by Lauren Wood
But my stomach was still turning flips, no matter how much I tried to talk myself down. It was that stupid kiss. I had only agreed to consider his proposal out of politeness and confusion and to get him out of my apartment so I could think. Then...that kiss.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Which led to me asking him to come over and discuss the terms of this arrangement immediately. I needed to lay things out in black and white, so I could prove to myself we could actually make this work. Or maybe...I just secretly wanted more of him. But I wasn’t prepared to admit that...or what it might mean.
The doorbell rang and all those butterflies in my stomach suddenly leapt into my throat. I paused with my hand on the doorknob and sucked in a deep breath before turning and opening it.
Lucas towered over me in the doorframe, somehow seeming taller than ever, with his big, broad shoulders nestled into his tailored designer suit. His gray eyes sparked at me from behind one loose strand of his dark hair. He smoothed it back with his palm, holding a bottle of wine in his other hand.
I cleared my throat and nodded, trying to act normal. “Hey. Come in.”
He flashed that charming smile of his and walked in, leaving me to steady my breathing and talk myself down all over again behind his back. I took my time locking the door and turned to face him. Get a grip, Victoria. It’s just Lucas. Your old friend.
But nothing felt the same, even as I followed him into the kitchen to pull down two wine glasses. There was a different energy crackling in the air between us. Maybe one that had always been there that I was just too blind to notice. Now I knew the potential that was there—hidden behind those perfect pink lips, just waiting to come out again.
“Thanks for having me over,” he said casually. “I’m really glad you agreed to everything.”
“I bet you are,” I huffed under my breath.
“What?” He wrinkled his face.
“Oh, nothing. I’m sorry. I just...well, while I may be getting something out of this, too...it really does save your ass not to have to tell everyone you lied.”
He moved in closer, leaning against the kitchen counter and half caging me in, making it even harder to breathe than it already was. “You know that’s not the only reason I wanted to do this, right?”
Our eyes locked intently. “It’s not?”
He wrapped his hand around mine. “We’re not getting any younger, Victoria. We both know what we want, but other people don’t seem to be a part of that equation. If anybody could pull this off...it’s us.”
“Right,” I answered slowly, pulling my hand out from under his. I uncorked the bottle he brought and filled both glasses to the brim.
I hated that everything felt different all of a sudden. The comfort and ease of my best friend had vanished into a whole new well of confusing, overwhelming emotions.
“I just don’t want anything between us to change,” I murmured softly, but really it felt like it was already too late.
“Everything changes, Vic. But that doesn’t mean it’s not for the better. Isn’t this better than us finding other people and slowly vanishing from each other’s lives completely? You know what happens with married people. That’s not us. And this ensures it never will be.”
I handed him his glass and started gulping down mine. “But you already were vanishing from my life,” I reminded him, still resentful of how he had pulled away in recent years. “What changed all of a sudden?”
He moved in too close again and looked deep into my eyes. His lips parted as if he might speak, but instead his hand smoothed along my cheek to the back of my neck. He tilted my mouth up towards his and gently kissed me, sliding his tongue between my lips.
Everything inside of me swelled—a gushing release of so many pent up things I never even knew were there before. It was the warm wave I had been waiting to feel again—ever since the last time he pulled me in like this.
I sank into it, kissing him back...slowly at first, then with a deep and urgent longing. He groaned into my mouth, his deep hum rattling through my entire body. It’s Lucas! I’m kissing him...I’m drawing those sweet sounds from his lips...How is this happening!?
More of my doubts and nerves faded as we melted into each other, his body pinning me to the counter behind me. I clenched my hand into his hair, pulling and squeezing—expressing the frustration of all the feelings I couldn’t speak out loud. He matched my roughness and bit into my bottom lip just as he lifted my body up onto the counter. I slid on top of it and instinctively spread my legs, giving him space to settle in between them and kiss me harder.
His hands ran up and down my thighs, snaking their way under my shirt. It should have felt so weird to have him touching me that way—this guy who I always swore was more like a brother. But nothing felt wrong or weird about it at all as it was actually happening. It felt so very right. Too right.
I slid off his jacket and blindly fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, stopping only to lift my arms so he could slide my own shirt off. Before long, we were half naked and he was effortlessly carrying me off into my bedroom. He crashed down on top of me, and the whole room felt like it was spinning so fast it was almost nauseating. Except not quite...something better. Like the adrenaline of a rollercoaster ride when your insides are all out of sorts and you’re scared, but it’s too thrilling to stop.
Except I hated roller coasters and I was determined to stop. To prove I had control.
“Wait,” I said breathlessly, ripping my lips away from his. “What are we doing? I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just thought we’d...we’d talk about things. Like how this is going to work…”
“We can. We will. But what is there to talk about...really?” He dropped his mouth down to my neck, biting and kissing in between words while everything between my legs clenched up in need. “We know each other. You want a baby, and I want to give you one. I need a wife, and you’re the only one who could pull it off.”
I sank my head back against the mattress, blowing out a big gush of air. He thought it all seemed so simple, but it sounded like a big, huge mess to me. It was almost laughable to hear his “What could go wrong?” tone of voice. Everything. Everything could go wrong.
