by Danni Roan
Stepping away from the door his eyes fell on the woman from the depot sitting in the big rocking chair in the office, his little girl in her arms as they both slept in peaceful repose, and anger flared, igniting like a prairie fire after a drought.
It should have been his Alice sitting in that chair rocking his daughter. No other woman should be Sophie’s comfort, rest, and peace, and his heart seemed to implode, leaving a vacuum he couldn’t fill. Turning sharply on his heel Ellery stepping back out the door hurrying toward the stable and the old mare his father kept. He needed to escape, needed to run, needed to be anywhere but there.
The world seemed to be closing in on Ellery as he grabbed a halter and dragged the old mare from the barn, slipping onto her bare back and driving his heels into her ribs as she leapt from the yard in a spray of dust and grass.
The warm sun seemed to beat on his back as he leaned over the back of the dark horse tears stinging his eyes. Breaking free of the town he had grown up in, with no thought of where he was going, Ellery soon felt the old mare slow her pace along a tree covered lane and he eased back, his whole body shaking from the effort to stay on his mount.
Trotting out of the trees, the winded mare settled to a walk, heaving as she came to rest in a small field, head drooping, her flanks speckled with sweat.
Ellery felt himself slipping, felt his legs lose their tenuous grip on the mare’s back as he tipped sideways falling to the ground in a heap of brokenness and exhaustion. He didn’t know how long he lay there, tears burning down his cheeks as his body trembled, but the sun moved, shifting slowly along its set eternal path.
Eyes closed, the grief stricken man didn’t know if he slept, but little by little he grew numb and the pain he had felt at the vision in the rocking chair ebbed away leaving him empty, still and hollow.
A shadow passed over his space, but he didn’t look up, assuming the old horse had simply grazed its way back in his direction, and he never opened his eyes.
***
“Miss Polly!” Toby Druthers slammed through the back door of the house making Polly Esther jump.
“Good heavens Toby, you could give a body a heart attack doing that!” she chided.
“Well best get a hold of yourself ‘cause your old mare is here in the yard all on her own,” the boy of nine said. “She looks like she’s been ridden hard and then come on home herself. Did Mr. George take her out?” Toby’s dark eyes were worried and Polly gasped.
“George has been here all day,” she said. “He hurt his ankle and can’t get up and do anything.”
“I’d better run and tell the sheriff something’s up,” the boy spoke turning for the door an excited light sparking in his dark eyes.
“What are you going to tell him?” Polly asked, worry and doubt filling her heart. “I can’t imagine Ellery would have taken her,” she mused heading down the hall. “Grab a cookie and wait right there,” she shot back over her shoulder as she hurried up the stairs.
Polly knocked softly on her son’s door not sure how to approach him. He was so surly, so reclusive, not at all the outgoing young man she knew so well, but no one answered. Pushing the door open softly, she peered into the room but it was empty.
As time had progressed, she or Becky would duck into Ellery’s sanctuary when he was in the bath, or when he’d gone for a walk in the night, collecting dirty clothes or changing the bedding quickly before he returned. Now the room was starkly quiet, empty and still.
“Toby! Toby!” Polly cried racing down the stairs, “get the sheriff or Ferd. Ellery’s not here. He must have taken the mare and something happened.” Her hands trembled as the boy dashed back through the door heading for the Sheriff’s office and help, leaving Polly to clutch her apron in fear.
“Polly what’s wrong?” Becky asked running down the stairs and swinging into the kitchen.
“Ellery isn’t in his room and Toby found our old mare wandering in the yard.” Polly’s blue eyes were full of fear and doubt as her mind ran through dreadful scenarios.
“Polly,” George’s voice echoed from the closed door of the parlor even as Polly Esther began to fear the worst.
“Coming George,” she said reaching out and clasping Becky’s hand in hers in a silent plea for prayer.
Chapter 9
“You dead or just sleepin’ Mr.?” a deep voice rolled over Ellery and he opened one eye to glare up at a hulking shadow that seemed to block out the sun.
