It’ll be a while? Pay a fee to the blacksmith…?
“Oh, I get it. You mean it’ll be a while until the seal weakens, allowing the chosen one to pull it out…”
“That sword is a holy blade our blacksmith made to bring in tourists. The magic that keeps it stuck in there will only break when the ten thousandth person tries to pull it out. So far we’ve only had about a hundred challengers. The smith made it roughly four years ago.”
“Hasn’t had very long to build up its legend, huh?” I said dispiritedly. Aqua went to take a look at the sword.
“Hey, I think I could break this seal with my magic. Can I take this home with us?”
“P-please don’t. Our town needs all the tourist attractions it can get.”
Megumin took us to a small pond shaded by trees.
“This is the Wishing Pond. There is a legend about it. It is said that if you make an offering of an ax or a coin, you can summon the goddess of gold and silver or something. Apparently, even today, people occasionally toss in axes or coins on account of this legend.”
As legends went, that one sounded awfully familiar…
“We don’t have the faintest idea who started the story, but if our kindly blacksmith didn’t routinely dredge the pond, it would be a pile of metal by now.”
“…Just out of curiosity,” I said, “what does the kindly blacksmith do with all the coins and metal he salvages?”
“He recycles them into weapons and armor, of course.”
I had a pretty good sense that I could finger the perp on that rumor.
“Now for our next tourist trap… Huh? Where is Aqua?”
Now that Megumin mentioned it, I didn’t see her anywhere. Then, just as I thought I saw ripples on the surface of the Wishing Pond…
“…I take my eyes off you for one second, and look what you do!”
Our self-proclaimed goddess’s eyes were just above the waterline. She must have dived in when I wasn’t looking.
“Well, Megumin said there were coins down here, so I thought I’d have a look… Hey, when tourist season comes around, you could hire me as your temp pond goddess.”
“Fine, I’m going to fling an ax at you. See if you can turn it into gold.” I looked around for something to throw, but Aqua just splashed some water at me.
“Come on, you two—stop playing around. Let’s move on!”
The next thing Megumin showed us was a totally normal-looking underground entrance. It seemed a lot like the entrance to a nuclear shelter…
“This is an underground facility that is home to a weapon that could very well destroy the world. When did this facility get here? No one knows… It’s said to have been made at the same time as that mystery building over there…”
Megumin pointed to a huge structure of some sort. It was an enigma, all right… I wondered what it was. It seemed to be made of concrete.
“What’s the mystery building?” I asked. “What’s it used for?”
“It is indeed a mystery. What is it for? Who built it, and why? And when? All mysteries. Looking around inside didn’t give us any clues, so we call it the mystery building.”
What was it with this village?
“A weapon that might destroy the world, huh…? Could be serious trouble. But I guess the Crimson Magic Clan is made up of expert wizards. Any seal they put on it wouldn’t be easy to break. There’s probably no safer place for it,” I muttered.
“Hey, Megumin, don’t you have anything more, like, awesome sitting around here?” Aqua asked.
“You are just a bit too late. We used to have ‘The Tomb of the Sealed Evil Spirit’ and ‘The Place with the Sealed Unknown Goddess,’ but with this and that, the seals broke—you know how these things are—and…”
“The seals around here aren’t worth squat, are they?! Is this world-destroying weapon really safe?!”
“Y-yes, it’s fine. The seal on that building is a riddle written in ancient letters no one can read anymore, and you have to enter the answer in order to break it… D-don’t look at me like that! I swear, it’s okay!”
Megumin said there was somewhere she wanted to stop by and led us to a particular store. It appeared to be a clothing shop. The sign had some old clothes drawn on it, and through the glass door I could see a shop owner wearing a black robe and a baleful look. The owner glanced at us as we entered.
“Welcome to— Megumin. Hmm? Could those be out-of-towners you have with you?” He fixed us with an intense gaze. Aqua quailed under his stare and tried to hide behind me.
