by Hope Hart
I wash my hands quickly and then grab them, using them to pack the wound myself.
The pain must be intolerable, but Hewex pushes away the tonic one of the other healers offers him.
“Need…to…tell…you.”
Tagiz’s expression is terrible. The two men have been partners for years, working together. Tagiz once told me Hewex taught him everything he knows. That he thinks of him as an older brother.
Tagiz leans over. “Quickly, then. Get it out and take the tonic. You shouldn’t be awake for this.”
“Some of their light-sticks still work perfectly,” Hewex gasps out. “They took our group by surprise. We were overconfident after fighting the Dokhalls that attacked when Nevada and Zoey were taken. Their light-sticks paralyzed us.” His jaw tightens, and he looks away. “They killed all the warriors but me. I am to be a warning. Cooperate or die.”
Bile rises, and it feels like I can’t take a full breath. It’s never going to be over. They’re going to keep planning, keep attacking until we give them what they want.
Hewex finally takes the pain tonic, and Moni finishes stitching him up. We’re all quiet as we watch.
I hang around for a while, making sure Moni doesn’t need anything else. But she and the other healers seem to have it under control. Even though the Braxians recover from injuries quickly, I wouldn’t wish the kind of recovery Hewex will have on anyone. Not without drugs.
Drugs.
I glance at Moni. “I’m going to go collect a few things.”
Moni nods, her eyes on Hewex. “Bring back more ortar leaves, please.”
Tagiz’s eyes meet mine. “Do you want me to come with you?”
I shake my head. “Stay with Hewex.”
His gaze searches my face, his jaw tightening at whatever he sees, but he finally nods.
I collect Jozet on the way, and a few minutes later, I’m inhaling the sweet smell of greenery. I’m instantly calmer.
Jozet is watching me closely. He seems to realize I need space though, and he’s staying at least ten feet away so I have the illusion of privacy.
I’m tired.
Every time I close my eyes, all I can see are the bars of that cage. All I can hear are the taunts of the Voildi as they discussed whether or not I’d live long enough to be able to be sold.
Occasionally in my dreams, I’m standing on that stage on that strange planet, the Dokhalls bidding on me. And then, not long after, I trip and fall, and all I can hear is the crack of my ribs as one of them kicks me while I’m down.
But now I have a new dream. Nevada, her face pale, jaw tight as she glares at the Dokhalls. I can’t stop thinking about the blind determination on her face as she tried to bargain with me to take her baby and run. And the way the Dokhalls took us right from under the Braxians’ noses.
I’m pretty sure I know what I’ll see in my dreams tonight.
Hewex, lying helpless on the ground as the Dokhalls taunt him, cutting him up. His friends dead.
Because of us.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame myself or the other human women. We were taken from our homes, and we’ve been doing whatever it takes to survive. Thanks to the Braxians, we’re all doing much better than we could’ve expected.
But the Braxians were just living their lives before we came along. Since then, they’ve been focused on protecting us, keeping us safe. Fighting in battles and wars and constantly pivoting to face new threats.
The other women are right. Something has to be done.
I know I don’t look well. Jozet frowned at me a few minutes ago, and Moni constantly remarks on my dark circles. She offered me a sleeping tonic again, but I’m terrified of being stuck in the dreams, unable to wake up. The best sleep I’ve had on Agron was the one I had in Tagiz’s arms.
But there’s only one thing that will truly make me feel safe again.
The death of all the remaining Dokhalls.
I search the forest floor until I find the tiny yellow mushrooms I’ve been looking for. I stare at them, hesitating.
The words I intoned at my graduation spring to mind.
I solemnly pledge…
I lean forward and pluck three of the mushrooms, my breath coming in short pants.
…to practice my profession faithfully.
On to the moss. I find the specific kind I need crawling up one of the white tree trunks scattered here and there within the forest. It needs to be old, and I gesture for Jozet to lean up high and help me scrape some of the darker moss near one of the thicker branches.
