by David Allen
“Did you get to meet either of Steve’s parents?” asked Joe.
“Oh Joe, I didn’t tell you. It’s horrible. His parents are both dead. Steve lives with his Uncle.”
“Well, no wonder he’s a quiet kid. Were their deaths recent?” asked Joe.
“I don’t know. We were talking and I asked about his mom and dad. He said they were all dead and that Jack was his Uncle. After that he wouldn’t talk about his parents at all. Every time I asked about them he would shut me out. It was like he couldn’t hear me, or he didn’t want to hear me. He started to get agitated. I was afraid he would leave so I changed the subject and stopped asking about them.”
Joe sat down on the couch. He was still holding on to Luke. Joe raised Luke up and turned him around so he could sit on his lap.
Joe’s face looked pained. Joe’s father died of a heart attack when he was eleven. He knew the pain. He knew the depression and the despair that followed his death.
“That poor kid,” Joe said. “You know, for being a quiet kid, it sounds like he told you quite a bit.”
“Well, like I said, I had to drag it out of him. It was not easy. I invited him to stay for dinner so you could meet him but he said he could not. He said he needed to ask his Uncle but he was out fishing. He made it sound like he is left alone in the house a lot.”
Luke began to rock back and forth. He started to squirm and motioned to Joe that he wanted to get down. Joe picked him up off of his lap and lowered him to the floor. Luke looked at his dad and began to open his mouth.
Joe watched Luke as he tried to speak. He thought he saw something he had not seen in many years. He thought he saw a look of concentration.
“Hi,” said Luke. The word was clear. There was no mistake.
“There, did you hear it, did you hear it?” asked Karen who was almost shouting from excitement.
“Yes, I heard it,” said Joe.
Joe took hold of Karen. She was crying almost uncontrollably. He pulled her close and gave her a tight hug. They had both anticipated this moment for years. They had both waited so long. Now that it was happening, neither was quite sure what to do next. They held each other tightly and cried in each other’s arms.
For the rest of the evening, Luke continued to sign to his parents. He practiced saying “Hi”. He would sign it and then say it, over and over. Karen tried for a while to teach him to say the word “hello”, but Luke was sticking to “Hi”. That was just fine with both Karen and Joe.
Chapter 12 - Memories
Steve Peterson sat alone at the small kitchen table. He stared at the aluminum tray in front of him. There was still one bite left of his Swanson Hungry Man sirloin steak dinner. Steve poked at the last piece of the processed meat. He felt different. He felt sad.
Emotions were rare for Steve. He normally didn’t feel sadness or happiness, he just existed. It was his defense against the world. It was how he learned to survive.
Steve munched on the last bite of the meat patty. He wished he had said yes to the dinner invitation from Mrs. Jackson. She seemed nice. He could have practiced sign language with his new friend Luke. It would certainly be better than being alone.
Jack wouldn’t have cared if he ate dinner over there. It was just an excuse. It was a made up excuse because he was afraid. Steve began to imagine what it would have been like if he said yes. He began to imagine a life with a mom and dad, just like next door.
Mrs. Jackson seemed like a great mom to have, he thought. He wondered what Mr. Jackson was like. He wondered if he was as nice as Luke’s mom. Steve began to wish he had a mom and a dad like Luke. He wished he was part of a real family.
Steve’s mind drifted to images of his mom and his dad. He thought his real mom would have been like Mrs. Jackson. Images of his mom and dad flashed in his mind. Steve felt strange. Tears welled up in his eyes.
Suddenly, the thoughts of his mom and dad were stopped. Like a breaker on an overloading circuit, something clicked and access to the memories was immediately cut off. Steve did not even notice that it happened. The thoughts and the memories suddenly vanished from his mind.
Steve was back in the real world, back to his current life and his empty TV dinner. There were no more thoughts of his mom or dad. There were no more images of his past life.