But with each kiss down my body, I cared less. His big hands spread across my stomach, then down to tug at the waist of my panties. I squirmed under his grip as he began teasing the mound above my wet, tingling bundle of nerves that was aching for his touch.
“You’re sure this is a good idea? To just...dive into this all of a sudden?” It hit me in waves—the relentless questions swirling through my mind.
He smirked up at me, and I almost wanted to smack that tempting, devilish grin right off his face. He was so sure of everything. Too confident and just asking for trouble. “You want a baby, right? And you know how babies are made…”
“Yes, I just thought…”
He kissed deeper along my inner thigh.
“I thought...there’d be a process...like...rules...a plan…”
He yanked down my panties and ran his hot tongue over me from top to bottom. It felt so surreal and impossibly good. “Fuck rules,” he growled against my skin. “Let me make you feel good. We’ll worry about the rest later.”
There was a tug inside. Something that reminded me we needed to stop. This was not what I’d called him over for...I didn’t think. And this was not the smart way to go about this...but then he lapped me up again and I suddenly only had one resounding thought that rang out louder than everything else—Fuck rules.
He sucked me into his mouth and I writhed against him. But it wasn’t what I wanted. Not right then. I had been too busy with work to get laid in a while, and while he was skilled with his mouth...that was something I wanted to explore later. Right then, I wanted what only he could do.
“I want you inside of me,” I begged in between whimpering breaths. Words I never thought I’d hear myself saying to Lucas.
He responded, working his way back up my body with nipping ki
sses. Our mouths crashed together again while our bodies melded together—lining up for what was about to come.
He quickly took off his pants and boxers, and my jaw nearly dropped at the sight of his throbbing erection. I’d always assumed he was well hung. Most guys with an ego his size were, but...good god. It was even bigger and more deliciously perfect than I ever imagined.
He nudged himself between my thighs, teasing me with the tip. I bucked my hips toward him with insatiable, impatient need. With one hand wrapped around my hip, he thrust inside of me—deep, filling me completely. He stretched me in all the right ways, and I had to close my eyes to distract myself from the fact that it was Lucas moving inside of me.
We settled into a perfect rhythm—greedy, but steady. I was so slick as my clenching muscles slid across him, in and out. I moaned and thrashed against the sheets, relishing in the push and pull against every nerve inside of me that was bursting with pleasure.
He kept one hand by my face—brushing my cheek, gripping my neck, pulling my hair. God, he knew just how rough to be, mixed with the perfect amount of tenderness. No wonder he was such a heartbreaker. This could become very addicting way too fast.
I caught one of his fingers as it teased around my mouth. I sucked it in, eliciting a hissing groan from between his teeth. Our eyes met, and I was still in shock it was him, but fuck, it felt so good!
I swirled my tongue around his finger tip, which he drew out and moved down to my clit. He rubbed in circles, sending me too close to the edge. That one touch was all it took and my whole body was filled with want...more, more, more...until an orgasm ripped through me with fury.
He pounded into me harder, guiding me up and deeper as I crashed through the rise and fall. I felt him twitching and heard his manly cries of pleasure as he filled me with a hot burst, the sensation of which only made me cum harder.
It was sensation overload as he convulsed inside of me, grinding against my clit to finish me off until we were both milked of every last drop. Every last morsel of pleasure we could drag out of each other.
I laid there, limp and silent, unable to resist the urge to drag my fingernails down his back. His bare flesh was so warm against mine, soothing in combination with the fading intensity.
“Oh,” I blurted in disbelief.
“‘O’ is right.” He laughed, slowly pulling out of me. Our eyes locked again as we both gasped at the withdrawal, before he rolled over beside me. “Two big ‘O’s in fact.”
“That was…”
“Fucking incredible,” he finished for me.
All I could do was nod in agreement, and I knew that I was wholeheartedly agreeing to everything in that moment. How could I not sign up for more of that? Caution be damned.
8
Lucas
I was hit by an unfamiliar swell of comfort the moment I woke up. But the smell was familiar...Victoria’s signature jasmine and vanilla perfume. Her warm skin draped across mine was not the kind of contact that usually came with it, though. I got that smell in passing—in small, tolerable bursts. I wasn’t used to it filling every fiber of me, drawing me to life. Like the smell of coffee in the morning.
I looked down at her body, nuzzled into my side. It was the kind of thing I had dreamed about, but never thought would actually happen. I was kicking myself. She was right. We should have talked more the night before. I shouldn’t have just barreled in here and tumbled straight into bed with her.
She started to stir with a deep, honeyed groan as she stretched and curled up next to me again. Her body relaxed against me, then she opened her eyes and jumped.
“Oh! Sorry.” She laughed, jerking back all of a sudden. “I didn’t mean to get so...cozy with you. Just habit, I guess. When there’s a guy in my bed.”
We awkwardly yawned and stretched, laughing between breaths.
“That’s okay,” I offered, sitting straight up and inching toward the edge of the bed.