That also goes into my basket.
I will abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous…
My hands tremble slightly, but I firm them. The next ingredient takes longer to find. Long enough that I wonder if Jozet is getting impatient, but when I glance over my shoulder, he’s leaning against a tree, sharpening one of his knives.
The flower is a bright orange. But it’s the roots that I need, and I carefully dig around the plant until I can cut out a small section.
…and will not take or knowingly administer any harmful drug…
I stride to the clearing where I spotted the white flowers I hadn’t seen before, last time I was in this part of the forest with Sarissa and Nevada. Now I know what they are.
I will do all in my power to maintain and elevate the standard of my profession…
It’s my lips that tremble this time, but I firm them as I pluck a few of the petals.
…and will hold in confidence all personal matters committed to my keeping.
One last ingredient. This plant looks similar to belladonna on Earth, also known as deadly nightshade.
It’s perfectly innocent when used alone. It’s not until it’s combined with the other ingredients in my basket that it will have the intended effect.
On Earth, I dedicated my life to healing. I took my pledge seriously.
I will devote myself to the welfare of those committed to my care.
I blink back the tears that threaten to rise as I snatch a few of the leaves and get back to my feet. This, combined with the maradoza berries, will give me everything I need.
I’m no longer on Earth. And I won’t let the Dokhalls take anything else from me.
A part of me, the small, innocent part of me that’s standing on stage with her friends, reciting the pledge…that part shrivels up and dies.
It’s replaced with a savage woman who will do whatever it takes to survive. Even if it means betraying everything I thought I stood for.
Tagiz
I grind my teeth, frustration coursing through my body. I was forced to leave Hewex’s side for another meeting with my father. Moni says the warrior will likely live, but even when he is back on his feet, he will deal with the pain for some time.
And instead of supporting the friend who has been at my side all this time, I am once again listening to my father rant about duty.
I glance at Malis, and her face is pale and drawn. She looks like a shadow of her former self, and I am beginning to feel the same. Our parents’ expectations are sucking the life and vitality from us.
Enough.
My father is ranting, two gold bands in his hand. Apparently, Malis’s father found them beneath Malis’s pillow. Heric is growing impatient.
“Father,” I interrupt, and he ceases his pacing, turning to scowl at me. Malis’s father is lounging on a chair across the kradi, his eyes dark.
“By now, you know Malis and I have no intention of mating,” I say. I glance at Malis, and her mouth drops open, hope shining in her eyes.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” my father snaps, and I sigh.
“I will mate Zoey,” I say, getting to my feet. His mouth drops open as my mother gasps.
“Tagiz,” she murmurs, and I shake my head.
“This plan of yours is causing so much pain,” I say. “Can you not see that? Malis and I are never going to want to be mated. Would you truly want us to be miserable together?”
My father stares at me, and a muscle jumps in his jaw. “You have always known this is the expectation we have for you. And now you choose to throw away all our plans for a human?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Be careful,” I warn him. “I will not tolerate you speaking about her with disrespect.”
He hisses in disbelief. “After everything we have done for you, you would throw it back in our faces? You were nobody—just another orphan when we took you in. We made you a warrior.”
I stare at him. Guilt rips through me, but I push it down. Zoey is worth my father’s anger. She is worth everything.
“I made myself a warrior. You gave me opportunities I am thankful for. But it was I who trained for hours every day. It was I who left this camp constantly to hunt and fight. Would you truly have me beholden to you for the rest of my life?”
“You would dishonor me this way? Dishonor Malis?”
Malis shakes her head, finding the voice that has been continually silenced since we were told we would be mates.
“There is no dishonor when it comes to choosing love,” she says.
“Love?” my father spits. Behind him, Malis’s father is getting to his feet, his face burning with cold rage.
“Yes,” Malis says through trembling lips. “I love Heric, and Tagiz loves Zoey. Why would you have us ruin our lives this way?”