Dead might have been better than this endless aching exhaustion he felt, but Ellery forced himself to reply. “I’m not dead.”
A big hand reached down to him and Ellery accepted it letting himself be half dragged from the ground. “You get throwed?”
“No, I guess you could say I got tired and slipped off. Don’t I know you?”
“You should,” the big man before him grinned. “It’s me, Rock, Rock Bannon,” the cowboy built like a boulder said with a big grin. “I haven’t seen you in Biders Clump for nigh fifteen years. Ellery, glad to see you back home.”
Ellery extricated his hand from the big man’s and brushed himself off. “How ya been Rock?” he finally asked, his head buzzing with feelings he didn’t want to deal with.
“I got hitched,” Rock grinned, his wide weathered face beaming. “I hope you’ll meet my Mary Ellen sometime. I was mighty sorry to hear about your Alice,” he finished kindly.
“Thank you,” Ellery ground though a tight throat. “I’d better get home,” he continued gazing around for his horse. “Looks like I’m walkin’ though.”
“You’re closer to the Adams’ place than you are home,” Rock said. “Why don’t you trail along with me a spell, and we’ll get you a horse from Quil and Cameron. They’ll be happy to see you as well.”
“No, no,” Ellery tried. “I’ll just walk home.”
Rock shrugged, his thick shoulders rippling with tight muscles. “Suit yourself,” he said, “but I reckon when your horse gets back to the boarding house Miss Polly will be mighty worried. Be faster if you come back with me.”
Ellery ran a hand through his dark hair then reached for his hat pulling it tight over his brown hair. “I guess that makes more sense,” he finally agreed still not looking forward to seeing any of the Adams clan. He’d known all three of the girls as spindly-legged chits, but his mother had kept him informed of the news in Biders Clump, and the Adams girls had grown into beautiful young women and were happily married now.
“How is Maud now?” He asked thinking of Mrs. Adams and falling into step with Rock. “Ma said she married old Harlan Dixon. I can’t believe it after the running feud they had goin’ all these years.”
“It was a big surprise to all of us,” Rock agreed tugging his horse in line behind him. “They live over at the Dixon place now, but Cam, that’s Quil’s husband, he runs the Adams outfit. He’s a good man, you’ll like him.”
Ellery nodded absently trying to think of how he could get out of dealing with even more people. Rock had always been a quiet man, so he wouldn’t be so bad, but there was no way Ellery could deal with the three Adams girls and their husbands.
“I’d best not stick around when we get to the ranch,” Ellery finally said. “Ma will be worried. Knowing her, the minute she knows I’m missing she’ll call the sheriff.”
Rock chuckled. “Seems to me she might have done that a time or two when you and your brother’s went missing for too long,” his voice rumbled chasing some of the buzzing from Ellery’s brain.
“We did get in a scrape or two back then,” Ellery shook his head as old memories pressed in, but he resisted the happy memories growing quiet once more.
“If you aren’t up to seein’ everyone, I’ll fetch you a horse, and you can set off home,” Rock’s voice was hushed as they approached the big log cabin in the woods that had been Andrew and Maud Adams’ home.
“I’d appreciate that Rock,” Ellery agreed. “I’m not very good company just now.”
Rock slapped Ellery on the back m
aking him sway on his feet. “It’s good to see you Ell,” the big man said. “I’ll take you into town and fetch the horse back with me. I was headed that way when I found you, anyway.”
Ellery only nodded, looking around at the familiar ranch with the big corrals and deep pine forest behind the cabin. A cool breeze drifted off the mountain brushing his face like a kiss and he closed his eyes, the familiarity of the surroundings chipping at the stone of his heart.
It was only a matter of minutes before he was in the saddle of a solid bay horse Rock had brought to him and trotting along beside the other man. Somewhere over the years, time had caught up with Biders Clump, and Ellery had to admit that many of the changes around him had been for the best. The road to the Rocking A was smoother than when he had been young, and the trees were trimmed neatly away from several paths that crossed the road leading into the woods.