Wh-what was going on? Had we done something wrong? Maybe this guy had a bias against strangers or something. As my heart pounded, Megumin simply nodded.
This caused the proprietor to jump up, giving the cape he wore with his robe an impressively capable flourish despite the tight confines of the store.
“My name is Cheekera! Arch-wizard and wielder of advanced magic. First among the clothing-store proprietors of the Crimson Magic Clan!”
Apparently, there was a certain etiquette to introducing yourself here. After he had made this solemn pronouncement, the shopkeeper gave a satisfied smile.
“Again, welcome! My, but it’s been a long time since we had travelers in here! How long has it been since I got to proclaim my name? Ah, that was invigorating. Thank you.”
…They find that invigorating?
“My name is Kazuma Satou… So you’re first among the clothing-store proprietors of the Crimson Magic Clan, huh? That’s pretty neat.”
The owner seemed to like this, because his grin grew even broader. “Indeed! Granted, this is the only one in the village.”
“Are you kidding?” I spat out instinctively.
“There aren’t that many stores around here to begin with, you see,” he said. “I run the sole clothing store, and there’s only one place to buy shoes. None of the other shops have any competition, either.”
I thought I recalled Bukkororii saying he was the son of the foremost cobbler of the Crimson Magic Clan or something. Megumin saw me wrinkling my nose and looked away uncomfortably.
“Well, that aside, what brings you here today? Something you need?” Cheekera said.
“I’d like to change to a new robe,” Megumin said. “Do you have any just like this? I got it from Yunyun a long time ago, but it’s annoying to have only one.”
At that, the proprietor took a careful look at his own outfit.
“A robe like that? I happen to have some, freshly dyed.” He led us out to where the robes were drying on a pole. There were several that looked like the one Megumin was wearing.
“All right,” she said. “Give me all of them.”
“All of them? Ho-ho. I see your tastes have gotten more bourgeois, Megumin… Met some success as an adventurer, have you?”
“Well, do not be surprised if you start hearing my name around the village pretty soon. Anyway, this robe is rather my trademark, and I wouldn’t want a bunch of people to run around wearing it… Hence, my soon-to-be-rich friend, Kazuma, kindly make with the cash.”
“Y-you little… Hmm. I guess there’s no telling when we’ll be back here. Fine.”
The shopkeeper, giddy with the thought of selling all his stock in one fell swoop, started gathering the robes off the drying pole. Now that I saw the simple rack more clearly, I couldn’t keep myself from saying, “Hey…”
“…? Yes?” Megumin gave me a look as if to ask what was wrong with the apparatus.
“Are you—? I mean— What the heck is this thing you’re using to dry those robes?”
“Ah, my dear customer, do you know what this is? This is a drying pole passed down in my family for generations. A precious thing that never rusts.”
So the proprietor smilingly informed us…but when Aqua saw it, she said with great interest, “This is obviously a rifle.”
And so it was. An imposing long-barreled rifle—just about the size of a drying rack, for which it was being used. I guess no one here would take it for
a weapon.
Wait, though. The “deity” at the cat-ear shrine, this rifle, that concrete mystery building… Just what was going on in this village?
3
We left the store and wandered around the village some more, until we finally ended up resting amid the brush on a small hill.
“What a great view,” Aqua said. “I should have packed lunches for us.”
“If you want to drink in the scenery, there is an observatory on top of that mountain,” Megumin said. “There is a magical item there capable of allowing one to see things that are extremely far away, so that we can peek into the Demon King’s castle at any time. I am told the bedroom of His Majesty’s daughter is a popular object of observation.”
“You people really are good-for-nothing! You’re even trying to make money off the Demon King’s castle?”
“Hey, Megumin,” Aqua called from where she’d sprawled in the grass. “This is nice and all, but you said you would take me somewhere with some ambience.”