“It’s not about you,” Malis’s father snaps. “This mating is about producing the strongest bloodlines to continue to stay close to the tribe king.”
“I am already close to the tribe king,” I say. “And I can tell you with full certainty, if Rakiz truly knew the plans you had in place and why, no one in either of our families would ever be trusted to be so close to power again.”
“You may be close to the tribe king, but what about my daughter?”
Malis’s lip quivers. “Father—”
My father holds up a hand. “This is ludicrous. We have waited long enough.”
I laugh. “What you want to happen is not happening. I suggest you move on.” I survey my father, blocking out everyone else. “I will always be grateful for your actions that day. You could have killed me, true, although I don’t believe your honor would have allowed you to. But I will not enter a loveless mating simply to keep you happy. And neither will Malis.”
My father is turning a dull purple, and my mother is staring at me as if she no longer recognizes me. My heart clenches. I knew I would lose my father, but I hoped…
I will still not change my mind.
“Do you know what Zoey said to me when she saw me with Malis recently?” I ask, and my father sneers.
“Do not speak that name in my kradi.”
I ignore him. Her words have echoed over and over in my head since the day she spoke them, and I have them memorized.
“I just want you to be happy,” I say, keeping my eyes on my father’s face. “Do whatever it is that makes you feel good, Tagiz. Live the life you want, and that will be enough for me.” I laugh bitterly. “Do you know what that is, father? That’s called unconditional love. Wanting someone to be happy more than you want them to be yours. Wanting someone to feel good even if it means they don’t do it by your side. Real love doesn’t come with threats and deals. It doesn’t mean you’re obligated to live your life a certain way so you can deserve that love.”
“You think to lecture me?”
I shrug. “I believe you must not have ever known real love if this is what you think it is. And if this is true, I am sorry for that. But we are leaving.”
I take Malis’s hand in mine, ignoring the way her parents bluster, and my eyes meet my mother’s one last time. She’s pale, her lips trembling, but she gives me a tiny nod.
Malis wipes her face, raising her head high. And then we both walk out of my father’s kradi and toward the ones we love.
Chapter Sixteen
Tagiz
In spite of the attack, Rakiz looks happier than I’ve ever seen him. Earlier, he visited Hewex, who insisted this celebration still go ahead.
“He said to grab happiness by both hands whenever it appears,” Rakiz told me. “So that is what I’m doing.” He slapped me on the shoulder. “I suggest you do the same.”
His nose is still swollen from its encounter with my fist, and my cheek is bruised and scabbing.
But now he sits next to Nevada at the head of his table, one of his fingers stroking his daughter’s tiny cheek as he murmurs in his mate’s ear. Nevada laughs at whatever he says, taking the baby from him as she begins to fuss.
The entire camp has come out to celebrate the birth of the tribe king’s daughter. I take a moment to scan the clearing, noting how much larger our tribe seems now, with the new human women along with the temporary addition of Dexar and some of his warriors.
The qatai stalks over to Rakiz, slapping him on the back as he gazes down at Danica. He turns his attention to Alexis, a look of promise in his eyes, and she grins back at him, raising her eyebrows suggestively.
Someone begins playing music, and Beth reaches for Zarix, who sways with her in the center of the clearing. A few more couples join them, and I nod at my father as he holds court at his table.
“Do you think the human females will be able to use the spaceship?” Jozet asks.
I turn to him, and he hands me a cup. His gaze is on one of the new human females, and his eyes light with challenge as she meets his gaze and quickly glances away.
“Tagiz, Jozet,” Nevada calls.
Jozet’s cheeks turn red as we move closer to our tribe queen. He almost squirms as Nevada raises her eyebrow at him.
“I apologize for my words in the cave,” he says, and she snorts.
“You’re not the first male to panic during labor, and you won’t be the last. You kept us safe, and that’s all I needed.” She pulls the cloth away from the bundle in her arms. “You can hold her if you want.”