I could feel her watching me as I started hunting through the tangle of clothes, separating mine from hers. The morning bulge in my pants twitched at the sight of her lace panties on the floor.
“I guess, also out of habit, I should make an excuse about needing to work early and not being free for breakfast,” she quipped. “This is exactly the kind of thing I try to avoid.”
“Kind of hard to avoid this time around,” I realized. “We have that big meeting this morning, remember?”
“Ha! You’re right. So, no excuse needed. You know that I have to work early, and so do you. I guess you were also right about this whole thing making sense, then.”
I felt a sudden pounding in my skull. I was in over my head. I wanted to have breakfast with Victoria. I didn’t want to be talking about what she usually did with guys in her bed or how she handled her one-night stands.
“What do you mean?” I asked, only half-thinking about it. I was too distracted by my own reservations—the same ones she had the night before and that I should have been paying more attention to instead of only thinking with my cock.
“You said we were a perfect match for this,” she explained. “And I guess you’re right. No need to lie or be weird. It just...I don’t know, Lucas. Maybe I’m just trying to comfort myself here. But...this isn’t weird, is it? Do you feel weird?”
I gave up on my search for my shirt and sank down on the edge of the bed in my boxers and pants, still unzipped.
“No, not weird. But we should talk.” I raked my hands through my hair.
I shuddered at her hand grazing my back. “What’s wrong? Are you having doubts?”
Looking back at her, I saw the way she clutched the sheets tighter around her and sank back against the pillows.
“Not doubts, necessarily,” I lied. Well, it was sort of a lie. The problem was my lack of doubt in all the wrong ways. This wasn’t just an arrangement to me. My head and heart were already at war after just one night. “I just think we need to set boundaries to keep this from getting messy.”
“Oh, now you want to talk boundaries!?” she snapped incredulously. “What happened to fuck rules?”
“I know, I know,” I groaned. “We should have talked before anything happened. I just couldn’t...I got caught up in everything. The rush of it...was exciting, you know?”
She crossed her arms and glared off towards the corner of the room. “This whole thing was your idea. You were so sure of it all being easy as pie and you didn’t want to entertain a single question or reservation I had. But now...what? I’m just another girl you’ve slept with and lost interest in? Now you want to clarify every little detail of this?”
I wanted to pull her into my arms to comfort her and calm her down. She had no idea what I was really thinking. No idea how I really felt about her. It had become second nature to keep it all to myself, but seeing her naked in bed next to me was dragging it all up to the tip of my tongue.
“I’m sorry, Vic. It’s not like that. I just want to iron things out, like...do we keep seeing other people?” I cringed to ask. Just imagining her having a night like that with someone else and then making an appearance together the next day...me knowing some other guy had his hands on her and trying to pretend like it didn’t bother me...
“I thought the whole driving force behind this was our disinterest in seeing other people?” she asked in a resentful tone.
“I’m not—” I insisted. “I don’t need to, but...what about you?”
“I don’t see this arrangement complicating my love life any more than a sperm donor would have,” she shot back. “Maybe I’ve thought about this more carefully than you have...even though it was your idea.”
“You don’t have to keep saying that. I know it was my idea. But if you’re open to seeing other people, then I will, too. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“I see what’s happening here,” she scoffed, shooting up from the bed to throw on her robe. “You think just because we slept together one time that I’m going to fall head over heels for you now.
”
“I didn’t say that…”
“Then what are you saying, Lucas? I keep giving in and letting you have everything you want. I went along with your stupid lie! Now I’ve agreed to keep going along with it and everything else you proposed. I gave up on having a serious conversation about this and had sex with you instead. I feel like you’re jerking me left and right...like you can’t make up your mind.”
I stood up and swallowed down the hard lump in my throat. She was standing there with last night’s bun in her hair, all disoriented—strands of hair flopping down in her face. Her makeup had long worn off, but she had a fresh morning glow. She was in a big fluffy robe, fuming with her arms crossed.
I imagined the same scenario, but with her pissed about something else entirely. Me forgetting to take the garbage out or working too much. I loved her. She was beautiful. I wanted it...all of it. And this was the closest I was ever going to get. But if I didn’t do something to fix it, I wouldn’t even have that much.
I walked over and pulled her in for a hug, striving to make it as platonic as possible. “Forget I said anything. I’ve never been much of a morning person. I was just being moody is all. I’m not worried about anything. We’ll find a way to make everything work. I still believe we’re perfectly suited to pull it off.”
“Okay,” she submitted hesitantly. She pulled back and squinted her eyes at me. “I vote we work out the terms of our relationship, what happens publicly and privately, as we go along. The rest of our lives are still free for us to do whatever we want. We just keep things under wraps so nothing gets complicated. We’d have to anyway for our images. If the media paints you as a cheating womanizer, you’re even worse off than where you started.”
I nodded. “Makes sense.”
She spun on her heels and went into the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on and resisted the urge to follow her in. The problem was...she wasn’t giving in to everything that I wanted. Not everything. And I wasn’t worried about her getting hurt...I was worried I would be the one to get hurt.