Meredith lowered her eyes, nodding slowly. “You are right. I have been thinking about him, though I cannot say I wish to return. Perhaps it was wrong of me to remain out of contact with him for so long.”
“You needn’t worry yourself about that.” Heath leaned in and kissed her gently on her forehead. Meredith felt every bad feeling rush out of her at the touch. “After all, you were busy with other things.”
His devilish smirk said more than his words did. Meredith slapped him playfully on the arm as she skirted around him. Heath trailed behind her, heading back to his seat.
They settled down to eat once more and this time, Meredith devoured her food with gusto. She was feeling anxious at the thought of writing to her father, but she knew it was a good idea, something she should have thought of a long time ago. But, more than that, there was excitement. To brave being in public again meant braving the ton. It meant dipping her toes into the water and seeing if she was ready to swim again. As if she was facing a bottomless ocean, trepidation rushed through her. But Meredith was ready to feel the cool waves against her skin, ready to drift along without a care or worry in the world.
And with Heath as her anchor, she would neither drown nor get lost at sea.
Chapter 26
Flickers of candlelight cast long shadows over the sheets of paper sitting before her. Meredith gripped the quill pen tightly in her hand, trying to call her words to the fore. None came. Even though she’d headed the paper with the date and her father’s name, the words wouldn’t flow.
It was already late at night. Meredith didn’t know how long she had been staring at the paper. When she’d requested it from Annalise just a few hours before, she thought she would have it done in no time. She had thought that by now, she would have been in bed, fast asleep.
But the candles surrounding her continued to burn, wax pooling at the bottom of the holders. Their wicks would be done soon, plunging her into darkness, and Meredith still didn’t know what to say.
Rather, she didn’t know how to begin. There was a lot she wanted to say, things that she knew she should save for another time. For when she could sit before her father, look him in the eye as she spoke her truth. But until then, Meredith knew she had to skirt around the truth as much as she could while putting his mind at ease. One part of her wanted to tell him everything about Heath, the gang, the situation that brought her here to his home. The other part of her wanted to keep it all to herself and say nothing to him at all.
Steeling herself, Meredith put her quill to paper. She began to write, not knowing where her thoughts would take her.
My dear father, she began, I do not know how to begin this letter. As I write to you, it is quite late at night. A gentle wind is wafting from the open window by the bed that I sleep and it is far colder than I would have liked. I am very tempted to close that window, but that temptation both scares and excites me. It shows how much I have grown.
As she dotted the end of the sentence, she shivered. Meredith brushed her hair aside as she looked over her shoulder at the open window. Annalise had left it open once again because that was how Meredith had liked it since coming here. But she hadn’t realized until she wrote her feelings on paper that she no longer felt any comfort in the cold.
Facing the letter again, she continued.
I know you must have many questions. I am sorry that I am unable to answer them all for you. I cannot tell you where I am, nor what has happened to me. As far as you should know, I disappeared from Lady Millson’s ball, but I was not taken. I left of my own accord. Frightened and overwhelmed as I was in that moment, I did so without thinking. But I am not afraid. I am safe and I am happy. You do not have to worry about me, because though it was my fear that took me far away from that ball, it will be my strength that brings me back to your side one day.
Tears gathered in her eyes. Meredith leaned away from the desk, putting her head back as she tried to blink them away. She sniffled lightly, attempting to bring herself together so that she could finish this letter as quickly as she could.
It has been long and hard, I must admit. Things have happened that I did not expect. Secrets and surprises that I will carry with me forever. But I am grateful for every experience I have encountered during my time away. When I return, I intend to tell you all about it. But until then, please rest assured that I am safe. No harm has or will befall me.
Meredith paused. The urge to bare her soul to her father was overwhelming her and it was a struggle to tamper it. It wouldn’t do for him to know where she was and if she dared to reveal just a tidbit of what had happened, he might piece it all together and come looking for her. Meredith didn’t want to risk it. She didn’t want to cut her time with Heath short so soon. So, she decided to end the letter before she got away with herself.
I love you, Father. Yours, Meredith.
Stubborn tears slipped over her cheeks and dripped down her chin as she folded the letter. There was more paper, which Meredith had intended to use for a letter to Jenny. But she would save that for the morning before she hands them both over to be delivered. Right now, she wanted to be comforted. Crawling into bed while frosty wind drifted around her could not be her comfort tonight.
Picking up the candle closest to her, Meredith blew out the others and made her way to the door. She slipped out of her bedchamber without hesitation, closing the door on the cold she’d once loved so much.
Clad only in her nightdress, Meredith was still a bit chilly. She padded down the silent hallway without slowing, knowing her destination and how to get there. There was no reluctance in her movements. Even though she knew that this was very unladylike, that it might be better if she stayed in her bedchamber until morning came, Meredith couldn’t stop herself. She craved the risk she was about to take. It would be no different from all the ones before them.
