anything. I think she just needs me. I think she needs someone to hold her and let her cry out her frustrations. She needs someone who is on her side, no matter what, and I’m that guy. So we sit here in the hallway outside our daughter’s bedroom door, and I hold her while she cries silently into my chest.
I hear a soft giggle, one that sounds like my daughter, and it’s too real to be a dream. Peeling my eyes open, I see Kendrix standing in the hallway, a teddy bear in her hands, still wearing her pink princess pajamas. “Morning, princess.” The endearment falls from my lips easily.
“Mr. Kent, did you and Mommy have a sleepover?”
I take a minute to survey my current situation to see what she sees. Delaney is lying on the floor with her head on my lap, curled up on her side. I’m in the same position I was in last night—back against the wall, legs bent out in front of me, and I can already feel the ache seep in from sleeping in the same position all night long.
“We fell asleep.”
“In the hallway?” She giggles.
Delaney opens her eyes. “Hey, sweetie.”
“Momma, you and Mr. Kent had a sleepover.”
Delaney jerks to a sitting position, blinks, and takes stock of what our daughter sees. “We uh—” she starts, but I cut her off.
“How about you go brush your teeth and get ready? So I can take you and your mommy to that special place I was telling you about.”
“Yay, but my belly is angwy,” she says, scrunching up her nose.
I can’t stop the chuckle that her words evoke. “We’ll stop and pick up breakfast too. Go get ready.” She jumps and spins, rushing back into her room.
“Where are we going?”
“First, you get ready. I’m going to run home and grab a quick shower, and then I’ll be back to pick you ladies up. Then we’re going to make our daughter’s belly happy. I promised to take the two of you somewhere special, and I plan to do just that. So, get moving, woman.” I tap her leg and pull my stiff body from the floor. I offer her my hand, helping her to stand. She starts to walk down that hall, but I pull her back to me. I cradle her face in my hands and lean in, placing my lips next to her ear. “Morning, beautiful.” I kiss her neck and then force myself to step away.
Her smile, it’s bright, and her blue eyes are filled with happiness, none of the sadness from last night making an
appearance. “Thank you, Kent.”
“It’s my pleasure, baby. Now go.” I point down the hall and watch her until she disappears into her room. I have to force myself to turn away and leave them. Just a few more days until she has my truth in her hands.
Forty-five minutes later, I’m pulling into her driveway. I leave the truck running as I jog to the front door and knock. Delaney opens the door with a smiling Kendrix on her heels. “Hello, ladies. You ready to go?”
“My belly is weally, weally angwy,” Kendrix says, pulling her hat on over her ears.
I bend and lift her into my arms. “Well then, we better take care of that angry belly. Momma, you ready to go?” I ask Delaney.
“Yes.” She grabs her purse and we step out onto the porch. I bounce down the steps, making my daughter laugh before strapping her into her seat in the back seat of my truck.
Kendrix chatters in the back seat about surprises and how mad her belly is at her. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Delaney and I listen to her ramble on, answering her questions when she asks. She’s full of energy, even with an empty belly.
“We’re here,” I say, pulling the truck into the lot of the local diner in town. “This place has the best pancakes around.” I turn to look at Kendrix. “Does your belly like pancakes?”
“Yes. And bacon. My belly weally likes bacon.”
“This kid.” I smile over at Delaney before climbing out of the truck and helping Kendrix out of her seat. “I wanna sit by you,” Kendrix announces as we make our way inside.
I glance over at Delaney, and she nods, a small smile playing on her lips. “All right, princess, you can sit by me.” We make our way to the back of the restaurant and find a booth.
“Welcome, can I start you off with some drinks?” the waitress asks.