The two riders were only a quarter mile from town when two more horsemen came toward them, both sporting a shining badge.
“Rock, Ellery,” the white haired sheriff of Biders Clump called. “Good to see that you aren’t dead, eaten by a bear, or captured by wild outlaws,” the old lawman chuckled.
“I guess you could say I lost my seat, Sheriff Pike,” Ellery confessed. “I take it Ma over reacted.”
“She was a bit perturbed,” the sheriff grinned. “You best get home Ferd,” he added turning toward his deputy. “I know Constance likes to have you close in her condition.”
“Sheriff, do you have to keep bringing that up? I’m already nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers with this baby on the way. I never did see myself as a father you know.”
“You’ll be a great father,” Rock laughed. “At least as long as you don’t keep that wife of yours waiting. I suppose she’s expecting you for lunch,” he added making the younger man scowl.
“She’s a bit touchy right now is all,” Ferd said. “She has a lot on her mind what with the Major being poorly and the like. Grandma Wooster is doin’ all she can to make him comfortable, but he’s a very old man.”
Sheriff Pike reached over patting Ferd on the shoulder. “Go on home to your family,” the older man said. “I’ll see Ellery home.”
“Alright,” Ferd grinned. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he added pushing his hat back on his head and nodding a good bye.
The three riders fell into step, none inclined to speak as they headed toward town and the quiet steadiness of the other two men seemed to wash around Ellery like the sea lapping at the sand, shifting something so slowly, he didn’t even realize it. He was home. He was in a place where old friends and dear family loved him, and though he didn’t recognize it now. He was exactly where he needed to be.
Chapter 10
“Ernie, Ernie!” Little Georgie Olson raced down the hall, a bright smile on his face as he skidded to a stop in the kitchen. “Look what I did today,” the boy waved a paper before Ernestine making her laugh as she tried to read it.
In the month she had been at the boarding house and helping with the children, they had warmed to her but none so much so as Georgie and Sophia. The two younger children were far more willing to accept her as caregiver and embrace the love she couldn’t help but offer. Each child was such a unique creation and blessing with their own special talents and gifts. Who wouldn’t love them?
“Hold it still a second,” Ernie laughed, shifting Sophia to her other knee and grasping the boy’s hand steadying the paper.
“I wrote my name,” Georgie grinned proudly shifting so he could look past Ernie’s elbow at the crooked letters on the page.
“I see that,” Ernie smiled placing the paper on the table and giving the boy a one-armed hug. “You did a wonderful job too. Go show your grandma now,” she added nodding toward Polly who had turned from the sink a weary smile on her face.
“You wrote your name?” Polly asked even as the front door opened and a woman’s voice called a hello.
“I did,” Georgie said. “I’m gonna show gramps now,” he added snatching the paper back and heading for the back door, “Where is he anyway?”
“Try the livery,” Polly laughed, “but don’t be gone long.”
Georgie nodded slamming out the door with the exuberance of youth.
“Hello Miss Polly,” A tired looking Janine Sparak said moving to the table and flopping into a chair in a most unladylike manner as she adjusted the bundle in her arms.
“Janine, so nice to see you,” Polly said, “and you brought that little sweet heart with you. Ernie this is Janine and little Valentine.”
“Hello,” Ernie offered, “I’m Ernestine, governess to the Olson children. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“A governess?” Janine straightened in her seat. “I didn’t know they still had them.” The young woman looked exhausted, her shimmering red hair was disheveled, there were dark circles under her eyes, and her dress was decidedly rumpled.
“Why yes, there are still governesses, nannies, and even nurses,” Ernie said kindly.
“I wish I had any one of them,” Janine groaned as Polly set out tea and cookies. “I’m so tired,” the young woman sniffed. “I love my sweet little Emma,” she continued a tear glistening on her cheek, “but I’m sure I’m not a good mother and will ruin everything.”