A smile came to replace her tears as she drew nearer to Heath’s bedchamber. She didn’t hesitate to knock, rocking back on her heels with thrumming excitement. She strained her ears for his approach, and when it took a while, she raised her hand to knock again.
The door opened before she had a chance to. Meredith quickly opened her palm, grinning broadly in greeting. Her smile slipped away when she noticed Heath’s state of undress and how messy his hair was.
He cocked his head to the side, humor glinting in his cobalt blue eyes. “Why the shock, Meredith? Surely this is what you should have expected since you thought to come to my bedchamber so late at night.”
Meredith couldn’t think of a thing to say. Heath’s chest was left bare, black hair curled over the broad expanse and making her mouth go dry. Slowly, Meredith lowered her hand, knowing she should stop staring but unable to find the strength.
“To what do I owe the pleasure, Meredith?” Heath asked. His mirth at her surprise-stricken face was obvious but Meredith wasn’t ashamed by it. It was clear to her now that he had donned the Banyan hastily, to cover his nakedness. To think that all she would have to do was tug on the sloppy knot and he would be bare to her. Meredith’s mind went blank.
Heath bent over. Meredith leaned back, her eyes going straight down the opening his movement had caused. Suddenly, she was glad for the darkness, despite the candle in her hand. She didn’t know what would happen to her if she dared to see any further than his chest.
“Meredith, sweetheart?”
Meredith’s snapped her eyes up to his. She cleared her throat, finding her voice. “I wanted to ask you something.”
Heath straightened, crossing his arms. His infernal smirk was enough to drive tendrils of heated lust throughout her body. “So late at night? It could not wait until morning?”
“No,” she said bravely, trying to ignore the yearning coursing through her. “It is something I want now.”
“You are full of demands today, aren’t you?” But he didn’t sound upset by that. If anything, he was intrigued. “Well then, go ahead. Let me hear it.”
Suddenly, Meredith felt a twinge of shynes
s. Now that she was standing before him, she realized how bold a move this was. But she didn’t let timidity to hold her back. “May I sleep with you tonight?”
Heath chuckled at that. He seemed a bit surprised but more elated than anything else. It brought a smile to Meredith’s face. She let him take the candle from her hand and watched as he stepped to the side.
An unusual shiver went through her when Meredith stepped across the threshold. It was her first time in his bedchamber she realized. The bed was mussed, further indicating that her knock had brought him out of it. He went to put the candle on the bedside table then turned to face her.
“You seem quite stiff for someone who asked to sleep in my bed,” Heath told her.
Meredith blushed furiously. When he said it like that, it sounded quite obscene. “I do not want to be alone tonight, is all,” she tried to explain, watching as he lifted a brow. “Though, now that I think about it, my words might have suggested otherwise.”
“You need not worry, Meredith. You are far too innocent about such things for me to think you had other intentions.” He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. Meredith rounded the bed in an instant. She got in under the quilts , her heartbeat racing when Heath gathered her into his arms.
He was warmth. He was her comfort. Meredith felt another bout of tears come to her eyes when she realized that he’d healed her without even realizing it.
“Was it difficult writing to your father?” Heath asked after a long moment of nothing but their even breathing and settling heartbeats.
“It was,” Meredith responded. She stared out the window on the other side of the room, watching the gentle London fog roil around in the distance. “I cried a bit.”
“Is it because you want to return to him?”
“It wasn’t that,” Meredith said instantly. “I was merely feeling overwhelmed. I do miss him, but I do not think it is time for me to return just yet.”
“How mature of you to say, Meredith.” He pulled her closer to him and Meredith’s heart expanded. “I am very proud of you. You are quite different from the timid lady hiding in an abandoned building.”
“It is quite fascinating, isn’t it? I surprise even myself at how great I can be.”
Heath reached one hand up and flicked her tenderly on her nose. Meredith giggled. After a moment, she shifted in his arms, turning to face him. Her heart leaped when he looked up over her, but Meredith didn’t think that feeling would ever disappear. The fluttering in the pit of her stomach, the racing of her heart when he gave her that look, the way her mouth went dry and she couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Only this time, Meredith already had the words ready and waiting.
“I have you to thank,” she murmured softly, gazing into his eyes. “Had it not been for you, I do not think I would have grown from my pain. I would have let it drag me down until there was no longer any hope of seeing the light any longer. You made me see the light, Heath.”
“Meredith…”
His voice sounded thick. Meredith would have smiled at it had she not been overcome with her own emotions. Gratitude, relief, and so much love that she didn’t know how to contain it. For the third time that night, she felt like crying, but she wasn’t annoyed by it this time. Instead, she leaned closer, letting it spill past her lashes, as she pressed a kiss to his lips. Pulling away a second later, she whispered, “I love you, Heath. With all my heart.”