“There is ambience here! This is called ‘the Devil’s Hill.’ Couples who swear their love to each other here are subject to the devil’s curse and shall never break up for all eternity. It’s a romantic tourist spot and very popular with lovers…”
“What in the hell is romantic about that?!” I demanded. “More like terrifying! Oppressive! …Hey, what’s that?”
From the hilltop, you could see the whole village clearly. And over by the entrance, a little to the side—just past the wooden fence next to Megumin’s house, a dark shape was moving. I activated my Second Sight skill to get a better look, and…
“Whoa! Megumin, the Demon King’s people are over there! Aren’t they awfully close to your house?!”
Megumin’s house was in a corner of the village, a little removed from the other residences. And just beyond the wooden fence there, a group that looked suspiciously like part of the Demon King’s army was assembling. There was no warning announcement, which probably meant the Crimson Magic Clan hadn’t noticed them yet.
“Where, where? They certainly are persistent, aren’t they? To come right back after we beat them so soundly… I wonder what their objective is. From the way they’re sneaking around, I doubt they want to attack people. Maybe they’re trying to get to one of the buildings in the village.”
One of the buildings…?
“Didn’t you mention a tomb with a dark god sealed up in it or something? That sounds like the sort of thing the Demon King would be interested in. But you said the seal was already broken, right?”
“Unfortunately, yes. So I can’t imagine what they would be after in our— Wait! Could they be trying to get to the deity in Cat-ears Shrine…?!”
“If that thing is really the Demon King’s highest goal in life, then he and his army and this village can all just go to hell together.”
But in that case, what did they want?
“What about that potentially world-destroying weapon?” I suggested.
“I doubt it. Unlike the other buildings, that one has a special seal, and anyway, nobody knows how the weapon is supposed to work.”
Why did they even have something like that around here?
“Whatever. Nobody seems to know they’re there. At this rate, they’ll get into the village! We have to go warn everyone!”
“That’s Kazuma for you,” Aqua said. “Always big and brave, as long as there’s someone else around to do the fighting.”
I don’t care. She can say whatever she wants!
4
We gathered everyone we met in the street and brought them back to Megumin’s house. But there, we heard…
“What’s this girl doing?! Where’d she even come from? What does she even want?!”
“Lady Sylvia! This woman won’t go for help, and she doesn’t have any powerful attacks—I don’t know why she’s even here. It may be a trap. Please stay back!”
The forces of the Demon King had broken through the fence, but now Darkness and her great sword confronted them.
“So long as I have sight in my eyes, you shall not pass!” she shouted. “If you want to get through here, you’ll have to do it over my dead body—but I won’t lose to the likes of you, so you are out of luck!”
“What a pain in the butt this girl is. No attacks but hard as a rock! She oughta just give up and run away! Lady Sylvia, let’s forget about this freak and just do what we came here for!”
Apparently, Darkness had gotten home before us, had heard the enemy breaking in, and had been trying to buy us time. Stymied by Darkness, the Demon King’s forces had breached the fence but couldn’t get into the village. I wouldn’t have expected Darkness to do something like that, and I had to admit with a touch of admiration that she had actually grown up a little.
“Way to hold them off, Darkness! We’re here to help you!”
“K-Kazuma?! Aww, you’re here already…?” She sounded downright disappointed.
More fool me for being impressed.
“First the orcs turn out to all be female, and then the general of the Demon King around here is a woman, too!” she shouted. “All right, you! If you’re really minions of the Demon King, then prove it! Overpower me! Make me call you Master or something!”
“Hey, quit while you’re ahead,” I shouted. “You almost looked really cool for a second there.”
The Demon King types facing down Darkness paled when they caught sight of the crowd of Crimson Magic Clan members I’d brought along. Suddenly, their general—Sylvia, was it?—came out in front, as if to cover them.