Steve picked up his book on sign language. He had some signs he wanted to look up. He grabbed a can of cola out of the refrigerator and headed off to the living room.
For the past week, Steve had been sleeping on the living room couch. The air-conditioner in his room was still broken. A ceiling fan in the living room provided a little relief. When Jack wasn’t home, Steve would open his bedroom door and some of the cooler air would make it out to the living room. That would help a bit.
Steve propped himself up at the end of the couch with a pillow from his bed. Earlier in the day, Steve noticed Luke was making some signs that he did not understand. The signs were unlike any signs he remembered seeing. Maybe I could find the signs in the book, he thought. Steve opened the book and began his search.
The painstaking review lasted almost four hours. Page by page, Steve searched for the odd signs he saw Luke use. The signs could not to be found anywhere in the book. Steve was sure he remembered the signs correctly. He saw Luke use them on several occasions. He made mental notes of Luke’s movements.
Maybe the book doesn’t have all of the signs, he thought. Or maybe, Luke wasn’t using real sign language. Steve decided he would ask Mrs. Jackson about the signs. She would know what they meant. Mrs. Jackson seemed like an expert at the signs.
Steve placed the book on the floor next to the couch. He laid back into the pillow and thought about seeing his friend Luke the next morning. He hoped Mrs. Jackson would be outside too. Maybe he would even get to meet Luke’s dad.
Steve started to think about the life that Luke had with his mom and dad. They are probably both great parents, he thought. Steve’s tired mind began to drift. Again his thoughts turned back to his own parents. He envisioned images of his own mom.
Steve did not like the way he was starting to feel. Tears were again starting to well up in his eyes. His mind had to make the thoughts stop. They were hurting him and they must stop. Steve sat up on the couch. The thoughts of his mom and his dad quickly died away.
It was well past Steve’s normal bedtime and his eyes were growing heavy. He picked up the empty soda can and headed to the kitchen for a drink of water before bed. The empty foil tray that held his dinner caught his eye as he entered the kitchen.
Seeing the empty dinner tray again made Steve wish he had accepted the offer to eat next door at the Jackson’s. He saw an image of Mrs. Jackson in his mind. Thoughts of his own mom and dad raced back into his head.
This time something was different. The thoughts and the images did not stop. The memories of his mom and dad kept coming in like a flood. Memories of his lost childhood started to appear. Everything from his past life started to come back.
Steve looked around at the kitchen and now realized why it was his favorite room. For the first time, he could see the kitchen from his childhood in Virginia. He pictured the old kitchen in his mind. The two rooms looked almost the same.
The memories continued. Steve could see the face of his mom and his dad. He could hear their voices. Steve began to cry. It was the first time he cried in many years. It was the first real emotion he ever showed over the death of his parents. Steve was starting to heal.
Steve’s mind struggled to block the memories like all the times before. The effort was useless. The memories of his past life just kept flowing in. Nothing could stop them now.
Memories that had been locked away from view for many years suddenly found their freedom and came rushing out. All of them were as vivid and fresh as the day they had been put away into storage. Steve could remember every detail from his early life.
Steve remembered the way his mom and dad looked right before they left on the night they died. He remembered his
friends and his teachers from Virginia. He remembered his old house and his bedroom. He remembered his old bedroom set.
For the first time, Steve realized the bed in his room was the bed he slept in when his mom and dad were alive. Steve walked to his bedroom and sat down on the side of his old bed. Tears trickled down his cheeks.
Steve slowly rubbed his hand along the top of the dresser. “I remember this,” he said aloud. The tears broke free and streamed down his face.
Memories flashed in his mind. Steve rubbed his hand down the dark stained wooden headboard. He was looking for something, but he did not know what it was. He was searching for something to prove his past life. There is something here, he thought. I know there is.
Suddenly Steve’s hand stopped at several small indentations in the wood. He moved in closer. Through his tear stained vision, he knew he found what he was looking for. It was evidence of his past existence. It proved that everything he was remembering was true. All of his memories were real and he now had his proof.