Heath said nothing for a moment, then two. And then he crushed his lips to hers once again. It was nothing like her gentle kiss to express how she felt for him. It had every bit of the burning need that smoldered within the two of them.
Heath’s tongue slipped past her lips instantly. Meredith welcomed it, moaning a little in the back of her throat when he lifted himself off the bed. She lay flat on her back, her hands in his hair, kissing him with all the need that she’d been trying to suppress. It felt like the first time they’d kissed in her bedchamber, when things had heated up so quickly that she was certain he would take her innocence. Just like then, Meredith didn’t care to resist. She didn’t care about her position as a lady nor what it would mean for her future. She only knew that she loved him and that she was willing to give him everything she had.
That love burned as bright as a lit fireplace when his lips broke away from hers and descended onto her neck. Her body moved on its own accord, arching, pressing closer to his lips. He bit her gently, his tongue warm against her flushed skin as his lips trailed downwards still. Meredith felt his hand move from her waist and cup her tender breast.
The feeling was more than she could contain. Meredith bit the inside of her cheek as she stared unseeingly up at the ceiling, waiting for his tongue to reach her aching breasts. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Heath pulled at the hem of her nightdress, pushing it up past her hips and stomach to reveal her bosom and nether regions.
Meredith braced herself for the onslaught of staggering sensations that would come over her the moment he touched her there again, but it never came. She looked down to see that Heath was staring at her body.
“What is it?” she asked.
He lifted his eyes to her. They were dark pools, an unnamed emotion swirling within them.
All of a sudden, Meredith felt self-conscious. She had remembered that she was bare under her nightdress when he pulled it up, but it hadn’t bothered her. Now that he was acting so oddly, she couldn’t help feeling bashful. She sat up slowly, letting her nightdress pool around her waist. “Is there something you do not like?” she asked tentatively, afraid to hear his answer.
Heath’s expression grew harder at her question. He stared at her for a moment longer before he released a long breath, moving back to the other side of the bed. “You truly do not know what you do to me, do you?” he mumbled.
Meredith was utterly confused. She brushed her hair away from her face, frowning. “I do not understand. What is the matter?”
Again, he looked at her. Again, she could not decipher what he was thinking. Then, he leaned over and pressed a fierce kiss to her lips. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, Meredith,” he said, his voice passionate. “I do not know how I have the strength to turn away from you like this, but you deserve to be treated the way a lady should be.”
Even as he said the words, he seemed pained. Meredith didn’t know whether to lament or to smile. Dregs of her lust whispered through her still. She stared at him, smiling at the way he ran his hands through his hair as he tried to bring himself together. Without thinking, she said, “I would like to attend a play.”
Heath looked at her with a frown. “Quite sudden of you to say, don’t you think?”
“I thought changing the topic would be best,” Meredith said with a shrug. She fixed her nightdress around herself and laid back down. “That is, if we would like to sleep tonight.”
Heath waited a beat before he chuckled. He laid down as well, pulling her back into his arms. “The theatre it is, then. Any particular reason why you would like to go there?”
“I think it would be best to be out at night, in case my father is still on the search for me. Everyone will be too focused on the play to pay me any mind, don’t you think?”
“A smart idea. I am not very well known amongst the ton either, so they will not pay me much attention either.”
“Then it is settled. We shall be attending a play tomorrow evening. I can hardly wait!”
Heath chuckled deeply in her ear, making her body rumble. “Then let us go to sleep or else we will be far too tired to do anything tomorrow.”
Meredith nodded slowly, then closed her eyes. She clung to the arms around her, letting the warmth of his body seep into her. It was enough to bring her body to life, to fill her with such beautiful need that Meredith didn’t think would ever go away. She ran her fingers down his chest, listening to the way his heartbeat sped up as well. She smiled gently. It seems he is just as affected by our embrace.
She continued to car
ess his back, letting that single touch show her love, her happiness, and the fact that she never wanted to be a part from him. That she wanted to share his bed for the rest of her life.
The exhaustion that had been lingering in the back of her eyes came to the fore and, before long, Meredith felt her limbs relax.
Heath’s voice was the last thing she heard before she let sleep claim her, “I love you too, Meredith.”
Chapter 27
Waking up with Meredith in his bed had seemed like the perfect way to start the morning. Heath had even fallen asleep to the image of it, a smile on his lips as he drifted off into the darkness. But when he opened his eyes the next day, Meredith was nowhere to be found.
Captive to the Kiss of a Wicked Duke: A Steamy Historical Regency Romance Novel Page 21