“Impressive… You deliberately bungled your attacks, making us think you weren’t a threat—and all the time you were just waiting for your friends to get here. Judging by the defense and endurance you’ve showed so far, you must be a pretty high-level Crusader… Was your total inability to hit any of my subordinates just another ploy to keep me from guessing your true strength? If we had realized how high your level was, we would’ve retreated a long time ago… Nice work.”
“…Uh…yeah. I—I guess you sure…figured me out…”
Our little princess, trying to play off the enemy’s mistake despite being a terrible liar, kept glancing to me for help. I had a whole squad of powerful Crimson Magic types behind me. Well, if they’d misread Darkness, maybe I could press home our advantage.
“Sylvia, right? That Crusader there is my comrade. She’s an animal—she even withstood a massive explosion in our battle with Vanir. For you to grasp her true power in such a short time—well, I have to say, I’m impressed…”
“Megumin, why is Kazuma saying all that weird stuff?”
“Shh! It seems interesting. Let’s see where this goes. Maybe he’ll talk about us, too.”
Beside me, Aqua and Megumin were whispering to each other.
Okay. Far be it from me to disappoint Megumin.
A shocked look came over Sylvia’s face. “…Vanir? I’d heard he went to Axel Town and never came back. So you—?!” The Demon King’s forces took a step back.
“Yup. Megumin here struck the final blow.” That did more than startle Sylvia. It even set the Crimson Magic Clan people abuzz. Megumin got a little smirk on her face.
“That’s not all,” I went on. “The Dullahan Beldia. The Deadly Poison Slime Hans. Even that infamous bounty Mobile Fortress Destroyer…! We did ’em all in!”
“Y-you did what?! …I’d heard Beldia had been taken down, but Hans? When—? But I guess his regular reports from Arcanletia did dry up not long ago, so it’s probably true…!”
This village was just a few days distant from Arcanletia. It made sense that they would be in touch with each other. Now that she sensed some credibility in my words, Sylvia began gnawing fretfully on her lip.
“…You seem to be the leader of your party. Perhaps you could tell me your name.”
M-my name, huh? I definitely did not need the Demon King’s army learning my name. I could only assume there would be wanted posters out as soon as they could dr
aw them up.
“…My name is Kyouya Mitsurugi! Remember it well.”
“Mitsurugi! …Yes, that makes sense. Mitsurugi, wielder of the magic blade. I’ve heard of you. You do have a rather odd sword with you. I suppose you must be him. Although I had always heard him described as an exceedingly handsome lady-killer, whereas you… To be fair, you’re about my type… But with you here on top of these Crimson Magic types, I could be in real trouble. I don’t expect you could find a way to let me escape for today?”
How polite of Sylvia to let herself be fooled by my sword into thinking it was Gram—Mitsurugi’s weapon. As for Mitsurugi, I figured he could handle a wanted poster or two. Heck, apparently the Demon King’s army already knew him by name.
“…He just can’t come through when it counts, can he? And then he pretends to be someone else!”
“I guess he got a bit too full of himself with all these Crimson Magic people here. I’m a little worried…”
Stupid peanut gallery.
“I take your point,” I said. “I’m sure we could finish off the lot of you right here, but then it might look like I only beat you because I had the Crimson Magic Clan behind me. And how would that burnish my legend? You may begone for today… That is, if my Crimson Magic friends agree?”
I gave a bold smile, and…
“Thank you kindly, Mitsurugi—catch you next time! Then we’ll settle this! My name’s Sylvia—general of the Demon King! Okay, everyone—retreat!”
The Crimson Magic Clan people went flying after her:
“Don’t let her get away! Lightning Strike!”
“Light of Saber!!”
“Let’s catch her and use her for our magical experiments!”
I watched Sylvia and her minions as they disappeared into the distance, and then I gave a deep and profoundly emotional sigh.
“The Demon King’s general Sylvia, huh…?”
“Hey, Kazuma,” Darkness snapped, “how long are you going to keep up that stupid act?”
Crimson Magic Clan, Let’s & Go!! Page 9