For Steve’s eighth birthday, he received a real big boy’s bed and dresser from his parents. That night, right before bed, Steve was jumping up and down on his new bed. He could remember it like it was yesterday. Steve stared at the headboard as he listened to his mom’s words ring out in his head.
“Stop jumping on the bed or you are going to get hurt,” he could hear his mom’s words as if she was there. But in his memories, he didn’t stop as his mother requested. He kept jumping up and down on his new bed. Up and down, until his leg landed on a pillow and threw him off balance. Up and down until he fell headfirst into the new headboard.
He could remember the sudden jarring of his head as his upper teeth sank into the wood of his new headboard. He could remember his mom, her concern for him and her caring. He could picture her face. She wasn’t even mad at him.
“I am really OK mom, but I hurt my new bed,” he remembered saying to her.
Steve stared at the teeth marks in the top of the headboard. The memories are all real, he thought. His hand rubbed over the marks in the wood. “This is my old bed,” he whispered quietly.
Steve took off his shirt and pants and laid on the bed. The bedroom was at least ten degrees hotter than the living room. Steve didn’t care. He stayed in the hot room and slowly cried himself to sleep.
The memories were relentless. They pursued Steve into the night and into his sleep. Images of his past life mingled in with the reality of the present. His mom and dad came to life once again in his dreams.
Morning arrived along with the blazing sun. The bedroom quickly heated up. Steve awoke to his childhood memories and a very hot and steamy bedroom. His eyes were still puffy and red from the night of crying. His t-shirt was soaked from sweating.
Steve sat up in bed. He immediately felt along the top of the headboard for the indentations left during another life. He thought the images in his head were left over pieces of fantasy from his dreams.
When Steve’s fingers slid over the indentations, he quickly pulled his hand back as if it was being burned. A few minutes passed before he summoned the courage to move in closer. He gazed intently at the wooden headboard. The marks from his childhood were still imprinted in the wood.
The thoughts were not just creations of his dreams. It was all true. Memories of his prior life swirled about freely in his mind. They became mixed with the memories from the prior night. Steve slumped over in the bed and began to sob.
The memories had to stop, he thought. Steve wanted to lie back down. He wanted to go back to sleep so the unwanted memories would go away. It was better when he didn’t remember the past. It was better when the memories didn’t exist in his head.
Steve sprawled onto the bed. He tried to force the memories out. He tried to get them to stop. The stubborn memories fought back. The memories remained.
The heat in the bedroom grew unbearable. Steve knew there was no chance of falling asleep. He took a quick shower to help cool off. He dressed in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. None of the activities helped to stop the memories from invading his mind.
Steve plopped down on the couch. He tried to force his mind to forget. The temperature in the living room was not much cooler than the bedroom. Jack had returned during the night and closed his bedroom door cutting off the only supply of cool air. Steve headed out back to the oak tree.
The book on sign language was left behind. It remained on the floor along with the happy thoughts of seeing Luke. All Steve carried with him on his trip to the oak tree was sadness and the haunting memories of his past life.
Steve climbed high into the oak tree and sat down on his favorite branch. He closed his eyes and stared out into the excruciating memories of his past life. Alone in the tree with his unending thoughts, Steve wept.
Chapter 13 - Healing
Karen Jackson awoke early. The excitement of starting the new day prevented her from sleeping any longer. She had high hopes for building on the advancements Luke had made the day before.
Joe was still sleeping soundly next to her. Karen knew he was tired from the long week at work. She gently eased herself from the bed so she didn’t wake him. She grabbed her robe and quietly made her way out of the room.
Karen pulled the bedroom door shut behind her and paused for a brief moment in the hall. She thought how perfect her life really was. She had a loving husband. And now her dreams for Luke were finally coming true.
Joe only got to sleep for another ten minutes or so before He was awakened by a frantic Karen. There was a sound of alarm in her voice.