Jozet immediately puts his hands behind his back, shaking his head, and Nevada laughs.
“Tagiz?”
I clear my throat, taking the baby, conscious of Rakiz watching me closely. She’s light. So light she barely weighs anything at all. But the babe is beautiful, her tiny hand clutching my finger.
Zoey approaches, grinning at Nevada. “You look happy.” She leans around my arm, cooing at Danica, who studies her face.
“You look beautiful,” I murmur to Zoey. Her dress is new, and the blue perfectly matches her eyes. Her hair is piled on her head, long strands falling in places as if she has just been tumbled.
She smiles at me, but it doesn’t meet her eyes, and she quickly glances away. I offer her the baby, and she doesn’t hesitate, cuddling the tiny bundle close as she sways to the music. She sniffs at Danica’s head. “God, that baby smell is like a drug,” she murmurs, and Nevada laughs.
“You’re a natural with her,” she says, and Zoey smiles, still swaying as she gazes down at Danica.
I’m hit with a bolt of primal lust. A need to ensure when Zoey clutches her own babe to her, that babe is mine. Rakiz meets my gaze, a half smile on his face as if he can read my thoughts.
Zoey’s eyes meet mine over the baby’s head, and I barely refrain from taking her mouth, from claiming her in front of my entire tribe. There are too many eyes on us right now, however, and I have far too much to say.
She glances away, her shoulders stiff, and I want to pull her aside, to make her listen to me. But I will wait until she is ready.
Charlie approaches, looking lost without Dragix by her side.
“How are you doing?” Nevada asks her, patting the seat next to her.
Charlie leans over and places a kiss on the top of Danica’s head before slumping into a chair. “Dragix is due back tomorrow. About damn time. I swear, being separated from him is the worst.”
Zoey grins. “Well, that’s not surprising. You guys were practically joined at the hip before he let you come back here.”
Charlie nods. “Have you guys heard anything from Vivian and S
arissa yet?”
“Nope. The other women seem to be pinning all their hopes on them though. No pressure.” Nevada laughs.
“Speaking of…I need to talk to you guys tomorrow,” Zoey murmurs to Nevada, and the tribe queen raises her eyebrow.
“We can talk about it now.”
“It’s okay. You should enjoy this night before we talk about revenge plans.”
Nevada claps her hands. “My favorite thing. Gimme.”
Zoey laughs, slowly lowering herself into the chair next to Charlie, and I realize the baby has fallen asleep in her arms. Tenderness unfurls in my chest at the sight, and I claim the chair next to her.
Zoey ignores me, but I am content to simply be in her presence.
“I’ve created something that might help against the Dokhalls,” she says.
“What kind of something?” Nevada asks. Next to her, Rakiz leans forward, obviously interested in this conversation as well.
“A poison. One that should level the playing field, considering they still have those light-sticks.”
Nevada raises her eyebrows, and my hand itches with the need to take Zoey’s hand in mine. From the look on her face, my gentle little healer is already upset at the thought of taking more Dokhall lives.
“What kind of poison?”
Zoey shrugs. “The deadly kind. I’m not sure the best way to use it right now, which is why I wanted to talk to you guys about it. It could be used to poison their drinking source, or we could dip arrowheads into it if we’re luring the Dokhalls to the ship. We may even be able to use it in the air if we can get them somewhere inside. I’m not entirely sure.”
Rakiz nods. “This is good news. We need every weapon we can in this fight. Thank you, Zoey.”
My little healer nods, a slight blush rising on her cheeks, but she has become pale.
I lean over, murmuring into her ear. “I need to talk to you.”
Her gaze jumps to mine and then shifts across the clearing to where my father is watching us.
I move until my body is blocking her view of my father. “I need to speak with you privately,” I murmur.
She glances back toward my parents. Her chin juts out, and I almost bury my hand in her hair and lay her on the table in front of everyone. Nothing makes me harder than watching my little healer be stubborn.