Polly looked up meeting Ernie’s eyes in understanding. “Janine, that’s just the lack of sleep talking,” Polly chided.
“Why don’t you let me take her for a minute,” Ernie asked kindly putting a squirming Sophia on the floor. “I love babies.”
“I always thought I did to,” Janine said, carefully handing her daughter to the other woman. “The whole time I was pregnant I couldn’t wait to hold this little thing in my arms and tell her how much she is loved. Now I feel like I can’t do anything right.”
“And what does Bruno say?” Polly asked, a knowing glint in her blue eye as she took a seat, pushing a plate of cookies toward Janine.
“He says I’m doing fine, and that I’m going to be the best mama ever, but I always ruin everything,” the girl burst into tears, burying her face in her hands.
Polly pushed her chair back, but before she could rise Ernie was on her feet and wrapping and arm around the younger woman. “You are not a terrible mother,” she said confidently. “Just look at this perfect little girl. She’s content, well fed, and obviously loved. Many mothers don’t know this, but sometimes your moods and such fluctuate something fierce after a baby is born. That’s normal. Besides, it’s hard when you aren’t getting much sleep with a new baby.”
Janine sniffed nodding as Ernie pulled back. “You don’t know me,” she said. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to do anything.”
Ernie rocked back on her heels looking up at the beautiful young woman before her. “I don’t need to know you to see you love your baby girl,” she spoke.
“But what if I mess up? What if I get it wrong?”
Polly’s laugh made both women turn, looking at her in surprise.
“You’ll do all that,” Polly chortled lifting a delicate teacup in her hands. “Every mother gets it wrong at some point, but if you love them, really love each one of them, they’ll come out all right.”
Janine blinked at Polly, her dark eyes shining with unshed tears. “You really think so?”
“I’ve raised nine of my own,” Polly Esther laughed. “I might know a thing or two.”
Ernie smiled turning back and nodding at Janine. “That’s good advice,” she said, “but if you ever need me to keep this sweet little girl for you just let me know.”
Janine relaxed into her chair as Ernie returned to her seat, still cradling Valentine in her arms. “Do you mean it?” Janine asked lifting her cup.
“If it’s fine with Polly and George, I’d love too. There’s nothing wrong with taking a few minutes for yourself even when you’re a mother. Like right now, why don’t you run up stairs and wash your face, comb your hair and put yourself to rights. You’ll fe
el much better if you do.”
Janine flicked her eyes to Polly seeking confirmation and smiling when the older woman nodded.
“I didn’t think we needed Ernie here when George hired her,” Polly admitted, “but she’s been a blessing, and when the three oldest are away at school, I don’t see why it would be a hardship for her to watch Valentine for a few minutes. We’ve been so busy now that the weather is getting nice that I declare I don’t know what I would have done without her.”
Janine smiled her thanks, drying her eyes with the back of her hand as she stood. “I’ll only be a minute,” she sighed hurrying back down the hall and up the stairs to the bathroom above.
The sound of the front door made everyone look toward the hall as Alyssa and Mark walked in. “Where’s Georgie?” Alyssa asked peering around the kitchen. “He ran on a head of us, and I couldn’t stop him,” the girl stated her voice nervous.
“He’s gone to the Livery with George,” Polly said as Ernie rocked the baby in her arms. “You two help yourself to some milk,” she said lightly, “and you can have a cookie or two before homework starts.”
“Yes ma’am,” both children responded politely. Ernie was sure they were warming to her, but they still had reservations, and she couldn’t fault them for it. This little family had been through a great many changes in recent months and the wounds of the past lingered, healing slowly and only with loving care.
***
“Thank you for how kind you were to Janine,” Polly said as Ernie cleared the table an hour later after sending the children out to do their chores. “That girl has never believed she could do anything useful. Her father spoiled her something terrible as a child, and about the only one who ever believed she could be anything was Bruno, her husband. Of course Jasper Williams never believed the boy was good enough for her, but that’s another tale.”