“Joe, Joe, wake up. Something has happened with Luke,” Karen announced loudly.
“What? What’s wrong? What happened?” asked Joe, as he sprang to life. The excitement caused Joe’s heart to race.
“Luke isn’t signing any more. He is just like he was before yesterday. He won’t sign to me or anything. He is sitting on the floor, just like before. Everything is just like it was before.”
Joe threw on his sweat pants and a t-shirt. He hurriedly followed Karen out to the family room. Luke was sitting on the floor with a blank stare. His legs were crossed. His arms and hands hung slightly over his lap in front of his body.
“Look, he is just like he was before yesterday,” said Karen as she started to weep.
Luke gently rocked back and forth. His hands moved ever so slightly. His eyes darted about as they stared out into the air.
“How can this be Joe? Why?” asked Karen, knowing Joe did not have the answer. “He was so good yesterday. What happened?”
“Do you think Steve might be able to communicate with him?” asked Joe.
Karen shook her head. “I have no idea. Do you think I should ask him to come over?”
Joe had no other ideas. He shrugged his shoulders. “It probably couldn’t hurt.”
It took some time for Karen to find Steve in the oak tree. It was just past ten when Steve heard Karen’s voice calling to him from below. She had been trying to get his attention for several minutes.
“Steve, can you hear me?” yelled Karen. “Are you alright?”
Steve looked down from his perch and saw Karen Jackson standing next to the fence in her back yard.
“Can you hear me, are you OK?” she yelled up to Steve.
Steve nodded slightly without uttering a word.
“Steve can you come over for a little while?” she asked.
Steve shook his head slightly from side to side. He still could not speak.
“Please Steve, just for a few minutes. I would like you to try to sign to Luke. There may be something wrong with Luke.”
For a brief instant the painful memories of Steve’s past life stopped. Steve looked down at Karen. “Luke?” he asked softly.
“Yes. Luke has stopped signing. Could you please come over and try to sign with him? Could you please try to help your friend like you did yesterday?”
Steve remembered the fun he had with Luke. Slowly, he made his way down the tree. As he re
ached the ground, Karen could see he was crying.
“Are you alright Steve?” she asked.
“It’s the memories,” Steve explained. He reached up and wiped the tears away from his cheeks.
Karen thought she knew what he meant. She felt bad and a little responsible. She thought her questions of his parents the day before might have stirred his emotions.
“I am very sorry Steve,” she said.
Steve stared down at the ground. A battle was raging in his mind. He could say nothing.
“Steve, if you meet me out front, we can go in that way to see your friend Luke,” said Karen as she pointed to the front of the house.
“OK,” said Steve. “But I need to get my book on signing first.”
Steve started off slowly toward the house. Thoughts of the fun he had with Luke the day before began to overlay the painful memories of his past. His pace quickened until he was running. Steve sprinted into the house and grabbed the book from the floor. He was starting to get a little excited.
Steve ran out to the front yard. He could see Mrs. Jackson waiting for him in her front yard. His pace increased with his excitement. Karen moved to the front porch and was waiting by the front door as Steve arrived.
“Come on in Steve, Luke is in here,” Karen said.
Steve realized he had to go into the house. He stopped before deciding to climb the stairs to the front porch. Steve’s eyes darted around nervously. Fear was taking over.
“Inside?” Steve asked.
Karen could see his apprehension. “Yes Steve. Luke is inside. It will be OK.”
Steve slowly entered behind Karen. Joe was awaiting Steve’s arrival. He was waiting right inside the doorway.
“Steve, this is my husband, Luke’s dad,” said Karen, as she introduced Steve to Joe.
Joe extended his hand to Steve. “Hi Steve, it is nice to finally meet you. Karen has told me a lot about you.”
Joe stood six foot two. His imposing stature caused Steve to take a step backwards. Joe stood with his arm extended but Steve did not move. He just stood and stared at Joe.